


The Benefactor II: Bound & Begging

by butcherbaker17maker



Series: The Benefactor [2]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, BDSM, Begging, Bondage, Broken jihan, Daddy Kink, Dildos, Dirty Talk, Friends With Benefits, Gang Violence, Gangs, Gay Sex, I'm not joking a dog will die, Kidnapping, Kinks, M/M, Mafia AU, Multi, Oral Sex, Pets dying, Porn, Porn With Plot, Rope Bondage, Sex, Sex Toys, Smut, Thighs, broken soonseok, i just decided this now so, thigh riding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-18
Updated: 2017-10-31
Packaged: 2018-08-31 17:57:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 38
Words: 112,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8588212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/butcherbaker17maker/pseuds/butcherbaker17maker
Summary: Soonyoung is scraping by as an architect student when he accidentally finds himself on several mafia factions' hitlist for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Gangster boss Lee Seokmin is willing to embrace Soonyoung into his corporation to protect him, given that Soonyoung provides a certain type of service to his new boss...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story is a sequel to The Benefactor. Reading the original is advisable but not necessary.

 The first time it happened was just as he was waltzing out of a convenience store, and some fifteen-year-old punk with an ear full of metal and a bad side-shave tripped over his sneakers in the road and dropped a backpack on his toes. The weight of the backpack was enough to crush three of his toes, so _God knows_ what was in it, but because the boy stumbled the two men following him caught him.

Across the street then there was a café, and standing in front of it with his hands in his pockets, stood a man in a full black suit and shades, watching quietly.

It gave him no reason for concern.

The second time, a high-speed car chase had been going on for twenty-eight minutes downtown, and he just so happened to accidentally cut the getaway car off on his motorbike, allowing the police to nab the perps with ease.

That time, in one of the dark alleys he zoomed past, stood a man with his hands in his pockets, wearing a full black suit and shades, watching quietly.

It worried him a little.

The third time, he was in the convenience store when he saw that one of the two drunken customers harassing the poor girl at work had a gun tucked down his pants. He hadn’t thought about it, acting rashly, simply bouldering both of the men over, gripping the gun and chucking it through the grating into the sewers. He went back to check on the poor girl, but both the men had gotten away.

When he left the convenience store after helping the girl – Sana, was her name – with the cut on her head, there was a man standing across the road. He had his hands in his pockets, wore a full black suit and shades, and was watching quietly.

That gave genuine cause for concern.

The fourth time was when he really, really knew he’d blown it – when two suckers showed up at university with rifle-like type weapons out in the open, and he’d clobbered them to the ground before he even knew what he was doing himself. Due to his rash nature, he spent eight hours in the police department, explaining what he’d done and why. He missed two lectures and was probably gonna get his ass kicked for not handing in his Ancient Roman essay, but to make things better his photo would be on the University website for a full month after it.

When he was finally released after giving his final statements, he hopped onto his motorbike to leave. Unfortunately he didn’t get very far down the street when a black van stood in the way, taking up the entire street. In front of it stood a tall man in a full black suit with his hands in his pockets and shades on his face, despite the time of night that it was.

He made gestures and faces, but eventually had to stop and cut the motor. “Hey! What gi-”

“Take him.”

And before he even knew it, the dimly lit city became a handcuffed blackness.


	2. Chapter 2

 

 

The office was nice, he supposed, in a very awkward _Dr. Niles Crane meets Motherfucking Dracula_ kind of way. It had dark red-brown wooden panelling all around, vertical blinds with fake plants on the windowsills, and beige lampshades perched upon brassy stands that gave a dim, yellowish light to the room.

To the left there was a small area owning a glass coffee table atop a brown rug, surrounded by brown leather couches rarely seen outside of TV and studio sets of psychologists’ offices.

In front of him was a dark wooden bureau matching its surroundings: there was a fake cactus on one corner, the table being otherwise occupied with papers, paperweights, clipboards, files, and other office bric-a-brac. He was sitting in a vaguely comfortable red armchair, at an angle but still seated towards the owner of the bureau.

All around there were small palm trees, whether real or not couldn’t be discernible from a distance – it was all almost normal, if it were not for the hipflask lying atop the bureau that had been engraved with the words _the blood of my enemies_ , and if that didn’t make you want to run, he wasn’t sure what would.

However, the moment he slowly rose from the chair, a thick, strong and assured hand pressed on his shoulder to place him back in his seat. For a moment, he considered that his shoulder may have been dislocated with the pressure. Then he saw that the man’s hand led to a heavily tattooed wrist, and decided not to press the matter much further.

The man who arrived shortly after was by no means what he had expected – he’d expected either some kind of medical doctor, a burly, muscled man or a full-out psychopath, but this figure did little for any of those fantasies.

He was young – quite young – and tall, with a slender figure. He had a normal haircut, and wasn’t blasting any tattoos to the world. He simply wore a full black suit, shirt, tie and all. When he took off his shades, the look on his face was quite serious – it was a chiselled, hard, angular face. Sharp. The kind of face that meant business, all straight, taught lines and no room for fault.

He reminded him a little of his cousin, and the idea was a little disconcerting.

“So. You’re the one.” The man’s deep tone was highlighted by the nonchalant way he hitched his feet onto the edge of his bureau and flicked through the papers in his hands, leaning back in his easy chair. “That’s been causing all this trouble.”

The general atmosphere of the room began to sink in. “Tru – trouble? Me? Heh, I uh, I don’t cause any trouble.” That was a lie – he knew it was – but he didn’t cause _this_ kind of trouble and just wait for the earful dad would give him if-

A new attempt to get up off the chair was once again pulverized by the hand on his shoulder, forcing him to make contact with his seat again.

“You’ve been causing all kinds of trouble for me lately. Me, and some of my… acquaintances. It’s been a bit of a pain.”

“I don’t know what you mean.” He tried to smile innocently – dumb his way out. “I haven’t done anything.”

“Kwon Soonyoung.” The man began to flick the papers in his hands onto the bureau one by one. “Aged twenty-two, home residence is in Jeju with a brother, adopted father, cousin and father’s brother. Bloodtype B, born on the fifteenth of June 1996. Originally from Namyangju, resident student at Seoul National University. You live with flatmate Kim Mingyu born on the sixth of April 1997, bloodtype B. When you’re not in lectures or classes or the library you run extra shifts at your part-time job, being a waiter at the French restaurant. Last month you barely made enough money to cover your half of the bills, rent and groceries.” The man looked up with such a cold, sharp, infallible look at that it made hairs stand up across the room. “Am I wrong?”

Soonyoung could barely move. “…no?”

“Kwon-Soon-young.” The man opened a drawer and pulled out a silver casket of cigars, clipping one before offering it to Soonyoung.

“…I don’t smoke.” He momentarily wondered if refusing a cigar from a man like this was a good idea, then quickly came to the conclusion that getting beaten up by thugs was temporary and lung cancer was for life.

“Your loss, kid.” The man put the cigar between his lips and an attendee – one of the two that were standing by the door, not the one holding Soonyoung down – rushed over to light it for him. He took a few puffs of the cigar before glancing at Soonyoung again. “What a surprise. You’ve got a cute face.”

It was as if Soonyoung’s brain had just been switched off. Nothing was going through it. He didn’t even have a ready answer to that. He had nothing.

“Anyway, the point is that I can’t have you walking around wreaking havoc everywhere you go, so something must be done about that.” He paused as a new thought came to him. “What martial arts do you know?”

Brain Mode: On.

“I use a combination of Taekwondo, Wing Chun and Ninjutsu,” Soonyoung said automatically. Then the back part of his brain booted up like a faulty Windows XP computer, and wondered whether it was a good idea to give such valuable information away to what was obviously a mafia group.

“I see.” The man placed the cigar back between his lips and smoked the rest of it up, allowing and extremely awkward and uncomfortable silence to grow over everybody else in the room.

“If you’ll excuse me, I’ll just be going now-”

“Stay.” There was no hand this time, but the tone that was held lingered in the air. It was so demanding, Soonyoung had no choice but to obey.

“Leave us.”

And just like that, Soonyoung was alone with this man, all his precious bodyguards no doubt standing on the other side of the door.

The man took his feet off the desk and leaned over it, staring at Soonyoung for a moment. “You have to understand that I don’t have many options here, kid. You got into this mess yourself.”

“…how, exactly?”

“You already know how.” He leaned back in his chair. “The boy with the heavy bag. The car. The men in the store. The men with the guns. You’ve been messing around in turf wars that are none of your concern.”

The words seemed sluggish on his tongue but were quick in the air. “Turf war?”

“Good God man, the mafia! Get it together!”

“Right, right.”

The man leaned back again, surveying Soonyoung as he sat there pitifully. “You see, the boy with the bag was one of my guys – and I let the incident go, because of various reasons. The other three were… well, not exactly friends of mine. Well, it’s all very awkward, so I have no choice.”

“You’re going to kill me,” Soonyoung confirmed, surprised at how calm he was at the idea. At least he wouldn’t have to ask Dad for more money again. There was an awkward conversation before it even started.

The man frowned, the inner corners of his already angled eyebrows turning down even further. “Kill you? You’ve got to be joking. A man with your physical talent and propensity for being in the right place at the right time? Besides, you have a cute face, I’m not going to waste you.” The word _yet_ hung heavy in the air, unspoken, but alive nonetheless. “No. I’m telling you that you’ve got alternative employment. A job.”

That didn’t entirely compute the first time. “What?”

“I said, you’ve got a job.”

There was a silence.

“I’m paying you money to be my person.” The man allowed another pause to fall. “I’m not paying you little, either.”

Soonyoung flinched a bit. “You want me to be your bodyguard or something? Because I _just_ do martial arts. And I’ve still got school and-”

“No, you hardly exude the aura of somebody not to be trifled with, don’t be an idiot. Bodyguard, hah. No, you’ll be a personal assistant. On call. It would be… _beneficial_ to me to have your name on my personnel list.” His mouth seemed to twist a little at the word. “And it would be extra protection for you. You don’t want anybody coming after you, do you?”

“…that would be bad,” the boy answered slowly.

“It would.”

“What does _personal assistant_ entail exactly? Because if my dad heard I got tangled up with the mafia, no amount of weaponized bodyguard ape-men are going to save my hide. He’s a terrifying man, and he’s _blind_.”

“You’re afraid of a blind man?”

Soonyoung shuddered a little. “I swear to God, he can _smell_ it when you fuck up. And he did Taekwondo too, in his time. You can’t fuck with him. Can’t lie to him. Can’t avoid him. Can’t beat him.” His voice dropped to a mumble that exuded terror, through-and-through. “But at least he’s not Jihoon.”

The man behind the bureau just rose a single eyebrow.

“Anyway, what does it mean?”

“I call on you, and you hike around with me. Hold my papers, briefcase, get things for me. Of course, there are… benefits I wouldn’t mind give you.” The man finally smiled, but it was a dark kind of smile, void of genuine happiness. “But somehow, I don’t think you’ll go for them.”

Soonyoung wavered, frowning. “I don’t understand.”

The man sighed, and nodded at the wall. “Go stand there.”

Well, it wasn’t like Soonyoung had a _choice_. He got out of the chair and stood at the bare spot of the wall he had been directed to: after a few moments the man came out from behind his bureau to stand in front of him imposingly.

His hand flew out to smack against the wall beside Soonyoung’s face, making him flinch a little. The man simply grinned darkly, looking the student up and down. “I wonder…”

“What?”

Without another word the man leaned down and slid his tongue into Soonyoung’s mouth as his hand dropped to handle him through his jeans.

It all only took a second before he pulled away with a triumphant, _evil_ grin. “I think those kinds of benefits are… the nicest. Don’t you?”

Soonyoung couldn’t actually make his mouth move in shock.

“I’ll pay for your rent and your tuition, I’ll fuck you out…” The man’s lips came near Soonyoung’s ear, breath hot, voice low. “I promise I’ll be good. You can ask my other personal assistant if you like.”

That was the moment Soonyoung’s body finally restarted and he used his full strength to push the mafia boss off of him. “What the fuck? You want me to be your _whore_ just so I can pay the bills?”

The man shook his jacket and regained his cool, shrugging. “I don’t see how you can refuse. You’re failing all your classes because you have to work instead of study.”

“I’d rather drop out,” Soonyoung growled.

The man surveyed him a moment. “And the other people who are out for your life?”

“I’m _sure_ they won’t _rape_ me on the way,” he spat. “I’d rather you just killed me!”

The man shrugged, motioning at the door. “You’re free to leave, if you really don’t like the offer. I’d advise against it though.”

Soonyoung didn’t think it over for even a second, simply turning to the door. The bodyguards behind it just pointed to an elevator and soon enough, the poor University student was out in the streets again, his motorbike lying at the door in wait.

It took him half an hour to drive to somewhere that was familiar to him, and then another forty-five minutes to get home – it was 3AM by that time and Mingyu was just settling into the fourth season of _Game of Thrones_ and the second tub of ice-cream.

“Hey! Where have you been? You _never_ work this late.”

“Long story.”

“That you’re not gonna tell me, huh?”

“I just want to go to bed,” Soonyoung muttered shortly.

Mingyu watched him for a moment and swiftly decided that, going on the premise that he didn’t want to be pulverized into Little Mingyu Chunks, he shouldn’t press the matter. “Okay. Sleep tight.”

“Use your head phones.”

“I will.”

Soonyoung marched past the living room and into his bedroom, where he instantly flopped onto the bed and stuffed his hand down his jeans, gripping himself _hard_.

He was in no way repulsed by the idea of sex, nor sex with a man, nor sex with a handsome, tall man with brooding eyes, a deep voice and an aura that exuded power. But Soonyoung had an unfortunately dominant and impatient sex drive, and the feeling of that man’s hand and tongue were still poignantly fresh in his memory. And _fuck_ , it was good.

Not good enough to agree to be his – what, prostitute-on-call? But good enough to jack off to, certainly. The feeling of him standing there, over him, with his hot tongue inside Soonyoung’s mouth – the way he spoke so confidently, the way he was entirely at ease. It was good – sinfully, darkly, deliciously good. It was attractive, and entirely evil, but he couldn’t help it. It was like when the villains in dramas were played by dastardly good-looking actors.

It occurred to Soonyoung, as he was cleaning himself off, that he might be a freak. Some kind of sex drive monster that couldn’t keep it in his pants for five minutes. Some weirdo who could be turned on by pretty much anything.

Then again, maybe not. After all, the entire idea that the mafia might murder him was a turn-off of unforeseen proportions.

Just before he could switch off the light, an irritating beeping noise filled the air, and he was obliged to dive for his phone.

“Hey, hyung.”

Soonyoung smiled. His little brother’s face was really in those tumultuous teen years, where soft lines were starting to harden and his jaw was sharp enough to grate cheese off. He’d gotten a piercing three months ago, and Jihoon had almost murdered him for it. “Hey, asshole.”

Samuel’s little face on the screen pouted furiously for a moment before smoothing out. “Whatever.”

“Why are you calling in the middle of the night?” Soonyoung’s eyes darted up to the corner of his phone for a moment, making a face at the hour before turning back to his little brother. “You need to sleep.”

“So do you,” Samuel shrugged. “I don’t know. I had a rough day. Needed a friendly face.”

“Is dad being a dick again?”

He shook his head.

“Did you get in trouble with Jihoon?”

Samuel sighed a little and held his wrist up. “It’s just one teeny, tiny one. I don’t see why-”

“ _Dude,_ you got a _tattoo,_ and Jihoon didn’t like, stuff you in the oven and put it up high or something?”

Samuel grinned. “Dad wouldn’t allow it.”

“You’re brave.” Soonyoung shook his head with a benign, soft smile. “I’m not even on the same piece of land as Jihoon is and I don’t have the balls to get tattooed.”

Samuel just laughed and the two brothers stared at each other for a while.

“Miss you,” the younger said plainly, the smile on his face fading.

Soonyoung’s smile dropped, too. No matter how hard of a time he had given his kid brother when they were younger, they had always been _together,_ and being apart had been rough lately. Soonyoung wasn’t able to come home in the summer months, having to work through holidays in order to pay off his rent, so they hadn’t seen each other in three years. “Yeah, kid. I miss you lots, too.”

“I didn’t say _lots_.” Samuel rolled his eyes, but grinned away. “Anyway, why are you still awake?”

“Dude, you don’t want to know.”

“Wet dream, huh?”

“Dude, no, gross, shut up.” Soonyoung made a        face. “And since when do you talk about stuff like that?”

Samuel just made a series of facial expressions to convey how ridiculed he felt before moving on. “Anyway. Jihoon and Dad both miss you, too.”

“Good,” Soonyoung grinned.

“And the dogs.”

“Doubly good.”

“Dad learned how to juggle.”

“… _why_?”

“…he lost a bet. Jihoon bet him he wouldn’t correctly remember the date they met or something.”

The conversation was pretty tame, after that; domestic and cute, and soon Samuel was yawning so his big brother forced him off to bed.

Soonyoung lay in his bed with his phone on his chest, exhausted, staring up at the ceiling. Home. Samuel, Dad, Jihoon, Jisoo, the dogs… he missed their little island, their house, their back garden with the huge dog house he made so many years ago.

With memories of the first time he ever met Charlie dancing behind his eyelids, Soonyoung fell asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

 “I made breakfast if you’re interested.”

“Marry me,” Soonyoung sighed in delight, falling on the platter of food Mingyu had set out on the breakfast table. He’d already shovelled three spoonfuls of mixed rice into his mouth before his flatmate could possibly answer.

“You need to stop proposing to me every time I make you food,” he grinned, shaking his head slowly. “I’m making omelette, too, so just hold back until everything is done, you ridiculous oaf. You know, one of these days you’re going to have to learn how to cook for yourself. Or get married to a perfect little housewife.” Here, Mingyu snorted, turned, and plated a perfect ham-cheese omelette.

“I don’t think a perfect little housewife is gonna marry me.”

“I agree.”

“Asshole.”

“Jerk.”

“Freak.”

“That’s not nice language you’re using to the man you just proposed to.”

“Suck a dick.”

“Not until our wedding night, dearest.”

Soonyoung rolled his eyes. It was lucky that Mingyu was such an excellent cook, or their friendship wouldn’t have survived three years of college dorming together.

In thirty minutes flat they had inhaled all the available food, and then Soonyoung was rushing off – hair still wet, in a crumpled shirt, with a bundle of papers under one arm and a bag of books under the other. Today was a day of lectures from nine to nine and he wasn’t about to miss any of it.

 

“Mr. Kwon?”

“Ye-” _Duck, turn, run three steps, turn, jump._ He dropped all his items, allowing the paper to roll across the road precariously. Both arms rose to the occasion automatically, his back tensed, and his right foot moved back slightly. His position changed slightly, redistributing his weight evenly. His body prepared itself for a fight.

It was something to grapple with somebody his size and age in an official wing chun ring or taekwondo tournament, or even in the dojo, but three men the size of polar bears with crowbars was something he hadn’t quite tried before.

He just had to keep backing up, watching the three small mountains close in on him. “What do you want?”

Nobody answered him. One threw his crowbar – missed, thankfully, and that disarmed him enough to allow Soonyoung the courage to go for him. A simple skid had him on his knees, and bashing his jaw against the sidewalk would put him out for a _while_.

The remaining two hitmen decided to attack at the same time: when Soonyoung ducked to the right, the henchman on the left managed to hit his partner in the gut with his crowbar, and with him puking up blood on the pavement, it left only one stupid oaf to take care of. And even if he had a crowbar, it wasn’t that difficult.

Soonyoung left the three men semi-conscious on the streets, hurriedly picked up all his items, and legged it to school like he hadn’t just saved his own life.

Needless to say, he took ten minutes in the men’s bathroom splashing his face with water and trying to rationalize his entire life and all his life decisions before _actually_ going to class.

“Yo.” Eyoung took her feet off what was traditionally Soonyoung’s chair in the large lecture hall, allowing him to take his seat. “Wow, what happened to you? You look like crap.”

“You do _not_ want to know.”

The girl grinned slyly. “ _Long night,_ huh?”

“Shut up, it wasn’t like that.”

“Finish your essay?”

There was a pause, a moment of silence before Soonyoung slumped forward, allowing his head to hit the table in front of him as he let out a very long, loud, exacerbated groan. “Shit.”

“You have a wild life,” the girl commented. “You working tonight?”

“Nope.”

“You want to come out tonight with Irene and me?”

“And _I_.”

“Whatever. Do you? We’re going shopping. I’ll buy you fries.”

Soonyoung perked up a little, glancing up with one eye. “The curly kind?”

“Sure.”

He sprang up happily. “You’re on.”

 

“You’re home.”

“Yup.” Soonyoung shook his hair out, letting raindrops fall in the hallway. “What’s up, potato-head?”

Mingyu bridled for a moment before looking away from the television, muting it with one hand. “Some people came around today looking for you. I think they were tax guys. Are you okay?”

Soonyoung stiffly moved to a chair. “What did they want?”

“I don’t know, man.”

“Mingyu, please. Just tell me what happened.”

“Well, these two guys came by earlier, in full suits, you know? They were huge, too. They wanted to know if you were here. And I said you were gone but you wouldn’t be back till the asscrack of midnight. And then they asked a bunch of questions and left.”

“Stop munching on the bloody popcorn and tell me what questions they asked.”

“Alright, alright. Em, they asked where you studied, and where you worked, and who your family was, and how your finances was, and uh, whether you’d been acting weird lately, and whether you had been staying out late a lot, stuff like that. It was really weird.”

At the sound of the word _family_ , Soonyoung’s eyebrow rose so high it almost popped off his head entirely. “And what _exactly_ did you tell them?”

Mingyu gave him a dark look. “Was I born yesterday? I told them I didn’t know, but you’re a normal, private guy, and I don’t know much about you except that you’re a glutton and you’re gonna get fat. Then I told them to leave.”

The boy exhaled in relief, letting the stress fall from his expression. “Thank God.”

“Thank _Mingyu_ ,” the young man corrected. “What was all that about? Are you in trouble with the feds? Do you need money? I can lend you some it’s not-”

“If I needed the money _that_ bad I could ask my dad, it’s not like he doesn’t have it.” Soonyoung pulled a pained expression at the idea of asking his family for more money. “It’s not that kind of trouble. Don’t worry about it. If guys like that show up again, lock the door and don’t let them in. Don’t speak to them. They’ll go away.”

Mingyu gave him a sceptical look. “What have you done?”

“Nothing,” Soonyoung replied, a little too innocently. “Hey… you’re gay, right?”

Mingyu paused, choking on his own tongue with his drink half-way to his mouth. “What? No!”

Soonyoung gave him a look.

“I’m not!”

“So when Wonwoo comes over to _study_ , what subject are yall studying? The subject of How To Moan Correctly with a side of Half Your Personal Budget is Spent on Condoms and Lube?”

Mingyu’s expression sank to a bitter, flat look as he took a swig of beer. “Okay. So. What’s your point.”

Soonyoung stared into the distance, thinking about it for a moment. “Do you think it’s morally ambiguous to have sex with somebody you’re not interested in, but still think is kind of hot?”

“… _uh, yeah._ ”

“Like, morally ambiguous as in, I’m going to hell, or as in I can still get away with it?”

Mingyu made a face. “I guess it’s a bad idea all around. If you don’t even like the person, there’s no reason to have sex with them. You _can’t_ be that lusty, keep it in your pants. Friends with benefits is even _worse_.”

Soonyoung made a disappointed kind of sound – not just because that wasn’t the answer he wanted to hear, but also because he knew Mingyu wasn’t wrong. “Right. Bad idea all around.”

“Who are you fucking?”

“Nobody, I guess. It was just an errant thought, I wasn’t seriously thinking about it or anything.” Soonyoung shrugged, getting up. “I’m gonna shower and hit the hay. Don’t stay up too late.”

“Yeah.”

 

That morning, Soonyoung made the executive decision to simply run for his bike as fast as he possibly could, instead of trying to stay and fight today’s henchmen – mainly because there were a lot of them and he was exhausted enough as it was, having been awake all night with the doom of the mafia hanging over his head. Unfortunately, he could barely spend five minutes inside University before the day’s problems showed up.

On the screens at the elevators where schedule changes were regularly posted, was a notice from the dean.

A notice for Soonyoung.

A notice for Soonyoung to see the dean _immediately._

This led to a fifteen-minute chase as Soonyoung went from one information bureau to another on campus, trying to figure out where the dean’s office was. Of course, the dean’s office had been a stop on the tour he’d gotten as a freshman, but who had actually _remembered_ that? So he flitted from one secretary to another before finally arriving at the dean’s office, panting over the little desk there. “I’m sorry, ma’am, I’m Kwon Soonyoung? The dean sent for me.”

“Yes, go straight in. He wants to see you right away.”

The poor boy dropped to a whisper. “Ma’am, what have I _done_?”

The poor woman just gave him a non-committal shrug.

The dean was starting to bald, his widow’s peak regressing slightly, as he sat and typed on his laptop with a frightening speed. 300 characters a minute, surely, if not more. He barely looked up before urging Soonyoung forward to sit in a chair.

He sat carefully, keeping his knees close, sitting straight, pretending to be a model student.

“Soonyoung.” The dean stopped typing and turned to him, folding his hands on his desk. “I’ll be very frank with you. Your tuition until the end of your degree has been paid off, and the University has been offered an _extremely_ generous donation to allow you to stay on as long as it takes for you to finish your degree.”

Soonyoung’s brain flatwired, then went _what the actual fuck, did dad cut me some breaks?_  which then rapidly turned to _oh fuck no, oh hell to the naw, tell me he **didn’t**_.

“I have to tell you that the donation is of such a magnitude that the university would have to be mad to reject the offer. I just want to know what exactly is going on that you are deemed of such importance to such a generous benefactor.”

Soonyoung gritted his teeth as the information began to settle in his mind. “…I’m not, at liberty to say,” he managed to grind out after a long pause.

The dean pressed him for twenty minutes – as if he was the mafia himself – before allowing Soonyoung the freedom to leave; after which, he ditched the rest of his morning lecture to get back on his bike, ripping up the streets as he drove.

He was deep in unfamiliar territory before he slowed down: he had the vague notion that this was the area of town he had been kidnapped to, but in daylight, he couldn’t be sure where to go.

“Hey.” He’d come to a full stop, and beside him, a similar motorbike had stopped in the middle of the road. The driver pulled off a lime green helmet, allowing long, blond locks to fall in tresses past his shoulders. “You looking for the boss?”

Soonyoung pulled his visor up, kind of pissed off, kind of surprised. “Guess so.”

The man was ridiculously pretty – delicate features, excellent bone structure, big wide eyes. He grinned broadly, and it was painful to look at, he was so pretty. “He said you might come around. Follow me.”

Soonyoung’s visor pulled down again and he vaguely wondered whether this was going to be the same _boss_ he saw two nights ago, or whether he was desperately in the wrong part of town and some other mafia boss was coming for his ass. He wouldn’t know the bloody difference anyway.

The ridiculously pretty motorist parked his Suzuki in front of what had to have been at least a thirty-story building and took his helmet off again, allowing his hair to blow in the wind for a moment. “Don’t worry, nobody will have the guts to steal it,” he grinned at Soonyoung, allowing his own helmet to hang off the back of his bike. “I’m going up to see him now.”

Soonyoung didn’t respond; he simply kept silent, the throbbing in his head delayed a little. He followed the pretty, blond man into a tiled lobby that seemed to be for a gas distribution company, where the female secretaries all gave Jeonghan happy, bright smiles. Over to one side were elevators: around a corner, one more.

“Private elevator,” the blond grinned. “He doesn’t like mixing in with the guys who work at the company. I’m Jeonghan by the way.”

Soonyoung couldn’t refuse to shake the pretty man’s hand. “Soonyoung.”

Jeonghan looked him up and down with a never-ending smile before punching the number 23 and allowing the door to slide closed. “Well, well. So you’re his new thing. You don’t look like his usual.”

Soonyoung’s jaw clenched at the idea.

“You’ll enjoy him, though. He’s excellent.”

Soonyoung exhaled slowly. This was an infuriatingly long elevator ride.

“Don’t get too attached though, he doesn’t usually keeps little morsels around for long.” Jeonghan looked at him anew. “Although, it guess it depends on how much you amuse him.”

“Listen-”

“We’re here!” Jeonghan’s smile was replaced on his face with the jingling of the elevator. It opened into a warm hallway, panelled in wood and dotted around with fake potted plants. Jeonghan led the way around the hallway to an area where multiple seats lined the walls, all of them filled with mountainous henchmen. Jeonghan waltzed past them with a spring in his step, barging into the office Soonyoung recognized a little too well.

“Daddy, I brought you a present!”

The man didn’t even look away from his papers. “Thank you, Minghao. You can go now.” It wasn’t until the man standing by the desk had left that the tall, dark man looked up at the blond, allowing Jeonghan to kiss him deeply. “Hello, pretty. Thank you for bringing him in. I knew you could do it.”

Jeonghan seemed to glow with happiness at that, beaming at his boss.

“You can have the rest of the day, alright?” He grinned at his blond and waited until Jeonghan had exited before glancing at Soonyoung with a wide grin. “Please, take a seat.”

“You bloody hell-bound demonic _fucker!”_ Soonyoung growled, allowing his fist slam on the desk. “Who told you to go ahead and pay for my tuition?”

The man just sat down comfortably, smiling. “Your choices are few and far between, you know that, right?”

“Why did you do it? I already told you I’m not a prostitute for you.”

He pursed his lips a little bit. “Well nobody said we _had_ to have sex, if you’re straight, or don’t think I’m attractive.”

“That’s _entirely_ beside the point you dull fucker!”

“So you _do_ think I’m attractive.”

“Listen, I have no problems with sex, sex without relationships, sex with guys – but I do _not_ do sex for money, so forget it! Take back the money you offered the university.”

“Can’t, it’s already been done.” He grinned. “But you don’t have to look at it that way. You could look at it as a sort of… friends-with-benefits deal, and your actual salary comes from doing _actual_ assistance. Bookkeeping, keeping me company on long drives, that kind of thing.”

Soonyoung sank into a chair in anger and exhaustion. “Listen, you’re not getting it. I can’t become an employee with the _mafia._ ”

“You don’t have a choice. Men have been to your apartment to take you away, right?”

Soonyoung didn’t answer.

“Your flatmate, Mingyu.” At this, his face drew a little sharper. “He’ll be next. Your family won’t be safe, either, I don’t care what island they’re on. You become my man, they’re all safe.”

“Listen…”

“I won’t interfere with your studies, I promise. On lecture days, or days that you need to study, they’re all yours.”

Soonyoung closed his eyes, allowing his hands to cover his face a moment. “Alright, alright, let’s just… _assume_ … just for a second, that I’m considering all of this. I’m _not_ your personal prostitute, you are _not_ paying me for sex.”

“Agreed.”

Soonyoung exhaled slowly.

“We don’t have to have sex at all, if you’re that opposed to it. Pity, though. You’re very pretty.”

Soonyoung flashed him a warning look before shuffling in his seat. “Jeonghan told me that you take on people like me all the time, and then you get tired of them. What happens when you get tired?”

“I compensate them for their time and let them go.” He looked Soonyoung up and down. “That won’t happen with you.”

“Why not?”

The man came out from behind his desk and leaned in over Soonyoung for a moment. “Not paying you,” he whispered darkly, before leaning in and kissing him.

At first, Soonyoung didn’t know what to do – but then his heart began to beat and blood itched under his skin as adrenaline rushed through his body, tingling in his limbs. His hands were automatically sneaking up to his shoulders, his lips were beating back against the heat that was bearing down upon them, his tongue was snaking up to deepen the kiss, his fingers pulled his partner closer. He let out a lustful growl when a knee was placed between his legs on the chair, and panted harshly when his lips were let go.

_Shit, that was hot. If it’s morally ambiguous… who cares?_

“That’s why not,” he grinned.

Soonyoung blinked, trying to act normally. “We- you know we’ve kissed twice now and I don’t even know your name.”

The man grinned darkly, standing up straight again. “Does that mean that you’ll be my man?”

Soonyoung paused, considering all his options – no options at all, in reality – before sighing and rolling his eyes a bit, shuffling uncomfortably. “Yeah, yeah. Not much of a choice.”

“Seokmin. My name is Seokmin.” And with that, Seokmin just gripped him out of his chair, placing Soonyoung on the edge of the desk. He came to stand in between Soonyoung’s legs, pressing his hips up close. “Now, let me show you all your… benefits.”


	4. Chapter 4

Soonyoung would have protested, if Seokmin wasn’t such an amazing kisser. His nails dug into Seokmin’s shoulders when the taller man leaned down to kiss him. It really affected him, made his fingers tremble, when Seokmin leaned in a little and gripped the back of his skull.

Seokmin growled into Soonyoung’s mouth, fingers tangling in his hair as little puffs of breathes were gasped in between kisses and moans. Eventually his lips deserted their space on Soonyoung’s, opting instead to nibble along the skin of his throat to his neck, all the way up until his teeth grazed Soonyoung’s earlobe.

“You’re pretty,” he growled, tonguing Soonyoung’s ear out softly. “With your pretty eyes and thick thighs. The things I’m going to do to you.”

Soonyoung’s jaw dropped a little, his hands balling into little fists with Seokmin’s blue dress shirt inside them. He couldn’t really believe what was happening to him. In the span of a single week, he was now being pawned upon by his new employer, a mafia boss. And morally ambiguous as it was, it was exhilarating, hypnotic. He could only focus on his desire for _more._ He desperately resisted the urge to moan – but giving Seokmin the satisfaction was too much, even now.

“How long has it been, baby?” Seokmin’s voice seemed to have dropped two octaves, the sound of it turning Soonyoung’s knees to jelly instantly. The man’s long, slender fingers slid under Soonyoung’s shirt, slowly teasing up over his skin. “How long has it been since you were last _fucked_? Since somebody took you in their arms and made you feel _dirty_?”

Soonyoung made an embarrassing sound – a high squeak that melted away into a moan when his new boss’ fingertips grazed his nipples on either side. He panted harshly, breath _almost_ turning into little clouds, as he tried to grapple with his mind to answer. “Uh, t- two? Years? T-two years.”

Seokmin halted a moment, pausing so he could eye Soonyoung intensely for a moment as a growl rumbled in the back of his throat. “Are you trying to tell me you haven’t been fucked in _two years_? Like, seven-hundred _days_?”

Soonyoung froze in place. “Uh, it’s more like, haven’t had sex in two years, with a side of never having bottomed out ever?”

Then Seokmin’s fingers were in his hair, stroking through and gripping him as they kissed again, his lips harsh and unforgiving. “Fuck you,” he growled, pressing in further and further until their chests were touching. “I get to fuck a sweet little _virgin_ like-”

“Hey,” Soonyoung mumbled in protest.

“Shh.” Seokmin’s hands became a degree softer, more gentle as his lips slowed down to a deep, sultry burn. “I’ll take my time,” he whispered, his voice sounding much more seductive than before in between dark kisses. “I’ll burn my lips into every inch of your skin… and I’ll make you feel like your body’s on fire.”

The words sent chills through Soonyoung, relaxing muscles he didn’t know were clenched.

Seokmin’s fingers slowly slid down from his hair, leaving a trail of heat in their wake. They wisped dangerously on his collar before unhooking the buttons underneath. With every button his lips dove down further, taking in the expanse of his throat, the plains of his chest, absolutely and without mercy.

“Do you always fuck this slow?” came a trembling complaint.

Seokmin’s fingers abandoned their place on Soonyoung’s hips to grip his thighs, pulling him close with a sudden jolt. His fingernails gripped his skin through his jeans. “Didn’t I just tell you?” he growled possessively, his eyes exuding a dangerous kind of lust. “I’ll take my time with you, until you’re consumed by me. I’m going to leave you burning, and you’re going to enjoy it. Something as delicious as you…” One hand came up to caress Soonyoung’s cheek with the back of his fingers. “…shouldn’t complain when I’m willing to give you something as precious as my time.”

The man couldn’t control his breath, no matter how much it sounded like desperate panting. “Are you always this demanding?” he gasped, trying to maintain eye contact in an  attempt not to show how affected he was.

Seokmin smirked, looking wild in his persuit of his prey, the left corner of his mouth lifting a little more than the right. “Yes,” he breathed, his voice seeming to come from somewhere in his chest. “I like making it hard on you.” One eyebrow rose. “But it seems that you’re already there.”

“Fuck you,” Soonyoung breathed, but the words held no real anger.

“Look at you, so pretty.” The fingers on Soonyoung’s cheek moved to caress him again. “The glassy look in your eyes to prove you want it… the shape of your lips, parted like that…”

“For fuck’s _sake_ ,” he whined.

Seokmin’s lips burned, but only to silence him for a few heavenly minutes. “You want it that bad?”

Soonyoung’s nails dug into his shoulders. “Don’t turn me on if you’re not going to finish what you started.”

Seokmin’s fingers slid his shirt off his shoulders, exposing him to the air, and leaned back to look at him. “ _So_ damn pretty,” he whispered in wonder, fingers digging down to unbuckle Soonyoung’s belt. “How long have you been in Seoul?”

He would have answered, but there was a hand around his cock, and it made him struggle with thought for a moment. “Three years.” It was an almost foreign feeling of being touched again, and the sensation overtook everything for a moment.

“I could have had all this flesh three years ago?” The idea pulled them together for another heated kiss that was broken off all too soon. Soonyoung’s lips broke apart in a gasp for air as Seokmin’s hand gently pulled up and down on his flesh, making his mind hazy.

“Oh fuck.”

“It _has_ been a while,” Seokmin observed with glee, watching the young man fall apart on his desk. Soonyoung had to steady himself by placing both palms on the desk behind him, leaning back with his mouth open and eyes closed as he was pleasured slowly. “Look at you.”

“God.” Soonyoung couldn’t believe it – how hard his heart was beating, how hot his skin was burning, how much he was _feeling_ , and the length he might go to to make it never stop.

Seokmin just grinned, gently weighing the length in his hand, rock-hard and flushed pink. Every time his fingers dragged upwards, Soonyoung’s face crumpled together in ecstasy; every time they dragged down, his chest caved a little. It was one of the prettiest things he’d ever seen, and he was itching to take more, see more, hear more. The delicious man on his desk was already dripping precum, arms quivering, lips trembling. “You’re dripping, shaking, moaning.”

“Fuck, _please_ just get on with it?” His pretty eyes opened for a moment. “I can’t stay in limbo forever.”

“Oh, demanding aren’t we?” The smile on his face grew to a new height of evil. “Fine.”

Before Soonyoung could take it back, it began – a painfully fast-paced hand took over, with only one goal in mind. The sudden friction was too much to handle in silence, and the sound he made was positively embarrassing. It only took a few more seconds before the pleasure hit him in waves, crashing into his body over and over. It took about a minute for him to finish, most of his cum landing on his own stomach, the rest all over his employer’s hand.

Embarrassment flooded Soonyoung’s veins. He’d just let a complete stranger jack him off on his desk and that stranger was a mafia boss with _his_ cum dripping from his fingers.

With complete ease, Seokmin walked around to open a desk from his drawer, pulling out wet wipes. He very calmly and carefully cleaned off his hand, and then continued to do the same for Soonyoung’s stomach. It was incredibly stupid after what had just happened, but it made Soonyoung _blush_.

There was just something kind of intimate about it, alright?

Seokmin turned to throw the wipes in a trashcan, and Soonyoung had to clear his throat.

“Do you, eh, want…?”

The man smirked and sat in his chair. Soonyoung stood on somewhat weak legs, getting off the desk to turn to him. “No, I’m good. Why, are you desperate?”

He pouted, instantly. “No. But… I guess… sharing is caring?”

He laughed. “Sharing is caring?”

Soonyoung crossed his arms. “I’m not selfish is what I’m saying. I’ve never left a partner… _unsatisfied_ before.”

Seokmin grinned, and it almost gave a softness to the harsh, angular planes of his face. “Well, you will today. I’ll save it until you’re fully trained.”

“…pardon?”

“What? You haven’t had sex in two years, and never bottomed out before. You’re basically a virgin. You think I’ll fuck you on the first day? No, I’ll have to do a much better job at training your body than that. Besides, you’re incredibly impatient, and we’ll have to rectify that.” His eyes seemed to trail over Soonyoung’s body for a while before the man began to button up his shirt again. “My assistant Minghao will be outside, he’ll help set things up for you.”

Soonyoung bridled. “You fuck him too?”

Seokmin looked up from the papers he was reorganizing. “Do I have the stamina to fuck a staff of five-hundred on a regular basis? He’s not a _personal_ assistant, so it shouldn’t be a problem. Anything else?”

Soonyoung looked away, trying to think of anything else he needed to ask – anything at all – but his mind was drawing a blank in the typical post-orgasm phase. “…no?”

Seokmin gave him a face that clearly said he was missing something. After a few moments of silence, he spoke. “You’re dismissed.”

The man then turned to his desk, righting it and clearing space, adamantly ignoring Soonyoung’s presence. So Soonyoung simply turned away, and left the room.

It took him a few moments on the other side of the door to work through what had just happened in that room.

_Was I just… **dismissed** … after getting a handjob off a mafia boss?_

The idea made him pull a face, an uncomfortable burning rising in his chest. Within a few moments the burn and what could only be described as unadulterated _shame_ became too much, and he ran for the nearest plotted plant to violently throw up in it.

When the initial wave was over, another human crouched by him. “You okay?”

“Uh…”

“Water?”

“…please.”

He was passed a plastic cup of tepid water and a trashcan to spit into after rinsing his mouth. Then he was given a small box.

“ _Tums_?”

“Antacids help. Do you not like Tums? They’re the only ones I have on me. What kind do you usually take?”

“Uh, I’ve never had an issue with…”

The man standing by him was good-looking in a very simple kind of way – the edges of his face seemed taught and tight, but it was a very handsome, clean look. He gave Soonyoung a pitying glance. “Hey, don’t sweat it. You’re not the first to come out of there and have their stomach go nuclear on them, and you probably won’t be the last. Take one. You’ll feel better.”

“…thanks.” Soonyoung took two of the brightly colored tablets, gnawing on them before swallowing. After a few moments, he attempted to stand straight, and soon his stomach has settled. “Lifesaver.”

The man grinned and nodded. “You might want to invest in some of those. You’ll need them.”

Soonyoung put a hand over his tender stomach for a moment. “Yeah, maybe.”

“I’m Minghao.”

“Soonyoung.” They shook hands a moment. “Oh, I’m supposed to-”

“Yeah, don’t sweat it. Take a seat and get your wits back about you. We’ll go when you feel better.” Minghao guided him to a seat in the hallway and handed him another cup of water, sitting across from him for a while.

A thousand questions were starting to bubble to the surface, and Soonyoung wasn’t entirely sure which one to ask first.

Minghao just smiled – a fairy friendly smile. “Got something you wanna ask?”

“Uh…”

“Want me to start? There’s a couple of standards people ask.”

Soonyoung just nodded, continuing to sip his water.

“Yes, everybody in this hallway heard everything. Yes, we always hear everything. On average, he does it here about three or four times a week, though usually with Jeonghan. Special visits are rare. Yes, he dismisses everybody like that, and anybody who isn’t Jeonghan comes out and pukes sooner or later the first time, so don’t sweat it. No, nobody here cares enough to judge you, and if they did, the boss would actually murder them. You’re one of his _special ones_ now, it’s like sacred ground. Like a king’s concubine.”

Soonyoung took a couple of moments to process that. “That’s fucked up, man.”

Minghao just shrugged.

“So… what now?”

“Well, there’s a couple of questionnaire forms you gotta fill out – availability and stuff. Medical history. It’s so the boss doesn’t call for you when you’re busy – I can e-mail them to you if you’d prefer. After that we’ll sit down and put you on the payroll, quit your old job and then we can see about getting you tattooed.”

Soonyoung had nodded through the entire speech, but the last word made him balk, shifting away. “Pa-pa-pardon? Did you say-”

“Tattooed.”

He froze before pulling a face. “I, eh… I can’t _get_ a tattoo.”

Minghao’s face hardened a little. “That’s a problem. Why not?”

He considered it. “My cousin will die.”

“I’m sorry?”

“My cousin Jihoon will carve out my organs and _eat them_ and then he will _die of horror_ if he finds out I got a tattoo in Seoul.”

Minghao considered that. “Listen kid, no offence, but that sounds downright pleasant next to what _might_ happen to you in this city if you aren’t tattooed properly. So put it on your shoulder and wear sleeves around your cousin. Dude, are you alright?”

Soonyoung’s face was entirely white. “Dude, I’m gonna throw up again. If Jihoon finds out-”

“Oh, God.”

 

“So you’re trying to tell me that the two things you fear most aren’t _death_ and _pain_ , but a five-foot-four ex-prostitute and a blind man?”

“I don’t fear them,” Soonyoung declared with ease, “I’m mortifyingly _terrified_ of them beyond all doubt. You don’t know. You haven’t met them. You don’t know what it’s _like_ to piss one of them off. And they mean well, they only get angry when me or my brother is doing something dangerous, but…”

“But?”

“You know when you were a kid and you hadn’t studied for an exam, and you were so afraid that you faked sick and stayed in bed all day?”

“Yeah?”

“When Jihoon gets upset, the Devil’s too scared to get out of bed, too.”

Minghao laughed, holding the door open. “If you say so, kid. I can’t imagine it.”

Soonyoung shuddered at the very thought, but let himself be led all the way to a back room, where he was introduced to a skinny, shifty kind of man that wore thin, gold-rimmed glasses and black gloves.

“Just the usual,” Minghao grinned cheerily. “Where did you want it, Soonyoung?”

The poor student just lifted his sleeve a little, fingers trembling. “So help me God,” he whispered, sighing to relax himself. “When Jihoon finds out.”


	5. Chapter 5

 “…you _what_?”

“Please, please, _please_ don’t make a big deal out of it!” Soonyoung begged, hitching his sleeve back down over his shoulder. “I’m begging you, Mingyu.”

“You can’t become a _hooker_ with the _mafia_ , what’s Uncle Jihoon gonna say?!”

“First of all, I’m not a hooker,” Soonyoung scowled. “I made sure that that was very clear with him. I’m an assistant-with-benefits. And Uncle Jihoon isn’t gonna say anything because you’re not gonna _tell_ him anything, got it?”

“Dude, you think _I_ wanna be the guy to tell Uncle Jihoon his baby cousin he _wubs so much_ has gone off in Seoul, skipping on college classes to be part of the _mafia_? Do I have a death wish?” Mingyu panted hard after his outburst, wiping the sweat off his forehead. “When I left Jeju I promised Uncle Jihoon I’d take care of you… how am I supposed to look him in the eye now?”

“It’s not all bad.” Soonyoung shrugged. “Besides that, I’m getting laid on the regular, so there’s that.”

“Well congratulations,” the taller one huffed. “Sex being the most important part of this mess.”

“Hey,” the architect snapped sharply. “You know, I didn’t do this for selfish reasons. You know those goons that have been hanging around the building lately? You think they were hanging out here for kicks? If I didn’t make this deal you could have been seriously hurt in order to get to me! Not to mention my family back in Jeju! You think I wanted this to start with? You think I’m doing this for me?”

The harsh rebuke made Mingyu look away, a little ashamed. “…I didn’t think of it that way.”

Soonyoung moved to give him a quick, awkward hug. “I love you, you dumb giant. I can’t put you in danger, alright?”

Mingyu instantly snuggled back. “Yeah, I got it. Thanks, Soonyoungie.”

He nodded once.

“So how’s the… boom jiggidy jiggidy? Any good?” The dumb giant wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, much to the chagrin of his flatmate. “Is he thick? Top? Bottom? Kinky? Boring? Old? Ugly?”

Soonyoung pouted at the interrogation, but answered anyway. “He’s young enough, and he’s… very good-looking. All hard, chiselled features and sharp eyes. He’s got a jaw that could cut you and a voice that…”

Mingyu grinned. “Wink, wonk!”

“Dude.” Soonyoung gave him a nudge with his elbow. “Shut up.”

 

[Seokmin] _Hey._

[Soonyoung] _Yo._

[Seokmin] _You text all your employers like that?_

[Soonyoung] _You made me give up my other employers, so I don’t know what you’re talking about~ Besides, I’m eating, and no offence, but you can’t compete with ramyun._

[Seokmin] _Well, I’ll try and take that with a grain of salt. Do you have time tonight?_

[Soonyoung] _Eh…_

[Seokmin] _You don’t?_

[Soonyoung] _It’s not that I don’t… I’m just lazy._

[Seokmin] _I’ll make it worth your while._

[Soonyoung] _How?_

[Seokmin] _I’ve read through your questionnaire. I now possess a full glossary of your preferred kinks. Use your imagination._

[Soonyoung] _…on my way._

[Seokmin] _Minghao’s waiting downstairs. Do what he asks and come back to me directly after when you’re done, alright? Don’t keep me waiting._

[Soonyoung] _Miss me, huh?_

[Seokmin] _If I didn’t miss you, I wouldn’t be thinking about having you splayed on my desk again. Are you always that cute when you cum? With your lips all parted and head hanging back?_

[Soonyoung] _Do you mean to make me horny before I even get there?_

[Seokmin] _Don’t complain. I’ll be waiting._

 

When Soonyoung arrived at the tall building, most of it was dim: the lobby was still brightly lit, with Minghao checking his watch every few minutes. When he finally showed up, he hurried to the door. “Don’t bother taking off your helmet,” he hailed, a hard look on his face. “Here.”

Soonyoung took the briefcase from him, inspecting it loosely. “What’s this?”

“Doesn’t matter. You don’t need to know.” Minghao stretched a little. “Listen. The Hangang bridge crosses over a small patch of land. Just under the seat of the bridge there’ll be a man called Spinner. Give him the briefcase, then come back.”

Soonyoung pursed his lips at the idea of doing this – it was obviously going to be illegal, and it made his stomach churn a little.

“Anything a problem, here?”

The boy gritted his teeth, hard. Yeah, okay, he _did_ sign up for this, so it wasn’t a big deal. He just had to switch his brain off for an hour. “That’s on the other side of Seoul,” he groaned.

“Oh, suck it up.” Minghao’s worried look cleared for a moment. “I hear you’re getting some for it, anyway.”

“True enough.” Soonyoung pulled his backpack off to slide the briefcase inside.

“Soonyoung?”

“Yeah?”

Minghao’s face was steely and cold, voice full or warning. “Don’t let the feds catch you. Don’t speed, don’t take bad turns, don’t run red lights. Don’t. Let. The feds. Catch you. With. The case. Got it?”

The tone of his voice made Soonyoung gulp a little. “Got it.”

The ride was smooth enough – he did exactly as he was told, not speeding or running any lights. By the time he made it to the bridge, his heart had had the workout of a lifetime and could finally slow down a little. He parked neatly, and scuffled his way to the drop-off spot.

The man there was tall, decidedly foreign, dressed in old clothes, smoking. He looked more like a street bum than a member of the mafia, but then Soonyoung didn’t look anything like part of the mafia either. The man looked up and put his lighter away, making his way over. “Damn, you’re like twelve.”

Soonyoung just pursed his lips a little. “Spinner?”

“Yeah, that’s me.”

Soonyoung pulled out the briefcase with ease and held it out. “Here.”

Spinner chuckled to himself and took the case, hand curling over Soonyoung’s. “What a cute kid.”

Soonyoung pulled his hand out from under Spinner’s with ease. “Alright now. See ya.”

“Hey, why don’t you stay a while? The boss hasn’t sent anybody this cute in a while.”

Soonyoung just shrugged, putting his helmet on again. “I’ve got places to be, sorry.”

“Aw, come on. Stay.”

Soonyoung shuddered as his keys turned in the ignition. Once he was half-way back to the bridge, his heart finally calmed down.

 _Forget it,_ he thought to himself. _And just relax._

The moment he was back at Seokmin’s building, the lobby had been dimmed and Minghao was done, so he simply let himself in and took the elevator up.

“Soonyoung, is that you?” His voice trembled through the walls all the way down the hallway. It was full of men in dark suits who were obviously some kind of security force, but they didn’t blink an eyelid when Soonyoung stepped out of the elevator.

“Who else would I be, expecting somebody else?”

Seokmin darted out of his office in a hurry – tie loose, shirt sleeves rolled up, hair mussed – and grabbed Soonyoung’s wrist hard. “You’re all dismissed,” he barked, forcing the security to move towards the elevator. “Be gone in ten seconds.” Once he’d dragged Soonyoung into his office he slammed the door behind him.

“Hey – what?!” Soonyoung protested a little as he was forced against the door, but soon mellowed when his lips were arrested. Seokmin’s lips were so gentle and forceful at the same time, it warmed his chest a little. “…hello,” he smiled softly, once he was let go.

Seokmin looked at him darkly, as if he could see under Soonyoung’s very skin. “Sh. Don’t speak. Don’t move. Let me _look_ at you.”

Soonyoung smirked a little at that, remaining still as Seokmin’s eyes roamed over his face and body hungrily – jaw a little slack, hair dishevelled. He seemed almost manic in his movements, darting here and there with his eyes.

When he finally looked up, Soonyoung moved his arms around Soonyoung’s waist. “Arrrre you okay?”

Seokmin sighed and closed his eyes, leaning forward until his forehead rested on Soonyoung’s shoulder. “Long day,” he simply murmured, “and then you turn up like this.”

“Like what?”

Seokmin’s hands dragged down his latest employee’s body, palms pressing, fingers trailing. Down his chest and over his abdomen, slowly, making the boy squirm. “So thick,” came the seductive whisper, “so soft and thick and _delicious_ … my new, precious Soonyoungie…”

When Seokmin’s lips found Soonyoung’s lips the boy made a little whimper of a noise. His arms just naturally folded on Seokmin’s back but his fingers ended up scrabbling helplessly. “Oh, _fuck_.”

“Hmm, what a dirty mouth…”

Soonyoung instantly went bright red, jaw falling open in surprise. “U-uh, uh uhm, uh…”

“Told you.” His voice was tinged with a smirk as his mouth ravaged his earlobe. “I have a glossary of your kinks. I intend to use them all.”

“A-a-all?”

A hot tongue snaked over his skin, making him tremble. “ _All._ One by one I’ll make you want me until you’re desperate…”

“I’m desperate now?” he tried.

Seokmin smirked, that left side of his mouth turning up again. “Not nearly enough. I want you dripping, Soonyoung.”

“Du-du-drip-”

“Mhm. Dripping.” Lips teased against his throat softly. “With sweat and cum and drool, until you’re shaking, until my name is the only thing on your lips. Until I’m the only thing you desire, until you’re a slave to me.” Seokmin’s lips left a kiss on Soonyoung’s throat quickly before he stood straight again. “Soonyoungie…”

“Hmm?”

He grinned. “Your hands are on my butt.”

Soonyoung moved his palms slightly up and down, but never away. “So?”

“I like it.”

“So do I.”

Seokmin kissed him again, and it was like a fire; low, slow, burning with an intense heat that warmed him right through. He gripped Soonyoung’s head on both sides and ground against him, allowing the friction to turn them both rock-hard.

“Soonyoungie,” the heated voice whispered between kisses, “do you know what would make you look _pretty?_ ”

Soonyoung’s breath caught in his throat a moment.

“If you were riding daddy’s cock. I think that would make you so, _so_ pretty, baby. With daddy’s cock buried deep inside you and my fingers gripping your delicious thighs, and your head bent back and your cock slapping against your skin. Wouldn’t that be pretty?” Seokmin’s thumb traced the edge of Soonyoung’s lip slowly. “With your mouth moaning out and your stomach tight and all you could do was let daddy thrust into you slowly… so slowly it made you cry… wouldn’t that just be the _prettiest_ thing?”

Soonyoung’s mouth opened of its own accord; his hands moved to grip Seokmin’s wrist, taking three of his fingers in at once. His tongue whipped against the digits hungrily, moaning a little as his eyes slipped closed.

“You like it when daddy dirty talks you, don’t you?” Seokmin’s free hand dipped into Soonyoung's pants, warmly massaging his cock with ease. “It makes you feel good, doesn’t it? When I tell you all the naughty things I’m going to do with your body. It makes you want daddy so much more. It makes your cock hard, thinking of what I’ll do to you. Where my hands will be, where my cock will be.” His teeth grazed Soonyoung’s earlobe and he almost cried. “There, there now, baby. Can you take your clothes off for daddy?”

Soonyoung’s fingers seemed to float away from Seokmin’s wrist to unbutton his shirt, allowing it to slide off his shoulders with ease.

“Good boy,” came the whisper, and he had to breathe deeply. “What a good boy. Jeans too.”

The stimuli of fingers playing in his mouth and on his cock were beginning to be too much – Soonyoung’s fingers trembled as he unclothed himself entirely, until he was standing against the door, entirely naked.

Seokmin smiled, pressing an almost chaste kiss against the boy’s jaw. “So _pretty_ , you’re a pretty, good boy, aren’t you?”

The boy just moaned around his employer’s fingers.

“Good boy.” Seokmin gave his cock a last little jerk before letting go, pulling his fingers away. “Do you know what would make you pretty, Soonyoungie?”

His heart racked, speeding up considerably.

“Go sit on the couch.”

The boy almost complained – almost – but then went and sat dutifully on the couch on the other side of the room.

Seokmin chuckled as he cleaned his fingers off with a tissue from his desk. “No, baby. Get up and turn around.”

Soonyoung obeyed.

“Now put your knees on the couch, nice and wide… and put your hands on the back.” Seokmin smiled at the sight. “How cute, you don’t know how to do it. Lean forward, baby. More. And perk your pretty ass out so daddy can see it.”

Soonyoung gently amended his form until he was bent forward with his ass out and legs a little wide, entirely on display like an ad on a porn site.

“For my viewing pleasure only,” Seokmin smirked as he took a drink of bourbon from a glass on his desk. “God, you’re a sight to behold, you know that? You’re fleshy and pink and damn _beautiful._ ”

Soonyoung allowed his head to dip forward, panting, sweat rolling down his face. His desire was growing by the moment, tingling in his flesh; he could only let out a small grunt to showcase how desperate he really was.

“What a pretty sound.” Suddenly Seokmin’s fingers were on his skin; trailing up his spinal cord from halfway his back. His fingers gently carded through Soonyoung’s hair, stroking him. “Can you make that sound again?”

Soonyoung’s bottom lip trembled as he tried to breathe properly, but no sound came out.

The fingers in his hair suddenly became rough, curling around his roots and gently forcing his head up. “Baby,” a dark voice muttered in his ear, “daddy wants to hear you moan.”

Soonyoung _whimpered_ , his whole body taught and tight, making a high keening noise that represented just how tightly he was wound. He clenched his eyes shut, breathing hard in an attempt to downplay how turned on he was. How desperately he wanted release.

“That’s better baby.” The fingers turned gentle again, stroking his hair softly. “Don’t hold back your noises around daddy.” His hand moved back down his spine and tickled his spine softly. “You’re holding position perfectly, baby. Your body looks so pretty like this, stretched out and ready.”

“ _Hng._ ”

“ _Louder,_ ” he demanded darkly, his palm suddenly flying.

Soonyoung let out a short cry in surprise more than pain, losing his stance instantly. His cheek felt a little warm and his face flooded to blush red, realizing what just happened.

Seokmin’s lips ducked down to his neck, nibbling for a moment. “ _So_ much better, baby,” he growled happily. “Is that what daddy has to do to get you to make pretty noises? Do you need a spanking?”

Soonyoung wasn’t sure if he was meant to answer or not – but it didn’t matter, because he wasn’t able to create a coherent sentence in his state anyway. Blood was rushing through his veins as heat pooled between his legs and he let out a small, baseless whimper of lust over and over, fingers trembling.

Seokmin slapped him again, harder this time, eliciting a louder cry from him that quick dissolved into a slutty _“Please, fuck, oh, fuck, yes…”_

Seokmin’s hand pressed down gently on Soonyoung’s back. “Back into position,” he taunted softly. “The longer you stay in position, the better it will be. You sound so damn slutty when you beg like that…” His lips came quite close to Soonyoung’s ear. “Stay vocal, and I promise I’ll make you cum so hard you see stars.”

“Oh, fuck.” Soonyoung was spanked again and he shot out of his position only to fall back into it instantly, muttering to himself. “Oh fuck, oh fuck yes daddy, daddy _please_ …”

“Good boy.” The next slap made Soonyoung shake and shudder, simply sliding his knees further apart and perking his ass out even more. “Oh, how pretty. You look like a porn star. Look at this ass.” He received another light hit, making him shudder all over.

Seokmin’s hands grew soft, gently rubbing Soonyoung’s cheeks. “So pretty, so perky and _soft_ ,” he whispered, playing with the man’s flesh. “Pretty and red… oh, Soonyoungie, you’re so pretty.”

Soonyoung had almost gotten his breathing regular again – almost – until he inhaled sharply, the most foreign, _strange_ feeling leaving him speechless. It felt wrong, but it didn’t quite hurt – not really, it was just… exhilarating.

“You like that, baby?” A kiss was placed against the back of one of his thighs. “When I’m done with you, you’ll be begging for my cock to be there. You’ll _need_ it.”

Soonyoung almost choked, trying to exhale. His legs were shaking on weak knees, and he felt like his stomach would explode. He wanted friction oh-so badly, but now the new sensation was giving him other ideas.

“Dirty little thing, aren’t you?” Another finger was added, very suddenly, and Soonyoung bent away with a little yowl.

“Shhhh, baby. You’ll get used to it in a minute.”

“It hurts!”

“Shhhh.” Seokmin’s hand stroked Soonyoung’s back comfortingly. “I’m going to spread you wide, baby. Your hole is going to be so wide, you could take two of me, when I’m done with you. You’re going to beg to be fisted, to fill you up. You want it, don’t you? You want to be _fucked_ , you want to scream and moan.”

He was about to protest, but then suddenly there was friction against his tip and he almost lost control of his body. “Fu-fuck.”

“Tell daddy what you want,” came the soft voice.

“I… I want… to be fucked,” the man mumbled, pressing his face into his arm, embarrassed. “Please.”

“Oh?”

“Don’t make me beg,” he begged.

Seokmin smirked, using one hand to gently tug Soonyoung’s cock while the other gently worked two fingers in and out of his ass. “But that’s exactly what daddy wants, baby. He wants you to beg. When you’re nice and vocal I’ll give you a treat.” He jerked him off a moment to emphasize the point. “Be my good baby, Soonyoungie.”

Soonyoung whimpered a little. “P-please keep going,” he whispered darkly, giving in to the tight feeling in his stomach. He couldn’t move with Seokmin’s fingers inside of him, but the heated lust for friction was too strong. “Please?”

“What, this?” Seokmin smirked happily as he moved his left hand up and down Soonyoung’s length.

“Yes!” Soonyoung pressed his mouth to his arm again, embarrassed by the sound he made. His voice lowered to a sustained whimper as he was continued to be jacked off – to the point where even the fingers in his ass didn’t hurt so much. “Yes, yes, yes, mm, yes…”

“How does it feel, baby?”

“Good,” came the whisper back. “Oh daddy, it feels so good…”

Seokmin moved to press his stomach against Soonyoung’s back, hands still in place. His mouth pressed fervent kisses into Soonyoung’s back as he crawled up until he was nuzzled by Soonyoung’s ear. “You’ve got a thick cock,” he crooned softly, making the student moan. “It’s so heavy in my hand… what a naughty feature. Do you like it when daddy plays with your cock?”

“ _Yeeees_ ,” Soonyoung moaned quietly, panting with desire. His entire body was filled with heat and everything felt soft and _good_ , so good he was losing himself to his desire.

“Good boy, you’re such a good boy. Here.” Seokmin shifted and gripped Soonyoung’s shoulder – within minutes he was inching down on his employer’s fingers, sitting on them with whimpers and moans with his legs spread wide. Seokmin simply sat between his legs with a self-satisfied smirk, curling his hand around Soonyoung’s cock again. “You’re so damn naughty, Soonyoung. You look… dishevelled, and hazy, with your mouth open and your eyes begging for it.”

“Please.” Soonyoung shut his eyes. “Please, please, please, please, just let me come, please. I just want it so bad. Please.”

“So naughty… I’ll only jack you off if you promise to cum all over yourself like a dirty little slut.”

“Yes, yes I’ll be dirty, just _please_ -”

Seokmin’s hand held no mercy – it dragged up and down his skin quickly with a harsh grip, the sensations heightening with every drag downwards. Soonyoung’s entire body twitched with the feeling, making him moan and thrash slightly until he finally released, cum spurting out in thick ropes over his tan skin. Seokmin’s hand never left him, simply jerking him through each expulsion, his thumb sliding over the tip to clean it off.

Soonyoung simply lay there, gasping for air as Seokmin gently slid his fingers out from under him. His lungs hurt, and his throat, and his ass, but he felt _amazing_ , his vision creating black and white dots all over as he reeled from the orgasm.

Seokmin took sanitary wipes from his desk, cleaning both hands before turning back to the student on the couch. The sight of him made him smile a little – all fucked out and worn out. He placed the wipes beside him gently. “Clean up and dress, handsome, or you’ll get sick.”

Soonyoung’s mouth twisted a little. “Don’t you have any blankets here instead?” he mumbled sleepily. “It’s the middle of the night.”

Seokmin grinned to himself. “At least clean up and get dressed.”

“Fine.” Soonyoung very decidedly refused to look at his boss as he wiped himself down and gently got back into the clothes that still stood by the door. He had only barely opened the door before a voice stopped him.

“Where are you going?”


	6. Chapter 6

Seokmin looked at him with great severity. “I haven’t dismissed you.”

“You were going to anyway,” Soonyoung muttered, hands gripping the small box in his pocket. Within a few more moments the burning sensation in his stomach warranted immediate action: he pulled out an antacid and chewed down on it. “It’s late.”

Seokmin’s face became hard and stony. “I wasn’t going to, and I don’t want you to leave, so get back in here and sit down.”

Soonyoung briefly considered leaving anyway before grimacing and slamming the door shut as he passed back into the room. He flopped down in one of the seats in front of the desk, glaring at the man behind it. He crossed his arms, tired, and waited.

Seokmin ran his finger down the paper he was reading. “You don’t have a lot of kinks listed. Is that due to ignorance or are you just a boring partner?”

Soonyoung’s jaw clenched a moment, and he had to work to loosen it. “I was asked to list only the kinks I have as a sub,” he managed to growl out. “I don’t sub often.”

“But you do mention here that you’re willing to switch if your partner so demands.”

“It’s for _special occasions,_ ” Soonyoung muttered sharply.

Seokmin didn’t even flinch. “It says here voyeurism is a turn-on but you won’t allow media to be taken of you in compromising positions. Why is that?”

“You’re a mafia boss, you tell me,” he snapped. “I piss you off once and you have enough material on me to end my career.”

Seokmin looked up at that, so impassive there was no telling if he felt any emotion at all. “Oh.” He returned to the paper. “There’s not much to work with here.”

Soonyoung rolled his eyes a little.

“You’re upset. Why?” Seokmin let the paper go and folded his hands on top, leaning in to stare at Soonyoung. “Were you unsatisfied?”

He had to grind his molars a bit. “No,” he admitted.

“Then why are you so angry?”

Soonyoung couldn’t answer that – mostly because he wasn’t entirely sure why he was angry. He just turned to the side, looking away.

Seokmin watched him for a few moments before leaning back. “The wardrobe has some blankets in it. You can grab them if you like.”

Soonyoung got up – he would have even if he wasn’t cold, if just to have a reason not to look at Seokmin anymore. The wardrobe stood near the desk and wasn’t locked, so all he had to do was open it and pull down the blankets. “Why do you even want me here still?”

Seokmin sighed a little before answering. “I enjoy having company,” he muttered. “When the company is pretty and cums moaning like a dirty slut, all the better. If you’re tired you don’t have to sit there, you can lie on the couch.”

Soonyoung huddled himself in the blanket, perching on the seat, both feet tucked up. “What’s the point in keeping you company if I’m all the way over there?”

Seokmin almost twitched for a smile. Almost. “You’re cute.”

“Stop saying that. It’s really emasculating.”

“Being cute can be masculine,” Seokmin argued, not looking away from his computer screen. “After all, you have a cock, don’t you? It’s just a turn-on when you’re horny.” He looked up suddenly. “You’re very demanding when you get horny, you know that?”

Soonyoung didn’t answer.

“I like it.” His lips twitched a moment. “It’s erotic. Don’t change.”

He just rolled his eyes.

“What do you study?”

“What?”

“You go to University. What do you study?”

Soonyoung almost answered very rudely, but managed to reign it in. “Isn’t that on my questionnaire too?”

“Do you think I read all of it? What kind of time do you think I have for me to be reading that whole thing?”

“If you’re going to ask your employees to fill in a form, you should at least read it.”

Seokmin turned to him impassively, face drawn. “Are you going to answer the question or not?”

Soonyoung pulled a face, wrapping his blanket tighter. “Architecture.”

The man turned back to his computer, continuing to read. “Why?”

“What?”

“Are you going to ask me to repeat everything I say? Why did you choose architecture?”

The architect huddled back a little, moving to lean his head on the back of the chair comfortably. “I’ve been interested in architecture since I was young. It was a natural path to take. Well…” Staring at the carpet, Soonyoung smiled gently. “Maybe not entirely natural. Without that person, I never would have done it. I would never have made it this far… I’d just be another juvenile on the street if he hadn’t supported me.”

“Who?”

His eyes flickered, but Seokmin was still concentrated on the computer screen, so he turned back to look at the carpet designs. “…my cousin, Jihoon.”

“The terrifying miniature ex-prostitute?”

Soonyoung broke into a broad smile, nodding. “That one. I think from when I was born until the day I met him, I never met anybody like him. Nor since. Well, maybe Uncle Vernon, but in the end it was Jihoon who helped.”

“How?”

Soonyoung blinked, thinking about it. “I guess… he treated me right.”

“Were you treated wrong by your adoptive father?”

He shook his head. “No. But I think Dad… didn’t understand. I don’t think even I understood, but somehow, Jihoon understood me. He knew exactly what to say, how to say it. For the first time in a very long time, I felt like a human… and I felt like a boy. I wasn’t treated like a baby, and I didn’t have the responsibility of a man, but I was allowed to be my own age. I don’t know whether he knows how valuable that experience was for me. He got us our family dog, Charlie. When Charlie arrived, I wanted to design a doghouse for her… and when he saw the drawing, he wouldn’t let me be discouraged even for one day. He told me I could do anything – draw anything, create _anything_ if I wanted to. Every day, even if he were apart, he would text me to encourage me. If he hadn’t, I probably just would have squandered my means.”

Seokmin’s eyes on the screen rested, as if he stopped reading. “…he sounds like a good man, your cousin.”

The architect smiled warmly. “I think he is. When he thought my adoptive father had died, he immediately worked the system to adopt us. He… he’s the best person I know of. Maybe I should be more grateful.”

“Sounds like you’re more than grateful enough.”

“But I don’t think I show it to him enough. And my dad, too. I owe him plenty. He’s a good person, too.”

Seokmin turned, eyes softened slightly. “It must be nice to be surrounded by good people.”

Soonyoung nodded back happily. “They’re my family, now. When those people are by my side, I can forget all my hardships in this life. And no matter how much I love Jihoon and dad… most importantly, there’s my baby brother.”

Seokmin returned to reading. “Tell me about him.”

Soonyoung couldn’t contain the happiness on his face – his eyes twinkled and his smile reached from one corner to the other, radiating a happy kind of warmth. “Sam is… the most precious person in my life. He’s been my baby brother from the start. I remember the day he was born. My mom let me hold him and told me that a precious treasure had been born, and she wasn’t wrong. Even though we had a lot to bear as children, it didn’t seem to truly bother him. He was always able to smile at me, no matter what, and he tirelessly tried to make me laugh. Mom was right. He’s a very, very precious treasure. I… I guess, thinking back, I put my life on the line a lot for that person when we were younger. But I didn’t look at it that way. I just needed to protect my mother’s most… _my_ most precious person. I don’t tell him often enough, but sometimes Sam is the only reason I keep going. He’s my brother, and there isn’t anything he wouldn’t do for me, so… no matter what, if it’s for him, I’ll keep going. Keep working.”

Somewhere in between explaining why Samuel was so precious and what he looked like, Soonyoung fell asleep in his chair.

Seokmin looked over at the architect, with his head gently resting on the back of his chair, cheeks flushed. “Idiot,” he whispered, “who told you to keep talking until you fell asleep? If you were tired, you should have gone home.”

 

 

Soonyoung woke up on the couch in Seokmin’s office, curled under several extra blankets. The mafia boss himself was nowhere to be found, but sunlight was flooding in through tiny slits between the blinds. The room was warm, but deserted.

“Aw, crap,” he mumbled to himself, wiping his eyes as he sat up. It wasn’t for a few moments that he noticed the tall, lean young man on the other side of the room. “Oh. You were here?”

“Seokmin asked me to take care of you today.”

Soonyoung frowned in question.

“You don’t have class, right? We’re to go out for breakfast, and have a _day_ , as he calls it.” Jeonghan leaned forward on the back of the chair, sitting in it back-to-front. “What did you do here last night?”

The architect shrugged. “What do you _think_?”

The pretty man thought about it. “Seokmin never lets his lovers fall asleep after sex before him. Not even me. And I know for a fact he worked through the night.”

Soonyoung stretched a little. “Well, I didn’t fall asleep _right_ after the deed. I guess.”

“What did you do after?”

“Talked, I guess. Why?”

Jeonghan shrugged. “It’s just unusual is all. You hungry?”

Soonyoung gripped his stomach as it began to grumble a little. “Yeah, I need to sate the monster with some sacrificial offerings.”

Jeonghan snorted. “You’re interesting.”

Soonyoung rubbed his eyes again for a moment. “Mind if we swing by my place first? I need a shower.”

“Agreed.”

The two rode motorbikes side-by-side on the road: Jeonghan waited in the street while Soonyoung rushed up to his dormitory. With Mingyu already off to classes he scrubbed down in the shower quickly and changed his clothes before rushing down again. “I’m back.”

“Quick,” Jeonghan noted. “Why’s your hair still wet?”

“Uh… cause I just showered?”

Jeonghan gave him a measured look, sighing like an unhappy minister in a historical drama. “Next time, dry your hair properly before leaving your house. If Seokmin hears about this, I’ll never hear the end of it.”

Soonyoung placed his helmet. “How so?”

“Listen, this seems to be new to you, so let me give you a word of advice. Seokmin runs his enterprise like it’s the king’s palace. And we are the king’s men. Our sole responsibility outside of pleasing him is to keep our bodies clean, healthy, and ready for him. Walking around with wet hair is going to give you a cold, and if he catches you, don’t even think of escaping without punishment.”

Soonyoung pursed his lips. “That’s a bit much, isn’t it?”

Jeonghan played with his helmet in his hands. “Where do you want to eat? Seokmin gave me his black card, so pick anywhere.”

He shrugged. “McDonalds is as good a place as any for me, if it’s okay with you.”

“Fine with me.”

Soonyoung pulled a face as Jeonghan put his helmet on. _Have I ticked him off in some way? Who knows. I better make the daily offerings to the creature that is my stomach, or it’s gonna start eating me from the inside out._

After breakfast – which Jeonghan took great pride in by not participating in what he regarded as a ‘carbohydrate grease-fest’ – he simply led Soonyoung per bike.

“Where are we going?”

“A few places.”

Soonyoung was forced into a small, wood-panelled, vague-looking shop – Jeonghan had received strict instructions to get Soonyoung a ‘cool’ haircut, which was left up entirely to the hair stylist. Unfortunately for Soonyoung this meant a strong side shave with the popular curl at the front: an idea he wasn’t too pleased with but abided by because Jeonghan looked like he was about to turn into a lava monster with anger.

After the hairstyle came a completely new horror – Jeonghan had been instructed to _prepare Soonyoung’s body_ , and had scheduled a full-body wax, because that was what he called the ‘obvious interpretation’. Soonyoung argued, but he had no effect.

“I had to go through it, so will you. It’s not that bad. The asshole’s the worst.”

Jeonghan’s encouragement didn’t help.

Once Soonyoung had been stripped of his dignity, his self-respect and most of the hair on his body, he was allowed to sit with Jeonghan in a café, sipping expensive drinks.

“Feeling better yet?”

“No,” Soonyoung muttered sourly.

Jeonghan looked out the window a moment. “Seokmin probably thinks we’re going to end up friends or something. What a stupid idea.”

Soonyoung frowned a little. “How can you already hate me when you don’t know anything about me?”

Jeonghan turned to him and leaned in. “The King’s Palace is a good analogy for Seokmin’s group. You’ve heard it before, right? His word is law, he’s not to be disobeyed or appealed. As if he were the king by divine right. Well, in his palace, I’m his Queen. I was here first, and no matter how many other people he screws around with, I’m still here, and my place is the most secure. Nobody can take away my place. Even if he tries to give you a concubine status… even if it’s a concubine most loved by the king, a concubine still isn’t a queen. Do you get what I’m trying to say?”

Soonyoung held up both his palms. “Man, it ain’t that deep. I was muscled into working for him and one of the very few benefits is that I get laid. I ain’t trying to _muscle in_ on your position or anything. I’m just trying to live my life quietly, so don’t think of it like I’m trying to be anything more than just some guy who got in with the wrong group. Anyway, I’m still hoping you’re right and he’ll get tired of me, so that I can go back to living a normal life.”

Jeonghan looked at him for a long moment before changing – he grinned brightly, eyes shining. “I’m so glad that’s how you feel! If that’s the case then we should be good friends while you’re here. Right?”

The joy on Jeonghan’s face was entirely faked, and in its masquerade was absolutely terrifying, but Soonyoung tried not to let on, smiling back. “Right.”

“After all, in the end, in a King’s palace, it’s still a queen’s responsibility to make sure the King is happy, so for now let’s be friends. Where do you want to go after this? He told me to take you shopping.” With a bounce in his movement, Jeonghan began to play on his phone, lips dropping to drink from his straw. “Since he gave me his black card, let’s make sure to spend a lot of money, alright?”

Soonyoung paused. “Why should we spend a lot of money?”

“He won’t notice you if you don’t spend a lot, of course. Besides, when he gives out his black card, it means he wants you to buy lots of nice things, or he would give you a normal card. This has no limit on it, you know!”

Soonyoung pulled a face. “Still, it’s a waste of money if there’s nothing I want.”

Jeonghan looked at him. “Are you trying to tell me there’s nothing in this world you want to go shopping for? Even if you say something like that it won’t be enough. Seokmin _ordered_ me to take you shopping, and if he finds out you didn’t buy anything, I’m going to get into big trouble. Besides, I already know you’re a student, aren’t there supplies you need? And don’t take this the wrong way, but your clothes aren’t sufficient to see our boss in. How can you go in wearing clothes that are ratty and cheap?”

Soonyoung pursed his lips. “It’s not like they’ll be on my body for long if he has his way, anyway.”

“You’re missing the point. If you’re going to be his on the side, then at least wear clothes that make you look good. We’ll go past the good boutiques and pick you up some clothes. You should at least have a themed wardrobe, and ‘jeans-and-a-t-shirt’ isn’t a theme. So we’ll do that. Oh! And he told me to take you out shopping for toys, so we can’t forget to do that.”

Soonyoung scowled, confused. “Toys?”

They fell silent for a moment as Jeonghan tried to convey the meaning with his eyebrows alone. Eventually, he gave up. “Silicone ones that go up your ass and make you feel good.”

Soonyoung went red, all the way to the roots of his newly shorn haircut. “How can you say it like that in public?”

 

“I look ridiculous,” he hissed.

Jeonghan looked up. “No, you look good.”

“This cannot _possibly_ be a wardrobe theme,” Soonyoung reasoned.

Jeonghan looked him up and down a few moments, his face emotionless. “You have very meaty horse-thighs. Starting tomorrow you’re on a diet.”

“What’s that got to do with this ridiculous get-up?!” Soonyoung cried, turning in the changing room. “What am I even dressed in? You picked it out so you tell me!”

Jeonghan got up in a huff, throwing his magazine down: he turned Soonyoung back towards the mirror, standing behind him. “These are skinny jeans.”

“If they’re skinny jeans, shouldn’t they be on skinny people?”

“Stop interrupting.” Jeonghan’s hands slid down Soonyoung’s thighs. “They’re specifically made to outline your legs. Since you’re already tall, accentuating them is ideal. I know they’re tight, don’t even say it. You have a good body form and a good ass, so when you dress to accentuate that, Seokmin will like it. The shoes are just normal men’s boots, so don’t whine unless they’re the wrong size. The shirt is a dress shirt because Seokmin likes buttons, and he likes how white clothing becomes see-through when it’s wet. You have a skinny waist and a thick neck, and the tailor cut with the collar like this emphasizes that. The jacket gives it a polished look. It’s perfect casual wear.”

“ _Casual_.” Soonyoung almost fainted at the word. “Are you crazy?”

“We’re taking it,” Jeonghan muttered to the saleswoman near-by. “Since these are the right sizes, you won’t have to try anything else on, just let me go around the shop and pick up good items.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me. I look ridiculous!”

“Don’t whine.” Jeonghan clipped him on the back of the head lightly as he passed by. “Change back to your own clothes for now.”

After there was the travesty of Soonyoung’s new wardrobe, the two stopped for lunch. Soonyoung was half-way through his burger when he finally asked. “How did _you_ end up working for Seokmin, anyway?”

Jeonghan sipped his smoothie a moment. “I was working as an escort when… there was an incident. I was the best-paid escort in the district until some… second-rate, STD-filled, diseased BDSM hooker showed up and stole a client from me.” Jeonghan’s fingers clenched his cup, knuckles white. “When word got out that I’d lost a client to that piece of filth, it was the end. I couldn’t get any job anymore. Everybody disregarded me. I didn’t have even a grain of respect left. I let that kind of filth take away a job from me, so what good was I? I almost became destitute until Seokmin found me. I don’t think he even knew I was an escort back then. He just told me to get in the car, and the rest is history.”

Soonyoung frowned a little.

“That filthy hooker… he disappeared six months after stealing away my client. I’ve looked all over for him. I don’t know if he left the country but… the day I find him again…”

Suddenly the cap popped off the smoothie cup, Jeonghan’s entire body trembling with anger as his fist crumbled around the plastic. The look in his eyes was dangerous, almost tinging red, the set of his mouth promising the darkest of thoughts.

“He won’t live long. Not for as long as I have power in Seokmin’s group. That child won’t live. Just long enough to watch me take away everything they have and love, before I kill both of them. For what they did to me. Lee Jihoon… Choi Seungcheol… if either of them set foot in Seoul again… it’ll be the end for both of them.”

Soonyoung froze.

It took a few moments for Jeonghan to calm down: he placed his smoothie back on the table and cleared his throat lightly, flexing his hands a few times on the table before giving up a sheepish look. “Sorry, you were surprised, right? I’m not usually that temperamental, so don’t get the wrong idea. It’s a very real possibility, when you’re with Seokmin. That you can wield the power to get back at your enemies. Other than that, I don’t have any other enemies that stand in my way, so… well, just make sure you don’t become somebody in my path, either. So we’ll stay friends that way. Alright?”

Jeonghan looked at Soonyoung with an innocent, happy expression. The look made him feel a little sick. “Alright, Soonyoungie?”

Soonyoung cleared his throat, and tried to smile. “Absolutely, Jeonghannie.”


	7. Chapter 7

“I’m disappointed.”

Soonyoung cleared his throat a moment, pulling his conscious mind out of a doomsday scenario in which Jeonghan sent missiles to wipe Jeju island off the face of the planet. “…pardon?”

“I’m looking through what you bought today.” The clicks from Seokmin’s mouse seemed to echo in his office, further dragging Soonyoung back to reality. “Or at least, where you bought it. There’s your meals, your hair cut, some boutiques, school supplies, the porn shop… didn’t you do _anything_ fun?” The look he gave when he turned to Soonyoung was murderous.

“…I’m _sorry_?” Soonyoung choked. “Do you know how much Jeonghan spent on those clothes?”

“What’s fun about buying clothes? What’s fun about buying dildos I specifically asked you to get? Didn’t you spend _any_ money superfluously?”

Soonyoung pulled a confused, weird face. “You don’t think any of that was superfluous? What did you _want_ me to buy, a snowboard?”

Seokmin straightened instantly, turning back to his computer. “You like snowboarding? I’ll buy you one.”

“I’ve never touched a snowboard in my life, don’t you dare!” Soonyoung stood instantly, upset, his tone tight and offended. “What are you doing? Why do you feel the need to spend money needlessly? I didn’t need new clothes either but you insisted on dressing me like I’m your personal Ken doll.”

Seokmin smirked arrogantly. “Aren’t you my Ken doll?”

“No!”

Seokmin sighed, leaning in. “I like to spoil people. At least tell me of something you want. Do you want to live in a nicer apartment? Or a home cinema? At least let me buy you _something_ frivolous, something you don’t need.”

“Why?” he demanded.

“Because it’s fun.”

Soonyoung sighed and sat down again. “Fine, I’ll think about it.”

“I’ll wait.”

Soonyoung looked around the office. “Do you spend a lot of nights in here?”

“Don’t change the subject.”

He grimaced a while, thinking about it. “I guess… if it’s something I don’t _need_ , but would like…”

Seokmin inched forward over the desk. “Yes?”

“Then… it’s plane tickets.”

“…plane tickets?”

“To visit my family in Jeju. I haven’t seen them since I first came to Seoul, so… I guess, if you want to buy me something, it would be that.”

The right side of Seokmin’s mouth turned up and he nodded. “Aren’t you a filial child. Fine, I’ll buy you a return trip.”

It took Soonyoung a moment. “Did… did you really work through the night last night?”

Seokmin nodded once. “Why?”

“…it’s bad for your health…” Soonyoung pulled a face when Seokmin glared. “Don’t look at me like that! I can’t worry about my boss when he has unhealthy habits? Don’t forget if you fuck up and die, what’s going to happen to the rest of us? Instead of working all night, eat proper meals and go to bed on time.”

“What about you then?” came the steely, rock-hard reply. “If you’re so tired that you can fall asleep in mid-sentence, you should have gone home long before that! If you can’t even take care of yourself don’t lecture other people!”

“Whose fault was it that I wasn’t able to go home in the first place!” Soonyoung cried back. “Didn’t I try to leave directly after! But you told me to come in and sit down and keep you company! If...” Soonyoung looked away, dimming his voice. “If you ask me to keep you company, how can I just go home and leave you alone if you’re going to work all night… what kind of cold person do I have to be…”

Seokmin looked at him with a hard glare for a long moment, taking in the architect in front of him before standing up suddenly. “Drop your pants.”

“Wh-what?”

“Drop them. I’m going to jack you off, so be prepared.”

Soonyoung scowled at that, his scowl becoming greater when he was pulled up and backed up against a wall.

“What?” Seokmin demanded, glaring at him, jaw locked.

“…it’s just that… Everything’s still sensitive after the hair-removal Jeonghan forced me to have,” he mumbled, looking away. “And… even though it’s like this… I still haven’t been able to… for you, I mean.”

Seokmin laughed, half-mocking. “What?”

Soonyoung looked up to the man that had him pushed against the wall indignantly. “I can’t be the only one always receiving, that’s not fun. If we’re going to have sex, at least let me suck you off sometimes.”

Seokmin cradled Soonyoung’s face in one hand, demeanor suddenly softening, thumb running over his bottom lip. “Are you telling me to fuck your mouth? This mouth? With these small, plump lips of yours?”

Soonyoung went bright pink. “If you say it like that, it sounds ba-”

“Do it.”

“…pardon?”

“Whatever it is you want to do, do it if you dare. Just know that if I don’t feel satisfied in the end you’ll be punished.”

Soonyoung smiled a bit at that. “If you do feel satisfied, then next time you want to have sex, seduce me first instead of commanding me, alright?” He put both arms around Seokmin’s neck, smiling sweetly. “Deal?”

Seokmin leaned in, tilting his head until his lips were hovering over Soonyoung’s. “It’s a deal.”

Soonyoung rushed in to kiss him, first; it began sweet but soon turned. Seokmin’s tongue was dominant, and his hands both slid to Soonyoung’s waist to pull his shirt up. “Fucker,” he growled into Soonyoung’s mouth. “Turning me on like this…”

“Yes, daddy?” Soonyoung whispered back with a smirk, his fingers trailing to work on Seokmin’s pants. “Do you need something?”

Seokmin let a growl rip, gripping a fistful of Soonyoung’s hair to force him against the wall again. “Call me daddy again,” he murmured, jaw locked. “Go on. Say it.”

“Yes, _daddy_ ,” Soonyoung whispered, heat growing between his legs, stomach dropping with adrenaline.

“Don’t cry out to me like that,” he growled again, his fist tightening. “Don’t cry out to me with that slutty voice, don’t look away from me when you’re blushing, don’t admit so innocently that you want to suck me off. Do you know how much that pisses me off? How much I want to touch you when you’re like that? When you play coy, do you know how much I want make you moan?”

“Hng, _daddy_ ,” Soonyoung moaned again, letting his eyes slip closed for a moment. “But daddy, I’ve been so good, waiting for it… please let me suck it off?” He panted hard, looking down. “I want to…”

Slowly, _very_ slowly, Seokmin pulled both hands down, allowing Soonyoung to shift down against the wall. Keeping his hand in Soonyoung’s hair, he used the other to pull down his clothes before tilting Soonyoung’s head up. “Don’t cry out to me,” he rumbled, “don’t be innocent and slutty at the same time, don’t turn me on. Do you see how hard I am already? If you’re going to turn me on, take responsibility.”

Soonyoung’s fingers made him exhale shakily: the way he dragged them over Seokmin’s skin made him brace against the wall. “Good boy,” Seokmin whispered.

Soonyoung’s eyes refocused – Seokmin’s cock simply sat there, huge, hard and throbbing between his fingers. He leaned in slowly – all the slower knowing that Seokmin was watching him – to place his tongue against the base of his cock, sliding it up to the tip slowly.

“ _Soonyoung_ ,” he sighed.

Soonyoung pressed his lips against the tip as he answered, letting them slide over it. “Yes daddy?”

Seokmin’s eyes fell shut for a moment as Soonyoung leaned forward, sucking softly on the very tip of his cock. The sensation was hot and soft and wet, so incredibly _good_ \- and then there was his tongue, licking delicately and slowly – it was enough to drive him crazy.

“Be a good boy for daddy,” he managed to cram out. “Make daddy want to cum down your throat.”

Soonyoung swooped down, instantly engulfing Seokmin’s cock to the hilt in one go before slowly pulling back, allowing the sensation to agonize his employer. Breathing steadily, he made sure to suck harshly on the tip before slowly moving forward to take it in again, fingers playing on Seokmin’s thighs. He wasn’t sure why he was enjoying sucking cock _so_ much, but it was incredibly enjoyable to hear Seokmin lose his sanity above.

“Faster,” Seokmin commanded, his voice tight. “Make daddy cum faster, baby.”

So Soonyoung went faster, moving up and down so fast it made his lips tingle, applying pressure and moaning a little from the bottom of his throat as he went.

It all happened very suddenly; Seokmin’s knees went a little weak, and his hips began to buck up against Soonyoung’s mouth errantly.

“ _Soonyoung_.”

And then suddenly his mouth was full – Seokmin burst forth in gushes, choking Soonyoung slightly as he tried to gulp it all down.

Seokmin crouched almost instantly, both hands cradling the boy’s dazed face carefully. “Soonyoung, Soonyoung. Are you alright?”

When the architect finally managed to swallow – hard – and look up, the look in his eyes was glassy at best. “Y-yes?”

Seokmin closed his eyes for a moment before turning around and cleaning himself up before finding his wipes and handing them to Soonyoung. “You’ve got cum and spit all over your face. Clean up.”

It took a few moments but eventually Soonyoung sighed and cleaned his face with a few wipes, standing shakily, automatically swiping for the tums in his pocket. He had downed two before Seokmin even looked up.

“There’s a bathroom through that door, there’s a spare toothbrush if you need it.”

Soonyoung just marched, still dazed, to the bathroom. He didn’t bother locking it, brushing his teeth before moving to a shower cubicle that had been installed.

A fierce voice came from the other side of the door. “You had better not be jacking off in there!” Seokmin rushed in instantly, glaring at Soonyoung in the cubicle, cock in hand. “What do you think you’re doing?”

Soonyoung froze. “Uh…”

Seokmin rushed forward, pulling Soonyoung in for a moment, hands warm on his back. “You think you’re allowed to come without me?”

“Well you weren’t going to!”

“Says who?” Seokmin leaned in to kiss Soonyoung briefly. “Turn around.”

“W-what?”

“Turn around.”

Soonyoung turned, and allowed himself to be handled: Seokmin pulled a strong arm around the student’s waist, pulling their bodies together, his free hand taking hold of Soonyoung’s cock. He ran his fingers up and down slowly, kissing Soonyoung’s temple a moment. “I’m going to jack you off,” he whispered, “and you’re going to come properly, in my arms, the way you’re supposed to. Do you hear me, baby?”

Seokmin’s hand became firm, dragging up and down harshly, and Soonyoung moaned, his whole body jerking to the rhythm of Seokmin’s hand.

“Good boy,” he whispered lowly. “Does it feel good?”

The only reply Soonyoung could make was a pathetic mewl, his body jerking without consent.

Seokmin’s lips dragged over Soonyoung’s skin, worrying a little on his ear. “Go on,” he growled. “Come in my hand.”

Soonyoung obeyed, crying out Seokmin’s name like a holy chant.

 

“…are you very tired?”

Soonyoung shrugged. “A little.”

“If it’s alright, stay.” Seokmin looked at him with careful eyes before turning away. “I’m starving, let’s order in some pizza.”

“I can’t eat pizza.”

“Why not?”

Soonyoung looked away. “I promised Jeonghan I’d stick to his diet properly.”

Seokmin’s sudden glare practically burned his skin. “Why are you dieting?”

“Jeonghan says my thighs are too fat.”

A moment of silence passed, but before Soonyoung could look up, Seokmin’s fist bore down on his desk so hard, the student almost leapt a mile in the air. The man’s face was hard, jaw set, eyes glaring. His entire frame trembled with anger, leaning down on the first on the table. “What. Did. You. Just. Say?”

“…Jeonghan… said my… thighs… are too fat?”

Seokmin leaned over his bureau to grip Soonyoung by the collar, pulling him out of his chair. “Don’t you dare,” he glowered, “lose a single _inch_ off those thighs, do I make myself clear? If you lose weight, don’t expect me to go easy on you. Do you understand? You diet for even one day to lose weight and I won’t be merciful.”

Soonyoung looked up in surprise. “Uh… yes sir?”

Seokmin let him go.

“Jeonghan will scold me though…”

“I’ll talk to Jeonghan, so don’t even think of worrying about it. I’m ordering pizza, and you have to eat it, understand?”

“Yes sir.” Soonyoung turned, curling up on his chair again. “Make mine four-cheese.”

“That sounds more like it.” Seokmin spent a few minutes tapping on his phone before setting it aside, turning to Soonyoung to look him up and down for a while. Long enough to make Soonyoung comfortable, but also unwavering enough to make him not want to ask.

“Are you always like this?”

Soonyoung blinked. “What?”

“Are you always so mild after…?”

“After I’m milked dry?” Soonyoung shrugged a little, popping an antacid into his mouth with ease as the queasy feeling in his stomach raged harshly. “I guess.”

Seokmin huffed annoyedly, throwing both hands in the air and sitting back. “I’m going to go crazy.”

The architect looked up innocently. “What? What did I do?”

He pointed. “Everybody around me seems to be taking those things non-stop. Did I casually employ every heart-burn sufferer in Seoul?”

Soonyoung stared at the box of antacids in his hand for a moment, wide-eyed. “…I’m sorry,” he mumbled in a small voice, “I didn’t mean… why are you yelling at me? I… just…”

The reply had been forced to be a little softer. “I’m just… curious, I guess. Why everybody has them.”

Soonyoung tucked his head in a little, physically shying away. “I just…”

“…are you… what are you doing?”

“What?”

“Why are you acting like that?” Seokmin frowned. “Are you… scared of me?”

Soonyoung didn’t respond.

“Soonyoungie.” His voice was now softer than a kitten’s purr. “Please tell me why everybody is eating antacids.”

Soonyoung couldn’t look him in the eye. “It’s cause… when you use people like disposable dildos, it makes people feel sick.”

They both fell into silence after that: Soonyoung curled up sideways in his chair, Seokmin leaning on his desk, staring into space as he mulled that statement over. It took a long while before he could answer. “I… did not… realize,” he said hesitantly, “that it was perceived as such.”

Soonyoung shrugged with a degree of blasé uncommon even for him. “I even puked after the first time, but it’s no biggie, don’t worry about it. You’re the boss, after all.”

“No,” Seokmin answered immediately, dragging out the sounds a little as he was thinking. “The way I fuck you is unsatisfactory. To the point where it makes you feel sick, and it makes others feel sick, as well.”

“That’s not what I said-”

“That’s exactly what you said. Fucking around with me makes you sick to your stomach and you have to self-medicate every time you come here.” The words stung, but not with lies, so Soonyoung couldn’t even mount a defence. “Am I that unattractive?”

“…no?”

“Do you feel unsatisfied post-orgasm?”

“It’s not that.”

“Then what is it?”

They were interrupted by a knock on the door: Seokmin growled a little, annoyed, but placed a wad of cash in the delivery boy’s hand and dismissed him without another thought. He threw the pizza boxes on the desk and stood in front of the small lump that was Soonyoung, arms folded. “Soonyoung, what is it about this that makes you so sick? Do you hate me?”

The student shook his head, burying his face in his arms for a moment. “It’s not important. You’re the boss anyway, right? You have the right to do it as you like. You’re even paying me for it so I shouldn’t have said anything.”

Seokmin’s tone became a little tighter. “I thought you specified that you were to be paid for the menial jobs and not the sex?”

“Oh give up and call a spade a spade,” Soonyoung mumbled. “In the end I’m nothing more than a hooker on call, right?”

“Soonyoung, answer the damn question. Why does it make you sick to-”

“It _doesn’t_!” he tried to whine back, covering his face with both hands. “But it’s not like you have sex like a normal person.”

“…I’m sorry? I’m pretty sure the necessary parts happened.”

“ _After_. And before, but mostly after. You’re different.”

“In what way?”

“The pizza’s getting cold, I’m hungr-”

Seokmin’s fist slammed on the pizza boxes, making Soonyoung retract the hand that was reaching for them. “In. What. Way?”

Soonyoung’s mouth twitched in a moment. “Most people are… softer. More… caring. About their partner. Things like kissing them gently and taking care of them and holding them… but it’s not like it’s having sex in a relationship so it doesn’t matter!”

The silence was deafening – Soonyoung could hear his own heart beating more intensely with each moment passing.

Slowly – very slowly – Seokmin bent over and placed his hand on Soonyoung’s hair, gently sliding it until he was cradling the man’s face in his hand. He looked up from between suspiciously long eyelashes for a moment. “I’m sorry,” he said gently, “I didn’t know I was so cold.”

Soonyoung twitched, unable to look away. “H-how could you not know…”

Seokmin leaned in, gently pressing a kiss against Soonyoung’s forehead: he placed another on his nose, and then kissed him sweetly on the lips. “I’m not good at caring for other people,” he said carefully, “so I’m sorry. But I can kiss you and hold you, if you like.”

Soonyoung rolled his eyes and looked away. “Never mind.”

“What? What’s wrong?”

“It’s not worth it, if you have to force yourself. Can I just have my pizza now, please?”

Seokmin deliberated for a moment before shaking his head. “No.”

“But-”

Seokmin pulled Soonyoung out of his seat and around the desk: he then promptly sat in his chair and pulled Soonyoung to sit in his lap, pulling his arms around the boy’s waist.

“What-”

“Now you can eat.” Seokmin rested his chin on this employee’s shoulder. “Make sure to feed me too, alright?”

 

When Soonyoung got home that night, he spent thirty minutes with his head in the toilet, puking his pizza up. 

He would never tell Seokmin, but the only thing worse than Seokmin affirming that he was a disposable sex toy, was Seokmin pretending that he was special.


	8. Chapter 8

“Hey Jeonghan do you still have the- oh good God!”

Jeonghan pulled away for a moment, either hand wrapped around a cock: he sat kneeling in between two _huge_ men, obviously some of Seokmin’s bodyguards or muscle-men, and both of them had their pants pooling around their ankles.

The long-haired man smiled pleasantly at the surprised boy in the doorway. “Soonyoungie! Want to join us? I’m on a roll.”

Soonyoung, flustered, red-faced and utterly befuddled, got caught in between phrases. He wasn’t sure if _No thanks I’m good,_ was what he wanted to say, or just _Goodbye, sorry for disturbing_ or _What the fuck are you doing_ – so in the end he managed only a convoluted stammer. “Good sorry fuck I’m bye!”

The door made an awfully loud _slamming_ noise that was almost deafening: Soonyoung just stood, staring down the hallway, horrified and slightly traumatized. It was one thing to be a sexual toy to a mafia boss, but it was something entirely else to walk in on somebody else servicing two bodyguards at the same time and _invite him to join_.

Soonyoung made good use of his antacids on the spot when suddenly, from the other side of the door, a low moaning started up. Then he legged it _real_ quick.

 

“You look a little sick,” Mingyu commented. “I thought you were off sucking your boss’ gilded dick tonight? What happened?”

Soonyoung glared from inside the blanket burrito he had constructed around himself. He dipped his head into a paper bag that sat between his pecks and filled his mouth with popcorn before answering. “I saw things,” he said, deepening his voice for extra effect. “Terrible, bad things.”

Mingyu thought about that for a moment. “Well, you’ve been working there for three weeks already, and it _is_ the mafia. Can’t say I’m surprised.”

Soonyoung shuddered a little – what little room there _was_ to shudder in his man-made cocoon – and looked up. “What you got there?”

“Fried chicken,” Mingyu crowed cheerfully, setting all three bags on the table. “Hot and yummy. The ahjussi even gave me a free sauce!”

Soonyoung sat up a little. “You can’t buy fried chicken! Where did you get the money to be buying that much fried chicken?!”

Mingyu looked at him. “You get paid tomorrow. You told me so yourself. So I spent a little extra as a celebration.”

Soonyoung looked at the bags in vague distress. “Mingyu, you’ve bought enough here to cover our utility bill! I don’t even know _how much_ I’m going to be paid – this was entirely reckless!”

Mingyu cringed a little, turning to a sad pout. “…I didn’t think of that. I’m… I’m sorry, hyung… I-I just wanted to buy you something nice… last time you even said you’d just have rice so that I could have the last of the ramen and wouldn’t have to split it, so I wanted to buy you something good…”

Soonyoung sighed, pursing his lips a little. “…I guess it’s alright. It will probably cover the cost of the chicken, so it’s not so bad but… please think a little more in the future. I’m glad you thought of me. Thanks, Mingyu.”

The giant in the middle of the room looked like he was a scolded ten-year-old.

“Anyway, it’s not like we can bring it back, so let’s eat well.” Like a worm in its cocoon, Soonyoung slung the leg-portion of his Soonyoung Burrito – a SoonRito – over the couch and leaned in. “It smells good.”

Mingyu brightened considerably. “How are you going to get out of that?”

Soonyoung dipped his head, taking a small piece of fabric between his teeth: with a simple tug, his entire bindings came away, several clothes pegs and hangers dropping to the ground. The near-empty popcorn bag was caught deftly before its contents could spill over the floor.

“Wow.”

“I’m an architect. I study how to build cool things in neat ways. Sit down, I’ll grab drinks.”

Mingyu started opening up the boxes of chicken while his friend was in the kitchen. “Hey, if you were supposed to be with Al Capone tonight, how’d you get out of it? You told me he gets pissed off if you disobey him.”

“Told him I was sick.”

“It worked?”

“Not at first, until I gave him a disconcerting and extremely graphic mental image of what it would be like if I threw up on his dick.”

Mingyu grinned to himself. “What did he say to _that_?”

“ _Seen at 19:43,_ ” Soonyoung grinned back, returning to the table. “Oh shit, it smells good. You did well, Gyugyu!”

Mingyu grinned and threw his arms around his friend. “Thank you for not being angry hyung!”

Soonyoung rolled his eyes a little. “Yeah, yeah, you overgrown Saint Bernard.”

“ _Woof woof!_ ”

“Yeah, yeah.”

 

“I expect you to take better care of your health,” Seokmin glowered, “than to get sick so easily. Take vitamin supplements and wear enough warm clothing. The weather’s turning cold so at least invest in a scarf and hat or something.”

“Yessir,” Soonyoung sighed a little.

Seokmin glared for a while longer. “Your shoulders are tense. Don’t look at me like that, I didn’t call you in to fuck. I just wanted some company is all.”

“Oh.”

“You could afford to relax around me,” the man grumbled as Soonyoung took a seat leisurely. “My fingers have been up your ass that many times that you should be more comfortable.”

“Or less,” the architect added. “Depends on how you see it.”

“Boring.”

“Aren’t I always?” Soonyoung grinned shamelessly, turning to swing his legs over the arm of the chair like a regular street student. “Hey Seokmin, I have a question.”

“Shoot.” The man put down his paper to look up, folding his hands on top: it was a habit by now, Soonyoung understood, but one that made him slightly more powerful looking.

“Jeonghan and I and… are there others?”

“Nope.”

“Then, Jeonghan and I – we’re specifically forbidden from having sex with other people?”

One of Seokmin’s eyebrows rose: the look on his face somehow became sharper, and angrier. “You absolutely, under no circumstances, are allowed to be with somebody else without my expressed permission. Don’t even _think_ of letting another man touch you that’s not me. Do I make myself clear?”

“Oh, yeah-yeah, whatever. There’s nobody that wants me anyway.” Soonyoung waved a hand in the air non-committedly.

 “I’m sure that’s not true. _I_ want you.”

“I thought you didn’t call me in for sex?”

“I didn’t, but that doesn’t mean I don’t think about fucking you a great deal.”

Soonyoung pursed his lips, looking away. “Anyway, I wasn’t thinking about _me_.”

Seokmin frowned a moment before his expression cleared a little: he was no longer angry, but seemed mostly… disappointed? “You mean Jeonghan.”

Soonyoung nodded slowly, expressly not looking at his boss.

“Caught one of his antics, did you?”

“ _Antics_ is a… _nice_ way of putting it.”

Seokmin sighed a little, leaning back into his chair. “Why does this man always give me such trouble? I wonder if Jeonghan means to see me to an early grave.”

Soonyoung wondered – often, but now especially – if he told Seokmin that Jeonghan wanted to see his cousin and father in early graves, whether it would have any effect. Whether Seokmin liked him enough to try and protect Soonyoung’s family, or whether he would just tell him that was the way it worked in the mafia.

He decided against. For now.

“Technically, Jeonghan is supposed to stay faithful to me, and me alone. He just… takes the meaning of the word _faithful_ rather liberally.”

“And you turn a blind eye.”

The man shrugged, arms wide. “What can I do? I can’t keep tabs on the man 24/7, can I? Besides, Jeonghan’s used to having more than one person to… well. He’s a wild creature. I couldn’t reign him in if I tried. So as long as he still comes when I call him, I can turn a blind eye.”

Soonyoung sniffed a moment, thinking about it. “Man, y’all are gonna die of syphilis or something.”

“I am perfectly aware of the health benefits to condoms and use them readily, thank you very much, Mr. Kwon Soonyoung.”

Soonyoung pouted cutely before leaning back comfortably. “Fine, your _guys_ are gonna die of syphilis. Anyway if you turn a blind eye to Jeonghan then why can’t you do so with me if I wanna be with somebody-”

“I said no, that’s the end of it.” The look Seokmin gave him might have murdered a weaker man. “Kwon Soonyoung, you belong to _me_. Everything. Every hair on your head, every spot on your skin, your pink cock, your thighs, your perky ass, it all belongs to _me_. If you let somebody else touch you, that person’s life is forfeit. I’m not funny when I’m jealous so just remember that.”

Soonyoung shuddered a bit, but it wasn’t a good shudder. It was cold running down his spine.

“Sir.” Minghao knocked twice before entering, eyes firmly planted on his clipboard. “You told me to come in immediately if they found him.”

Seokmin rolled his eyes a little. “Everybody is clothed, Minghao.”

The man looked up tentatively, then smiled warmly. “They’re on their way.”

“Excellent.” Seokmin stood, brushing down his suit. “Soonyoung, you…” He looked at Soonyoung for a long moment. “Minghao, do me a favor and take Soonyoung out for coffee.”

It took the man a moment. “At seven PM, sir?”

“Dinner, then. Just take him. Soonyoung, you’re dismissed.”

The young architect was already pocketing his antacids. Even though there had been no sexual activity, the way Seokmin brooded over him like he was a meal was disconcerting at best. “Okay. Minghao! Where are we going?”

Minghao pulled him out of the room after receiving a look from Seokmin, his grip hard. “Here. Hurry.”

“What?”

“Shush.” Minghao pulled him towards the elevator, hitting the button several times. “Come on, come on, come on,” he whispered, glaring at the lights above the door. “Don’t go all the way – don’t tell me they’re-”

The elevator doors opened and to Minghao’s dismay, four people walked out. Two were tall, broad-shouldered muscle-men; one in the back was small but uninteresting, but the man in the middle was obviously what their ensemble was about.

He was skinny and pale – not a pretty pale, but a sickly color. He wore thin framed glasses and was hugging a suitcase to his chest like it was his very life force. He was shaking from head to toe, eyes darting everywhere. He saw Minghao and cringed away; he clocked Soonyoung and gasped a little, jerking towards him shadily. “Sir! Sir please I just-”

One of the men pulled the skittish man away at the same time Minghao urged Soonyoung into the elevator.

“What was that about?” Soonyoung cringed. “It seemed serious.”

“It was nothing.” Minghao straightened out his shirt. “Where do you want to eat?”

Before Soonyoung could answer, his stomach did so for him: loudly and embarrassingly. They laughed and Soonyoung opted for KFC – because fried chicken was a difficult thing to have just once.

“Did you get paid yet?”

“I don’t know, I haven’t checked.” Soonyoung looked up at the menu as they stood in the queue. “It’s supposed to be today, right?”

“Yeah, it should have gone through by now, since he moved you up on the list. I think the boss is a little anxious to keep you.” Minghao nudged him good-naturedly, a wolfish grin on his face. “I think the Storm God likes you.”

Soonyoung pursed his lips a little. “I doubt that, with the looks he gives me. Wait, _Storm God?_ ”

“You haven’t heard it?” Minghao leaned in a little. “They say he’s a god of storms, thunder and lightning. Whenever there’s a storm, he _disappears_ into thin smoke, without a trace. Then when it’s over he’s sitting there in his chair like nothing ever happened.”

“…have you ever considered he might just be at the bathroom?”

“I’m telling you, he’s _nowhere_ to be found. It’s become a huge myth and mystery. That’s how he first rose to prominence amongst all the leaders in Seoul.”

Soonyoung rolled his eyes a little. “Well, if you say so. Still, he looks at me scary. Like he’ll kill me just as easily as anything else.”

“Oh, I don’t know, he’s like that a lot. I really think he likes you though, you’ve been with us for a while. You’ll be giving Jeonghan a run for his money.”

Soonyoung clapped a hand over Minghao’s mouth. “Shhh! Don’t say things like that! Jeonghan’s scary enough as is, I don’t need him seeing me as competition.”

Minghao just smirked.

 

“Soonyoung.”

“Seokmin.”

The man looked up, as if weighing up options in his mind. He rested his chin on folded hands, looking him up and down. “The new clothes.”

Soonyoung looked down at the skin-tight latex pants and ripped black jumper ensemble. He'd already been in his own apartment, undressed, when Seokmin called him out, so he'd simply grabbed the first items out of his wardrobe to throw on. “Uh, yeah.”

Seokmin stood, walked around his desk and stood in front of his employee for a few moments before holding out his hand, pointing at the floor. He slowly rotated his finger. “Turn.”

Soonyoung twirled.

“Slower, fool.”

He pursed his lips but turned slower, a few times before he stopped.

“Take it off.”

“You don’t like it?” Soonyoung couldn’t hide his disappointment as he looked down, turning a little. “I thought my butt looked really good in these, I kind of liked this-”

Seokmin’s hands gripped around the man’s thighs with no uncertainty, pulling him in. His eyes were dark, and looked up with certain intent. “I said, take it off,” he whispered, leaning in to press a single kiss to Soonyoung’s lips. “I’m going to defile you, inch by inch.”

Soonyoung’s throat went a little dry as he was pulled up against Seokmin’s body.

“I’m going to take your body, run my fingers down it and make you _moan_ ,” he whispered, slowly moving to nibble on Soonyoung’s lobe. “I’m going to fuck you slow today, take my time looking at this precious body.”

Soonyoung almost lost his will to struggle. _Almost._ Just as his eyes were closing, they opened again.

Seokmin noticed the freeze in his stance. “Soonyoung?”

“…what’s that?”

“What’s what?” Seokmin turned to see what his employee could see.

Soonyoung just stepped away to crouch down by the wardrobe, pressing his fingers up against the marks on the wood. It came away, wet. He stood up, shaking slightly. “Seokmin?”

No answer.

“It’s, uh, it’s paint, right? Seokmin? This is just-”

“Damn it, man, it’s blood.” Seokmin’s face was stony, brows furrowed. “I thought they cleaned it all. I’ll get somebody in to clean it later, don’t worry about it.”

Soonyoung smelled it, his clean hand automatically digging for his antacids. As he chewed down on it, Seokmin used a wipe to gently clean the architect’s fingers.

“Don’t freak out, it’s just some blood. There.” He ducked his head to place a kiss on the inside of Soonyoung’s palm – probably in an attempt to comfort the boy, though it had a rather unsettling effect – and disposed of the wipe easily. “We can move to a different room if you want.”

“I, uh.” Soonyoung took a hesitant step back, mind frozen. He couldn’t even make words come out. All he could do was stare in horror at the blood flecks on the wardrobe.

Seokmin sighed – a deep, frustrated sigh. “Are you always this incredibly vanilla?” he uttered, irritated. “How are you so soft? So mild? It’s blood, Soonyoung. This is the mafia. I shot the fucker. Alright? And there, I thought telling you to leave during would save you. I knew you’d react like this.”

Soonyoung’s hands shook in front of him as he turned to stare at Seokmin in horror.

The man was upset – not just a little, but a lot. Annoyed and upset. “What the hell is _wrong_ with you, Soonyoung?! Grow up and start living in the real world!”

“You _killed_ him?” he breathed, mortified. All he could see was the face of the agitated man stepping out of the elevator, quivering. Terrified. Begging Soonyoung to save him. “ _Killed_ …?”

“Yes! Yes, I punched him for a while then I blew his brains out! What is the big _deal_? I’m the head of the _mafia_ , Soonyoung, you’d better start getting used to it, stop being such a baby! You’re going to have to get used to it!”

A moment passed.

“Soonyoung?” Seokmin’s anger seemed a little subdued, replaced by surprise and something else that was hard to describe. “Soonyoung, are… are you… Soonyoung? Soonyoung!”

The student had turned and rushed out the door before anybody could have stopped him: he was down in the street, revving the engine of his motorbike before anybody could have really realized what was happening. Seokmin, for sure, had never seen anybody ever run that quickly in his life.

On the carpet where Soonyoung had been standing there were three dark spots, where his tears had fallen.

“Minghao.”

“Yes, sir?” The man tentatively poked his head in the door.

Seokmin turned to the window, staring down at the street, at the place where Soonyoung had disappeared. “Get the cleaning team in here again,” he commanded softly. “They missed a spot.”

“Right away sir.” Minghao bridled. “Sir? What do you want me to do about Soonyoung? Should we-”

Seokmin just held up the back of his hand. “Don’t bother,” he said gently. “Just let him go.”


	9. Chapter 9

Mingyu had been holding Soonyoung in his arms for the better part of an hour already, and he still wasn’t really back to the normal. He’d stopped crying, thank God, but his face was a sleepy mixture of disappointment, pain and misery: bloated and bright red. Mingyu just held him closer, tucking his best friend’s head under his chin. “There, there,” he cooed for the umpteenth time. “It’s alright, Soonie. It’s alright. You’ll get through this.”

Soonyoung just closed his eyes. “I’m an idiot,” he whispered – his first coherent words of the evening. “And a fool, and an even bigger idiot. What did I get myself into, Gyu? I’ve done terrible things.”

“No, you haven’t. We all make mistakes, Soonie. Don’t worry.”

“What am I going to do?”

He thought about it. “A hot shower and some ice-cream?”

Soonyoung gave a half-hearted chuckle, nodding a little. “Good start.”

“I know, right? After that we can watch Oberyn Martell and Gregor Clegane hack away at each other, if you like.”

Soonyoung winced, curling further into Mingyu’s chest. “No violence.”

“…we can always watch the Tiggr Movie.”

The man nodded quickly.

“More acceptable?”

“M-hm.”

“Listen, you go take a shower and I’ll pop some popcorn, alright?”

Soonyoung sniffed a little. “You’re the best, Kim Mingyu.”

“I know,” the giant grinned back.

 

 

[Seokmin] _Soonyoung, come to the office today._

[Soonyoung] _I don’t think I can._

[Seokmin] _What do you mean, don’t think you can? You still work for me, don’t you?_

[Soonyoung] _I don’t think I can._

[Seokmin] _If it’s just stuff like blood again, I promise I’ll make sure it’s properly cleaned next time before I ask you to come over. Everything’s fine now, so come over._

[Soonyoung] _I don’t think I can._

[Seokmin] _What’s with the monotone answers?_

[Soonyoung] _I just can’t anymore. I’m sorry. I’ll pay you back whatever it is you paid me as soon as possible, so please don’t expect me to come around anymore._

[Seokmin] _Soonyoung, don’t be ridiculous. First of all, what I paid you was fair for the work you did, so don’t try to pay it back when it’s rightfully yours. Besides, it would take you years to pay it back. Stop this nonsense and come to the office so I can make it up to you._

[Soonyoung] _I resign. I don’t want to work for you anymore. I’ll protect my family by myself so please don’t expect me to come back anymore._

[Seokmin] _Soonyoung… don’t do this. I already miss you. Whatever it is, we can sort it out._

[Soonyoung] _No, we can’t. Because in the end, you’re still the mafia that kills people, and I’m still just a disposable sex toy to you, so no matter what, it’s fucked up. I don’t want to do this anymore. I want to lead a normal life, and have a normal relationship with somebody I like, so don’t be like this anymore._

[Seokmin] _Soonyoung, I’ve never had a member of my company voluntarily leave me like this. Don’t do it._

[Soonyoung] _I’m blocking your number now. Goodbye._

 

He simply sat at his desk. Minghao sat with him. There was a very uneasy silence between them: Seokmin was lost in the deepest rivets of his mind, and Minghao simply shuffled awkwardly on his chair, uneasy in the atmosphere.

He was just _gone_. Seokmin didn’t think it would affect him _this_ badly – he hadn’t thought it would be this awful to have him gone. People came and went like the rain, and he was used to that, but this was different. This left a void. Where Soonyoung had once stood there was now empty air.

Seokmin could only think of the night Soonyoung had fallen asleep in his chair. The day after. When he admitted so softly, so _sweetly_ , that he couldn’t go home if his boss was going to work all through the night. Soonyoung was simply that type of person, he had realized. Even if he was employed in a position that didn’t suit him, he still had that type of integrity. The way he’d pouted about it too, like he had felt guilty that he fell asleep in the first place – who could have resisted that face?

He should have let Soonyoung go then, when he realized how delicate he was. How kind and soft and loyal. Kind, soft people shouldn’t be part of the mafia. But the threat to Soonyoung was real – the White Snakes definitely had had him on a watchlist, and so did the Black Bars. Real enough, Seokmin had then reasoned, to keep Soonyoung close.

No more.

He could still feel Soonyoung’s skin under his hands, smell the light scent of shampoo in his hair, he could feel the warmth pulsating in his neck.

“Call Soonyoung.”

“Yes, si-”

“No. Don’t.” Seokmin simply clasped his eyes shut and leaned back in his chair, pinching the bridge of his nose. This was ridiculous. He was a hardened criminal. He shouldn’t be this caught up over some dumb architect. And that was final.

“…fetch me Yoon Jeonghan.”

 

Soonyoung stared at his online banking service with a certain lack of comprehension. The amount of money that had recently been transferred to his bank account wasn’t entirely making sense, because he wasn’t entirely sure that there was that much money in the _Republic of Korea, a state in its own right,_ never mind the mafia of one faction of Seoul.

Okay, well maybe that was an exaggeration. But this was an nine-digit number. He wouldn’t have to worry about paying his rent, bills and groceries until the end of the school year with what was in his account.

“Mingyu, come here. Read this number out to me. I – I don’t think it’s right.”

Mingyu ducked in front of the laptop and choked on the piece of kimbap he was eating. It took him a few moments of hacking and coughing to regain the ability to breathe. “Dude,” he mumbled, “the Godfather is _rich as fuck._ Dude, go back to him. You could make a killing in a year.”

Soonyoung elbowed him a little. “Shush. And his name is Vito Don Corleone.”

“…so, the Godfather.”

He rolled his eyes.

“I guess that chicken the other night wasn’t so bad, huh?”

“No, guess not.” Soonyoung sighed a little, confused. “But I _will_ have to get another job, eventually.”

“No rush, that’s plenty of money, man.”

“Yeah, guess so.”

“If you really want to work, I think you’ve got a real propensity for gigolo work.”

“Do you want to die, Kim Mingyu?”

The giant thought about it. “I’m good.”

 

“Man, you dicked up.” The stress in his voice was clear and a little distraught. “Not just for yourself, but for all of us.”

“What do you mean, for myself?” Soonyoung’s fingers dropped the pencil they were holding onto the sketch. “It’s been ten days and I’m living. I haven’t had any goons around to the apartment, either, nobody’s bothered me.”

“Okay, so _you’re_ living the high life – congratulations!” Minghao really sounded upset. “ _My_ life is actually hell thanks to you!”

“What did _I_ do to your life?”

“Have you any idea how unsatisfying it is to life with this man after you dumped him?”

Soonyoung held up a hand, even though he knew Minghao couldn’t see it. “Hey now, I didn’t dump him, we weren’t boyfriends, you know. He employed me to suck dick, and I got tired of it.”

“Call it what you will, this isn’t fun!”

“It can’t be that bad, and I _highly_ doubt it’s because I’m gone.”

“It’s because you’re gone!” Minghao’s voice almost disappeared entirely under the strain of his stress. “About six times a day he tells me _go get Soonyoung and bring him here_ and another six times he goes _no, no wait don’t do that_ and then it’s _text Soonyoung this_ and then _no wait don’t_ – he’s like a schoolgirl.”

“With all respect, Minghao, I don’t believe you.”

He could practically _hear_ the man glaring at him through the phone, and it was hilarious. “I hate you, Kwon Soonyoung.”

“I know,” Soonyoung grinned. “But listen – lunch?”

“Tomorrow, we can meet in the city center at one. You’re buying me coffee to make up for my misery at work.”

“Sure.”

“Hey, how come you’re still okay with coming out to lunch with me, but you dump the Storm God cause he’s mafia?”

“When was the last time you murdered a man?”

The feeble answer came after a short pause. “I just do the paperwork, man.”

“Exactly.” Soonyoung smiled. “Besides, I’ve gotten used to your ugly face, so I’ll miss if you if you’re not around. I’ll see you tomorrow, loser.”

 

Minghao flopped down in the seat opposite his friend, haggard-looking; his skin had become dull and he carried dark circles under his eyes.

“Good afternoon,” Soonyoung said carefully, putting his cup back on the table.

“You’re making my life so difficult.” Minghao’s head lolled to give the boy an annoyed look. “Please can’t you just come back? Do you know how much you’re making me suffer? For somebody who says he’ll miss his good friend, how can you be this heartless?”

Soonyoung glanced at the waitress on her way over. “One coffee,”  he mumbled, glancing at Minghao. “Large. Black. Extra caffeine, if you have it.”

Minghao made a sound. It was not a positive sound. It was more of a grunt of complete misery. “Soonyoungie.”

“I already said no. What do you want to eat?”

“Soonyoungie-ie-ie-ie-ie-”     

 

Minghao had somehow magically obtained the entire day off, so the two pretended to still be young vivacious men – which they were – with lots of freedom to do whatever they liked – which wasn’t entirely true – who didn’t live under the great knife of a mafia boss, which was entirely fiction. They went to the movies, they had dinner, they sat around in bars and eventually, Minghao was once again called back to work.

It wasn’t until Soonyoung was already in his apartment that he realized he was still holding Minghao’s umbrella.

“Pick up, pick-up-pick-up-pick-up,” he chimed, pressing the phone to his ear. “Don’t send me to voicemail after all this.”

“Soonyoung?! I don’t have time right now, what is it?!”

The student scowled. “Why do you sound so hurried?”

“It’s the boss, he’s gone. Disappeared.”

 

Soonyoung wasn’t entirely sure why he was here – why he rushed over in a cold sweat to help with the search. It made no sense, since he’d broken almost every tie he had with the place – but nonetheless he was here, not even bothering to take off his helmet until he was in the elevator, dripping in rain. He tried to tell himself it was to save Minghao from being upset, but even he didn’t believe his own lie. He had gotten used to whatever mess he had gotten himself into. He was used to Seokmin’s cold face and dark voice. Given his occupation, dangers lurked around every corner, but it still made Soonyoung’s spine shudder and gave him a hard time swallowing. After all, Seokmin couldn’t be hurt or kidnapped, right?

 _Right_?

Why did he even care?

When he got to the main hall, however, Minghao was leaning against a doorpost, fanning himself, entirely at ease.

He frowned in surprise. “Soonyoung, you’re here?”

Soonyoung bridled. “You found him?”

“No. Listen.” The two went still and in the distance, thunder rumbled. “It’s a storm. He’s the Storm God. No wonder he disappeared.”

Soonyoung sighed. “This again.”

“I’m telling you it’s legend. Where are you going?”

Soonyoung threw the doors to Seokmin’s office wide open, surveying the empty space. “Don’t you people have CCTV in here? Cameras to check on where he is?!”

Minghao wavered in the doorway. “…not in this room,” he mumbled quietly. “Never in this room.”

Soonyoung’s eyes darted around the ceiling, searching for a lens, but there was none. Minghao was right. Of course not. There wouldn’t be cameras here – where Seokmin kills and fucks and works. That would be too dangerous. For everybody.

“…fine.” Soonyoung sighed. “Do you usually just wait until he’s back after the storm?”

“Yeah.”

“I’ll wait too, then.”

It took Minghao a moment. “…here? In this room?”

“Yeah.” Soonyoung seated himself in one of the chairs and sighed. “I’ll see your Storm God when he gets back.”

“He won’t return if people are in the room…”

“Just shut the damn door, Minghao.”

“…okay.”

Soonyoung sighed, relaxing a little when Minghao closed the doors: he got up instantly, walking over to the bathroom, but it wasn’t locked and the man was nowhere to be found. The architect moved to sit in Seokmin’s lush chair behind the desk for a moment, before clocking the wardrobe.

_No way… right?_

_There’s… there’s no way. Right?_

Soonyoung closed his eyes a moment before opening the wadrobe door and sliding in, evicting a squeal from the resident already inside. “Sh,” he muttered, instantly moving to sit down, throwing his arms around the figure in the darkness as the door slammed shut again. “Don’t squeal, or they’ll hear you.”

The man in the wardrobe was a shaking, shuddering mess in Soonyoung’s arms, and it made his heart skip a beat. He moved to make himself comfortable, pressing the man’s body harshly against his own, constricting him slightly, and stroking his head softly. “Shhhh,” he cooed softly, “Seokmin, Seokmin! Seokmin, it’s okay, it’s okay. I’m right here. There’s nothing you have to be afraid of. It’s just a storm. It’s just a storm, it can’t get you, Seokmin.”

Seokmin released a broken, terrified sob into Soonyoung’s shoulder.

“Shhhh, it can’t get you, it can’t get you,” he cooed, closing his eyes. “It can’t get past me, Seokmin, shhhhh. It’s alright. I’m right here.”

Seokmin’s shaking, freezing fingers slowly moved forward to tuck themselves into Soonyoung’s clothes, gripping him tightly as he shook in fear every time thunder rolled overhead. He flinched every time the wardrobe was temporarily filled with light, from bright lightning through the crack of the doors. And all the while he let himself be rocked to calmness by Soonyoung, who just kept repeating himself in the softest, most calming voice he’d ever heard.

It wasn’t normal behavior, and it both scared and exhilarated Soonyoung. Who could have known that the stoic, harsh Seokmin, brutal murderer, would have such a soft side? That he would tremble at thunder? Somehow it made him… more human, as he sobbed against Soonyoung’s chest, and that made everything _so_ much worse. It gave him emotions. It gave him the ability to make Soonyoung sad. It made everything so much worse. Because if he was a small drowning puppy, Soonyoung wanted to keep him close and save him.

But there was no saving Lee Seokmin, no matter what. He knew that, too. So he simply held on to the creature Seokmin had transformed into in the darkness, and waited.

Eventually the storm moved, growing fainter and fainter with every rumble. Seokmin stopped shaking, but didn’t unclench his fingers from Soonyoung’s shirt. The architect just smiled a little to himself and kept stroking Seokmin’s hair.

It took him a while to say anything.

“I thought… you weren’t coming back.”

The voice was small – so small. So small it almost couldn’t be Seokmin, but it was his tone, his rumble. It sounded as if he’d been physically shaken to pieces. He sounded almost like a child. He was scared, and vulnerable. Soonyoung swallowed harshly against a lump in his throat for a moment at the sound, taking a few moments to compose himself.

He eventually nodded once. “I’m not.”

“But you’re here.”

His smile faded to a straight line, though nobody could see it. “It’s a one-time offer. Minghao said you had disappeared. Everybody was worried.” His tone became defensive. “Minghao and I became friends, so naturally if he’s worried, then I’ll be worried.”

“…so you came for Minghao?”

“Yeah,” Soonyoung said. Soonyoung lied.

They stayed quiet for a while, both of them thinking about it.

“How did you know?”

“…that you would be in here?” Soonyoung chuckled once. “You don’t hang any clothes except your coat here and only keep blankets on the shelf. What good is an empty wardrobe? If you were hiding anywhere, you’d be hiding in here.”

“How did you know I’m… I’m…”

“What, you thought the idea of a _legendary Storm God_ was going to work on me?” He had to work to soften his voice. “I used to… have somebody very close to me… who was afraid of loud noises. I remember how much he… suffered. How much he didn’t want me to know about it. He wanted to make me proud. Didn’t want to show how scared he was. He’d always find a new place to hide when there was a storm and I’d always find him and hold him, just like this. I never let him go until it was all over.” Soonyoung smiled. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anybody. If it makes you happy, I’ll keep up the charade. _Storm God._ ”

The words were strained. “Thank you,” Seokmin managed to cram out.

“Can’t have a mafia boss who’s afraid of thunder, right?”

“Right.”

They sat for a while, in the quiet of the night.

“Will you stay?”

“No. I’m going to go home.”

“I didn’t mean tonight.” His voice was too feeble, gentle, vulnerable. A side he’d never shown before. It was so tempting to say yes. So easy to stay with the wet puppy, so easy to keep holding him close to his heart like this. It could be so simple to stay with him.

But there was no saving Lee Seokmin.

Soonyoung breathed deeply. “I know what you meant. The answer is still no.”

“…I’m not accustomed to begging. Stay.”

“…no, sir.”

“…why not?”

Soonyoung bit his lip a moment. “This isn’t how I want my life to be. I can’t stay. Staying with you… will make my life difficult.” In more ways than one. He wasn’t sure _what_ ways, but he’d been feeling all shades of _crap_ lately, and he was sure the drowned puppy in his arms was the reason why. Minghao didn’t need to know that, but he couldn’t hide the truth from himself.

“I’m sorry,” came the soft answer.

It wasn’t enough.

“Me, too.”

They sat for another while until the distant rumblings had entirely let up, lightning dissipating.

“Shall we go out? Now that the storm is over?”

“Soonyoung.” Seokmin’s voice became harsh, disconnected and cold – just like Soonyoung remembered it. Just like a mafia boss. “Not a word about this.”

“…promise.”

When Seokmin stepped out into the open light, he looked… normal. Stone-hard, ice-cold face. His entire black suit, not a single wrinkle in it. He stood straight, as if there had never been a problem. He looked hard, cold, and ruthless. He looked like he was part of the mafia.

Soonyoung winced a little, pulling himself off the floor of the wardrobe. _What kind of face did he have when he was shaking to pieces in fear? Did he look this impregnable when he was sobbing against my shoulder? Where’s the drowned puppy I wanted to take care of… so much?_

Seokmin turned to him icily. “If you don’t plan on staying, Kwon Soonyoung, then you’re dismissed.”

Soonyoung stared at him for a moment. _Will I ever know what he looked like in that moment?_ Then he simply turned away, heading for the door. “Yes, sir.”

“And Soonyoung.”

“Yes?” He didn’t turn.

“…don’t even think of coming back here if you’re not going to stay.”

“…yes, sir.” Soonyoung exited the room and briskly handed Minghao’s umbrella back. “Here. Your Storm God is back.”

“Soo-Soo-Soonyoung?” Minghao stared after him. “Are you… are you just going home like that?!”

“It’s three AM. I’ll text you.” And with that, Soonyoung disappeared around the corner.


	10. Chapter 10

 [Minghao] _Ya… what did you and the boss talk about? He hasn’t mentioned you since the storm._

[Soonyoung] _You said you were living a hard life because of me, right? I fixed it so that my good and loyal friend Minghao wouldn’t have such a hard life. Don’t complain about me making your life easier!_

[Minghao] _I’m not complaining! But I feel sad… because now it feels like there’s something missing…_

[Soonyoung] _It’s your imagination._

It definitely wasn’t Minghao’s imagination. Or else Minghao and Soonyoung happened to share the same imagination. But he wasn’t about to tell anybody that.

[Minghao] _Soonyoungieieieieieieieie!_

[Soonyoung] _Don’t you know how many projects I have to finish? If all you’re going to do is whine my name over and over, leave it in a voicemail._

[Minghao] _You know… you and the boss… you’re really alike._

[Soonyoung] _I take that as a personal insult. Take it back._

[Minghao] _Fine, fine, I take it back. Don’t be angry. I’m just a playful guy~_

[Soonyoung] _Yeah, yeah._

[Minghao] _Are you saying you don’t miss the boss even a little? The way he dotes on you?_

Soonyoung read the text, but didn’t answer: he simply gently placed the phone back on his desk, folding his hands under his chin like Seokmin used to do.

 _I can’t answer that,_ he realized slowly. _I just… don’t know._

After all, it wasn’t as if Soonyoung and Seokmin were in a relationship together – nothing of the sort. Even though sometimes it was easier to blur the lines and pretend they were, for comfort’s sake. And it really _was_ comforting to delude himself into thinking Seokmin cared – to imagine his arms around Soonyoung’s waist, imagine soft lips on his hair. But that wasn’t real, and when reality _did_ kick in, antacids became a priority.

Either way, Soonyoung had needed protection because _apparently_ other mafia groups wanted him off the face of the planet, and Seokmin had wanted a new sex toy. Soonyoung had sufficed. There was nothing else there to be had between them – no matter how much it was appealing to Soonyoung, the idea of having a relationship. He hadn’t had one in a very, _very_ long time – not since his teen years, really – and somehow he had deluded himself into thinking he might have something like that with the brooding, dark mafia boss.

But every time Seokmin bent him over the couch it was cold, emotionless. There was no connection. Seokmin, the mafia boss, was an impregnable tower of ice, and he couldn’t be saved.

And really, the more he thought about it, was a gangster boss _really_ his first pick for a boyfriend? Was there literally _no_ other creature on the planet that would suffice in that role?

Soonyoung’s fingers gently smoothed over the paper in front of him – the differences in Roman Corinthian and Modern Composite pillars highlighted, notes scribbled almost illegibly in luminescent yellow in the margins.

Maybe a normal boyfriend was what he needed. There was an entire university campus to choose from, really. He could feel a connection with somebody, have sex and then _spoon_. He could find somebody who would play with his fingers and kiss his forehead. Somebody who held him in his arms and thought the world of him.

“Mingyu?”

“Kitchen.”

Soonyoung rolled his eyes – of course Mingyu was in the kitchen, it was a miracle the boy didn’t camp out and sleep under the countertop – but got up nonetheless to lean his shoulder against the doorway. “I need life advice.”

Mingyu paused in the middle of his chicken drumstick, staring. It took him a moment to swallow. “And you came to _me_? Dude, you must be desperate.”

“Shut up.” Soonyoung playfully kicked his leg in the air, nudging his roommate with his toes. “I’m just… bouncing ideas off you.”

“Go for it,” the giant shrugged.

“Do you think I should get a boyfriend?”

Mingyu landed somewhere between a snort – _exhalation_ – a choke – _inhalation_ – and a hiccup, a _diaphragmatic irritation_. “Dude,” he mumbled, once he’d cleared his windpipes, “it’s not like going to the pet shop and grabbing a goldfish, you know.”

“I know! Well… how did you and Wonwoo meet then?”

“We’re not boyfriends,” Mingyu defended hotly before his shoulders sank forward a little unhappily. “I mean, I’d like to be, but we’re not.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

“Well yeah but I’ve got all this food that needs to be eaten.”

“Come on, man.”

Mingyu sighed, putting down his plate. He seemed stressed, wiping his forehead before turning towards his friend. “It’s… awkward. We’re, like… we’re good friends, right? But we’re also fucking around together. And I don’t mind either of those, but we’re close, and I just wish it was different. Does that make sense? I mean, I don’t know what I mean…” He closed his eyes a moment. “When we’re together, he’s… he acts like we’re just friends, in public. When we get behind closed doors it’s pants off and all rules are forfeit but it doesn’t feel like there’s anything else behind it, right? So it’s not like I can ask him to label our relationship or anything. I already know we’re friends with benefits. I wish there was more but there’s not, and the healthy alternative is to break it off before it goes too far, but… I don’t think I can anymore. I… I have, feelings. For him. And even though it hurts me every time I even think of him, I _can’t_ stop. I like him so much and I get to see him almost every day, so if it ain’t broke…”

Soonyoung nodded slowly, looking away quietly. “Yeah… I think I understand.”

Mingyu observed him a quiet moment. “I didn’t think you were _in love_ with Vito Don Curling Iron.”

“Corleone.” Soonyoung had to grin a bit. “Just give up and call him the Godfather, Mingyu.”

“Thanks, but that doesn’t answer the question.”

“No! No, I don’t – I don’t love him or something like that. I don’t even have feelings for him at all. I think.” Soonyoung made a series of confused faces. “It’s hard to know, because the sex is… well, we haven’t actually signed the contract and done the deed, but let’s just say it’s good. But… I guess I wish I had the whole package. You know, the hugging and meaningful kisses and spooning and cute morning texts. But I don’t think Seokmin is that type of person. He isn’t… _loving_ to me, or anybody. I miss that feeling of being loved.”

Mingyu made a face. “Well yeah but if you buy the full Windows 10 package, you’re also going to get the Windows 10 bugs. I mean if you want the spooning-after-sex upgrade then you’re also going to have to deal with the morning-breath ads. You install cute morning texts, but then you get that annoying 6AM notification that wakes you up on your day off. Tea?”

“Ginger, please.” Soonyoung watched his flatmate pull out the ginger teabags and hot water with a light hum. “I guess you’re right.”

“Besides, you and Dandy Dan only split what, two weeks ago? Maybe you should take some more time to decide on what you want.” Mingyu handed him a cup.

Soonyoung took it awkwardly. “Dandy Dan?”

“You know, the bad guy from Bugsy Malone.”

“Really, Bugsy Malone, that’s the level you’re stooping to?”

Mingyu flushed, embarrassed. He gave a pout as he flaunted past his friend to sit on the couch. “I don’t know any other gangsters.”

“How about you stick to what you said before?” he grinned gently.

“Volvo Madonna Curling Iron? Okay.”

Soonyoung had to laugh at the awful joke, coming to sit with his friend, curling up on his side of the couch. “Yeah, that. I just… I don’t know. Maybe you’re right, rushing into a new relationship is just… re-bound talk.”

“Precisely.” Mingyu’s eyebrows suddenly shot up and he leaned in with an excited, dark kind of look. “You know what the best rebound action is, right?”

 

“Chatroulette!” Mingyu cheered, placing Soonyoung’s laptop on his lap gently. “For all your rebound needs.”

“…this might sound stupid, but what _is it?_ ”

Mingyu was already creeping towards the door of his friend’s bedroom. “It’s a way to meet new people.”

“I thought we just agreed I should wait?”

Mingyu giggled to himself like a middle-school girl and began to slowly shut the door. “It’s not those kinds of new people you’ll be meeting. Have fun!”

Within the brief span of 45 seconds of what was initially utter panic, Soonyoung found out that Chatroulette was, more likely, a way of meeting not new people, but new genitalia. And once he’d become less uncomfortable with the thought, he tried to enjoy it.

Really, really tried.

 _I guess this is how Seokmin feels then,_ he thought awkwardly, as the camera in the corner was focused on somebody’s dick. _It doesn’t really satisfy in any way shape or form._

Eventually he closed out of the website, utterly disappointed – Mingyu had obviously hoped for a different reaction, but he’d have to be placated some other way. Maybe with food. Food usually seemed to work.

 

“Soonyoung.” Professor Lee was annoyed first – understandably so – but then he quickly became concerned. “Soonyoung?”

Soonyoung pressed his forehead against his desk, face scrunched up horribly, right hand gripping his torso. With his left hand he held up an okay-sign. “I’m okay, just fine,” he crammed out, sounding entirely like he was slowly being crushed.

“You don’t _sound_ just fine,” the man five pews down answered. “What’s wrong?”

Eyoung looked up from her half-dead friend to whimper. “He’s been complaining about a pain in his tummy all day. He even considered skipping your class to go home and lie down.”

Soonyoung made a sound that resembled an angry grizzly’s roar. “It hurts,” he whispered in agony.

“If you’re in that much pain, why are you here?” Professor Lee began to climb the steps up to Soonyoung’s pew. “You should have gone to the hospital.”

“He took painkillers,” Eyoung muttered, shuffling out of her seat in the pew. “He didn’t want to disappoint you because he worked hard on the Ancient Roman assignment. And it’s already November, it’s so cold out, he didn’t want to leave.”

Professor Lee slid into Eyoung’s space and looked Soonyoung up and down. “You seem to have developed a fever. That or you’ve learned how to sweat like magic. Soonyoung, place your thumb on your belly button, pinky finger on your hip, and hold your other fingers out straight.” It took a moment for his order to be obeyed. “Where your fingers are – that’s where it hurts?”

“ _M-hm,_ ” came the pathetic whimper.

The professor turned to Eyoung instantly. “Since when?”

“About, maybe, em, nine this morning? Nine-thirty?”

“Right. Yuha, my lovely assistant!”

A freshman in the front row looked up. “Yessir?”

“I need you to call this young man an ambulance, before his appendix makes a nasty Pollock painting on his innards.”

“It’s appendicitis?!” Eyoung wailed in sudden terror.

“Help me get him to the main hall.”

“Yessir!”

Somewhere between the lecture hall and the main hall, Kwon Soonyoung passed out.

 

“I hate you,” Eyoung sniffled, pressing her face into Soonyoung’s arm. “How are we supposed to be gay besties if you keep fucking with me like this?”

The boy in the hospital gown smiled softly. “Pun intended? Sorry, kid. I didn’t mean to scare anybody.”

“Professor Lee was upset too!”

Soonyoung made a face. “He’s my favourite professor.”

“I know – he told me to smack you if you survived. I won’t, but he told me. You shouldn’t be so attached to him.” She laid her head down again, her free arm crossing over Soonyoung’s torso. “Next time, go home and e-mail him why you weren’t there, instead.”

“I don’t think I’ll be getting appendicitis again, on the account of me no longer claiming ownership to an appendix.”

“Shut up, you know what I mean.” She handed the boy a small, black bar. “I couldn’t crack your code, but Mingyu’s called twice already.”

“You _have_ his _number_ ,” Soonyoung protested. “You couldn’t call him yourself?”

Eyoung held up three fingers. “Battery died, I ran out of data, and also when I called him he didn’t pick up.”

Soonyoung rolled his eyes, unlocking his phone with ease. “Two missed calls from Mingyu… five from Minghao?”

“Who’s Minghao?” Eyoung stuck her nose in front of the screen. “Are you screwing him? Is he cute? Does he have a cute sister?”

Soonyoung pulled the phone away, offended. “I thought you and Irene were perfectly happy.”

The girl shrugged with a dreamy sigh. “The only thing better than two gay girls is three gay girls.”

Soonyoung couldn’t contest that, what with not being a gay girl and all, so he simply turned back to his phone before putting it away. “I’m sure when Mingyu calls again I’ll catch it. Besides, they should be letting me out of here pretty quick. Can you help me back to the dorm?”

“Of _course_ ,” she gushed, hands moving to stroke Soonyoung’s hair back. “Do you need anything? Does it still hurt?”

Soonyoung turned to her. “Well, I just got a doctor to cut a gash in my side, remove what little remained of an appendix in the middle of its dissolving state and stitch me back up again, so I’m going to go ahead and say _yeah_?”

“Keep talkin’, smart-ass, and I’ll reconsider the Professor’s request to smack you,” she quipped sharply, taking out her own phone. “Anyway I’ll stay with you for a while, so just lie down and recover like a good patient instead of giving me heart issues.”

Soonyoung lied down with a pious _yes ma’am_ before crossing his arms over his chest like an Egyptian mummy and making loud snoring noises.

“I hate you and I’ll murder your family,” she dead-panned.

“I love you too.”

“I’ll murder your _do-_ ”

“You keep Charlie out of it!”

They had to finish their quibble when the nurse came storming in to take care of business: once it had been established that Soonyoung probably wouldn’t die he was sent home with a bag full of antibiotics and painkillers and one of his best friends tucked under his shoulder to prop him up.

Mingyu practically ripped the front door off its hinges. “Where have you been?!”

“Hospital.” Soonyoung smirked as Mingyu’s anger immediately made way for terror, confusion and genuine worry: Soonyoung gripped his friend’s shoulder. “Sorry buddy, turns out I’ll live.”

Mingyu groaned in frustration, but managed to fire a glare over Soonyoung’s shoulder. “I see you’re still working on taming the shrew.”

Eyoung smiled viciously. “Don’t worry, pop tart, I’m not staying for long.”

“Aw Youngie, you should at least have a cup of tea.”

Mingyu bent down to mutter in his friends ear as he led him to the couch. “Dude, you’re inviting it _in_?”

“The pronoun is _she_ ,” Eyoung tried to correct, shutting the front door behind her.

“Keep it up, smart-ass, I’m not above dunking witches in my bathtub to save my town from further infiltration of _pure evil_ ,” Mingyu quipped back.

Soonyoung flopped onto the couch with a muffled groan. “Can the two of you _pretend_ not to despise each other for a short while? I just had something inside my body try to kill me, and then a strange man with pliers had to cut it out of me. It’s been a long day. Please spare me.”

“Sorry,” the two chorused.

“What happened?”

“Oh, my appendix began to dissolve, like it was somebody _special_.” Soonyoung closed his eyes for a minute. “They had to rip it out and put me on an antibiotic drip for a couple of hours to make sure I wasn’t gonna give up on this life.”

“Too much dick he still hasn’t ridden,” Eyoung grinned.

“In contrast to you, who’s brutally sex-tortured every creature East of-”

“Mingyu,” Soonyoung barked.

“Sorry. I’ll go make tea.”

“That’s my boy.” Soonyoung groaned, reclining into a lying position. “I feel like crap.”

Eyoung bent over him for a moment, giving him a benign smile. “Hey listen, I really should go. It’s super late and Irene’ll be upset. Your overgrown puppy-dog can handle it from here, so be careful, alright?”

Soonyoung nodded. “Thanks, Youngie.”

“Anytime, dumbass.” She kissed her friend’s cheek, then moved to the kitchen. “Hey.”

Mingyu shuddered in response.

“Make sure he eats a good breakfast before taking his antibiotics and painkillers. Doc says the killers will make him loopy so make sure he has food near-by enough so that he doesn’t have to walk to get more.”

Mingyu grunted, but nodded once. “Anything else, before I splash you with holy water?”

She paused a moment. “What was the last thing you said to my brother?”

Mingyu turned, confused. “What? Nothing, why?”

Eyoung slowly folded her arms. “He’s been acting weird. I was wondering if you said something inappropriate.”

“It’s always me, isn’t it,” Mingyu bit back – but with less venom than usual. He looked away, thinking about it. “He’s not sick or anything, is he?”

“No, just… different. Quieter.”

“ _Even_ quieter? What, did the _silence_ decide to be quiet?”

Eyoung winced a little, shuffling uncomfortably. “Look, no matter how much both of us would like to tear out each other’s guts, put that aside for a moment. I’m telling you whatever you last texted him has changed him. Mingyu, I love my brother.”

Mingyu looked like he wanted to claim the same, but didn’t.

“Don’t hurt Wonwoo any more, okay? He’s been through enough.”

“You think that _I_ would do something like-”

“I don’t _know_ ,” Eyoung barked. She worked hard to lower her voice. “I’m just saying… if you’ve done something regrettable, fix it. Because if you think I’m a bitch now…” She sighed. “Neither of us want to see him hurt, so… act like a respectable man and do the right thing.”

 

It took five days – long, loopy, LSD-esque, _long_ days – until Soonyoung was able to come off his painkillers. After which the remaining ten pills were taped into the box with electrical tape and the package was branded **_SHROOM PAINKILLERS – CONSUME ONLY AS LAST RESORT_** , and then stuffed in the back of the medicine drawer.

Soonyoung felt that after he had six consecutive nightmares about eating grass in front of batman in a pair of superman briefs he had grown out of when he was nine, this was a valid response to becoming sober and realizing what the medication had done to him.

“Soonyoungie? I’m going over to Wonwoo’s for a bit.”

“Try not to bite Eyoung, she promised she’d help me in physics.”

“Yeah… I might not be back till late so, eh…”

Soonyoung looked up, glanced at the clock – 8PM – and then back, taking in the hurried, worried look on Mingyu’s face. Had to be important. “Alright. Good luck.”

“Thanks.”

Soonyoung was confused when the doorbell rang only two hours later – he got up and made his way to the front door, but it wasn’t Mingyu, or Wonwoo, or even Eyoung.

He _reeked_ of whiskey, cheeks flushed, rose as red as Rudolph the Reindeer’s. His hair looked awful, sticking out every way it possibly could – frizzy and wet from either rain or sweat, or both. His eyes were half-lidded, staring up as if he couldn’t form a coherent thought, shirt ripped and falling off one shoulder. He swayed to and fro, what little liquor that was left in the bottle sloshing violently. “You,” he bumbled, almost falling over, pointing a thick finger at Soonyoung. “You!”

“… _Seokmin_?”


	11. Chapter 11

For a few moments he stood in complete shock, unable to believe the man in front of him was Seokmin. Seokmin! The very _father_ of control, of order and neatness. Standing in Soonyoung’s doorway, drunk as a bum, swaying, red-nosed and foul-breathed. “Seokmin!”

“Don’t cry out to me like that,” the drunk man warned, a dark look on his harrowed face. “Don’t cry out to me with that voice. You’re an asshole,” he slurred, swaying dangerously. “You.”

“You’d better come in before you kill yourself,” Soonyoung muttered, reaching out.

Seokmin instantly lunged to grip Soonyoung, hands like talons. “Soonyoung,” he panted suddenly, hands shaking, wet and cold, gripping him. “Soonyoung, is it really you?”

“Sure. Come here.” He had to wrap his arm right around Seokmin’s waist in order to safely manoeuvre him into the apartment, but eventually managed to drag him through the doorway, practically hoisting the man onto his hip to swing him through.

“You asshole!” Seokmin sobbed, hiccupping a moment. He still wouldn’t let go of him. “Soonyoungie.”

“What did I do?” Soonyoung placated, trying to get the man to come along easily.

“You dumped me!” Seokmin pressed a cold, kind of painful finger into Soonyoung’s chest. He skipped back a moment before returning to grasp him “I feel all these funny, tingly ways about you and you dumped me! Just! Just like that! I’m probably even in love with you and you didn’t even have the guts to tell me goodbye in real life!”

Soonyoung clenched his jaw, instantly rejecting the slurred words. _He’s just drunk. Really, really drunk._ “How about we get you into bed?”

“Only if you’ll come,” the man slurred, pressing his face against Soonyoung’s arm. “Only if my Soonyoungie will come with me. Only my precious boy. My number one preciousest boy.”

“It’s my house,” Soonyoung grunted, trying to pull a resistant, surprisingly heavy Seokmin along. “Where am I gonna go…”

Seokmin struggled away again before once more throwing both his arms around Soonyoung, suddenly breaking out in a loud wail of a drunken sob. “Soonyoungie!”

“Seo-Seo-Seo-”

“I love you so much,” Seokmin sobbed hysterically, pressing his face against Soonyoung’s chest. “I feel all this for you… Don’t – Don’t be angry with me anymore! Don’t leave me again! Please? I’ll be better, I promise, just don’t leave me anymore! Don’t… don’t leave me anymore. If you leave I can’t… take it.”

Soonyoung grappled with the madman and his sudden onset of extreme emotion for a moment before holding him a little tighter. “Come on,” he whispered, “it’s time for bed.”

Seokmin refused to let go of Soonyoung, mumbling incoherent little whines, so the student was obliged to lie with his former employer in his small single-person bed, allowing him to bury his face in Soonyoung’s collarbone.

“I thought I’d never see you again,” a feeble, small voice murmured. “I can’t get you out of my head. Like the Minogue song. The idea I might never see you again… I don’t like it.”

Soonyoung stroked Seokmin’s hair comfortingly, just like the day he’d comforted him during the storm. “It’s okay, go to sleep,” he mumbled.

“Soonyoung.” The voice was too soft to be Seokmin – too feeble and weak and uncontrolled to be the type of man that killed people. He looked up with soft eyes that seemed to belong to another man. “I… I fell in love with you at first sight. So don’t go away anymore. Don’t go away from me. I want to see you. I want to kiss you. I want to make you my special person. Don’t leave me anymore.”

Soonyoung sighed a little, impatient. “I’m here, aren’t I?”

Seokmin’s fists became harder. “Don’t leave me,” he begged. His voice turned – he went from something small and drunken to something stranger. There was a lilt in his tone that was off-putting. It didn’t sound right coming out of his mouth.

Because it was fear.

“If you leave me… _I might really become the monster you think I am_.”

Soonyoung took a deep breath at that. “Sleep tight, Seokmin.” Once he was sure that Seokmin had fallen into a deep, alcohol-induced stupor, he gently unclenched the man’s hands from his clothing and went to make himself a makeshift bed on the couch.

 

Soonyoung was sitting down to a very large mug of steaming coffee when he was disturbed. “You’re only getting home now?”

Mingyu nodded. He hadn’t slept over, that was obvious: his skin was dull and there were dark circles under his eyes. He rubbed his face with an open palm.

“You okay?”

“I… I think so.” Mingyu sighed and sat beside his friend. “It’s all a bit… confusing.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

“I’ll talk about it when I understand what happened,” he mumbled, continuing to rub his face. “You usually take your coffee in your room, what’s up?”

Soonyoung rolled his eyes. “A friend came over to visit, got drunk, fell asleep on my bed.”

Mingyu, exhausted as he was, managed to give Soonyoung a wolfish grin and a wiggle of the eyebrows. “Nice, well _done_. I’m glad you’re getting back out there.”

Soonyoung nudged him. “It’s not like that.”

“M-hm.”

Soonyoung couldn’t really argue properly without giving too much away, so he just kept having his coffee for a while until he stood up. “Listen, I need to run down to the University to hand in a paper. If he wakes up, just, uh… can you keep him here? Can you stay awake that long for me? We need to talk.”

“Okay.”

“And Mingyu?” Soonyoung glanced over his shoulder as he shrugged his jacket on. “Try not to be too…”

“…Toooooo…?”

“You.”

Mingyu winked. “Gotcha.”

“I mean it.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

 

Soonyoung was sweating long before he ran into his own street: he’d been running for the past five minutes to get back home, upset and annoyed. He’d received notification from one of his professors that an architectural team wanted his insight for a building project in Yongin, and it was already past lunchtime. The idea that Mingyu – his beloved giant idiot Mingyu – would have the jaw power to keep Seokmin in the apartment for this amount of time was ridiculous at best.

Just by the front door the student stopped, hands on his knees, wheezing hard. Amongst the panting, he zoned in on the mumbling voice inside.

“I think it really messed him up. He doesn’t know it himself I think, but he’s been depressed for a while. That guy really messed him up I think. It’s kind of hard to watch as a friend, you know? The damn… Volvo Madonna Curling Iron.”

“…what?”

“You know, from the Godfather.”

“…did you mean _Vito Don Corleone?_ ”

“Yeah, that’s the guy. Like that, but colder. Only used Soonyoung for sex. It really hurt his pride and his feelings. It’s-”

Soonyoung burst in, jingling his keys hard, running into the living room where Mingyu was bonding with Soonyoung’s _guest_ over a pot of hot coffee. “Whoa, whoa, whoa!” he screamed, face bright red.

The two looked up.

“Hey, Soonyoung,” Mingyu smiled obliviously. “Nice timing. I need to be at work in twenty.”

Soonyoung looked up – Seokmin looked strange, with his hair still mussed, unshaven and a little red-eyed. He looked exhausted, too, but he was now dressed in what seemed to be Soonyoung’s tracksuit. It was appropriate, given that he hadn’t worn anything better when he arrived and he had been soaking wet, but it was a surprise to see, for sure.

Mingyu patted Soonyoung on the back and then he was gone.

“…uh, hey,” Seokmin mumbled at length, a bit dazed.

“…hey.” Soonyoung sat down opposite him where Mingyu had been, taking in the changes to Seokmin’s physique. He looked _very_ different like this, hunched over and bleary-eyed. “…you uh, you eaten yet?”

“Yeah, your uh, your roommate made breakfast.” Seokmin’s voice took on a lighter tone. “He’s nice.”

“Mingyu’s a gem, yeah.”

The two sat in awkward silence, not looking at each other.

“…I’m sorry about last night. I should never have come here. I’m sure it… _inconvenienced_ you quite a bit. I hope I didn’t spoil any plans you had.”

“No! No, no, I uh – I didn’t have plans, it was fine. Um… it uh, it was a surprise though. You, uh… I’ve never seen you drunk before.” Soonyoung blinked a little strangely at Seokmin. He wasn’t the feeble drunken fool of last night, but he wasn’t quite himself, either. Maybe it was the lack of black suit. He seemed, God forbid, almost _normal_.

Seokmin straightened a bit. “I don’t usually drink that much.”

“…how much do you _remember_ about last night?” Soonyoung looked up, only to gauge how Seokmin reacted to the question. The man went pink and looked away, and that told him enough. “Everything, huh.”

“…yeah.”

Soonyoung looked away, feeling just as embarrassed, for some reason. “I guess you say a lot of weird things when you drink. I’m like that too so don’t worry.”

“I don’t say weird things. When I drink I’m no longer capable of lying. All my ability to act goes out the window, that’s why I don’t drink to that extent.”

Soonyoung frowned, looking up. “But you said-”

“I know what I said.” Seokmin sighed, leaning forward, rubbing his face with both hands before staring at the table through his fingers. “…I mean, what do you expect? I head up a major mafia company. It was my father’s before me. I’ve lived in the mafia my whole life. My life is a murder after a heist, after drugs, after gambling, after hookers, after kidnapping, after murder. That’s just what it’s always looked like. I can’t go around flaunting all my feelings and emotions everywhere, it would be the end of… everything. Pretending to be a cold, emotionless asshole is… necessary for my survival. It’s an act I put on like a piece of clothing every single day.”

It took Soonyoung a moment. “…then…?”

“Yes,” Seokmin whispered in terror, staring at the table, wide-eyed. It took him a moment to clear the lump in his throat before he could continue, voice breathy, ghost-like. “I fell in love with you the first moment I saw you. Your surprised little face, your eyesmile, your pouty lips, the whole thing. I don’t think I realized I was in love at that first moment. Just… obsessed. You’re so different. The way you smile, the way you speak, the way you walk. I had people spy on you, report back, that’s just how things happen now for me. When it had been enough I told them to bring you in. I couldn’t imagine you’d be so… so… _perfect_ in reality, too _._ Yes, I fell in love with you. I never meant to. But… I don’t know how else to describe what I feel. It’s not lust – I know lust. It’s not hatred. It’s… an overwhelming need to protect you. To make you happy. Yes… I’ve fallen in love with the architect that wouldn’t leave my side if I worked through the night. I’ve fallen in love with the boy who just craves to be held. I’ve fallen in love with the boy who is unwaveringly loyal. I fell in love with Kwon Soonyoung.”

A long moment of silence passed as Seokmin drew breath and Soonyoung tried to digest news that his mind seemed to want to reject.

“You say that like it’s a sin.”

Seokmin looked up, a depth in his eyes that kept Soonyoung entranced. “Isn’t it?”

The boy shook his head quickly, glancing away. “Anyway, you thought the way to do things right was to… buy me as your personal gigolo?”

“Oh sue me about it,” Seokmin snapped, glaring up angrily. It made Soonyoung flinch a little. “It wasn’t like you were going to magically fall in love with me, too, that’s not how the world works. Even… even if it just meant having you near, I would have said anything. Offered you anything.”

“How could you fall in love with me anyway? You didn’t know anything _about_ me.”

“Haven’t you ever fallen in love at first sight?”

“ _No._ ”

Seokmin looked away, stroking his hair back. He looked so normal, it was astounding to see the difference: he had facial muscles, _and they moved_. He seemed like he could be any regular Joe in University. “Well, anyway. I’m still sorry I came over and said all those things. Must have been really… well I mean, you moved on since then obviously. Your flatmate tells me you’ve… been dating.” The sound of his voice was battered and tired: he sounded more like he’d given up on something he’d wanted more than anything else.

It hit Soonyoung like a ton of bricks – it was earth-shattering and absolutely crazy, but it couldn’t be denied. _This_ was the real Seokmin. The cold man in an office behind a desk was a mask. This – this normal human being, in pain, seeping a little jealousy, helplessness, and shame, _this_ was Lee Seokmin. He wasn’t impregnable, or icy, or detached. He had a slew of emotions. The whole range, from frustrated to wet puppy to jealous lover. He was _normal_. Lee Seokmin was _normal_. He just pretended to be cold for the sake of his job.

Soonyoung shook his head: this was information he’d have to work through slowly. It was too new. “Don’t mind Mingyu, he’ll say anything.”

“So you aren’t dating?”

“…I’ve been out on a date here and there. Nothing interesting.”

“I see.” Seokmin’s voice had a measured tone to it. “Well, I should probably get going. Let you, uh… live normally.”

“Seokmin.” Soonyoung quickly stood to match Seokmin’s stance. “Don’t… don’t go like that, I’ll feel bad. Just… stay a while. I’ll, uh… we’ll order pizza in. For lunch.”

Seokmin stood there, confused a moment. “You… want me to stay?”

Soonyoung’s mouth twitched into an awkward smile. “A handsome man came into my apartment drunk to profess his undying love for me… can’t let you go just like that.”

“It’s okay. I won’t ask you to be responsible for me or my choices.”

“Don’t say it like that.”

“Then how _should_ I say it? Tell me. I’ll say anything you like.” Seokmin held his arms out a little and then let them flop back to his sides helplessly. He looked so… simple. A simple man, giving up his last chance.

Soonyoung looked around the apartment – anywhere but at a new, somehow emotional and vulnerable Seokmin – frustrated, trying to find the words. “Just – I don’t understand. If you like me that much then how can you act so cold?”

“…you _realize_ I’m a gangster, right?”

“Yeah, but-”

“The idea of the mafia has always been uncomfortable for you. I didn’t want to make that worse by confusing your feelings.”

“Well that sucks,” Soonyoung pouted. “…I would have liked it if you acted nicer. Like this.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means if you like somebody, you try and make them fall in love with you, you don’t go around using them for sex!”

Seokmin stared at him, pain glinting in his eyes. “It… it really felt like that to you? You’ve said it a few times now… you hated it that much? Was I… that cruel to you?”

“I didn’t _hate_ it, but… I… would have liked a chance to fall in love with you. The real you. A you with emotion. Whatever it is that you’re currently displaying.” Soonyoung flapped a hand, motioning to all of the man in his tracksuit. “I don’t know – I haven’t been in a relationship for so long, I forgot how it feels. I want to have a connection with somebody, have somebody hold me I… I don’t want to be lonely anymore. I thought I could fill any physical need I had with you, fine, but it wasn’t enough. I still felt lonely. It wasn’t _enough_.”

Seokmin thought about it for a moment, staring at him. “I _could_ be enough, for you.”

Soonyoung looked up. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“…I’d… hold you.”

“I don’t mean that – it’s still just you pretending that I’m-”

“I’m not pretending. I never pretended. Or maybe I did, just to hide the fact that it was what I really felt. I’m in love with you.” He shifted uncomfortably under the scrutiny of Soonyoung’s look. “It’s just… hard to woo somebody when he’s in my office, or cuddle somebody I like there. It’s not the most romantic place on earth.”

“We can agree on that,” Soonyoung muttered.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t enough for you, Soonyoung. You deserve better. I know that. I knew it back then, too, but I was too selfish. I’ll do my best to let you go from now on, if you want. I’ll let you find somebody who is able to be affectionate without restraint. I’ll be happy for you. I’ll even send you a wedding present, if you like.” Seokmin sniffed – he wasn’t crying, but he sounded like he might, as soon as he was on the other side of the front door he was heading towards.

Soonyoung simply caught him by the cuff of his sleeve, forcing him to halt. “Stop. No. Stay.”

“What?”

“Just. Just give me a moment.” Soonyoung stared at the floor, his free hand on his chest. The idea that Seokmin would just leave like this gave him a physical pain between his ribs. He couldn’t let him leave. “Don’t go.”

Seokmin moved into the apartment again. “Are you alright? Are you in pain?”

Soonyoung squeezed his eyes shut. Yes, he was in pain, but nobody could help that. He just gripped Seokmin’s hand for a moment, reassuring himself that he wasn’t leaving. Eventually he stood straight, suddenly putting his arms around the gangster so his face wasn’t visible. “Just don’t go like this.”

He stood for a moment, bewildered, before slowly putting his arms around Soonyoung too.

Soonyoung sniffled, taking a deep breath, but then managed to break into a small chuckle. “You know, this is the first time we’ve ever hugged?”

The boss of the mafia smiled, one hand moving to smooth over Soonyoung’s hair. “I like it.”

“Me, too. We should do it more often.”

“Okay.”

They stood like that for a few minutes, simply hugging each other as Soonyoung tried to get himself together. He dried his eyes that weren’t really wet and took deep breathes. There was no other way for him, he realized that. He couldn’t let Seokmin leave, and that only meant one thing.

“Seokmin… I don’t just want to _hug_ you more often. I…” He stood back, letting go. “I want to be _like this_ more often. Together.”

It took him a while to understand. “So what – are we… are you going to let me try?” Seokmin looked up with a confused look. “Are you… coming back to me?”

“I can’t _come back_ to you, I don’t know if you noticed, but we weren’t in a relationship,” Soonyoung snapped,  suddenly a little irritated. “And I don’t even think we’re even agreeing to _be_ in a relationship, so it’s all very confusing for my poor, simple mind.”

Seokmin sighed, thinking about it for a moment. “Can I… can I try something?”

Soonyoung leaned back suspiciously. “What?”

“Nothing bad. Trust me?”

Soonyoung just gave him a curt nod.

Seokmin stepped forward hesitantly but carefully placed his hands on either side of Soonyoung’s face, just by his jawline. His eyes pondered over the student’s face with a strange glint in them. He hadn’t been like this in front of Soonyoung, ever – his hands were too gentle, eyes too wistful. It was as if Seokmin was committing every feature of his to memory, as if…

As if he was afraid he’d never be able to see it again.

Fear wasn’t something commonly associated with Seokmin, and the architect seen and heard it too much already.

“Soonyoung,” Seokmin whispered. It sounded different, somehow, with him standing in Soonyoung’s apartment wearing casual clothing. Like a different man – not a hardened criminal, but just a man, unshaven, normal. The unmoving mask had crumbled away in Soonyoung’s hands last night, and now he was left with the precious soul hiding behind it.

“Soonyoung, Soonyoung, I love you. How could I not? When I look at you… have you any idea what… how I feel?” Slowly, Seokmin leaned his forehead against Soonyoung’s. “I want to take you out to happy places. I want to spoil you. I want to hold your hand and make you feel alive. I know you don’t feel the same way, not yet, but I want to try. I want to be like this with you, too. I also want to tie you to my bed and fuck you out until you’re begging for release, but we can negotiate.”

Soonyoung broke out into a small laugh at the idea. “Sounds pretty good to me.”

“Yeah?” And suddenly, Seokmin smiled.

A real smile. A real, pure, _happy_ smile, and air caught in Soonyoung’s throat.

He was _beautiful_. His whole face changed, warmed up like a Christmas tree. His eyes almost entirely disappeared as his mouth stretched from one ear to the other in a huge, dimpled smile – lots of teeth and plenty of gum.

“You’re so cute when you laugh, Soonyoungie.”

Soonyoung froze, staring in wonder. “Oh my God.”

The smile disappeared just as quickly as it has appeared. “What? What’s wrong?”

“Your… _smile._ Oh my God – do it again.”

Seokmin made an attempt. Seokmin failed.

“No, really!”

“Was it that good?”

“It was…” He stared in the distance a moment, in surprise and awe. “…really warm.”

“Is that okay?”

“It’s… great.”

“Really? Does it make you happy?” Seokmin’s expression became anxious. “Because if it makes you happy I won’t stop, I’ll do everything that makes you happy. If it means you’ll stay with me.”

Soonyoung chuckled a little, holding onto Seokmin’s arms as he looked him over. “You’re… really different. Like… a different person. I’m not scared to laugh around you if you’re like this. How can you be so wildly different?”

Seokmin shrugged. “When we’re alone, I guess I don’t have to pretend to be a mafia boss. You’ve already seen me at my worst… it can only get better from here. Right?”

Soonyoung nodded. “I like this guy better than the mafia boss.”

“Yeah?” The magical smile returned, his whole face seeming to glow and twinkle. “I’m glad.”

The two just stood there, smiling a little at each other.

“Soonyoung… can I kiss you?”

Soonyoung grinned a little and nodded, leaning in.

Seokmin’s lips were soft and gentle as his hands held Soonyoung’s face carefully. The feeling was exciting, deep and _stirring_ – it was warm and passionate but soft like candlelight. Seokmin’s arms moved to grip Soonyoung by the waist and the man almost collapsed with weak knees.

Seokmin just pressed him closer to his chest, deepening the kiss until Soonyoung’s ears were ringing and he could barely breathe.

It took the student a moment to get his breath back when he was released. “…you’ve never kissed me like _that_ before,” he panted.

Seokmin laughed, the broad, happy, gummy smile reappearing. He leaned his forehead against Soonyoung’s again. “…Soonyoung, let me love you. Let me woo you. Let me show you how good I can be to you. I know I should have led with this. I know it might be too late. But… Soonyoung… please, let’s be a real couple together. Please be my boyfriend.”

Soonyoung didn’t answer.

Seokmin closed his eyes, eyebrows turning down. “Please, please, say you’ll be my boyfriend. I can’t go back now, I’m in too deep. I’m too in love with you to stop myself now. If you don’t want me… I’ll abide by your decision, but please give me a second chance.”

Soonyoung bridled a moment, uneasy in the muddle between the logic of his mind and pain of his heart. “There won’t be a third one,” he warned.

He looked up, complete surprise on his face as it drained of color a little. “What? Is that… is that a yes?”

Soonyoung couldn’t help but smile at the hopeful look on his lover’s face.

“Yes!” Seokmin bent down, gripping Soonyoung by the waist. “Yes, yes, yes, yes!” He picked the architect up in a happy fit, spinning circles on the spot. “I love you! Yes!”

“I didn’t _say_ yes!”

“But you meant it!”

“Put me _down_!”

Seokmin slowly lowered his boyfriend to the ground, leaning in to kiss him over and over – on the lips, the cheeks, the nose, the chin, anywhere. Soonyoung _had_ to laugh, backing away slightly. The feeling of it was strange – as if he was being overwhelmed with one person’s warm affection, drowning in it, and it felt _amazing_. “Alright, alright. Come here.”

They kissed again, and Seokmin couldn’t hold his smile throughout – he kept giggling happily to himself, fingers gripping Soonyoung’s waist. “I love you,” he whispered against the architect’s lips. “It feels so freeing to say it out loud. I love you, Soonyoung. My little cutie. I’ll make you fall for me, too.”

Soonyoung rolled his eyes a little, if only to offset the contagious feeling of giddy happiness. “Okay, if you say so.”

“I _do_ say so.” Seokmin grinned happily.

Soonyoung smiled a little back, gripping onto Seokmin’s waist. “You look good in my clothes.”

“Your roommate said I could wear them… you think?”

Soonyoung nodded. “Very casual. Unshaven, hair messy, in a tracksuit…”

“It’s different,” Seokmin admitted.

“It’s… kind of… _hot_.”

“What?”

Soonyoung blushed, unable to look his _boyfriend_ in the eye. “Well, y-you know, I’ve never seen you outside of a suit before, which is handsome of course, but seeing you a little more casual and rugged is…”

“You think it’s _hot_?” Seokmin had to look down at the grey jogging pants in surprise. “Really?”

Soonyoung’s fingers began to tremble a little, tied up in the folds of the sweatshirt. “Uh… y-yeah, a… just a little…”

 “Hey, where were you all morning, anyway? I woke up at like, ten, it took you hours to get back.”

“Seokmin.”

“Hmm?”

Soonyoung looked up, a mixture of desperation, lust, complete embarrassment and shame easily displayed on his face. “Um, I, uh…”

Seokmin tilted his head, worry splaying across his face. “What’s wrong, Soonyoungie?”

Without a single word, Soonyoung grabbed one of Seokmin’s hands and placed it between his hips.

“Oh.” Seokmin went bright red, fingers automatically cupping the hard-on Soonyoung was sporting. “Really? You think I look _that_ hot?”

Soonyoung had to gulp down a whimper, instead opting to lean his head on Seokmin’s shoulder. “It’s been a while,” he mumbled defensively, “a-and now you’re here and I just agreed to be your _boyfriend_ and…”

Seokmin slowly began to palm over Soonyoung’s jeans, a lusty grin forming on his face. His free hand moved to tangle his fingers in Soonyoung’s hair gently, pulling lightly to tantalize the poor student. “And?”

“Do-don’t be mean.”

“I want you to tell me _and_ ,” Seokmin stipulated, dipping his hand into Soonyoung’s jeans. “I’ll take good care of you, if you obey me. You want it, don’t you?”

There was a moment of silence.

“I’m sorry, is it too much? Not good? Would you like me to stop, precious?”

Soonyoung shook his head. “The sex is always… perfect.”

The gangster grinned broadly, and turned so that his lips were up against the man’s ear, encouraged. “You want me to make you cum so hard you see stars, right? You want me to hold your cock and finger your ass and make you moan. Soonyoungie, it’s very dirty of you, but I’ll do it if you ask me nicely. Hmm? What is it that you want?”

Soonyoung’s hand slowly traced down Seokmin’s body to palm him through his sweats, too. “Suck,” he mumbled, embarrassed.

“What was that, baby?”

“I want to suck.”

Seokmin chuckled, moving so he could plant his lips on Soonyoung’s again. “You’re adorable. You’re lusty and hot and _adorable._ ” He held the student tightly, kissing him until Soonyoung was entirely weak to him. “I’m going to take such good care of you.”

Soonyoung gripped Seokmin’s hand, suddenly dragging him along.

“Where are we going?”

“Sex is a lot more comfortable on a bed.”


	12. Chapter 12

Seokmin allowed himself to be lead back to Soonyoung’s bedroom: upon arrival, Soonyoung sat on the edge of the narrow bed, greedy hands grabbing Seokmin’s hips. He pressed his face against the crook of Seokmin’s hips, mouth hovering over the shape under the sweatpants. “Fuck,” the architect groaned, “I missed this.”

Seokmin’s warm hands stroked Soonyoung’s hair back gently. “I missed _you_ ,” he cooed softly. “Watching this is… what a treat. You spoil me.”

Soonyoung hummed, lips nibbling over the sweatpants, following the shape of the phallus loyally up and down. “I just like sucking cock a lot,” he smirked happily, fingertips moving to pull down the sweatpants slowly. “The fact that it makes you want to play with me more is just an added bonus.”

Seokmin would have responded, but Soonyoung’s thick lips were pressing against the tip of his cock, tongue dashing out to lick away any precum beading, and it was hard to think of a rational response. He just stroked Soonyoung’s hair gently as the architect went down on him, the boy’s fingers sliding the sweatpants to the floor as he took in Seokmin’s cock.

“Fuck, Soonyoung.”

He looked up innocently, driving down on his boyfriend’s cock erotically. The tip hit the back of his throat but he still hollowed his cheeks to suck gently, with a look in his eyes like butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth.

“Don’t stop,” Seokmin whispered.

He was obeyed; Soonyoung’s tongue slid against the underside of Seokmin’s cock as he sucked, driving up and down, increasing in speed before slowing down, teasing, tantalizing. He closed his eyes and moaned around the length, making broad strokes with his tongue when possible.

“Soonyoung,” an agonized whisper groaned. “I want to play with your body. Take off your clothes.”

Soonyoung slipped off his boyfriend’s cock with a little hesitance before pulling his clothes off, standing naked in his bedroom before forcing Seokmin to mirror him. “Fuck me,” Soonyoung groaned, making him pull off the sweatshirt. “Fuck me, _please_ let’s fuck.”

Once Seokmin was free he instantly went for Soonyoung’s mouth, tonguing him hard; his arms wisped around the student, cradling his head and back, making him weak. “Soonie,” he moaned darkly, “let me play with you first. It’s been _so_ long since I got to spank you… please?”

Soonyoung groaned a little – whether it was frustration at having to wait or arousal at the idea of being spanked, even he wasn’t sure, but he didn’t mind so much. “Seok _min_ ,” he groaned, a hand dipping down to jerk him off quickly. “You’ve never actually fucked me, _please?_ Don’t make me beg…”

Seokmin grinned. “I kind of like it when you beg.”

Soonyoung groaned, throwing his head back to allow Seokmin access to his neck. “Please?” he moaned, thumb lightly circling the head of Seokmin’s cock. “Please fuck me? I want to be fucked so badly. I’m dripping with want. There’s nothing I want more than…”

Seokmin’s soft lips came up to his partner’s ear. “Than?”

“ _Daddy’s huge cock inside me._ ”

Seokmin moaned in his lover’s ear, hands rushing to grip the boy’s cheeks naughtily. “Soonie,” he groaned, lips instantly trailing over new flesh. “Soonie, Soonie, Soonie…”

Within moments Seokmin was pinning his boyfriend down on the bed. “I love you,” he groaned between kisses, rutting his hips to bear down against Soonyoung’s. “Soonie, Soonie… I’m going to make you scream my name. I’m going to make you want me.”

Soonyoung groaned, grinding up towards his boyfriend. “I already want you,” he whimpered, greedy fingers digging into Seokmin. “I want you to- oh God.”

Seokmin’s lips had deftly found their way to Soonyoung’s cock, giving it an experimental lick that made the boy’s toes curl.

“Fuck,” he croaked.

“That’s my boy,” Seokmin growled, smirking to himself. “Make pretty noises for daddy.”

Another lick made Soonyoung whine – a third made him writhe, legs shaking with tension. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he groaned, giving up. “Just fuck me, please, _please_ , have you _any_ idea what this feels like? God, it’s so good, Seokmin, _please_.”

Seokmin’s large hands moved to grip his lover’s knees and with one swift movement moved them up around his shoulders; curious lips left Soonyoung’s cock to tremble to the crook of his thigh, bearing down on the flesh there, moving up. The boy whimpered and whined and gasped with every sensation as Seokmin took his time to gently worry his thick thighs away – sometimes with his lips, sometimes with a very light, gentle bite.

“God,” was all he could moan.

“I love your thighs,” Seokmin whispered, tongue running from the boy’s knee all the way back to his stomach in one fell swoop that made Soonyoung writhe a little. “So thick… so _pretty_ …” Seokmin’s mouth engulfed his partner’s cock as his fingers dug into his thighs, massaging them roughly.

“Fu-fuck.” Soonyoung had sweat dripping down his face, his stomach tense and legs shaking. “Seo-Seokmin,” he mumbled, voice a little weaker, a little more concerned. “I-I’m not gonna make it… I-it’s…”

Seokmin slid off his boyfriend’s cock with a loud slurping noise, making a show of licking his lips before glancing up. “Don’t you want to come? I got the idea you enjoy orgasming.” A lazy hand gently pumped the boy, making him squirm. “Does my baby boy not want to come for daddy? Even though I worked hard on sucking you off?”

Soonyoung let out a whimper louder than all others before, gripping the bedsheets in both fists. “I just – I just wanted to be fucked, daddy,” he whined, shaking. “Y-you promised you’d fuck me out…”

Seokmin smirked, his thumb wiping over the tip of Soonyoung’s cock casually, making him howl. “I did promise you that, didn’t I? Where do you keep the lube?”

Soonyoung’s right hand flailed to open a drawer, tossing a bright purple bottle. “Not too much,” he warned, giving Seokmin a dazed look.

The man gave his lover a look, flipping the cap open.

Soonyoung swallowed – hard. “I, uh… k-kinda get a kick out of… um… p-pain…”

Seokmin froze, glancing up.

Soonyoung bit his lip, freezing too.

“…that wasn’t on your form,” Seokmin stated coldly.

“…it’s a… recent discovery,” Soonyoung muttered. “Ignore it, never mind, it’s fine, pretend I never said anything.”

Seokmin leaned in slightly, face softening slightly as he took a small amount of lube. “…since _when_ did this discovery arise?”

Soonyoung blushed, bright red. “…y-you had a thing for spanking,” he admitted in a small voice. “…I think I do, too. And, uh… de-denial. While I’m admitting things.”

Seokmin inhaled deeply and slowly, setting the lube aside to hover over his boyfriend. “Are you trying to tell me,” he mumbled, “that spanking you, pinching your luscious thighs, and putting you in a cock cage so you can’t cum, _turns you on?_ ”

Soonyoung just gulped.

Seokmin moved one hand, using his two first fingers to slap the inside of Soonyoung’s thigh experimentally.

The architect squirmed instantly, biting his lip harshly in an attempt not to show how much it affected him.

“What else?”

“What?”

“What. Else.”

Soonyoung had to look away. “Uh, th-the way you uh, you um… di-dirty talk is really-”

Seokmin slapped him again and he squeaked, jumping a little on the spot. “What else?”

“Uh, I – I, uh…”

Seokmin’s fingers hit the inside of his thigh again, harsher, making Soonyoung breathe _very_ hard. “Uh-uh, bondage, a-and uh, I – I don’t know what else?”

Seokmin leaned in to Soonyoung’s ear. “What a _good boy_ you are, Soonie, for telling daddy that.”

Soonyoung squirmed, hands flitting up to slide up and down the shaft of Seokmin’s cock greedily, letting out a little gasp of relief. “Daddy,” he moaned, “d-do… is it good? Th-those kinks?”

Seokmin used his whole palm to slap the inside of Soonyoung’s thigh; the sound echoed in the room, it left a red welt and sting on his skin and best of all, made him whimper like a sex-deprived slut.

“They’re _naughty_ ,” Seokmin groaned, moving to create a hickey in Soonyoung’s skin. “Today I’m going to fuck you silly. Next time… we fuck at my place. And if you’re a good boy, I’ll tie you up and spank you until you’re pink all over.”

Soonyoung bit his lip, eyes glassy, hands still pumping. “P-promise?”

“Promise, baby. Condom.”

“Drawer.”

Seokmin leaned over to grip a condom out of the drawer and slid it on with relative ease, allowing Soonyoung to watch in lust and greed as he stroked himself slowly, coating the latex with lubricant. “Like what you see, baby boy?”

Soonyoung could only nod, a hazy look on his face as he was slipping further and further from reality, bent on one thing and one thing only.

Seokmin slid one well-lubricated finger into Soonyoung without warning, making him gasp; sweat running down his face, fingers trembling, already far too sensitive. “Fuck, daddy,” he moaned, throwing his head back, body arching. “Daddy, daddy please… I-I want your cock inside me, please daddy…”

Seokmin moved Soonyoung’s legs wide apart, surveying the boy’s ass. “So _fucking_ cute,” he mumbled, flicking a finger against the fleshy cheeks. “You’re such a little slut, baby.”

Soonyoung could only whimper his agreement.

Seokmin lined his cock up after a few more minutes of fingering, feeling the tightness around his tip already. “Are you _sure_ you want this?”

Soonyoung nodded quickly.

Seokmin slid in slowly, even taking a deep breath himself in surprise at just how _tight_ Soonyoung really was, holding the architect’s thick thighs in either hand to balance himself a little until his hips met Soonyoung’s flesh and he was buried to the hilt.

Soonyoung had actual tears running down his face in ecstasy, gasping for air.

“Are you okay?” he checked.

“There’s so _much_ ,” the boy whispered back, voice hoarse. “It feels so… _good_.”

Seokmin’s hips moved and snapped back up, and Soonyoung arched right off the bed with a moan, gripping the bedsheets like he was going to go crazy.

“Seokmin,” he groaned, “daddy, please, there’s _so much_ , h-how… oh, God, fuck.”

Seokmin just smirked to himself, slowly inching in and out of the writhing boy under him until they were accustomed to each other; when he had the room, he suddenly changed the angle and began to shift faster and faster until he was pummelling so hard it was hard to discern the movements. With every slide, Soonyoung seemed driven further into lust-driven craze, unable to produce more than an unending string of moans that were all his boyfriend’s name.

“Soonie,” the man murmured darkly, “cum for daddy.”

They locked eyes and Soonyoung just _came_ all over his own chest, releasing in short bursts of white with his jaw dropped as if he could see angels floating above him.

Seokmin’s knees almost gave out before his cock did but soon he was finishing inside his boyfriend, jerking his hips a few last times before finally collapsing a little on the end of the bed, gasping for air. It took a couple of seconds before he was able to dispose of the condom in the wastepaper basket by the bed and crawl back onto the bed, one arm curled tightly around Soonyoung.

“I really love you, you know,” he whispered, too low for the architect to hear it. “So, so much. Sorry I didn’t tell you so.”

Soonyoung was already asleep.

 

 

 

Soonyoung was snuggled up under the sheets, wearing a pair of soft white cotton briefs, slightly curled with his back against Seokmin’s chest, simply lying in dazed happiness as he returned to consciousness from his half-hour nap. Seokmin’s arm was pulled around his body, and his fingers were gently tickling up and down the back of it warmly. Seokmin moved now and then to kiss the back of Soonyoung’s neck, but other than that, they lay stagnant.

“Did you finish properly?” Soonyoung mumbled, sounding sleepy. “I was a bit too… preoccupied to check.”

Seokmin’s smile could be felt on the boy’s skin. “I finished properly, thank you. Did you enjoy yourself?”

“M-hm.” Soonyoung’s smile was just as broad. “I’m very… happy.”

“I’m glad.”

“Mmmm. You’re really warm, too.”

Seokmin chuckled, clutching his new boyfriend closer. “Have I been promoted to your personal hot water bottle? I’m honoured.”

Soonyoung snorted, chuckling to himself. “Shut _up_.”

Seokmin smiled happily, kissing Soonyoung’s shoulder for a while. “You know, you never answered my question.”

“What question?”

“Where you were all morning.” He buried his face in Soonyoung’s neck a moment. “I missed you. I felt like crap, too, for barging in on you last night like that.”

Soonyoung grinned to himself. “It worked anyway though, didn’t it? Got me to be your boyfriend.”

“Guess so, but you still haven’t answered the question. Do you just not want to tell me, or?”

“I had to hand in a paper,” Soonyoung grinned, turning so he could face his lover. “And then a professor needed to speak to me so I was late getting back. I’m sorry for making you anxious.” He tapped Seokmin’s noise lightly. “I didn’t mean to.”

“That’s alright,” the man grinned. “Worth it, in the end.”

“Speaking of anxiety, I bet Minghao’s about to go into cardiac shock, cause you’ve been missing since last night.”

“Oh, damn.” Seokmin sighed, lying on his back, face covered with one hand. “I need to call him.”

Soonyoung stretched over his lover to grab his phone off the bed stand, allowing his chest to be kissed in the process before calling Minghao on speed dial and handing it to his naked boyfriend. “Good luck.”

“ _Soonyoung?!_ ”

“Ugh, relax Minghao, it’s me.” There was something fascinating about watching Seokmin talk on the phone, naked, hair mussed, unshaven, between white bedsheets with nothing more on than a thick golden watch and two golden rings. “Yes, I’m fine. No, I don’t need to be picked up anywhere, I’m with Soonyoung. Yes. Yes. No. None of your damn business. I don’t know. That’s hard to say. Listen, did I miss anything very important while I was away? …well, I can sort that out when I get back. Okay. Okay, good. Thanks. Yeah, I’ll see you then. Uh…” Seokmin glanced over at Soonyoung, hand over the receiver. “Do you want to come over later? I need to make a phone call at the office but after that I’ve got time for a date.”

“A… date?”

“You know. Where two people hold hands and eat ice-cream and are cute with each other.”

“…sure.”

“I’m bringing Soonyoung with me. Don’t expect us within the next three hours, though.”

Soonyoung raised an eyebrow, waiting for Seokmin to get off the phone. “Three whole hours?”

“I still have an entire hour of cuddling you to do, at least.” Seokmin put the phone down and wrapped both arms around his boyfriend. “And I need to do it properly. Because my kinky-ass boyfriend is actually fluffy and mild and vanilla after sex and I need to take care of him properly so that he knows how precious he is. How precious he is _to me_.”

Soonyoung couldn’t help but grin, allowing himself to be reeled in. “What a sap you are, taking care of me. Thank you.”

“Hmm, for you, I’d probably do anything. I’m in love with you, you know.”

Soonyoung sighed, pressing his face against Seokmin’s thick shoulder happily. “You’re so different like this. I like it so much more. And look, no need for antacids. Promise you’ll be like this as much as possible around me?”

“Of course.”

“Thank you.”

“More than welcome.” Seokmin leaned in to kiss him sweetly, holding him close. “God, you’re cute. How did you get so cute?”

Soonyoung laughed. “You’re smitten.”

“I am,” he agreed with a happy grin. “You should have seen how I acted every time you left. Being smitten is worth it. Having you here in my arms… do you know how hard it was when you left? How much I missed you?” One of Seokmin’s hands moved to cup Soonyoung’s face gently. “How much I missed looking into these eyes, watching these lips talk, hearing your voice… what kind of hell you put me through, Kwon Soonyoung…”

“Was it really that bad? You missed me _that_ much? I would never have known.”

He simply nodded.

“Well that was your own fault then, wasn’t it, for being an emotionless ass.”

Seokmin laughed warmly, tugging his boyfriend closer. “Yeah, I guess it was. But still, I suffered. I wanted to come to you so many times… does this mean you’ll unblock me on your phone?”

“…yeah,” Soonyoung grinned.

“So, is there no problem, then? About me being a gangster?”

Soonyoung sighed slowly, thinking about it. “I don’t know. I mean… I feel a lot better about it knowing I’m not a personal victim of your villainy and that I’m not being used as a life-sized dildo. It’ll take me a while but… you know, as long as you stop killing people when I’m around… oh, I don’t know.”

Seokmin leaned in to kiss Soonyoung’s chin sweetly. “Don’t worry. I’ll do my best to make it alright. I’ll work hard for you, Soonie.”

He blushed, tucking his face away in Seokmin’s shoulder. “I like it when you call me that. It’s cute.”

The man laughed, fingers tracing over one of Soonyoung’s ears happily. “I’ll call you like that from now on.”

“Hey!” Soonyoung looked up, suddenly. “Why don’t you like it when I call out your name?”

“What?”

“You’re always telling me not to cry out your name. Why is it alright for you and not for me?”

Seokmin’s thumb brushed over the boy’s lips slowly as he stared for a while. “I don’t handle it very well when you’re crying out my name,” he mumbled. “When you cry out to me like that I… I want to own you, control you, consume you. I want to make you mine in every possible way. When you say my name or call me _daddy_ it’s… very _difficult_ … not to just grip you and have my way with you.” His fingers suddenly pulled on Soonyoung’s arms, grasping tightly. “Not to just kiss you and fuck you out… when you call out to me it’s always so desperate I…”

Soonyoung bit his lip a moment, trying to stop a grin spreading on his face. “It turns you on?”

“There are a _lot_ of things that turn me on, Soonie, it’s not a difficult task. I’m a naturally horny person.”

“I guess so. So if I…”

“If you _what_?”

“…if I, say, _wanted_ to be fucked and you weren’t letting up…”

Seokmin gave him a warning look. “Don’t.”

Soonyoung bit his lip for a moment before changing his expression to one of desperate need; his voice suddenly became hoarse, higher pitched and whimpering. His hands gripped Seokmin’s shoulders and he tilted his head back a little. “Seokmin,” he gasped, eyes almost closing. “Seokmin, daddy, _daddy_ , I-I… I want…”

“Soonyoung,” the next warning came, “don’t.”

Soonyoung bit his lip, giving Seokmin possibly the sluttiest look he’d ever created. “B-but daddy, I-I want to suck your cock so bad… Daddy’s hot, thick cock… streaming cum down my throat… I-I want it really badly… p-please daddy? Please can I suck you off?”

“Soonyoung.”

“Please, daddy? I-I’ll be a good boy and swallow everything, I promise… I-I’ll be a good little cum boy for daddy…”

“Oh my God,” Seokmin whispered once before suddenly gripping Soonyoung, propping him up against the headboard. “Fine, if that’s the way you want it. Don’t think I’ll go easy on you. Don’t call out to me and put ideas like that in my head…”

Soonyoung’s hands automatically moved to stroke his boyfriend’s half-hard cock, gasping hard, trying to contain his feelings. He was already _so_ turned on, and begging was only pushing him further into the subzone; the way Seokmin looked at him was almost frightening in its intensity, but thrilling in its passion, making his heart almost hurt the way it pounded in his chest.

“You want to be daddy’s cum boy?” Seokmin growled, pressing his hips up against his lover’s hands. “Do you want to swallow everything I give you no matter what?”

Soonyoung could only nod.

“Fine then.” Seokmin stood up on his knees, sliding Soonyoung’s hands off him with ease and directing his cock to the boy’s mouth, one hand on the back of his head. “Go on then, take it. You wanted daddy’s cock, right?”

Soonyoung rushed forward, lips opened, sucking diligently on the top before he was forced back by Seokmin’s bucking hips, head against the wall, being thrust into with surprising speed.

“Ah, God,” Seokmin groaned, sliding in and out with ease, “you’re fucking beautiful like this, you know that?”

Soonyoung looked up innocently, hollowing his cheeks a little even though he had no control over what was happening: he simply laid his hands on Seokmin’s hips and let his tongue curl along the shaft, moaning and groaning against his cock as much as possible.

“Fuck, baby,” he gasped, gripping Soonyoung’s head. “If I cum down your throat, you’ll swallow it all like a good little cum boy, won’t you?”

Soonyoung nodded and then Seokmin began to race in and out of his mouth so harshly he barely had time to breathe; when he came it was in long, thick bursts that the boy swallowed dutifully, trying not to choke as he was overwhelmed. Seokmin simply held his head in place as he sighed, holding his own head back, panting hard.

 

“You realize we just fucked twice in the middle of the day?”

Seokmin held the boy closer than ever before. “Is that okay?”

Soonyoung just nodded a little. “Very.”

Seokmin chuckled. “Seems like I’ll have my hands full, trying to please you. You’ve got a sexual appetite the size of Seoul, you know.”

“Sorry?”

“Oh, don’t be.” he leaned in to peck his lover’s nose. “I’m more than ecstatic. I’m going to fuck you out _so_ much, you have no idea. I didn’t know you were this horny.”

“Shut up,” Soonyoung muttered, trying to hide his blush in the pillows. “Don’t tease me. I can’t help it. I think we do well together.” He suddenly peeked up, a much more serious look on his face. “Do you not, um… think we’re… I mean, do you not enjoy it… w-with me?”

Seokmin frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Well, uh… if you don’t enjoy having sex with me then maybe it’s a bad idea?”

“What?” Seokmin almost choked over his own chuckles, hiding his face in Soonyoung’s neck. “I enjoy it. More than you know.”

“…are you sure?”

“Yes, of course. Why?”

“You don’t sound very convincing.”

“Maybe I’m too tired to be convincing right now. Have you considered that? Fucking you takes a lot of energy. Like all good hobbies.”

Soonyoung’s expression darkened a little at that, face sagging into the pillow to think about it.

“Soonie? What’s wrong?”

“It’s just a hobby?”

“It’s a hobby inside the parameters of our relationship. Other couples go customize matching phone cases or matching sunglasses or whatever, and we fuck. It’s just one part of our relationship and it’s very enjoyable.”

“Oh.” Soonyoung thought about that for a while more before feeling satisfied, giving a small smile up in return. “Okay.”

“Does that satisfy my prince?” Seokmin smiled to himself, leaning in to peck Soonyoung’s forehead. “It’s important that you’re always happy.”

“Prince?”

“Hm, you don’t like it?” Seokmin shuffled a little under the sheets, finger trailing over his boyfriend’s cheek gently. “You’re like a prince to me. Handsome, shining in armour on a white horse. Everybody says I run things as if I’m a king… so if that’s what I am, then you should be my Prince Consort. The most important man in my life.”

Soonyoung laughed, but he blushed a little too. “Don’t be so sappy. Oh my God. Where is this all coming from?”

“My prince, my beautiful, thick-thighed, pouty-lipped, mesmerizing-eyed prince,” Seokmin cooed, staring at him. “I love you, you know. I love you so much, Soonie. You’re my boyfriend now. The one I want to protect the most.”

“You’re an awful sap.”

“You don’t like it?”

“Who told you to stop?” Soonyoung pressed his face against Seokmin. “Being adored is fun.”

He laughed warmly, moving to press kisses over the boy’s face; eventually they just lay side-by-side, Seokmin staring at Soonyoung, Soonyoung deep in thought.

“I don’t know how often I’ll be able to come over, you know. I need to get a job, and it’ll take up all my free time.”

Seokmin scowled. “Don’t be silly. I’ll pay you.”

“What, you’re going to pay me to be your boyfriend?” Soonyoung’s tone got very sharp, very suddenly. “I didn’t realize it was that kind of relationship.”

“It’s not like that, you idiot, would you listen to me?” He leaned in for a peck before continuing. “I have plenty of money, and if you get another job, we’ll _never_ see each other. I know what hours you worked before we met. You barely had time to take a dump. If I had my way, I’d get you to move in with me, but I have a funny feeling that you won’t do that.”

“Correct.”

“So let me pay for your rent. It’s fun. It’s spoiling you.”

“It’s uncomfortable.”

“Aw, come on. Does that mean you won’t let me buy you Dolce & Gabbana sunglasses?”

Soonyoung pinched Seokmin’s arm, making a face at the laughing man in his bed. “Shut up. No, of course not.”

“Listen, enough of this.” He leaned in to kiss his boyfriend hotly. “I have somewhere I want to take you.”

“Ice-cream, right?”

“Before that. It’s… well, I think it would help you a lot. To understand, uh… some stuff. I think it will make our relationship easier… for you. And maybe… I think I’ll be happier if I can share it with you, too, but you have to keep it a secret.”

Soonyoung shrugged. “Sounds good to me.”

“…mind if we stop by my apartment so I can get proper clothes? And maybe grab some fried chicken before that? It’s probably already dinner time.”

“Agreed.”

 

Seokmin mumbled small directions in his boyfriend’s ear, leaning against him on the back of the motorbike; he spent less than ten minutes inside his building, able to shower and change clothes in absolute record-speed before getting back on, hugging his boyfriend tightly. “Missed you.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Soonyoung grinned. “Where to?”

“…the hospital.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: light angst. I say this because I added the tag "light angst". I added the tag because AO3 wouldn't accept the tag "well i dont really think there's a lot of angst but ok i see where you guys could see the angst and yall up in the comments saying there's no angst tag so there can't be any angst, so here u go its ur mandatory angst tag spoiler warning but honestly at this point yall reading an Arthur fic and you should know better than to not expect angst".

Soonyoung simply switched his bike into gear, but the ten-minute ride to the nearest hospital gave him time to prepare himself. Going to hospital meant sick people. And if Seokmin wanted to take him there, it meant it was important.

He could only pray Seokmin wasn’t sick.

It took him a while to manage an expression of steel. He simply tried to think _Mafia Seokmin Vibes_ and that seemed to work well enough.

Seokmin held his hand as he walked into the hospital; his steps became more hesitant with every footfall, facial expression hardening by the second. Soonyoung simply kept up, squeezing the man’s hand a little.

_Must be worse than I thought. Please, please don’t be sick._

Eventually the two moved to a far wing of the hospital and Seokmin slowed down more and more until he got to a desk, asking to sign in as a guest. Soonyoung didn’t bother eavesdropping and his boyfriend took him along until he finally stood entirely still, clasping both hands behind his back.

There was a large glass pane, lined with vertical blinds that stood open; Seokmin stared inside with an intensely stony look, jaw clenched.

Inside there was a boy on a bed. He looked like he was about the same age as Samuel; short-cropped brown hair, but eyes slightly wider than Samuel’s, skin slightly paler, lips slightly smaller.

“His name is Lee Chan,” Seokmin said lowly. “He’s seventeen.”

Soonyoung bit his lip, but felt like he needed to acknowledge that. “Same age as my brother.”

“He has Congenital Muscular Dystrophy, with spinal rigidity.”

“What’s that?”

“Means from the day he was born his muscles were weakening. It’s a defect in his DNA, he can’t help it. They continue to weaken more every day. It’s the worst in his spinal cord. One day his muscles will weaken until they’re just… _gone_.” The sound of Seokmin’s breathless whisper was haunting. “And he’ll be trapped in his own body, unable to move… unable to speak… unable to die. He’ll stay like that until he dies of starvation, or one of his major organs give out.” The shadow over Seokmin’s face darkened a little more, made him look a little more upset. “There’s no cure. They’re experimenting with gene therapy, but they’ve got nothing yet. Up until two years ago he was able to stay in the comfort of his own home, with a little help. But lately… it’s gotten _worse_.”

It was the complete dread, the utter defeat and emptiness in Seokmin’s voice that sent a cold shiver down Soonyoung’s spine.

“His lungs are failing, slowly. At first it could be controlled with regular asthmatic inhalers, but those only work when you’re awake to use them. Then he had to be moved here to the hospital, where they could keep an eye on him. Ventilate him in the middle of the night if it was necessary. His body is slowly shutting down, muscles destroying themselves cell by cell. One day it will just give up… and he’ll be gone.”

Soonyoung’s stiff gaze moved back to the boy in the bed. He was holding what looked like a tablet in his hands. Reading.

“That, or they find a cure and treat him. Either he walks out of this hospital on his own two, working legs, or he dies. Either way… until then, I bring in over eighty percent of their funds for the research, and the money to keep twenty-four hour watch on him. Until he walks out or dies, I need to generate that kind of an income. After that… then I can turn my company legal and lead a normal life as a regular guy.”

Soonyoung frowned a little.

“He’s my half-brother, Soonyoung. He’s my baby brother. My only baby brother. We have an astounding age gap. I became his sole caretaker when our father died. He was only six. I had to… I had to do _something_. I couldn’t just give up on him. He’s my _brother.”_

Soonyoung took a deep breath, images of his own little brother flitting across his face. “God,” he whispered, “I would die.”

Seokmin gulped, audibly. “Yeah. It’s not easy. But I… there’s nothing else for me to do. I can only be here, and… wait.” What Seokmin waited for he didn’t say, but the sentiment hung heavy in the air. “Lately my most uplifting prayers have been that his lungs give out in the middle of the night and he leaves in his sleep, rather than wait for him to still be alive, trapped in a body that doesn’t move, slowly dying of hunger.”

Then the boy in the hospital room suddenly looked up.

Seokmin’s entire face changed, beaming happily, full of sunshine. “There’s my kiddo!” he cried, throwing the door to the room hospital. “How’s my baby brother doing this fine evening?”

“Hyung!” The boy in the bed seemed to suddenly weigh ten pounds less, beaming a golden smile just like his older brother, from ear to ear. Shaky arms moved up to pull around Seokmin’s neck, giving him a thick hug. “You came to see me!”

“Of course I did, silly. I brought somebody I’d like you to meet, if that’s okay?” Both of them moved to look at Soonyoung, hanging awkwardly in the doorway. “I want you two to meet.”

“You never bring friends around,” the boy pouted as Soonyoung inched closer.

“Well…”

The boy in the bed wasn’t sure where to look, biting his lip nervously, obviously shy. “H-hi.”

“Hi,” Soonyoung smiled gently, “I’m Soonyoung.”

“Cha-Chan.” The boy cocked his head a little in surprise. “You can’t be a lot older than me.”

“I’m twenty-two.”

The boy looked at Soonyoung, and then at his brother before gasping loudly. “You two are _dating_!”

It was Soonyoung’s turn to be shy, and a bit embarrassed as Seokmin stammered a little in surprise. “We-well now, Chan, don’t you think that’s a bit-”

“Dude, listen.” Chan leaned in infinitesimally. “Hyung is too old for you, and you can do better.”

“Shut up, twerp,” Seokmin chuckled. “Don’t scare him off, I only _just_ got him to agree to be my boyfriend, anyway.”

Soonyoung had to laugh, watching them both. “God, you remind me of my kid brother. He’s your age, too. If he comes to Seoul someday, I’d better keep him away. You’d parent trap the two of us _apart_ if you could.”

“That would be _so cool_.”

“It really wouldn’t,” Seokmin complained, taking a seat on the edge of his brother’s bed. “What were you reading?”

“Dante’s Inferno.”

They spent about thirty minutes with the boy until visiting hours had ended; Seokmin simply led Soonyoung out of the building and pulled out a cigarette to light.

Soonyoung took a seat on a stone wall, sitting on his hands awkwardly, looking at the sky. “Seoul sky is kind of lousy,” he murmured, thinking out loud. “It’s just dark: no stars, no nothing. Just… dark. In Jeju… it’s like the whole sky is alight with promise and beauty and it _glows_.”

Seokmin blew out a hefty column of smoke. “You miss it, huh?”

“…yeah,” he mumbled softly. “Yeah, I miss it.”

Seokmin sat beside his boyfriend, cigarette in hand.

“You know… I have a very plushy life now. My legal guardians are rich, and whatever I want I can have. But… my life wasn’t always like that. I guess if dad and Jihoon hadn’t come along… I’d probably be doing what you’re doing, too.”

Seokmin blew out another column. “For somebody with rich parents, you don’t accept money easily. Why _is_ that?”

Soonyoung shrugged. “It’s a pride thing, I think. I probably have a few complexes. It feels… I don’t know, there’s a lot of bad memories.”

“You don’t have to be prideful around me.”

“I know. Now.” Soonyoung gently bumped his shoulder against his boyfriend’s. “I guess what I’m trying to say is… I can’t blame you. I’d fight God himself if it could save _my_ brother.”

Seokmin almost smiled. “I guess I should be thankful you can understand.”

Soonyoung’s expression was bleak. “A little too well.” When the silence fell, he felt like he had to explain, and sighed a little. “I don’t know what position my mother got into, having me, and I don’t remember much about the time before Samuel came along, either. But…”

Seokmin’s hand found Soonyoung’s when the boy choked up as he rested his face in one hand. He was given a light squeeze of encouragement.

“Our mother was… disregarded by her family, after getting knocked up with me by… some boyfriend. She ended up as a sex worker, a very poor one at that. I think we moved around a lot. I didn’t go to school, but sometimes people gave me books, and in between appointments she taught me to read, and write, and do maths. She tried really hard. We both did, but Samuel was only a little baby and she couldn’t take care of him all the time, it was too much. So I… helped out.

“At first I resented him, you know? I wanted to learn, I wanted to spend time with my mom. Like any four-year-old, I guess. But then this pink squishy thing came along and any time my mom _had_ was taken up taking care of Samuel. It’s weird to think of a small kid harboring _resentment_ but that’s what it was. But… when he mumbled my name for the _very first time_ , I… I was breathless. I cried, actually.” Soonyoung’s eyes filled up with tears, watching the smoke of Seokmin’s cigarette rise to the sky, reliving the memory vividly. “I couldn’t believe that this creature was a real _human_ , was saying _my_ name – he didn’t say _mama_ or anything like that, he said _my name._ My actual name. I was his big brother, and… I just knew I had to protect him.

“I don’t think it’s possible for him to remember, but when he was really little, he had a lung infection. I remember him crying and coughing for _days_ and _days_ , his tiny little face pink and swollen with the fever. I remember running the hot water in the shower and pacing wall-to-wall in there with him, in the hope that the steam would clear his lungs a little. We didn’t have money to see a doctor and get him medicine, and mom was too scared to ask her pimp for the money. He just… _cried_ and _cried_ , _on_ and _on_ , and I felt like I was going to break at the seams. He had only _just_ started talking. I remember him looking up at me, in my arms, face flushed and all teary-eyed. He said _Soonie, ouch, ouch!_ and I broke into tears right there because I couldn’t tell even my own baby brother he was going to be alright.

“On the fifteenth day she couldn’t take it anymore, and went to get the money. She was gone for five hours and came back with a black eye and blood on her temple, but she was all smiles, brandishing the money. She had clients to see, so I hurried my baby brother to hospital and got him medicine. They were the fifteen scariest days of my life, Seokmin. I can’t tell you how hard it was. I thought my baby brother was going to die.

“Samuel got better and I was happy again. I’ve never loved a person as much as I love my baby brother, you know. Then… mom got pregnant again, and the brief respite from darkness ended. When she had the baby… it was a girl. But… I guess Samuel was too young to remember the whole thing, he doesn’t even know we had a sister. But mom and I both knew… she couldn’t afford another child. She didn’t even really have the money to keep _us_ alive, really. The second night after our sister was born, I was up at midnight to get a drink… her door was ajar, and I looked in…”

A very long silence fell as Soonyoung’s heart beat rapidly, tears streaming silently down his face as he looked at the sky. Seokmin just kept smoking, holding his hand tightly.

“I watched my mom put a pillow on my baby sister’s face. She was crying, but she suffocated her own baby, fresh from the womb. She just… couldn’t afford to have her. She didn’t have the money. It wasn’t her fault, but… I was so sick, sick to my core. I couldn’t look my mother in the eye after it. I never found out what she did with the baby’s body, I never asked, I never… I don’t know. I was only six. I couldn’t have known any better, I guess. After that… after I knew what our mother was _capable_ of… I know she did it _for_ us, but man, if I wasn’t already protective of my brother.

“We moved the week after and a year later, mom died. She was found beaten dead on the street, and police managed to track her to our apartment. We weren’t even on the grid. We didn’t even have birth certificates. We spent a year in an orphanage, where things were definitely _better_ – three meals a day, warm blankets at night, clothes on our backs, other boys to be with, and we got to go to school, too. By that time Samuel was only four, so what I had taught him so far had been enough to keep him on par with his peers. I had to work doubly as hard in school to catch up to the other kids, but I didn’t mind. Because they were keeping us together.

“There _had_ been talk about separating us very briefly, but the decision had remained that we would stay together. Just as well. They would have had a fight on their hands.” Soonyoung smiled. “It took another year after that for our own Uncle to be tracked down, and… I thought we would be a family, but it didn’t work out that way. In the end, I resented how our uncle – our mother’s brother – couldn’t be assed to help his sister in her hour of need, how he had ditched us when we needed him. He had money, he had status – he could have saved us all. But he didn’t care for her, at all, or us. Told me so, directly, one night. Don’t get me wrong – he bought us fancy brand clothing and sent us to prim and proper schools and left money around for us to buy whatever food we liked all the time – but he didn’t care about us.

“His assistant and co-director liked us, though. And Samuel _really_ liked him. He tried, bless him, but… all I could think of was Samuel. I was scared to let him out of my sight. The idea that I might lose my only baby brother… the way I lost my only baby sister… was _painful_. I was angry at everything and everybody who came near him. I’d raised that boy, practically by myself, and I’d be damned if I let _anybody_ take him away from me.

“When our Uncle died, Seungcheol adopted us. He asked us if we’d like that, first: Samuel jumped for joy, and I wasn’t about to let him be adopted without me. Wherever he went, I would go. Seungcheol quickly decided he couldn’t take good care of us in the city, so he sent us to live with his cousin Joshua. He was really good to us, but I was just so angry and suspicious of everybody… before Jihoon came along.”

“The miniature murder machine,” Seokmin interjected.

Soonyoung finally grew a bright, broad grin. “Yeah, that’s the one. He wasn’t like all the others who tried to patronize me and coax me. He was… very straight with me. When he told me _he_ was a prostitute, I guess it shook me up a little. I started paying attention. I was able to let go of all my anger and resentment, over time. Went to some therapy. Took up various martial arts to vent all the pain and frustration. But… sometimes it still wakes me up at night. The vivid dreams. My baby brother’s feverish crying, the sight of my mother sobbing as she suffocated her baby, a lady’s voice proposing she take Samuel away from me… it scares me in the night, Seokmin. It scares me that one day my baby brother might not be around. That one day… I might not be able to protect him.”

Seokmin wasn’t sure what to say to that.

Soonyoung barked out a strange kind of laugh, wiping his face clear. “Listen to me, rambling on. To put it short, I know what it’s like to feel desperate for somebody you love. If my mom were still alive and we were with her, and Samuel got sick? Yeah. Yeah I’d join the mafia to save him. I’d let every man in your whole organization fuck me in the ass if it meant I could save my baby brother, and that’s the truth.”

Seokmin’s arm went around Soonyoung’s shoulders, allowing him to drop his head on the man’s shoulder. “Don’t worry, that’s not necessary,” he smiled. “Your brother is safe, your family is safe, and you’re safe with me.”

Soonyoung nodded once. “Sorry for dumping all this on you.”

“I don’t mind. You’ve had a hard time. Thank you for telling me.” He kissed Soonyoung’s hair once. “So, your little brother… he doesn’t know about any of this?”

Soonyoung shook his head, sitting straight again. “He remembers being in an orphanage, _vaguely_ , and the school we went to, but all the awfulness… all the _bad_ stuff… no, he doesn’t remember any of it. He doesn’t ask. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to tell him, either. Besides, it’s not his place to know. I don’t want him to have dark thoughts… dark memories…”

Seokmin nodded. “I understand.”

“I know you do.” Soonyoung nudged him. “Keep it up, I’ll fall in love with you quicker than you think.”

“Good,” Seokmin cheered, flicking his stub in the dirt. “I’d like it if you fell for me as fast as possible, please.”

Soonyoung had to laugh, shaking off the darkness of the memories he’d relived. He stood, and Seokmin followed. “I hear you, I hear you. Don’t you have to go to the office? I think it’ll be too late for an ice-cream date afterwards, though.”

“Right, the office. It’ll be a little late… maybe I can interest you in a breakfast date?” Seokmin’s hands slid to rest on Soonyoung’s hips. “I’ll cook you eggs.”

Soonyoung smirked a little, stringing his arms around his boyfriend’s neck. “Isn’t that usually what you cook for somebody you fucked the night before?”

He grinned. “I didn’t say we _wouldn’t_ have sex…”

Soonyoung grinned back. “Are we going back to my place, though? Because I only have a teeny tiny bed.”

Seokmin leaned in to whisper. “I have a king-sized bed,” he growled, “with bedposts and plenty of bondage toys.”

“…what are we waiting for, again?”

 

“Aw, jeez Minghao, get off my ass about it.”

“I can’t, I physically can’t.” Minghao’s eyes were twinkling a little with excitement, hands shaking a little as he pulled on Soonyoung’s jacket. “I _need_ to know.”

“Yes, alright? Yes, we fucked.”

“Yesssss.” Minghao punched in the air, jumping off his seat before sitting again. “What else? Aw come on, tell me! What else?”

“Minghao-”

“Aw come on! _Pwease_?”

Soonyoung sighed darkly. “Fine. He asked me to be his boyfriend and I accepted. Happy?”

Minghao’s jaw dropped a little, a silly, almost cute expression taking over for a few moments. “Boyfriend?”

“Ahuh.”

“With Storm God Lee Seokmin?”

“Yeah.”

His eyes bulged a little before he cringed, leaning away. “Man, you’re brave.”

“How so?”

“He’s scary.”

Soonyoung nudged him, leaning back in his chair. “Shut up. He’s not that bad. He’s… got a lot on his plate, is all. Let him live.”

“I don’t- sir!” Minghao suddenly stood to attention as Seokmin came out of his office. “There are some files-”

“I already signed them, they’re on top of the pile.” Seokmin sighed, harrowed-looking, his gritty stubble getting just as dark as the circles under his eyes. “Is there anything else important?”

Minghao bit his lip a moment. “Maybe you should go get some sleep, sir. It’s late.”

Seokmin’s glassy eyes slid over to Soonyoung, still sitting in his chair. “Soonie?”

“Yeah, I think I’d better drive you home before you fall asleep in the elevator,” he grinned tiredly, groaning as he pulled himself out of his chair. The boy clapped Minghao on the back twice. “I’ll text you, at some point.”

“Don’t patronize me like that,” Seokmin moaned, putting an arm around Soonyoung’s waist as he was led down the corridor. “I wouldn’t fall asleep in the elevator. I’d drop down here in the hallway.”

“That’s supposed to make me worry less?”

Seokmin almost fell asleep on the ride home; Soonyoung drove him back to his own apartment, fishing in his boyfriend’s pockets for his keys. Once he’d brought him up to the apartment, the man seemed to regain consciousness a little. “Lights,” he mumbled, hitting switches left and right. “Shoes…”

Soonyoung took off his shoes diligently and walked into the condo in absolute wonder; the space was huge and immaculately clean, almost unused in its cleanliness. Seokmin had it decorated in blacks, whites, reds and plenty of chrome: the white-washed wooden panelling gave way to a large white carpet in the middle of the living area that held a large red-lacquered coffee table, surrounded by black leather furniture. It spread out into the kitchen on the other side of the small entering hallway, and there was a wall at the far side.

“Dude,” he whispered, “this is huge. You have a chandelier. Like, an entire fucking _chandelier._ Dude. Dude, Seokmin. You have a _chandelier._ ”

Seokmin simply grabbed his boyfriend’s wrist, tugging him along.

On the other side of the wall sat Seokmin’s bedroom; a dark room dominated by the simply _enormous_ bed with real bedposts and drapes hanging from each corner, coming together in a high canopy. It was decked out in red silk and velvet, and it was obviously Seokmin’s target.

“I’m going to fuck you,” he mumbled through slow lips, thrusting Soonyoung towards the bedspread.

Soonyoung laughed as he landed on the throw, fingers sliding over the thick welts of maroon velour on either side. “You’re exhausted, I don’t think you’re going to fuck anybody.”

“Yes I am.” Seokmin’s eyes were half-lidded, but he spoke with such determination that it made Soonyoung grin even more. “Until you’re… begging…” He ducked down to place his lips against Soonyoung’s skin, and was snoring within seconds.

Soonyoung couldn’t help the warm smile spreading across his face. “Knew it,” he whispered. He gently moved Seokmin across the bed and tucked him in under the sheets, ignoring the man’s momentary bouts of wakefulness. It wasn’t until he was all tucked in that Seokmin’s hand shot out from the covers, gripping Soonyoung’s arm, albeit weakly.

“Stay,” he mumbled, eyes closed, voice thick and heavy. “Please?”

Soonyoung grinned, warmth spreading in his chest. The sweet voice seemed scared that he might leave. “Can I sleep beside you?”

Seokmin nodded.

The architect got rid of his jeans and then gently slid under the covers beside his boyfriend. The last thing to register was the softness of the pillows, and a warm arm embracing him.


	14. Chapter 14

When Soonyoung came to, lying on his stomach, almost entirely naked with his face full of downy pillow in silk sheets, he had to smile a little despite the relative coldness of the bed. He twisted a little, arm flailing out, but found nobody beside him under the duvet. He groaned for a while, warming up his vocal chords before he managed to speak. “Did I just get walked out on?”

“You did not,” a reassuring voice came from across the room. “I’m simply trying to make a decision.”

Soonyoung glanced over his shoulder before turning entirely under the covers to glance at his boyfriend, who stood at the end of the bed, holding a large black object in either hand. Seokmin hadn’t bothered getting dressed, having simply taken a shower and wrapped a towel around himself.

“…morning?”

“Morning.” Seokmin gave him a gravely serious look before glancing between the two objects.

“So, uh…” Soonyoung rubbed his face, clearing his face and sitting up a little. “What’s the decision?”

Seokmin sighed heavily, obviously torn. “Whether you look better in diamonds or pearls. Or silk ribbon, or leather. Or red rope, or white lace, or metal.”

Soonyoung frowned, rubbing his face more with both hands before looking up again. “What?”

“I’m trying to decide how I’m going to tie you up before I fuck you out.” His expression changed, becoming a little apologetic as he looked up again. “I promised you last night and didn’t make it in the end. I feel guilty. I want to make it up to you.”

Soonyoung groaned, flopping back onto the pillow.

It took him a moment. “Is something wrong?”

“I don’t know,” he moaned. “I feel like I’d rather wake up to an adoring boyfriend wanting to cuddle me, and then shower and maybe eat. I didn’t expect to wake up to you being so cold again.”

“Cold?” The word came out of Seokmin’s mouth strangely, as if he wasn’t sure how to pronounce it. “ _Cold_?!” Then Seokmin dropped whatever he was holding and rushed to Soonyoung’s side, sidling into the bed to grip the boy in his arms. “No, no, no, baby. Soonie, no, no, I’m sorry baby, I didn’t mean to be cold. No, no, you’re my precious boyfriend, I don’t want to be cold to you. Please don’t be upset. I’m sorry.”

Soonyoung’s lips curled into a small smile as he was cradled, held close to Seokmin’s chest. “That’s better.”

“I’m sorry, baby. I got preoccupied. When I woke up you’d slid the covers off your body and… I was distracted.” Seokmin held Soonyoung’s body close, pressing kisses into his hair. “I love you, I love you so much, please don’t be upset. I love you so much.”

Soonyoung mumbled a little, allowing himself to be cuddled for a while. “It’s okay,” he smiled against Seokmin’s shoulder. “Just try to remember it in the future.”

“Absolutely.”

“Does a cuddled Soonyoung get, I don’t know, maybe a good morning kiss from his boyfriend who loves him _so_ much?”

Seokmin beamed warmly, that goofy, gummy grin spreading across his face before he leaned in and kissed Soonyoung so softly it almost took his breath away. “Of course,” he whispered, a happy glint in his eyes. “I’ll kiss you like this every single morning for forever, if you’ll let me.”

Soonyoung could only stare in happy surprise at how warm and happy his boyfriend looked – so different from when they first met.

He leaned in for another kiss, this time letting his fingers stroke Soonyoung’s hair off his face, leaning in a little; the sensation was so warm and soft that Soonyoung felt like he was melting away, becoming soft too. Seokmin’s tenderness seemed to seep through his skin, turning his bones to jelly and his mind to mush: he felt like he couldn’t possibly move away, even if he wanted to. Seokmin was too gentle, too tender, too soft and happy, and the mood was infectious. His lips were too soft, too smooth, too sweet; his hands were too greedy, too gentle, too demanding. It was absolutely intoxicating, and Soonyoung eventually had to halt the kiss to come up for air like a diver.

“What’s wrong?”

“Breathless.” Soonyoung took a few heaved sighs of air, staring at the ceiling.

“Sorry. Kissing you is just so much fun.” Seokmin turned to kiss his boyfriend’s cheek, moving on to kiss his temple sweetly. “I love kissing you. You’re so cute when you’re just awake and your voice is all thick and sleepy and your eyes aren’t really open yet, and you’re wriggling between the sheets and your hair’s all messed up. _So_ cute. I get so distracted just looking at you.”

“You’re such a sweet-talker.” Soonyoung turned back to him. “I bet you lure in _all_ the boys.”

“Just one, really,” he grinned back. “My favorite.”

“For now.”

The smile disappeared. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Soonyoung shrugged. “What if you get bored of me?”

The smile reappeared like magic. “I don’t think that’s going to happen. I like you too much. I just want my Soonie to have everything he wants. Besides, you think I’d introduce just anybody to my brother? He’s not just my brother, it’s… you know, if any of my uh, _competitors_ found out that he was connected to me, my weak spot, I uh…”

Soonyoung nodded. “Yeah, okay, I get it.”

Seokmin’s fingers stroked the architect’s cheek softly. “Don’t look so worried. I’m not going to leave you. You’re my boyfriend. I’ve never had one and I don’t plan on having another.”

Soonyoung blushed wildly, flailing out of his lover’s arms. “You’ve never had a boyfriend?”

Seokmin shrugged. “It just… always fell out of parameters for me. I had other things on my mind. Until you came along.”

“Uh, wow.” Soonyoung stared at the man with a whole new image in his mind. “Wow.”

Seokmin laughed. “It’s not that weird, right? Don’t be upset.”

“I’m not upset, I’m just surprised.” He snuggled closer again. “I can’t believe there haven’t been any young men who took one look at you and tried to seduce you into being theirs.” With that, Soonyoung gripped Seokmin, pressing him into the sheets and straddling his lap. “Like a wild animal. I can imagine _a lot_ of people wanting to do that to you.”

“Oh you can, can you?” Seokmin raised an eyebrow happily, hands resting on his boyfriend’s hips.

“I’m going to take a shower and borrow your clothes, too.” With that Soonyoung flippantly swung over his boyfriend’s lap to stand on the ground, heading towards the far door. “Through here, right?”

“I’ll go buy you clothes while you’re in.” Seokmin shook his head a little to himself. “You won’t like what I’ve got.”

Soonyoung’s head poked out of the bathroom again. “Why, what have you got?”

“Black suits. Aaaaand black suits. And black suits, and also-”

“Got it, thanks babe.”

It wasn’t until Soonyoung was already in the shower that Seokmin could react to that, blushing darkly and giggling to himself. “He called me babe.”

 

When Soonyoung emerged – squeaky clean – with droplets on the ends of his hair and a towel loosely draped around his hips, Seokmin simply stared at him from head to toe and back up, the plastic bag in his hands falling to the floor.

“You got me clothes? You’re really fast you know.” He pushed off the doorframe, sauntering towards the bag. “Did you take my size from the label of my old clothes?”

Seokmin simply nodded, Adam’s apple bobbing up and down gently.

“Thanks. You’re the best.” Soonyoung almost leaned in for a kiss before clocking the look he was getting. “Um, yes?”

Seokmin motioned at his boyfriend with an open palm. “Eh, um, eh… wet?”

Soonyoung froze.

“God, you’re…” Seokmin shuddered noticeably, unable to take his eyes off Soonyoung’s collarbone. “L-look at you.”

 “Uh?”

“Can I? Please, can I?” Seokmin’s fingers stretched out hesitantly, shaking in the air. “I-I want to… fuck, Soonie, I want to…”

“What?” Soonyoung stepped forward, putting his arms around his boyfriend. “Seokmin? I don’t understa-”

Seokmin’s lips met his and he couldn’t struggle; the emotion behind them was so strong it almost bowled him over. Seokmin’s kiss was as desperate as it was exhilarating, and large, greedy fingers made their way over Soonyoung’s skin, leaving trails of burning flesh in their wake. He was wild but needy, consuming in his heat, shaking with excitement and anxiety. Seokmin was _desperate_ to touch Soonyoung, arms creeping around him tightly, pressing the planes of his chest against his own. There was a tinge of frenzy about the kiss, as if he was scared it would end too soon: Soonyoung had to calmly back away for a moment, smiling. “Hey…”

The look Seokmin gave him was unnerving. It was a look of anxious trepidation. He seemed… almost afraid of what Soonyoung would say. He was _nervous_.

Soonyoung gave him a slow smile, arms resting on his boyfriend’s shoulders stretching languidly. “Relax. We have all the time in the world.”

Seokmin broke out into a nervous smile. “Do you promise?”

“Yeah, I promise.” Soonyoung smirked, turning away from his boyfriend to saunter towards the bed, allowing his towel to slide from his hips on the way. “Coming?”

The man wasted no time in following his boyfriend to the bed, staring at him as he lay on the sheets on his stomach. “I still don’t know.”

“Know what?”

“What you’d look best in.” Seokmin gripped Soonyoung’s face, angling it up towards him. “I was thinking diamonds, because like them you’re hard and angled… but you’re wild, like a tiger, and look at those eyes – so fierce. I think if I tied you up in something softer, it would frustrate you _that_ much more.”

Soonyoung’s jaw dropped and a shiver when down his spine as he looked up with half-lidded eyes, gasping slightly.

“That’s my good boy,” Seokmin whispered, moving to the end of the bed to retrieve a very long band of white silk ribbon and a slightly shorter string of creamy pearls.

“ _Seokmin_ ,” he whispered, unable to make a more coherent sentence.

“Don’t cry out to me like that,” came the only reply. Seokmin looked up with a new kind of darkness in his eyes as he crumped the ribbon in his fist. “Don’t make that desperate sound.”

Soonyoung bit on his lip, gnawing on it slightly as he came closer: the feeling of silk ribbons gliding over his back made him gasp and shudder, moving slightly to look over his shoulder. Seokmin wrapped the white silk around his lover’s wrists a few times before tying a neat bow, locking the boy’s arms tightly behind his back. His fingers trailed over Soonyoung’s skin like it was completely new to him, tips gliding over his golden arms to his shoulder.

“ _Fuck, Seokmin,_ ” came a desperate whimper.

“Don’t call my name like that,” the rough whisper replied. “Don’t be desperate for me, don’t moan to me, don’t make me want to _ruin_ you before I’m ready to.” The fingertips slipped from shoulder to neck to head, sliding over Soonyoung’s thick lips, gliding down the flush of his neck, leaving him trembling and sighing already.

The boy looked up desperately, allowing his lip to slip from under his teeth, already struggling a little against the ribbon that kept his hands confined.

With a simple push Seokmin pressed his lover onto his back, revealing a semi-hard cock between his legs; Soonyoung whimpered and scrambled on the sheets, tossing his head a little against the cold, writhing to free his bound hands. “Seokmin, daddy, please…”

A cruel smile played on his face as his fingertips began at Soonyoung’s collarbone, slowly rubbing down his chest. “Baby? Was there something you wanted?”

He bit his lip harshly, body on fire, already sweating. “Da-daddy… i-it’s… please touch me…”

“Where, here?” With a grin Seokmin’s fingers curled around the architect’s cock, taking a strong hold as he moved up and down once, scrutinizing the shapes Soonyoung made in return. The man squirmed and writhed, chest heaving with gasps as he tried to twist out of the ribbons, fingers tearing into the sheets, delighting his lover. “Your body is so… _pretty_ …”

Soonyoung’s eyes seemed to roll back into his head a little, the sensation of Seokmin’s gentle hands taking such a strong hold sending shivers down his spine. His chest was heavy, there was fire in his gut and all the while he seemed to be slipping away from reality, driving down deep, losing the ability to think rationally. “Seokmin,” he rasped, bucking his hips off the sheets, “Daddy, it feels _so_ good, fu-fuck.”

Seokmin smirked, moving until he lay in front of the boy, head between his legs, lazily twisting his hand over his cock lightly. “You’ve got such a pretty cock,” he mused, rubbing his thumb over the tip. “Thick and heavy… and you say it feels good when daddy manhandles you like this? Is it a turn-on for you, baby? That’s so _dirty_ , so _naughty_ … you look like you’re thinking naughty things, Soonyoungie. I wonder what kind of a face you’ll make when I suck your pretty cock?”

Soonyoung’s bottom lip dropped at the idea, cheeks flushing: soon the man slid a tongue up the underside of his cock, softly and slowly, hot and soft and _so wet_ , and the sensation made him tremble. It was all he could do to keep his hips bolted to the bed when Seokmin’s mouth slid down over his cock, encasing him in all that wet warmth, moving so slowly his legs trembled. He simply held Soonyoung’s thighs up a little, one in either hand as he played his tongue over his cock until he let out a desperate keening sound, unable to speak for a moment.

“Daddy, p-please, fu-fuck me properly? I-I want it so badly, please?”

Seokmin didn’t answer: he simply slid off his boyfriend and reached for the string of pearls, draping them delicately around the length of Soonyoung’s hard cock in an intricate pattern, creating a cock ring with relative ease before throwing the end of the string over Soonyoung’s head, around his neck. “There… look at that. Isn’t it pretty?” He smiled, tapping the free head of his lover’s dick, watching it react, tied up in pearls. “I think it’s pretty.”

“Daddy, please, fuck me,” Soonyoung begged, panting. “Please let me go and fuck me, p-please, I-I want it so bad.”

“I have better ideas for you,” he smirked back. One drawer by the bed opened to show an assortment of glass objects: Seokmin selected a clear tube, sculpted exactly like cock, and played with it between his hands as he slid to sit in Soonyoung’s lap. “I haven’t used this one yet. I’m keeping it for a special occasion.”

Soonyoung just looked up in desperation.

“Like making my boyfriend suck on it while I watch him become more and more desperate for the real thing. Open wide, baby.”

“I-it won’t fit,” Soonyoung whispered.

“It’s smaller than me, and you enjoy sucking _my_ cock an awful lot.” Seokmin rested the tip of the glass against Soonyoung’s lips, rolling it over them slowly. “Will you do it for daddy? Your oral fixation is so dark, I love playing with it. I want to break your mouth open and make you _want it_.” Seokmin’s free hand moved to rake over his boyfriend’s cock, allowing the pearls to roll over his skin, clattering against each other, creating a sensation that made Soonyoung’s whole body writhe. “If you’re good, I’ll fuck you until you cry.”

His mouth slowly opened, almost as if he had no control over it: the glass slid between his lips slowly as Seokmin leaned in, gently pressing the glass dildo into his mouth. He slid further and further as Soonyoung’s mouth opened more and more, the end of the toy gently  twirling until he made a high-pitched whimper, eyes half-lidded, jaw slack.

“Beautiful,” he whispered in awe, twirling the glass cock with ease. “You look so beautiful, Soonie.” He pressed the glass gently, sliding it this way and that, Soonyoung responding to the stimulation with a series of moans that were almost too slutty to be real.

Seokmin sat back with a dark smile, watching the boy almost fuck his own mouth: he was a perfect candidate, entirely focussed on the glass, cheeks hollowed, lips swollen, fingers enthusiastic. He moaned almost constantly, the vibration of it quickening the pace of Seokmin’s heart as his thoughts became a little darker, a little kinkier, a little sluttier. He could only hear his boyfriend’s moans, only see his lips, and he wanted _more_.

Within moments Seokmin undressed, pressing his cock up against the pearls around his boyfriend; the rolling of the smooth beads sent chills up and down his spine, making him grunt in unison with his boyfriend. “ _Fuck_ , you’re delicious.”

Soonyoung was pliable, soft, as if he had no more will. When Seokmin pulled the glass toy from his mouth, his jaw stayed slack, eyes unfocused. “Seokmin,” he whispered, throat rasping, “p-please don’t tease me, I – I don’t think I can…”

Seokmin leaned in with a dark look, pulling his lover in close. “Soonyoung,” he growled lowly, “you are _not_ allowed to cum until I say so. I’ll be so deep inside you, you won’t know where your body ends and mine begins. Do I make myself clear, baby?” His nails scraped the undersides of Soonyoung’s thighs, the sensation making the boy gasp. “I’m going to make you feel your whole body exploding… skin flaming… cock leaking…”

Soonyoung let out a whimper of pure lust.

Seokmin’s long fingers moved, pulling the boy around with ease. “Sit,” he commanded. “Like I taught you. That’s right, baby.” His voice coaxed Soonyoung with ease. “That’s right, up on your pretty little knees, ass out… that’s my baby boy.” He stroked Soonyoung’s hair gently. “You’re delicious, you know that? You know what happens to you when you’re delicious, don’t you?”

The first slap made a sweet echo against the walls: the second made Soonyoung moan out, not in pain but in rapture. Seokmin warmed his palm against his ass, rubbing the delicate skin there slowly. “Does it feel good, baby?”

Soonyoung was choking on his words, trying to get them out. “Y-yes, daddy.”

“Your butt is so pretty, Soonyoungie.” Both his hands now moved, playing with what was up for offer: long fingers made even longer strokes, simply gliding over Soonyoung’s pale skin. “Your whole body… it’s indecent of you.” Another smack had the boy writhing, begging to be released, hands struggling against the soft ribbon tied around his wrists. “Do you want to be fucked?”

“ _Please_ ,” came the broken reply.

Seokmin had lube in his hands within seconds: the temperature was cold, making both of them flinch when one long finger slowly made its way inside Soonyoung’s body. The boy made a sigh of relief, moaning slowly at the sensation: his legs simply spread wider and wider, welcoming it in.

“You prepared yourself,” Seokmin mumbled, finger curving. “In the shower.”

“M-hm.”

Seokmin leaned in to give his lover a small kiss on the lips. “That was very naughty,” he whispered happily. “I’m going to have to fuck you so much harder now.”

Soonyoung whimpered once more, head lifting off the pillows: Seokmin leaned in again, sliding his tongue into the boy’s mouth roughly. It was hot and wet and _soft_ , and strong, and the feeling of it made them both impatient.

“Fuck me,” Soonyoung gasped, pulling away for air.

Seokmin’s fingers shifted harshly into his body, making him cry out – the architect was studied, face enraptured as he writhed in both pain and ecstasy, with his full, pink lips muttering Seokmin’s name over and over, pleading and begging for more. Seokmin added a third finger into his partner, watching the boy’s chest heave with the pressure, fingers clenching on his back.

Soonyoung could only stare, slack-jawed and panting, waiting for reprieve.

Slowly, Seokmin removed himself from the bed and thus from Soonyoung’s body: he stood by the bed, raising both arms. “Do you want to take off Daddy’s clothes yourself?”

Soonyoung struggled harshly against the white ribbon around his arms, to no avail.

“No, baby. You’ll have to use your mouth.” A cruel smirk played on his lips as be undid his cuffs. “I’ll do the shirt if you undo Daddy’s pants.”

Soonyoung licked his lips hungrily, eyes slowly feathering down to settle on Seokmin’s crotch, sliding forward on the bed until he sat there on his knees, mouth inching forward. With a single hand, Seokmin guided him, stroking the boy’s hair when he finally made contact. “Oh, what a good boy,” he praised lowly. “Do you feel how hard Daddy is?”

Soonyoung’s lips slid over the material, outlining the shape behind them, making Seokmin smile. Within moments he was unbuttoning his shirt as Soonyoung worked an as-yet unskilled tongue and mouth to undo the button and zip – before the waist had fallen all the way to Seokmin’s knees, Soonyoung was sucking him through his briefs, tongue slicking against the cotton shamelessly.

Seokmin’s hand returned to his hair, stroking him gently. “Soonyoungie,” he whispered, letting his head rest back, “that feels amazing.” Soon it became too much – the little moans the boy cried out, the wet feeling of his underwear, the sight of Soonyoung’s hands bound on his back just over his ass – it was all too much. “Soonyoung, you’re going to ride Daddy’s cock.”

The boy looked up, eyes clear and bright as day as he gulped. “R-ride?”

Seokmin opened his drawer to grip a condom, sliding out of his remaining clothes and gripping the sheets beside his lover. “That’s right. You’re going to fuck yourself on my cock. You’ll like that, right?”

Soonyoung just gulped, licking his lips again.

Seokmin moved a little, sitting up against the headboard, stroking his cock while Soonyoung watched helplessly, tied up and leaking, the pearls around his cock entirely drenched in precum and sweat. “Does it look nice, Soonyoungie?”

Soonyoung was barely part of the world, anymore – he couldn’t think of anything else, wanted to please and be pleased.

“Sit on Daddy’s lap, baby.” Seokmin pulled the boy roughly until the pearls were clattering against the latex of the condom, making them both shiver. “Kiss me, Soonyoungie. Like you want it.”

Soonyoung whimpered and moaned, lips impatient, tongue darting into his boyfriend’s mouth – he was sloppy and distracted, sliding further forward with every smack of his lips.

“You’re messy,” Seokmin commented, grinning. “Do you want me that bad?” A finger slid up to play with one of Soonyoung’s nipples, forcing the boy to sit straight in shock. “Oh? Is it sensitive, baby?”

Soonyoung’s face said it all – dishevelled, desperate, flushed pink.

Seokmin’s face moved to slide his tongue over the nub, eliciting a hitch in Soonyoung’s breath: he was instantly spanked from the back, making him howl. “That’s what bad boys get, for being so slutty,” a deep voice commanded, lips sliding over to the boy’s right nipple. “Are you going to make more slutty noises?”

Soonyoung moaned – loudly and indecently, earning him another harsh spank, ecstasy spreading on his face.

Seokmin’s fingers moved to line his cock up with Soonyoung’s ass: a tight fit, but it would be worth it. “Do you want to feel it, Soonyoungie?”

Soonyoung never answered – he simply bore down, slowly, hissing and moaning, the pleasure and pain twisting into a heated spiral of sensitivity running up and down his spine.

“You’re so pretty,” Seokmin fawned in an awed whisper. “Especially when you’re desperate to cum.”

“Seokmin, daddy, I- it’s so _much_ …”

“Take your time, baby.” Seokmin’s long fingers created gentle strokes up and down the rings of pearls that constricted his lover’s cock. “We’ve got all the time in the world. All the time to slowly fuck you out, fuck you until you’re crying, fuck you until you forget your own name.”

Soonyoung choked a little, heaving his thighs to slide up and down just a little: Seokmin held his waist, helping him.

“Fuck.”

“Does it feel nice? Fucking yourself on my cock? Knowing I own your body?”

“Y-yes…” He tried again, swooping down a little harder, letting himself moan it out – the sound was so pleasant, it simply made his partner smile. He was entirely exposed, shoulders pressed back with the ribbon around his wrists, cock bound in pearls, thighs shaking, mouth open.

“Good boy. Hold still.” Seokmin simply held the boy’s waist and bucked into him.

Soonyoung whimpered in pain and then exhaled in pleasure, confused but aroused, sweating, shaking with lust.

Seokmin’s hips started a slow thrust, inching in and out of his boyfriend at an agonizing pace, making the boy whimper and beg. It was delightful, brilliant, dark desire dripping from his mouth, and it was decadent.

“Faster,” Soonyoung begged, voice rasping against his throat. “P-please, I want it faster…”

“Then try it yourself.”

Soonyoung obeyed readily, chest heaving as he tried to gasp enough air: he slid up and down, slowly at first then faster and faster, working at a steady pace as his moans became louder, whimpering throughout, throwing his head back in pleasure.

“Is it nice, baby?” Seokmin couldn’t take his eyes off the gleaming Adonis, tanned and wet, fucking himself indecently. “Are you enjoying it?”

“ _Mmpf, daddy, I- I want to cum._ ”

“Oh?” Seokmin had to work to stay from gasping himself, enjoying himself a bit too much. “What’s the magic word, baby?”

“ _Please!_ ”

Slowly, row by row, Seokmin untied the pearls around his lover’s cock, making sure to fondle what skin was exposed with every layer, until he simply massaged the string of pearls off him entirely, slowly stroking his pink cock. “Baby wants to cum?”

Soonyoung slid down on his boyfriend’s cock, working hard not to scream. “Please, please daddy, I want it so much… I’m such a good boy…”

“…then you’d better be a good boy, and cum properly in daddy’s hand.” With one hand he steadied the boy, and the other gently jerking on his cock he began to ram into Soonyoung’s body at a new angle that made him shout out. A few more seconds bore an orgasm he almost cried right through, jerking and bouncing and gushing everywhere.

Seokmin came quickly after, but Soonyoung almost didn’t notice: he was busy floating, moaning and muttering as his body was gushing with endorphins. It was a while before he was back in the real world, and by that time he was lying on the bed in a horizontal position, hands freed from their bonds, Seokmin beside him.

“S-Seokmin?”

“Soonyoung.” One arm went around his back, another creeping under his hip to bar him to Seokmin’s body. “Shhhhh, shhhh.”

Soonyoung simply closed his eyes a moment, tucking his head into the alcove his boyfriend provided, pressing his ear against Seokmin’s chest to listen to his heartbeat slowing down. It was a moment of ultimate rest and peace, of soft comfort and calm delight.

“I love you, you know.” Neither of them was sure how much time had passed, but Seokmin’s lips gently brushed Soonyoung’s hair in repeated soft kisses. “I love you, Soonyoung. I love you so much.”

“We need to learn how have sex faster, ‘cause this is taking a huge chunk out of my day.”

Seokmin snorted, letting it tail off into a chuckle, lips gently coming down the boy’s forehead. “I don’t know. I kind of like it. I have a thing for your body. It’s a spectacle to be savoured. I love you so much, Soonyoungie.”

Soonyoung smiled a little, allowing his lover to press kisses all over his forehead with his eyes still closed. “I like this so much,” he sighed happily. “Never go back to being a boss with the mafia. I don’t like that Seokmin. I like this Seokmin. This Seokmin is the best.”

Seokmin’s lips trailed over his temples, following the architect’s cheekbone before kissing the apples of his cheeks over and over. “You’re precious.”

“My butt hurts. I won’t be able to sit right for a week.”

Seokmin broke out into giggles, keeping his lips near Soonyoung’s milky skin. “I’m sorry, Prince. I won’t spank you for a few weeks, how’s that?”

“ _Noooo_ , don’t say that.” Soonyoung grinned a little, leaning up for a sweet peck to the lips. “You’re a good spanker.”

The man just stared, happy and simple, stars in his eyes as he stared back at Soonyoung.

“Well.” He sighed, leaning back. “All good things _must_ come to an end. I’m leaving next week.”

“Excuse me?”

Soonyoung groaned, placing a hand over his face. “Ugh, my professor was contacted, there’s a team in Yongin who are doing a special project and they wanted him to suggest a student to help with the design. He asked me. It’s a good project their doing, it’s an art gallery.”

Seokmin cuddled up. “Do you _have_ to go?” he mumbled, looking more like a kicked puppy than ever before. “I’ll miss you so much.”

“I don’t _have_ to.” Soonyoung turned to his boyfriend. “But it’s a really good opportunity for me. I’ve been slugging around University for a while and I haven’t had an opportunity like this, ever. It could really get my name out there before I even graduate, and to have my name tagged to a building is good exposure. I’ve been wanting to design my own building for a really long time, and this could be the one thing I need to jumpstart my career. It’s… it’s important to me.”

With a resigned look, Seokmin took the boy’s hand, pressing a kiss against it. “If it’s all that, then you definitely have to go. Do you know how long you’ll be gone for?”

“About a week and a half for the initial designing, and then once they’ve finished laying the groundwork for the building I’ll be asked around for about two weeks, and then you know, off and on to keep up with the work.”

“So, a week and a half from next?”

Soonyoung nodded.

“Good! Then you’ll be home just in time.”

He paused before asking. “Just in time for _what_?”

Seokmin shuffled out of the bed, not bothering with clothes as he opened a drawer and pulled out a white envelope. “When you left, I wasn’t sure if you would still want these. I was wondering if I should send them to you. It got worse after… after the storm.” He looked up, suddenly. “I never properly thanked you for that. There’s… there’s never been a time I needed you so much, and to have you there was…”

“My pleasure. What’s in the envelope?”

Seokmin handed it to him, curling under the covers again.

“Plane tickets? To Jeju? -Seokmin?”

“You don’t remember? I wanted to buy you something superfluous, and you said a trip back to Jeju to see your family.”

“…there’s two tickets.”

“Yeah, I thought you might take a friend. That tall guy you live with seems like he’d be fun to take.”

Soonyoung fingered the tickets a moment before looking up. “Could I take… could I take anybody I wanted?”

“Of course. Anybody my Prince wants.”

“Could I… maybe, maybe take… my boyfriend?” He gulped, suddenly feeling like he had to explain. “I mean, I know it’ll take you away from work for a really long time and stuff, like a whole week, and you don’t have to come, I don’t even know why I suggested it, if you don’t want to come, or you don’t want to be with me that’s fine, you don’t have to meet my family, it was just an idea, because after all you-”

He moved so slowly, but gently, pressing his forehead against Soonyoung’s, hands resting on the boy’s shoulders.

“…Seokmin?”

“You… want to take me home?”

“…is-”

“You want me to meet your parents?”

Soonyoung wasn’t sure what the correct reaction to that was: and then he was being kissed, fiercely, lovingly, brightly. Seokmin couldn’t stop kissing him, tongue threading in and out excitedly, lips drifting and changing over and over, the man’s fingers shaking.

“Really? You want it to be me? You’ll share it with _me_? Somebody like _me_? I get that honor? Are you _sure_?”

“Of course.” And happily, Soonyoung began to laugh. “It’ll be romantic.”

“I love you, Prince.”

He giggled again. “Come here. Let me kiss you.”

 

Soonyoung bit his lip anxiously, staring at the center of Mingyu’s forehead. There was a vein there, prodding with every heartbeat, punched out against the red background of his skin. He was pretty sure it was going to pop, spouting blood all over the house.

“You’re trying to tell me I sat in this house for _hours_ talking to _Vito Don Corleone_ who is now your _boyfriend_ , **_about him_** _,_ and you didn’t have the decency to tell me until an entire _week_ later?”

He cringed. “Yeah… yeah I did do that.”

“How could you _do_ that to me, Soonyoung?! I thought we were _friends_!”

“Mingyu, you’re my _best_ friend,” Soonyoung answered guiltily. “And I’d be totally lost without you. I’m sorry, I meant to tell you earlier. It’s just – it’s been a little hectic lately.” The doorbell went and both men stood straight. “Can you get it?”

“Oh sure, just allow me to go and let the _motherfucking mafia_ in through the door.” Mingyu stomped off to the front door, letting Seokmin in, who made his way directly to Soonyoung’s bedroom.

“What’s his problem?”

“It’s a long story. Hey you.”

Seokmin’s dark look and heavy brow melted away when Soonyoung threw his arms around his neck: he glowed a little under the attention, beaming lightly. “Hello, Prince.”

Soonyoung kissed him sweetly for a moment before sighing. “I’ll miss you.”

“Me, too, but remember: you want this. You told me so yourself. It’s important to you.” The man pecked his boyfriend on the nose. “The least I can do is take you to the station. Are you all packed?”

“Almost.” The architect threw a thick drawing pad and a tin of pencils on top of his bag and pushed it so it would zip, standing to full attention. “How do I look?”

Seokmin made sure to close the bedroom door. “Like a wet dream,” he grinned. “Do we have time?”

“I don’t think so, sorry.”

“Aw, come on. Really quickly? I want to make you happy one last time.”

“It’s not like I’m dying, you know.” Soonyoung slung his bag onto his shoulder and leaned in to kiss his boyfriend gently. “We can have all the sex you like when I get back. Promise. We’ll make a party out of it.”

“A sex party?”

“If you like. Sounds nice, right?”

Seokmin opened the door again to let his boyfriend out with a longing sigh. “It does sound, very nice.”

“I have the best ideas. Mingyu, I’m leaving!”

Mingyu looked like a kicked puppy, standing in the living room, put an obstinate kicked puppy at that. “Fine. Go then.”

Soonyoung laughed, moving to give the tall boy a quick hug. “Don’t be lonely, I’ll call you lots.”

Mingyu hugged him back quickly. “Whatever.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This early update was brought to you by the very high chances of my appendix bursting sometime today/through the night and I may not be around to update on Tuesday.


	15. Chapter 15 [Bonus Chapter]

_Wonwoo, Wonwoo, Wonwoo_. _I have to run. It’s dark, but I have to see Wonwoo. I have to get to Wonwoo. He can’t just message me and say he wants to stop being friends. I need to see him. Talk to him. I need to see Wonwoo. I need to see him now._

_His shrew of a sister opens the door, but she doesn’t yell at me. She just points towards the stairs. Wonwoo’s in his room. Wonwoo’s always in his room. But today he’s not texting me anymore. Wonwoo doesn’t want to be near me anymore. Wonwoo wants to let go of me, but I can’t let go of him. There’s no way we can separate now._

_We fight. I don’t remember what we say. Wonwoo’s upset with me. I’m upset with him. We agree not to see each other anymore. It’s too confusing to be his friend and fuck at the same time. It’s getting both of us messed up. We’ll both be okay. We’re promising each other we’ll be okay without each other. I leave, defeated, because I don’t want that. I want him close, no matter what. But it’s hurting him. It’s hurting Wonwoo. And if it hurts Wonwoo, I can’t keep doing it. I can go through all kinds of hurt, if it means Wonwoo feels better._

_I come home and Soonyoung’s alright, he’s fine, and he asks me if I’m alright. I tell him yes. It’s a lie. I’m not alright. I wanted to be with Wonwoo. I didn’t want to leave him. But even I know our relationship can’t keep going the way it is._

_I miss Wonwoo. I miss Wonwoo so much._

Mingyu woke up with a frightening jolt that lifted his whole body off the mattress: it took him a while, shaking between the sheets, to get his breath back, panting hard. The pain, the physical duress, the fear, the _pain oh God the pain_ , it ebbed slightly with every harsh breath he took.

He hadn’t thought about Wonwoo since he left. Well, that wasn’t true. Actually, Wonwoo had been the only thing on his mind since he left. But he tried not to think of Wonwoo. Texting him. Talking to him. Seeing his face. Holding his body close. He tried not to think of the things he wanted most.

The doorbell rang for the third time, and now it was impatient and shrill: he briefly wondered why Soonyoung wasn’t getting it before remembering Soonyoung left yesterday for Yongin.

He stumbled around to find old slacks somewhere in his room, so he was at least semi-decent, and rushed to get the door.

Wonwoo didn’t look like he’d slept. His natural resting face was stony and vacant, but this was far worse: as if he had lost all thought and mind. He had got dull skin and dark circles, and was tilting to and fro slightly.

And yet, it was as if Mingyu could breathe again.

An awkward moment of silence passed as Mingyu just stared.

“I’d like a cappuccino, please.”

Mingyu had to clear his throat a little. “This isn’t Starbucks.” He meant it to come out strong, but his voice faltered, weak and sleepy.

Wonwoo finally looked up, his eyes clearing slightly: he seemed only a little surprised that he had walked to Mingyu’s apartment instead of his local coffee shop. He blinked furiously, whole body shaking as he tried to stammer out an apology.

When Wonwoo took a step backwards, Mingyu almost had a heart attack. “If! If you uh… s-still want that cappuccino… y-you can come in… you know?”

Wonwoo stood there a few moments in silent awe before ducking his head, staring at the ground. “Uh. That. That would be nice. Th-thanks.”

Mingyu simply left the door open, going to switch on the Nespresso machine: Wonwoo followed after, quiet as a mouse, gently closing the door behind him and taking off his shoes like he’d done a million times already.

“Do you still take soy milk?” came a sleepy question.

“Yes.”

“Right.” Mingyu wiped his face with his whole hand a few times, trying to wipe the sleep off it – needless to say, it didn’t work. He eventually just placed two cups of cappuccino on the table and sat opposite Wonwoo, hands curling around one of the cups.

Wonwoo took his, slowly observing Mingyu. “You don’t like cappuccino,” he said softly.

“That’s okay. You do. Our machine’s broken and it only makes two at the same time.”

“I see.” Wonwoo sipped his coffee slowly, trying to look at anything else except the man across from him.

The silence was awkward, but a peaceful awkward. Mingyu was too half-asleep to care much about anything normally, but he would have done anything to keep Wonwoo there. “Do… did you come here on purpose? Or did you sleep walk?”

Wonwoo stared at the foam in his cup. “I think… I just… started walking… and my subconscious brought me here.” He looked up instantly, cold eyes drilling through Mingyu. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have come. I came at a bad time. Did you have somebody here? Not- not that that’s any of my business. I- I’ll shut up now.”

Mingyu shook his head. “No, no it’s – it’s fine. I’m… I’m happy you came.”

Wonwoo frowned at that, not looking away from his cup. It didn’t make sense to him.

Mingyu had meant it to sound like an off-hand comment, but his voice failed him again. It was weak, strained, and absolutely haunted with fear. “I thought I’d never see you again.”

“…would you have minded it that much? Never seeing me again?”

“…Yeah.”

“Why?”

Mingyu shrugged. “No reason, I guess. It’s stupid, never mind.”

“No, tell me.”

“Why? So you can make fun of me?” Mingyu scowled to himself. “I don’t want that.”

“…if I promise not to make fun of you?”

“You’re really bad at not making fun of people.”

“I’ll do my best.”

Mingyu sighed, but even he knew it didn’t matter anymore – no matter how much he didn’t want to be vulnerable to Wonwoo anymore, he had no choice. Wonwoo already knew he was pathetic. He might as well tell all, and get it off his chest.

“Because I’m in love with you. I think… I think I always have been. From the first day we met at that stupid party, and we… you acted like it was nothing. So I did too. We became friends. I was so happy. We slept together. It was… I felt… _special_. I felt, for the first time, like I might be worth something to somebody. That you might find it in you to like me. I – I wouldn’t have asked for love. I would have settled for friends, really, if that’s all you ever wanted from me. I could delude myself into believing the rest. It wouldn’t have mattered if you didn’t love me back, as long as you were still there. And when you said you wouldn’t be there anymore… I guess… I was scared that the one person I loved more than anybody else was leaving me forever.”

“…wow.”

“Sorry. I know that’s not something you wanted to hear.” Mingyu didn’t even have it left in him to blush. “I know that you’re the type of cool guy that sleeps around a lot, and none of it really means anything to you. I’m sure it must be burdensome, having some idiot like me have a crush on you like this. But uh – I- I won’t text you or- or cling to you about it. I’m not that bad. I won’t bother you with it again. Sorry. I shouldn’t have told you.”

Wonwoo thought about it for a moment. “What do you mean – cool guy that sleeps around a lot?”

“You know.” Mingyu blushed now, listing a few names he’s heard around campus. “You slept with them all in between everything. I knew that. I – I wasn’t one to complain. I thought even if I only had one per cent, it was still enough. It didn’t matter who else you were fucking, as long as… you still texted me now and then. If I could still see you, it was okay.”

Wonwoo blinked a few times, frowning slightly. “Mingyu, I didn’t sleep around with anybody. Not-… not since we met, at least.”

His first reaction was _denial_ – Wonwoo was lying. He had to be. He was the type of person to sleep around. It wasn’t an emotional act for him.

“I know a lot of people said they did. Some was before we met – others just… like to say we did. I didn’t think you would listen to campus gossip… that you were the type.”

Mingyu sniffed a little. “I couldn’t help but hear if it was about y-”

“Are you, at any point, planning on putting on a shirt?”

Mingyu looked down at himself dumbly for a few seconds before getting up. “Ah, shit. Sorry. Wait.” His clamber down the hallway resulted in the finding of a red shirt, which he threw on in haste before returning. “Right, where was I?”

“Campus gossip.”

“…I guess I don’t really have any excuses. It’s not… not something I ever held against you, you know. I know I was just… a quick, convenient outlet for any pent-up hormonal urges you had. I didn’t mind being your fuckbag. Well… maybe a little at first, but then it didn’t matter so much anymore, as long as it meant I could see you.”

Wonwoo stiffened, hairs and goosebumps raising on his arms as he glared forward. “Excuse me?”

“W-what?”

“… _fuckbag_?”

“W-well, f-friends with benefits, I mean, the terminology doesn’t really matter when you-”

“You think that was what we had? You think it didn’t mean anything? You think it was just an _outlet_?”

Mingyu just sat in surprise.

“I see.” The tension rose in Wonwoo’s throat as he sat up straighter than ever. “I guess you never thought very highly of me from the start, for you to think I’d do something like that.”

“That’s not true!” Mingyu jumped out of his seat at the thought, leaning over the table. “Y-you’re the highest! I-I’m even scared to think of you sometimes, in case it’s forbidden by God, that’s how highly I think of you! I’m not even good enough to kiss your feet, that’s how high you are to me!”

“Then how could you _possibly_ ever think I would just _use_ you for _sex_?”

“Isn’t that _exactly_ what you’ve been doing all this time then?!”

“No, you _idiot_! I was trying to make you _fall in love with me!_ ”

That made Mingyu sit down _very_ quickly.

Wonwoo sighed, hands pressed together at the palms in front of his face, eyes closed. “The first time we slept together – after that party – that was a mistake. A bad one. I- I tried to just be normal and… but you were always so goofy. So happy. The second time I already knew I wanted you to be exclusive to me. For you to think that I was just _using_ you when you were everything I wanted and everything I could never have…”

Mingyu’s eyebrows drew together, like a confused puppy. “Why did you never say anything?”

“I tried. Over and over. You didn’t seem to get the message.”

“When? When did you try?”

Wonwoo paused. “Admittedly, mostly in bed.”

Mingyu went very quiet suddenly. “I always assumed you were just getting carried away.”

“What about that time I took you to my cousin’s wedding?”

Mingyu went a deep shade of red.

“Mingyu?”

“I thought you just wanted to take me because I was tall.”

Wonwoo hid his face in both hands. “You’re an absolute idiot.”

“But… I never… you never… it wasn’t…”

“The biggest idiot of them all. The tallest, dumbest idiot.”

“Don’t be mean.” Mingyu hid his face for a moment before leaning in to tug on Wonwoo’s sleeve. “Wonwoo… Wonwoo, if you… if you wanted me to be in love with you… and I fell in love with you…”

Wonwoo peeked from between his fingers.

Mingyu’s face was full and pouty, adorable in its hopefulness, like a puppy who knows he’s been a good boy and is waiting for his treat. “Does that mean I did well?”

He sighed a little. “I guess that’s what it means.”

“I did a good thing? Really? Then… are… are we still angry at each other?”

Wonwoo thought about it, placing his hands on the table in front of him. “Are… are you sure?” he asked quietly, not looking up. “Are you sure you like me? I don’t… want you to get sick of me after a few months.”

“I won’t get sick,” he declared confidently, eyes cutting through Wonwoo clearly. “I won’t get tired. I’ll be happy. I’ll be really, very happy.”

The pause was short. “Then I guess we’re not angry at each other anymore.”

“Does.” Mingyu tugged more on Wonwoo’s long sleeve, playing with the material between his fingers, abashed and shy. “Does that mean that maybe… you’ll be my friend again?”

Wonwoo nodded.

“And come around and talk to me?”

Another nod. “Provided you and my sister don’t _actually_ murder each other.”

“And… we can still…”

Wonwoo’s face seemed drawn suddenly, stony and cold again. “I… don’t know.”

Mingyu nodded hurriedly. “That’s okay! That’s okay – as long as you’ll still be near me it’s all okay! E-even if you wanted to hit me for being stupid all the time, as long as you still come near me it’s okay. W-we don’t have to do anything special. Just don’t…” Here he suddenly paused, hand frozen on Wonwoo’s sleeve, eyes boring a hole in the table with sudden anxiety. His voice hushed to a haunted whisper. “…just don’t leave me again.”

Wonwoo’s hand gently moved to hold Mingyu’s, pulling him away from the polyester. “Did… did I hurt you, Mingyu?”

Mingyu jerked a little, shaking his head like a frightened child. “N-no! I mean, it’s okay if you want to. I mean… I just… uh… um…”

“Were you sad when I said I wasn’t going to be friends anymore?”

The boy gave up and nodded sadly.

Wonwoo watched him for a moment. “I’m sorry, Mingyu. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“That’s alright.”

“It’s not, though.”

“It’s okay. Now that you’re here again it doesn’t hurt anymore.”

“…I… I don’t think I want to be friends still, though.”

“What? Why not? I-I’ll be a good friend this time, I promise.”

Wonwoo stifled a chuckle, the coffee slowly dripping its caffeine into his bloodstream. “You weren’t a bad friend to start off with, Mingyu. But… instead of being friends, I’d rather have a relationship with you.”

“A relationship?”

“You know.” It was Wonwoo’s turn to blush. “The hand holding, cute nicknames, screwing each other every chance we get… we don’t even have to call each other boyfriend if you really don’t want to… but I-”

“I want to! I want to be your boyfriend!” If Mingyu had had a dog tail, it would have been whipping the chair at the highest possible velocity. “Please let me be your boyfriend!”

Wonwoo laughed at the sight, nodding gently. “I’d like that very much, Mingyu.”

 

Wonwoo’s face rested in the crook of Mingyu’s neck as he had inevitably become the small spoon. Although, he thought, that wasn’t really an accurate description: there was so much of his overgrown St. Bernard that most of Mingyu’s body curved around him, encapsulating him like a shell over a nut.

_I’m the nut. Ha-ha._

“You’re the nut?”

“Did I say that out loud?”

“You did. Post-orgasm hallucinations?”

Wonwoo pinched his arm harmlessly. “Shut up. It’s nothing. Are you okay?”

“I won’t be able to sit right for a while.” Mingyu’s smile was gentle and almost delirious in its happiness. “I’m so happy. Thank you.”

“Since when do we thank each other for sex?”

“It’s not _just_ the sex I’m thanking you for,” he pouted. “Thank you for coming back.”

“Thanks for having me.”

Mingyu chuckled, holding Wonwoo even tighter with a sigh. “Well, at least that’s one part of my life sorted and straightened out. Now all I have to do is worry about my idiot roommate.”

“Soonyoung?” Wonwoo looked up, repositioning himself on the small bed next to his lover. He ruffled his hair out a little. “Is he still dating that boyfriend you don’t approve of?”

Mingyu glanced at his boyfriend warily. “…how well can you keep a secret?”

 

He stared worriedly. Maybe it was a bad idea telling Wonwoo all this. Maybe Wonwoo wouldn’t be able to cope. To handle the information. Would he be okay?

“Hm.” Wonwoo stretched, raising his brows nonchalantly. “Didn’t peg the overgrown hamster to be the type to fall in love with a gangster.”

Mingyu almost choked on his own tongue. “That’s all you have to say about it.”

“…I know people,” he returned with a shrug. “It doesn’t bother me.”

“… _surrounded_ ,” Mingyu grumped, flopping onto his back. “I’m _surrounded_ by mafia lovers.”

Wonwoo grimaced. “Do you want me to leave?”

“No-no-no-no-no-no-no!” The boy instantly moved to cover Wonwoo with his body again. “Don’t go away. I’m just grumpy because Soonyoung is gonna get himself in trouble.”

Wonwoo smiled softly. “You’ll take care of him though, won’t you? Like you always do. You’re such a good friend, Gyugyu.”

“I’ll be a good boyfriend, too.” He pecked his lover’s nose gently. “Promise.”

“I know you will.” Wonwoo smiled up gently, playing with his hair. “Round two?”

“You’re going to fuck me till I’m raw,” Mingyu pouted.

“Maybe.”

“That shit hurts!”

“Buy more lube,” he shrugged.

“You don’t care for me at all,” Mingyu declared dramatically.

“Hey.” Wonwoo held the boy’s chin, forcing him to look straight at him. “I care for you. For your safety, for your health, for your happiness. Don’t doubt me when I love you this much.”

Mingyu seemed to soften a little. “Sorry. I was teasing.”

“I know.” He leaned up for a warm kiss. “Love you, asshole.”

“Love you too, prick.”

“Love you more, dickhead.”

“Love you most, idiot.”

Wonwoo smiled lovingly for a moment, letting his fingers rest on Mingyu’s face for a while. “I really did miss you. Look at you. Look at this face. How could I have gone so long without seeing this face?”

“I know. It’s a handsome face, isn’t it?”

Wonwoo pursed his lips in an amused grimace, instantly letting his hands push against Mingyu’s cheeks, bunching them forward. “What, this face? This face right here? Is this supposed to be the handsome face?”

“ _Wuwu, shtup, mu feysh ish-”_

 _“_ This handsome face right here?” Wonwoo continued smushing his boyfriend’s face for a while before laughing and letting him go, kissing him gently. “Okay, okay. Enough torturing you.”

“Thanks.” Mingyu played with his jaw a little before turning to Wonwoo. “I can’t believe you’re my boyfriend.”

“I can’t believe you’re so _huge_. This isn’t normal. What are you sniffing in your spare time that made you grow this tall?”

“Why do you always bully me.” Mingyu hugged him close, skin on bare skin. “Don’t bully your cute boyfriend.”

Wonwoo softened a little, hugging him back, simply relishing the feeling of their bodies sandwiched together under the blankets. “Alright, alright. I won’t bully my boyfriend anymore. I’ll just tease him now and then.”

“ _Wonwoooooooooo-_ ”

“Hey.”

“Yes?”

“Do you want to… go out and eat something? It’s lunch time. We could go on a lunch date if you like. There’s that one seafood restaurant you’ve been dying to go to, right? I’ll take you there.”

Mingyu thought about it, then shook his head. “No, that’s okay. I’d rather not.”

Wonwoo frowned. “Why not?”

Mingyu’s long fingers gently poked Wonwoo’s shoulder a little while before he told. “You’re allergic to seafood. I don’t want to go somewhere you can’t eat.”

Wonwoo looked surprised for a moment, then his brown eyes warmed and he practically melted down into the bed more, sidling up gently. “Thank you for remembering,” he smiled softly. “I only ever mentioned it once or twice.”

“Of course I’d remember something that important.” Mingyu kissed him. “How about we order a pizza instead? Seafood for me, beef for you.”

“Sounds delicious.” Wonwoo smirked, kissing his boyfriend’s chest. “But first, I have a different piece of meat I’d like to have.”

Mingyu would have protested – and he tried to, valiantly – but a battle waged against Wonwoo’s sweet lips was a battle simply _waiting_ to be lost, so the tall undergrad simply slid down the bed and kissed him back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Guys! I'm back! Sorry I couldn't update on the regular Tuesday but uh, I was kind of busy, what with all the dying I was doing in the oncology department at the hospital. Anyway I have a puncture in my hand where my IV needle used to be and a nice cache of antibiotics, so let's get this back on the road, shall we?


	16. Chapter 16

 [Seokmin] How is my beautiful, handsome, precious Soonyoungie doing all the way in Yongin?

[Soonyoung] I’m dead.

[Seokmin] I didn’t say you could die.

[Soonyoung] Sorry, my soul got sucked out.

[Seokmin] You better catch it before it floats off.

[Soonyoung] Too late.

[Seokmin] Really though. How are you? Tired?

[Soonyoung] Exhausted.

[Seokmin] I wish I could help.

[Soonyoung] It’s alright. I’ll be coming home tomorrow. Thanks for not being upset I had to come. Despite it all, this really was a good opportunity. I’ve learned so much.

[Seokmin] I’m glad. About tomorrow – there’s a good chance I won’t be able to pick you up in person. Something’s cropped up over the last week. If I can’t come I’ll send somebody, okay?

[Soonyoung] Anything you need to tell me about?

[Seokmin] Jeonghan is causing trouble.

[Soonyoung] …you still employ him?

[Seokmin] Apparently not, no.

[Soonyoung] But you did when we got together.

[Seokmin] I employed him for the men, not for me. I didn’t cheat on you, Soonyoung. I’m a mafia boss, not a monster. It’s a long story.  
[Seokmin] Except in BED, where I’m the MONSTEROUS giant.  
[Seokmin] Too much?

[Soonyoung] A little

[Seokmin] Sorry

[Soonyoung] That’s okay. It’s an early start for me coming home so I’m going to bed now.

[Seokmin] Sweet dreams, handsome. I love you.

[Soonyoung] Goodnight.

 

Soonyoung was barely awake when his train hit the station at 8AM – bleary-eyed, unshaven, and tucked away under copious amounts of an oversized hoodie to keep him warm and cosy. He slung his duffel onto his back and made his way off the train, stumbling over the platform, barely coherent at all.

A man stood at the gateway between the platform and the rest of the station. He held a small, white board with Soonyoung’s name on it.

“Kwon Soonyoung?” he asked, when the architect strolled up.

“M-hm.”

“Mr. Lee has sent a car for you. If you’ll follow me, please.”

Soonyoung followed him bleary-eyed to the car, getting in with relative ease: they were only five minutes along when the car jerked to a sudden stop, the door opening.

He didn’t have enough time to protest before a handkerchief was pressed over his face, and Soonyoung lost all consciousness.

 

“Sir.” Minghao walked in, already dripping with sweat. “There’s bad news.”

Seokmin looked up from the letter he was reading, agitated. “What now?”

“The man you sent to the station to pick up Soonyoung.”

Some of the darkness on Seokmin’s face cleared at the mention of his architect, the scowl replaced by surprise and confusion. “Yes? Did he miss him?”

“Well, sir…”

“… _Minghao_?”

“He says he’s almost entirely sure he saw Soonyoung get into another man’s car, sir.”

Seokmin didn’t move.

“A man bearing a white-and-black snake tattoo on the back of his neck.”

Seokmin’s desk was sturdy, easily surviving the tossing it received: the items atop were not so fortunate, scattering across the floor.

“ _What?!_ ” he screamed, heart beating so loudly he could hear it in his ears. His whole body began to shake. “Are you telling me that _my Soonyoung_ was taken away by those _low-life White Snake scum?!_ ”

Minghao hid behind his clipboard. “I’ve tried to reach him, sir. His phone just rings for a while and then goes right to voicemail.”

Seokmin was shaking so badly, he ended up falling backwards into his chair, hands curling into huge, red fists. “Do you know _anything_ else?”

“I’ve requested surveillance footage from outside the station but it’s tricky. It’ll be some hours before we have a good lead.”

Seokmin took a few minutes to close his eyes and take deep breaths. “Right. Yoon?”

“I would assume so, sir.”

“Is Stoy back yet?”

“No, sir. He’s been delayed.”

“…let me know when he gets here. Um…”

Minghao gulped a moment. “The roommate needs to be notified,” he prompted nervously.

Seokmin looked up and then nodded once. “Yes. Yes, you’re right. Um. I’ll do that in person.”

“…in _person_ , sir?”

“It’s alright, I know the child.” He sighed deeply, trying to pull himself together as he swirled around to the city view from his window to hide the emotion on his face a little. “Minghao? I’m getting old, aren’t I?”

“Yes, sir.”

He peeked an eye open, watching his wide-eyed assistant in the glass reflection for a moment. “Am I too old for him?”

“For Soonyoung, sir?”

He merely nodded.

“I don’t see how that’s relevant right now, sir. But… yes, sir, I think you might be.”

Seokmin let out his deepest, longest sigh yet. “Have them bring around my car. Keep my lines open.” He flung his phone at Minghao. “The moment somebody has information on Soonyoung, I want to know about it.”

“And on Jeonghan, sir?”

“Screw him up the ass with a cactus,” Seokmin growled. “Soonyoung is my first priority, understand?”

“Yes, sir. I’ll ring for the car, sir.”

Seokmin righted his desk, eventually, and the papers and computer on top of it: he spent his time in the car in complete silence, and didn’t make a sound until he was in front of the door. “Minghao, Kim, Son, you don’t need to come in with me.”

“Are you sure, sir?”

He nodded once. “I’m sure.”

Mingyu came to the door, starting in surprise. “Hey, you’re that guy!”

Seokmin simply stared.

“Vito Don Corleone!”

The combination of the phrase and utter joy on the child’s face make him snort, just a little: he forced a smile. “That’s me, yep.”

“Sorry.”

“That’s alright.”

“Weren’t you picking Soonyoung up at the station?”

“Yeah… something came up. Can I… can I come in for a minute?”

Mingyu nodded with ease and left the door open: Seokmin let himself in quietly, not waiting long to drop the news. “Nobody is picking Soonyoung up at the station today.”

“Why not? Coffee?”

“No thanks.”

Mingyu simply shrugged, picking up his own cup again. “So why not?”

Seokmin locked his jaw, taking a deep breath. “Early this morning some men picked him up. They weren’t the men I sent. As of now I have no idea where he is or who he’s with, but it’s most likely that Soonyoung has been kidnapped as part of a turf war.”

Mingyu dropped his cup, hot coffee and china splattering all over the floor.

“He’s _what_?”

For the first time, Seokmin allowed guilt to crawl onto his face.

“ _Kidnapped?_ ”

“It does happen, sometimes.”

There was a moment of rising tension as Mingyu’s face became cloudy and dark, boring into the floor with fury – and then suddenly his enormous hands were curled around Seokmin’s lapels, towering over him, red-faced and _furious_. “This is because of you!” he barked, hands shaking. “My best friend is _missing_ because of _you_! You let this happen to him!”

Seokmin allowed himself to be rattled to and fro for a moment before clearing his throat. “Would you be so good as to let me go?”

“I should drop you off the fucking _balcony_!”

“That’s not going to mobilize my forces to get Soonyoung back, is it?”

Slowly, in small increments, the giant let the mafia boss go, backing away entirely. “Fine. What are you going to do, hm? What are you going to do to get my best friend back?”

“As of now I’m bribing everybody I can get my hands on to hit the surveillance cameras. Once I know what car he stepped into and which way it was going, it should be relatively easy to track him down. If I know where he is, then I know _who_ has him. And if I know who has him, I can trade him back.”

“ _Trade_ him back? What is he, cattle? Is my best friend a _cow_ to you?”

Seokmin finally looked up with a dangerous glint in his eye. “Don’t forget,” he whispered angrily, “that’s my boyfriend you’re talking about.”

Mingyu wasn’t impressed by that, but he bit back the spiteful spew of curses that were growing in the back of his throat. He knew how attached Soonyoung was to the stupid, poopy-headed Godfather Dude, and he’d get an earful later if he really hurt him.

A hurried knock on the door made them both turn: when Mingyu opened it with Seokmin right behind him, Minghao simply held out a mobile phone. “Sir. It’s for you.”

“I said, only urgent matters.”

Minghao’s face dulled a shade. “I think this qualifies, sir.”

Seokmin took the phone slowly and pressed it against his ear, fingers shuffling into his pocket to finger a box of cigarettes that would be gone before sundown. “Hello?”

“Hello, _Minnie_. I have something that belongs to you.”

 

Soonyoung wasn’t the number one type of _morning person_ Mingyu could ever wish him to be, and his grouchiness wasn’t confined to the AM hours – Soonyoung didn’t wake up happy, _ever_ , although his foul mood could usually be subdued with plenty of delicious, hot food.

Waking up on a cold metal chair with his hands roughly cuffed behind his back, feet bound with rope in a freezing chamber of cement, however, did even _less_ for his mood.

“Hey. Punk. Wake up.” He was viciously slapped in the face with a wet rag a few times to bring him to full consciousness. “Stupid punk.”

The walls were dirty, almost a basalt color, and it seemed to be a fairly square room – it was absolutely bare, too. He sat in the middle: there was a door opposite him and to his side there was an empty table. The solid temperature was ripping through water-drenched pants, as he had been stripped of his shirt and coat, and he was already starting to shiver.

“Ah, so the pretty fairy finally decided to wake up, huh?” There was a spitting sound as the man squatted in front of him spewed a mouthful of reeking alcohol on the ground. He was thick, not unlike some of Seokmin’s brawlers, with a shaven head and tattoos down his arms. “I guess I’ll tell him you’re ready to see him, then.”

His departure gave Soonyoung a few minutes to lean his head back, shake his bonds and try and remember through the fuzziness in his mind what had happened.

_It’s the last time I get into a car that Seokmin’s not in, that’s for sure,_ was the only real thought he could conjure.

The door opened, and Soonyoung had to concentrate hard to gain sharp vision: there was a tiny gnome inside his skull hacking at his brain with a pick-axe, he was sure, and it was making things embarrassingly difficult to deal with. When he was finally able to look up there was a fold-up chair in front of him, with a figure perched daintily upon it, legs crossed, observing his nails.

“Oh, God,” was all he could mutter with a dry mouth.

“You know, Soonyoung, I seem to remember at _some_ point, we agreed to be _friends_ , didn’t we?”

Soonyoung tried to muster the energy to look as if he were angry with the man in the chair, but he could only manage a _vaguely sleepy_ that wasn’t intimidating at all.

“Yes, yes I think it was that day we went out – you said you had… what was it, you said? _Man, it ain’t that deep?_ You said you had no interest in taking over my spot.”

“I didn’t…”

Jeonghan’s voice turned sharp as he looked up from his nails, indignation written in angry scrawls across his otherwise immaculately innocent face. “You didn’t? Are you trying to say you didn’t after all I’ve been through?”

Soonyoung’s whole mouth was like sandpaper – answering was out of the question.

“So when I hear that Seokmin _no longer wants my services_ , are you trying to tell me it’s not because of you? His pretty new young plaything, that he even lets sleep in his office? You think it’s nothing you did? So when I’m told I’m only still around to be a little _prostitute_ for everybody else in his company, that happened by itself? Do you really think I could stay there, when everybody’s talking behind my back about the favor I’ve lost?”

It slowly began to make sense, through the haze in his mind.

_Jeonghan switched sides._

_Oh God, the things he could tell people about Seokmin._

_No, wait, it’s okay. He doesn’t know about his phobia for storms. And he doesn’t know about the child. Seokmin said I was the only one. I just have to keep my mouth shut._

“I don’t know how long my new boss is going to keep you around, chubby, so I think my retribution will have to be swift, do you agree?” The menacing smile plastered across his face changed: it became deeper, more sinister, more _angry_ with locked jaw and tensed muscles. “I’m going to make you pay. I won’t be disgraced again.”

 

“Oh?”

“Don’t play the unwitting figure to me, I know he’s your new favorite plaything.”

“I don’t know _what_ you’re talking about.” With a single stroke of his finger, one of the gorillas behind Minghao stepped in to lock Mingyu’s arms behind his back and press a hand over the boy’s mouth, before he could ruin everything.

“Oh-ho-ho, I think you do.”

“Let’s pretend I do. What do you want? I’m a busy man, you know.”

“Your assimilation of the yellow district. That was a naughty move.”

“You _can’t_ be serious. You want the _whole_ yellow district?”

“I think the yellow district is worth what I have here. My _source_ tells me you’re very attached to him. We’d hate for something… _unfortunate_ to happen to him, you know? I’m sure we can work this out like civilized men.”

“I’m not giving you the yellow district, Hyuk, it’s out of the question.”

“Oh? It is? I’m sure our little buddy will be very sad to hear it. I’m sure Jeonghannie can’t wait to make pretty little designs in his skin.”

Seokmin’s fingers around the phone tensed, shaking, knuckles white: but his voice sounded bored. “Don’t torture my prostitute, Hyuk.”

Mingyu looked like he was about to pop a blood vessel.

“Oh, but Jeonghannie wants to play with him so much, and I don’t think I could deny him anything, you know?

“Are you done?”

“Well, if you’re not that interested, I guess I’ll just have to let Jeonghan have his way. Maybe after a while you’ll feel differently. Bye-bye then.”

Seokmin had to take a few breathes, listening to the discerning _beep-beep-beep_ for a while before handing the phone back to his assistant. “Kim Mingyu.”

Kim Mingyu was about to collapse from anger, struggling against his huge captor.

Seokmin looked up dolefully. “Do you know what happens if I show them how much I care about Soonyoung?”

Mingyu stilled, face still red.

“If I do everything I can to get him back – if I give in to their demands immediately, do anything to win Soonyoung back, do you know what happens?”

His mouth was finally allowed to speak. “I don’t give a _rat’s ass_ what happens to you, I-”

“Every mobster in Seoul will know that I am in love with Kwon Soonyoung.”

“So?!” he fumed.

“So they will _all_ know how to get what they want from me. He’s my weak spot. They’ll all know about it. I could lose everything, and worse yet… I could lose Soonyoung. I don’t want everybody on the hunt for him. I don’t want half the city looking for him. Wanting to hurt him for their own selfish gain. I have to play a game that means I get Soonyoung back quickly and I don’t have to give up anything significant.”

Mingyu, frustrated as he was, couldn’t argue with that. His face fell, teardrops squeezing out the corners of his eyes. “Just. Get him home.”

“Yes. Let him go, it’s alright, Son. It’s okay, I’ll bring him home.” He gave the boy a concerned look. “Are you going to be okay?”

“…I think… I think I’ll go over and stay at – at my boyfriend’s house.”

“Give Minghao your number so I can reach you.” Seokmin was already leaving. “And be quick about it. I have to get back.”


	17. Chapter 17

Soonyoung tended to drift in and out of consciousness between Jeonghan’s revenge attempts: the burning, the cutting, the hitting took such extreme tolls on his ability to stay sane and every time Jeonghan was informed that he was needed elsewhere, it was a face full of chloroform for him to make him sleep.

There were gashes all over: most of them shallow, but cut with cruel, ridged blades that made the pain a lot worse. The burning was mostly across his shoulders – shallow, too, done with lit cigarettes. They didn’t smell like the ones Seokmin used – these were more sickening, too sweet to smell like Seokmin. He was sure there had to be some bald patches in his hair by now, the way people were prodding his head around by taking handfuls of it, and his nose hurt like the _blazes_ after Jeonghan hit him there with his elbow.

“Hello, chubby.”

It was unfair, psychological warfare – Soonyoung wasn’t so far gone that he couldn’t realize that – but it had an effect on him, one he would never admit.

“We’ll start slow this time. I have some questions for you.”

 _Maybe you could afford to give me something to drink, then I could at least communicate with you. And like, maybe a dentist, bro. You look delicate and cute, but I swear you’ve broken a crown somewhere in the back_.

“Where has Seokmin taken you to?”

Soonyoung looked up slowly.

“I’m sure he’s taken you to some _nice_ places. Places he doesn’t take other people. Secret little hideouts, or something of the sort? You can tell me.”

 _Silence._ _We haven’t really been to that many interesting places to start with anyway, so no biggie. I just have to keep my mouth shut._

Jeonghan lit a cigarette and Soonyoung knew things weren’t going to get better. He was pretty sure this was his fourth audience with Jeonghan, and he was also pretty sure he wasn’t likely to hold out for much longer. He was being worn away bit by bit. Everything hurt. He wasn’t clear on pretty much _anything_. His mind was fuzzy, trying to cope with the various kinds of pain that were all screaming simultaneously.

Jeonghan smoked for a while before lurching forward suddenly, jabbing the butt end of the cigarette into Soonyoung’s thigh: it wasn’t the first time the boy had been burned by a cigarette in the hours he’d been here, but he was still surprised at the amount of pain it could inflict. He writhed against his bonds, letting them dig further into the stinging wounds they had created, sweat dripping down his temples.

“Your family, fatty. What, you think they’re safe because of you? Because Seokmin tried to erase your existence from the system? I’ll find out who they are no matter what. And when I have your beloved parents locked up and I’m burning their legs, then maybe you’ll have a lot more to tell me, hm?”

It was selfish, maybe, to not think of Seungcheol, his adoptive father, or the cousin that changed his life. But the only thing Soonyoung could see was _Samuel_.

His beautiful, wide, warm brown eyes. The way they creased at the edges when he got excited. What he looked like when playing in the mud with Charlie. The disappointment on his face after a bad soccer match. The fear of letting his family down when he’d done badly on an exam. The joy he’d had when he was adopted. The anxious fist in Soonyoung’s shirt at the orphanage. His crying baby voice, small and pained in the steaming shower room as his brother tried to clear a lung infection.

_Soonie, ouch! Ouch, ouch, Soonie!_

Jeonghan smirked, watching Soonyoung’s emotions play behind his eyes. “That’s right. Your whole family. How many are there? Do you think they’ll be nice and quiet when I hit _them_? When I burn through _them_? You’ll hear them screaming, you know that, don’t you? When I find them, they’re dead. U-”

_Ouch! Ouch, Soonie!_

There was a loud thumping on the door and Jeonghan pulled Soonyoung’s hair, bobbing his head back and forth a moment. “Sorry, filth. Excuse me.”

_Soonie, ouch! Ouch, ouch, Soonie!_

_I know, baby brother, I know. I know it hurts. I know your tummy hurts. I know your chest hurts. I know. It’s okay. Big brother will protect you. No matter what, if you keep strong through this, Samuel, big brother will always protect you. No matter what, you’ll be the number one person for me to protect. I won’t let anybody hurt you, baby brother. I won’t let anybody hurt you in the future. Because I’m your big brother. Because I’m your big brother. Because I’m your big brother._

Somewhere between Jeonghan’s departure and the door re-opening, Soonyoung was swept away in the ghoulish tendrils of a fever taking hold.

 

Seokmin didn’t sleep. He couldn’t. He knew he should probably do his best – working on an exhausted brain would not work out well for anybody – but he couldn’t. He knew… he _knew_ that Soonyoung was being tortured for information.

Information about _him_. It was _his_ fault. If he hadn’t been so smitten with the boy, if he hadn’t taken Soonyoung under his wing, if he hadn’t fallen so damned hard, Soonyoung would never have been a target. Soonyoung wouldn’t be getting hurt, _right now_ , because of his existence.

 _Regret never got anybody anywhere._ He knew that. And yet, here he was, regretting everything. Nothing… _almost_ nothing could ever be worse than Soonyoung being hurt because of him.

Minghao was on the couch. Sleeping. Or maybe pretending to sleep. Seokmin just stared through the amber liquid in his glass. He’d already had two phone calls. One from Jeonghan. About Soonyoung. About what was happening to him.

He wanted to just go in, all guns blazing, and murder any fucker that tried to hurt his Soonyoung. It would be relatively easy. He’d lose men, but he’d get his boyfriend back. He’d go in metal smoking. The prospect of a mass-murder to save Soonyoung didn’t even make him flinch. It was carefully considered and weighed against other options, but he knew he’d been right earlier, at the apartment. If he did that, Soonyoung would be a target for the rest of his life. That wasn’t something he could have on his conscience. Especially if… especially if Soonyoung left him.

The ghosts of _maybe_ and the sounds of Soonyoung’s voice screaming in pain through a bad phone line swirled around his head, and he raised his glass to knock back another gulp of golden-colored whiskey.

 

“We’ve been ordered to release the kid.”

“What?!” The man was furious, instantly: his new employer held him in an attempt to calm him, but that wasn’t happening any time soon. “What do you mean we’ve – let me go! – what do you mean? Let him _go_? I’ve only had him for just over a _day_! I’m gonna fucking ruin him before I-”

“It came from the highest up it could possibly come. We’re to ask for three blocks in the yellow district and hand him back for that.”

“Highest up?”

“Our number one superior. We can’t just disobey him.”

“Let me go!”

“Park – take Jeonghan.”

“No!” The man was furious, scrambling against the arms that restricted him. His whole face was red with anger, scrabbling with his nails that made blood run from the gorilla that was holding him. “No, no, no, no, damn it! This isn’t the end! I’ll get him in the end! No! Damn it!”

 

“…Three blocks?” Seokmin’s voice was even, but he was making all types of faces at Minghao. “...two blocks.”

“Deal.”

_Deal?!_

“You can come pick up your piece of garbage in the usual parking spot, at midnight. If he’s still alive by then.”

Seokmin’s voice turned sharp – the first moment he’d let any emotion show. His jaw clenched, molars squeaking as they were crushed together, grinding. “He’d better be.”

 

“Minghao, your revolver is sticking out.”

The assistant fumbled with the weapon for a moment while Mingyu bridled in the corner. “You guys are gonna bring him home safe, right? Don’t – like, don’t get him hurt or anything.”

Seokmin’s weapon looked significantly more formidable in the gangster’s hands than in his assistant’s: the dark look on his face even had Minghao anxiously jittering away from him inch by inch. “You have nothing to worry about.” Seokmin took a glance down the barrel at the wall before putting his gun away. “I won’t let Soonyoung be hurt.”

“Hey. Vito Donna Godfather.”

Seokmin offered him a withering look.

“…don’t get hurt, either.” Mingyu scowled evenly – out of irritation, it seemed, more than real anger. “If Soonyoung finds out you got hurt, he won’t give up about it. You know what he’s like. I don’t want to live with him if all he’s going to do is complain about how you should have looked out, even though you’re the reason he’s in this mess in the first place.”

Seokmin didn’t even blink, immediately returning to the bullets he was sliding into his breast pocket. “Agreed.”

“Then I’ll wait right here.” Mingyu placed himself delicately on the edge of the pinched hospital bed in the basement of Seokmin’s complex, surrounded by medical equipment. “Until you bring him home.”

 

Seokmin sat very still in the passenger seat of the mini-van: so still that Minghao, the driver, had to reach for his tums. Seokmin sat inhumanely still. Like a zombie, or a vampire. His eyes didn’t move once, they stared out straight; he didn’t move no matter which way the van swerved.

“Sir?”

“Minghao.”

His voice was unnervingly calm: it made Minghao sick, despite the antacids. “Are you ready?”

He didn’t answer for a moment, letting a tension-filled pause fall. When he did speak, his unnervingly calm voice only betrayed the slightest whisper of intensity. “Keep driving.”

 

The parking lot was entirely abandoned: it had been now for years, and therefore was a drop-off point for many a dirty business deal. The lights still worked, though – part of the city grid power generator – and gave dim, dull yellow light to the ghoulish gray-green pillars.

They were there, waiting, convened around their pick-up truck: Hyuk, two of his cronies, and a bundle in the back of the truck. The moment Minghao turned into the lane in plain view, they pulled the bundle out.

Minghao reversed up to them, stepping out and snapping his fingers twice. When the two men in the back of the van stepped out, sliding the door wide open, Seokmin finally showed himself.

Head high. Face drawn. Calm. Not agitated.

Minghao had only ever seen Lee Seokmin like this _once_. It made him sick to think of the things Seokmin was prepared to do, detached from reality, emotion and humanity, when he was like this.

“Ah, there’s our Minnie.”

Seokmin stepped forward casually, meticulously pulling a fleck of dust off the breast of his perfect black suit. “Hyuk,” he answered, just as bored, allowing the dust to fall to the ground. “I don’t have much time here, so why don’t we get it over with? I have other things to do.”

 _Hyuk_ was obviously a little off-put by Seokmin’s obvious and blatant boredom with the entire situation. “You really don’t care about the little piggy?”

“If he’s on my payroll, he belongs to me. Can’t you just give him back already?”

Hyuk snapped his fingers, and one of his goons pulled the bundle out of the pick-up truck: a sack was pulled off of Soonyoung’s head, and the handcuffs at his back were unlocked.

He was beaten up pretty bad. No shirt. The full extent of his body couldn’t be seen in the dim, ruddy light, but it was obvious he’d been tackled pretty hard. He shuddered in the cold air and something started bleeding, slowly trickling dark red over his purple-dappled skin. He leaned on his right foot awkwardly, bent and crouched over like an injured animal waiting for the final shot of a hunter’s gun.

“Here. Have him then. It’s no fun if you’re like this, Seokmin.” Hyuk waited, eventually pulling on Soonyoung’s hair. “Hey, piggy! Your master wants you again. You can go back to him now.”

The agonizing, tense minute that it took Soonyoung to open his eyes and struggle his way towards Seokmin was physically painful. He was panting hard, haggard, dragging his left foot a little, trembling. Like a sick dog that had been shot in the leg.

Soonyoung was crying silent tears by the time his body crashed into Seokmin’s, no strength left in his arms to hug him. Seokmin only felt the wetness on his cheeks before one of his bodyguards pulled the young man away and gently set him down in the minivan.

“Hyuk.” Hyuk turned back. “What about Yoon Jeonghan?”

Hyuk shrugged. “What about him?”

“You’re not giving him back?”

Hyuk laughed. “Don’t you think I know what you’ll do to him if he goes back to you? Am I that stupid?”

Seokmin’s eyes turned into slits. Evil slits. “If you knew what was good for you… you’d finish him off, before he gives you more misery than he’s worth.”

Hyuk simply shook his head, and Seokmin motioned with a single finger. “Let’s go.”

The moment the door of the minivan closed, Seokmin’s left arm was around his boyfriend, his right moving to unbutton his shirt. “Soonyoung, Soonyoung ,baby, sh, it’s okay, I’m-”

“My brother.”

“…what?”

A shaking, bleeding, feverish Soonyoung looked up at his boyfriend with a crazed look in his eyes. “My brother… is he… is he…?”

Seokmin stared, uncomprehending.

“W-will Jeonghan find him?”

He instantly shook his head. “No, that would be impossible. I wiped you off all public records. He couldn’t trace your family to you.”

Soonyoung stared at him for one moment of pure relief. “Thank God.”

And then his eyes closed, body going limp in Seokmin’s arms.

 

The rush into the building was a flurry of bodies: Seokmin moved with a single-minded type of focus to attach Soonyoung to a cardiometer before checking his vitals manually: a light in his eyes first, to check for brain damage and function, and then to listen to his heart.

Boom. Bu-bu-boom. Boom. Bu-bu-bu-bu-

“What’s _happened to him_?!”

“Park.”

Park moved to corner Mingyu to a wall so he didn’t get in the way.

Bu-bu-bu-

Seokmin took a wild check of Soonyoung’s body, frenzied, trying to vet the various gashes. His face was bruised, as was most of his torso, and the cut in his forehead was shallow: there was a gaping gash in his shoulder, and more than one scar.

Bu-bu. Bu-

The cardiometer shrieked.

Seokmin pressed the stethoscope harder against his chest, but it didn’t matter.

The silence coming from Soonyoung’s heart was deafening.

Instantly he was clambering on top, fingers locking as he pressed his hands atop each other and began to bear down on Soonyoung’s chest.

“Minghao. Bag him.”

Minghao dove in with a bag valve mask, pressing it over Soonyoung’s mouth, disregarding Mingyu’s screams entirely: he calmly pressed the bag as Seokmin worked furiously over his chest.

“Come on, damn it.” He paused to press the stethoscope again, only for a moment before resuming CPR. “Damn it, Soonyoung! You can’t give up now!”

There was a moment of silence only broken by the sickening sound of Soonyoung’s flesh being pressed into the cot rhythmically.

“Son, charge the paddles to two-hundred and prepare ten cc of epi.”

Son moved just as Soonyoung’s eyes flew open and he took a solid, gasping breath by himself: Minghao struggled to retrieve the bag, and Seokmin flew off the boy, raising both hands.

“Ix-nay on the paddles.”

Soonyoung glanced around him wildly, arms flailing weakly as he gasped ragged breaths: Seokmin pulled himself off the bed with relief, glancing at the reawakened cardiometer.

“Mingyu! Mingyu!”

The boy closed in quickly, hands pressing on either side of Soonyoung’s head. He stared at his best friend seriously. “Soonyoung.”

“Mingyu! What’s! What’s!”

“Shhhh. You’re safe now. You’re safe, Soonyoungie.”

Soonyoung simply panted.

“There now. There now.” Mingyu whispered soft nothings to calm his friend, but in his peripheral view, he could see Seokmin struggling into latex gloves, pulling up a needle. “It’s going to be okay now. You’re safe.”

“Samuel.”

“Samuel’s safe in Jeju. Nobody can get him. Not with Cheol and Jihoon there. And Jisoo would kill on sight for him. Not to mention Charlie’s brutal.”

Soonyoung nodded. “He’s okay, right?”

“He’s okay. No, don’t look around. Look right at me.”

A syringe was inserted, a needle in Soonyoung’s hand, and a bag hooked to a steel bar.

“Soonyoung, sleep well, alright? I’ll explain it all when you wake up.”

His eyes were already closing.

It took Mingyu a moment to make sure his friend was asleep before straightening. “Are you certified?”

“It hasn’t lacerated anything vital. I don’t need to be.” Seokmin looked up as Minghao placed his reading glasses on his face. “But he’s losing blood, and I need to fix the vein. Minghao. Suction. Clamp.”


	18. Chapter 18

Mingyu watched for about fifteen minutes before he had to step outside: he walked out onto the streets, sitting on the sidewalk before he could remove the cold sweat from his brow. Sitting in a room while Seokmin operated on his best friend was too much to deal with.

A few more minutes passed in the quiet of the night before the skinny assistant joined him, dumping an entire crate of beer between them as he wiped his forehead similarly, pulling his surgical mask off his face. “God.”

“Yeah.” Mingyu watched warily as Minghao opened a bottle with his bare hands and took it when it was offered to him. “Can say that again. He doesn’t need you in there?”

Minghao shook his head, opening another bottle for himself. “He’s done with the surgery. Soonyoung’s all sewn up.”

“Well?”

“Looks like he’ll make it.” Minghao took a slug of beer. “Slight fever. Seokmin’s administering antibiotics to his drip now, just in case.”

Mingyu stared at his bottle for a while. “How’d he learn to do that?”

Minghao bridled. “He’s… seen more than his fair share of action. One time his father was shot up. Five bullets. Nobody dared operate on him – not on _the boss_. Seokmin saved his life. He did it while somebody read out a _Wikihow_ article to him. I remember. It was years ago, but I still remember. Neither of them were ever the same, but he took a few classes just to be sure after it.”

The brief story made Mingyu drink.

“Yoon Jeonghan took a lot of anger out on him. Poor guy. Soonyoung will need all the love in the world if he’s to recover.”

Mingyu stared up at the sky. He had no answer to that. “I hate the sky in Seoul. Where are all your stars?”

Minghao sighed. “Sometimes, I think they’re all stuck in Soonyoung’s eyes.”

“…yeah?”

Minghao glanced at Mingyu, but then shook his head, looking away. “It’s not that deep. It’s probably just a crush.”

Mingyu nods.

“Anyway, he’s with the boss, and we’re tight friends. I appreciate him as a friend too, so we can just keep it that way.”

Mingyu pretended not to notice the tinge of pain in Minghao’s voice. “Sucks, huh. Been there. Done that.”

“With Soonyoung?”

“No. Somebody else.”

The two sat on the curb, drinking in peaceful solidarity for a while.

“We should go back in.”

“I would have thought the Godfather would come out and drink with us after the operation.”

Minghao gave him a funny look, pulling the crate onto his shoulder with one arm easily. “Separate? Seokmin from Soonyoung? After all this? Do you have a death wish?”

“Good point.”

“Seokmin would die before leaving him alone like that.”

Mingyu didn’t comment on that, simply following the skinny assistant into the building. “How come you look as skinny as a lollipop, but you’re strong enough to carry that crate like it’s nothing?”

Minghao shrugged with his free shoulder. “I’ve got a deceitful body. Probably one of the reasons the boss keeps me around. Are you staying over? For when Soonyoung wakes up?”

Mingyu nodded woodenly. “I already put my overnight bag upstairs.”

“Upstairs is where he’ll move Soonyoung, so let’s go up.” Minghao sighed heavily, pressing the button for the elevator. “We _all_ need a good night’s sleep, after this.”

 

There was a suspicious _lack_ of pain running through his veins, but he couldn’t quite find it in him to be bothered about that quite yet. There was a dull, gray light streaming through – daylight, it seemed like, but not sunny daylight. Impossible to tell what time of the day it was.

The heaviness on his arm was what spurred him to open his eyes – they hurt, a little dry, a little crusty, but not so bad. It just seemed to be as if he hadn’t used them in a while.

The heaviness on his arm was a head. Seokmin’s head. While Soonyoung was lying propped up on a bed, Seokmin sat in a chair beside him. Obviously fallen asleep, half on the bed, half on Soonyoung’s arm.

“Hey.”

Soonyoung’s sore neck turned to look at the speaker: Mingyu pulled his legs off the bed’s handrail and sat forward in his chair, leaving his comic book to the side. “Looks like you’re awake,” he whispered.

Soonyoung blinked slowly.

“Can… can you hear me?”

Soonyoung could only manage the smallest of nods, but it sufficed.

“That’s good, that’s good… are you in much pain? Dandy Dan said he gave you morphine, but he didn’t give you a high dose…”

Soonyoung scrunched his nose a moment then shook his head.

“Water?”

Another nod – Mingyu moved to retrieve a glass of water and put a straw in it before holding it up to Soonyoung’s mouth. “The straw was my idea,” he smiled gently.

Soonyoung drank – and drank, and drank – before rejecting the empty glass, turning back to look at Seokmin.

“He hasn’t left your side at all. I guess I have to give him props for that. I think he’d been awake over forty hours before he conked out. He was desperately hoping he’d be awake when you woke up.”

Soonyoung glanced at him.

“I said I gave him props, not that I had to be nice to him. More water?” Mingyu went and returned like a loyal puppy, this time with fresh water. “Anyway, let him sleep. Like I said, he was seriously sleep deprived. I slept earlier, so it doesn’t bother me. Unlike him, I know what you’re like when you get to sleep after an all-nighter. I knew you weren’t waking up any time soon.”

Soonyoung cracked a smile, albeit a small one.

Mingyu let him drink and then sat again, pouring a few fingers over the boy’s fringe. “Are you… are you going to be okay? It was… it was really scary, Soonyoung. Your heart stopped and everything. Eddie Scissorhands over here even had to operate on you.”

Soonyoung swallowed hard before looking up. “I think I’ll live,” he croaked out.

“That sounds more like it.”

“M-my brother, th-”

“I actually video called your parents this morning.” Mingyu held up a hand to halt the terrified look he was given. “I didn’t tell them anything, do you think I’m stupid? I told them you were still in Yongin, and you had lost wifi and used up your data, so I was calling to check up on them anyway. Everything is fine with them, so don’t be too worried. Samuel looks good, too.” Mingyu paused. “He’s dyed his hair blond.”

Soonyoung gave him an anxious look.

“He’s fine, I promise. They all are. If anybody should be worried about anybody, then everybody should be worried about you.”

“I’m okay,” he whispered. “Morphine’s great.”

“Yeah?”

“Mm.” Soonyoung turned back to look at Seokmin for a moment before raising his free arm to wisp sleep from the corners of his eyes. It took him a while, and then he sighed. “When they came for me… Seokmin, he… he didn’t even hold me…”

Mingyu bit his lip for a while before he broke. “I can’t believe I’m defending him, but… the way he explained it to me… if anybody finds out how much he cares about you, then you’re a target for the rest of your life. He… doesn’t seem to cope with that idea very well. He put on a front. I guess he has no other choice.”

Soonyoung’s heavy expression didn’t lift.

“Do you want to wake him? I can leave.”

He shook his head, quickly – turning. “Don’t go. For a while longer.”

Mingyu sat again.

“Time?”

He checked his phone. “Four-forty. Monday afternoon.”

Soonyoung blinked, processing.

“Are you hungry?”

“Not yet.”

“Okay.”

They sat looking at each other for a moment. “Thank you. For being here.”

“Where else would I be when my best buddy in the whole world is hurting?” Mingyu took the hand offered him. “I was seriously scared you weren’t coming back anymore. I’m glad to see you awake.”

“Sorry for worrying.”

“Don’t say that.” Mingyu smiled. “Is there anything I can help with?”

Soonyoung closed his eyes.

“Sleep?”

He nodded.

“Sleep then. Goodnight, Soonyoung.”

 

 _His_ Soonyoung. _His_. Beaten. Burned. Cut. Bruised. Hurt. Because of _him._ It was almost too much to bear – too much pain to withstand. It was because Seokmin couldn’t protect him. Because he’d been too easy-going. It was his fault that Soonyoung had been hurt.

He was the reason Soonyoung wasn’t smiling, with diamonds twinkling in his eyes. He was the reason Soonyoung’s very heart had stopped beating. He was the reason Soonyoung was asleep and wouldn’t wake up. He was the reason Soonyoung was in pain. It was him, it was all him.

All he wanted was for Soonyoung to be happy. That was all he had ever wanted. He thought he could do it. He _wanted_ to do it. He wanted to make Soonyoung happy. He wanted to be Soonyoung’s one and only. He’d let his imagination run away with him. The fanciful idea that they could be happy together, free of worldly cares, dreams of public dates and being together forever.

Now all he could beg God for was that he would open his eyes.

Mingyu said he was irrational – that Soonyoung would wake up – but he couldn’t take the chance. He would pray, he would sell his soul, he would do anything.

 _His_ Soonyoung. His cheerful, bright ray of sunshine. His prince.

He couldn’t get rid of the images – of Soonyoung tied up on a truck, Soonyoung limp in his arms, Soonyoung bleeding out on a bed. They haunted his mind. They would for a while, he reckoned.

His Soonyoung had to get better. He had to at least have the chance to apologize and grovel. He should at least be granted that much. Or, no, not even that – he wouldn’t ask for that chance. If he could see Soonyoung alive, well, happy, he could deal with anything. He could deal with Soonyoung leaving him, dating, marrying somebody else. Thoughts that had been once so abominable to him would now be a blessing.

As long as Soonyoung was safe and healthy.

_Please, God, please._

 

“Why didn’t you wake me up?”

“Because I don’t _like_ you.”

Seokmin scowled.

“…I told him I could leave if he wanted to wake you up. He didn’t. He asked me to stay. I don’t know if it was out of consideration, or if he didn’t want to talk to you, but it seemed like the latter.”

“Why wouldn’t he…”

Mingyu gave him a disparaging look. “He was conscious for his trade-off. Says you didn’t hold him when you saved him.”

“…couldn’t, at first.”

“I explained that.”

“Thought you didn’t like me?”

“I don’t, but I believe in giving credit where credit is due.”

“…well, thanks.”

The two ate their food in silence: by the time they were done, Soonyoung seemed to be coming around.

Kind of.

“It’s okay, it’s okay.” Soonyoung’s arms moved to his chest, scowling in his dreams. “It’s okay, hyung is here. I’m here, baby brother. I’m here. I’ll make you better. I know. It hurts. I know.”

Mingyu stared bleakly. “He gets that nightmare a lot when he’s stressed out.”

“Should we wake him?”

“If we don’t, he’ll wake up screaming. He’ll rip a suture. I’ll go out and talk to Minghao. It’s your turn.”

Seokmin gently lifted Soonyoung’s fringe as Mingyu left. “Soonyoung. Soonyoung. It’s okay. Wake up. Soonyoung.”

His eyes burst open as Seokmin pinned him down, breathing heavily. Slowly, he stopped panting.

“Seokmin.”

For a moment, the two just stared at each other in complete awe.

Seokmin’s hand curled around his boyfriend’s head, thumb smoothing over the cheek. “ _Soonyoung_ ,” he whispered, staring.

Soonyoung looked back blankly.

The tough, hardened gangster, flunked back down into his chair and _cried_. He wanted to speak to Soonyoung, to reassure him, but all he could do was hide his face in the sheets around the architect and _sob_ with relief, shaking from head to toe.

After a few bewildered minutes, Soonyoung’s hand mussed over the man’s hair. “Don’t cry,” he mumbled. “It’s not cute.”

“I-I-I-‘m – I’m so-so-rry, I just, I just…” He gasped in between his words. “I’m just- I’m just so- so happy – yo-you’re… you’re- alive!”

Soonyoung slowly stroked Seokmin’s hair as the man sniffled his way back to normalcy, hastily wiping his face with the backs of his hands. “So-sorry. I didn’t. I didn’t mean to. God. To do that. Sorry, sorry Soonyoung. H-how are you?” he turned to the architect quickly. “Are you in pain anywhere? Thirsty? Hungry?”

Soonyoung just shook his head.

“Soonyoung. My Soonyoung.” Seokmin held the boy’s hand between his own two, pressing kisses on all his fingers. “My precious, precious, precious…”

“A little thirsty,” the boy eventually mentioned.

Seokmin almost fell over his own feet in the struggle to get his boyfriend water quickly – it was almost comical, but the young man had a feeling if he laughed it would hurt. The gangster hurried back, gently tipping the straw so the boy could drink. “There. Is- is that better? Sorry I wasn’t quicker.”

“You’re fine.” Soonyoung let the straw go a moment, moving to take the glass and set it down. “Sit.”

Seokmin sat obediently, staring at his boyfriend with wide eyes. He almost took Soonyoung’s hand again, but stared at it for a moment before putting both hands in his lap.

Moments went by.

“…thank you.”

Seokmin frowned, and then choked. “What?”

“For saving me?” Soonyoung sighed, staring at the ceiling. “If you didn’t, I’d be Jeonghan chow by now. Thanks for rescuing me.”

Seokmin gave him a look of complete confusion. “But it’s my fault you were there in the _first place_!”

Soonyoung nodded slightly, eyes roaming around the panels on the ceiling. “There _is_ that, yes.”

Seokmin closed his eyes slowly, pressing his forehead against the edge of the bed. “If you think I’ll ever forgive myself, you’re wrong. I’ll berate myself for this for as long as I live.”

“…that’s an awfully long time, Seokmin.”

“Do you think _any_ amount of time used to atone will _ever_ make this right? Make up for what… what you…”

The architect moved to press two fingers over his lover’s mouth, hushing him instantly. “Stop. Just… just stop.” Now it was Soonyoung’s turn: little tears squeezed out from the sides of his eyes. “I just… I just…”

Seokmin watched him in horror.

“I hurt, Seokmin. Inside.”

The man reached for Soonyoung’s hand instantly, cupping it against his face, trying to soothe him. “Shh, shh. I’m sorry, Soonyoung. I’m so, so sorry.”

The two simply sat there for a while as Soonyoung sniffled, drying his eyes furiously. “Sorry. I – that’s not fair on you. I didn’t… anyway.”

He shook his head slowly. “You shouldn’t be apologizing to me. For anything. Being in love means never having to say you’re sorry.”

Soonyoung cringed at him. “What drivel is that?”

“What?”

“Where’d you get such a crackpot idea from that you never have to say sorry if you’re in love?”

“…it’s from a book.”

“Burn it.”

Seokmin nodded. “Anything for you.”

Soonyoung stared at him with an incredibly sad expression for a moment before shaking the idea away infinitesimally, turning to knew thoughts. “I _am_ kind of hungry.”

“We have your favorite pizza.”

He shook his head. “I need to see a dentist. A few of my teeth are, uh…”

The hand that was clasped around the railing of the bed suddenly tensed: fingers bright red, knuckles a sickly green-white. It trembled a moment before he was able to release it. “…if I order soup?”

The boy in the bed nodded.

“And after that, some more rest.”

He could only nod once more.

Seokmin ordered soup on his phone before returning his attention to Soonyoung. He held the rails of the bed, staring at the light blue blankets that covered the boy from top to bottom. “If you want to ask questions, I’ll answer them,” he mumbled softly.

It took Soonyoung a moment. “Okay.” The silence was nice – not pressured, just tranquil. “…how old are you?”

Seokmin sat up in surprise, looking at the boy. “ _What?_ ”

Soonyoung glanced around the room a moment to make sure they were alone. “When we were with your brother, he said you were too old for me. Ever since then, I’ve kind of wondered how old you are. I never asked before.”

Seokmin bit his lip. “Promise not to be mad?”

“Sure.”

“…I’m thirty-nine.”

Soonyoung’s eyebrows went up – and then very quickly came down again, as if the shallow cut on his forehead reminded him that maybe extreme facial expressions were a bad idea.

The gangster looked up guiltily. “Is that awful?”

Soonyoung twitched. “Well… your brother was right.”

Seokmin sighed heavily, moving the rail down so he could lean his chin on the bed. “Yeah. Minghao said the same. I’m too old for you.”

“…can I ask another question?”

“M-hm.”

“It’s kind of important. I know you said it, but I need to hear it again. Jeonghan won’t find my family, right?”

“Right. Of course not. When you first got your tattoo I erased your records. Jeonghan would have to miraculously stumble across your brother’s adoption papers to find your name in them. There is _no possible way_ he can use them to hurt you.”

Soonyoung closed his eyes. “I’m not the one he wants to hurt.”

Seokmin couldn’t ask, but Soonyoung told him anyway.

“It’s… well, I guess he wouldn’t _mind_ hurting me. Um, when he and I first met, he told me that two people long ago ruined his life, and that he wanted to get his own back. Revenge. Those two people… are my father and cousin.”

The gangster frowned a moment. “Your father and cousin… are the two men Jeonghan wants dead?”

“You know about that?”

Seokmin nodded slowly. “He brought it up once. I denied him then. It was a while back. I never thought… never _dreamed_ …” He suddenly looked up, eyes burning. “Soonyoung, I will _not_ let Jeonghan get near them. No matter what. They are your _family_.”

A long moment passed as they looked at each other.

“Thank you.”

“You never have to thank me, Soonyoung.”

The boy nodded and closed his eyes: they sat silent for a while before he spoke again. “Another question?”

“Of course.”

“The day you were drunk and came to my house.”

He stiffened.

“You said something to me while you were drunk.”

“Yes?”

“That if I left you again, you’d really become the monster I think you are.”

He gulped. His voice hushed to a haunted, forsaken whisper. “Yes... Yes, I’m scared of that.”

“I wanted to clarify.” He paused for a reaction, but didn’t get one. “I don’t think you’re a monster. I never did. I don’t think I ever will.”

It took a moment and a little wriggling in the bed for him to see Seokmin’s face: when the gangster finally looked up, the expression was wild, frenzied – terrified, shocked, pained, and relieved, all at the same time. He was a mess of a man. “…you… don’t?”

Soonyoung shook his head.

“… _Soonyoung_ I –”

“I have, _one_ , hot chicken soup that requires _no_ chewing and _one_ hot beef soup for the bossman!” Minghao walked in with a bag in either hand cheerily. “Hi Soonyoung! Hope you’re hungry, cause it smells _really_ good!”

Soonyoung managed to crack a weak smile. “Hey, Minghao.”

Seokmin sat up straight, and let his lover be fed. But this was not over.


	19. Chapter 19

“Can I ask more questions?”

Seokmin glanced up from the sleeping cot he’d assembled to sleep beside his lover in his office. “You should try and sleep more. You have a lot of getting well to do.”

“I know. But I have questions.”

He sighed, straightening.  The two stared at the ceiling while he deliberated.

“You may ask three questions before we sleep.”

“…the day you came to me drunk. The day after. When we… became boyfriends.” Soonyoung exhaled a little sadly, if that were possible. “You didn’t dismiss Jeonghan afterwards.”

The reply was not swift. “No, I did not.”

“Why?”

“To keep an underground organization running, the members need to be well-fed, have the money in their pockets to drink heartily, and have the ability to fuck when they like. You’d be surprised how many people I employ who prefer male company to the local hostess club.”

“Did you see Jeonghan? After I left?”

“Once. We didn’t… we weren’t… we _didn’t_. I told him his services would no longer be put to use by me. That was before we… before you took me back. He was angry, and left. That’s the end, and that’s three questions.”

“Two questions, that first one was a comment.”

Seokmin scowled. “Fine.”

“…if I promise not to leave you, so you don’t become a monster… I need you to promise in return. I’ll tell you what it is, but I don’t want you to answer. I want you to make the promise in the safety of your heart, not on the tip of a faulty tongue.”

Seokmin turned entirely to look at Soonyoung, but the young man just stared at the ceiling.

“Anything.”

His voice seemed tranquil, but far-away, as if it were the voice of a fairytale, speaking from a fairytale world. “…I have fallen in love with you, Lee Seokmin. I think I fell in love with you the moment I held you during the storm. I think I fell in love with you a long time ago.” He turned over on his side, showing his back to him. “Don’t let me regret it anymore.”

 

The immense boom rattled him to his core, shaking his bones: it pulled his whole body from the sheets in shock, and it was only after he heard the deafening staccato on the windows that he could calm himself.

It was just a storm, just a storm.

_It wasn’t the door of a concrete cell slamming._

_He wasn’t there anymore._

_He was safe now._

It took a few moments for his heart to settle in his chest, and when it had, a flash of light filled the room and changed the dynamic considerably.

There was a shaking huddle by the side of his bed. Shaking, sobbing, and letting out small keens of inexcusable fear.

He had to shake the bonds of sleep that were trying to recapture him off a moment before leaning over to touch his head. “Seokmin. Seokmin.”

The man looked up – eyes bloodshot, face slick with tears, trembling.

“Why aren’t you hiding?” His voice carried stronger in the darkness. “You can go hide.”

“N-no.” And there it was – behind the terror of his eyes and behind the quivering of his skin there was a steadfast determination that seized the man all at once. Seokmin grappled with Soonyoung’s soft hand that he held in both of his, turning to stare harshly at the wall. “I will not.”

Another roll of thunder came about, causing even windowpanes to tremble: Seokmin pressed his head in Soonyoung’s sheets to stifle the sob that naturally came with it.

After a few moments he righted himself, breathing heavily. “I can do this. I can be brave. For you. To stay with you. I can be brave for you.”

Soonyoung twisted in the bed to glare at the city through the windows – distorted by the merciless lashings of rain, almost entirely black in the dead of the night. Then he slowly slid to the far side of his bed, and picked up the sheets in an invitation to join him under them.

“Who told you to be so brave alone?”

 

“Soonyoung?”

“Hmm?”

“…thank you.”

“For what?”

Seokmin’s arms constricted around the boy’s body, squeezing him very gently. “This.”

Soonyoung nodded, and the two simply spent time in each other’s embrace in the quiet early morning rays of sunshine.

“I’m worried.”

“About what?”

“You asked a lot of questions yesterday, but none of them were about…”

The breath Soonyoung drew was shaky, at best. “I don’t want to think about it. I don’t want to talk about it. It hurts. I don’t want to… I want to forget it happened.”

Seokmin nodded instantly, in a movement that reassured his partner, but quietly addended it with: “You’re going to have to, at some point. Or you’ll get a complex.”

Soonyoung smiled very gently, a spark of his mischievous character returning. “That’s a problem for future-me.”

“Are you really comfortable with that?”

“I am.”

“Then… I can live with it, too. When you’re ready to talk, don’t shut me out, okay?”

“Okay.”

Soonyoung’s fingers danced light patterns on Seokmin’s shirt, sometimes raising or pulling down the collar slightly. “I think all the morphine is wearing off.”

“Are you in pain?”

“Jaw hurts.”

“I’ll call my dentist and have him make a house call here. Is that alright with you? Or… or would you prefer it, maybe, if… if he didn’t see you here? Didn’t link you with me?”

Even though Seokmin waited for an answer, his architect could only sigh heavily, staring at the ceiling.

“Soonie?”

“Let’s not be like this anymore.”

Seokmin frowned, but nodded. “Okay. I understand. I… I had a feeling you might feel that way, after everything. I understand. It’s too selfish of me to keep you as my boyfriend.”

Soonyoung cringed a moment before smoothing his painful face. “I’m not dumping you, you fool.”

Seokmin scowled. “You’re not?”

He shook his head.

“Then… what do you mean?”

“Let’s not be like this anymore. Let’s no longer be a couple where you’re part of the mafia and I’m not. Let’s not always be in the situation where I’m needing to be rescued, let’s not be in a place where we constantly have to hide our relationship in fear of somebody hurting me. Let’s not be like that anymore, Seokmin. I don’t want to half-ass our relationship anymore. From all this… I guess that’s what I’ve learned. Life is too precious, and having you _in_ my life is too precious. We never know when we might be hurt or kidnapped… hell, I could walk across the street tomorrow and get hit by a bus. So, with the time we still have… let’s be real. As real as we can be.”

Seokmin seemed to stare at his boyfriend’s neck.

“Let’s be the mafia together, Seokmin. Let’s be equal in that. I’ll toughen up, if that’s what you think I need. But… I don’t like being separate and apart from you. I… I sat in a stone basement for hours under torture, and I didn’t utter a word about your phobia, or your brother. If that doesn’t already practically make me a part of your very soul, what will? I guess… I want that kind of reassurance. That you need me, as much and in the same way as I need you.”

“I do.”

“Not in the obsessive, extreme adoration way you seem to have. I don’t want to be a doll you obsess over. I want to be a rock you can depend on. Somebody you can talk to. Most of all… I don’t want to be your weak link anymore.”

“That’s not what it’s like.”

“Yes it is. If you don’t see it that way, then that’s nice, but it doesn’t change anything.” Soonyoung finally turned to smile at his boyfriend. “You’re not my Latin homework. I don’t want to half-ass you.”

Seokmin had to chuckle at that, just a _little_ , before turning serious again. “Do you… know what you’re asking?”

“…you run your business like it’s the King’s palace. You are the King. Jeong- … _he_ used to be the Queen, and I _used_ to be the concubine: now he’s gone and I’m the Queen, but it’s not enough. I don’t want to be your lowly Queen. I want to be your Prince Consort. I want to be your Head of State. I want to be your advisor. I want to sit next to you on a throne just as large and ornate. I want the entire world to know we sleep together, and I want the entire world to know I’m to be feared _just as much_ as you are.” Soonyoung’s eyes turned into smaller slits than usual as he glared at the ceiling. “Because if Jeonghan tries to touch me, touch you, or touch my family… he won’t have hands to touch with, eyes to see with, or legs to walk with for very long.”

Seokmin gaped in awe for a moment before hiding his smile part-way in Soonyoung’s pillow. “Soonie, as long as you talk like that, that ruthless and merciless… I hate to inform you, but… if that’s how you feel, you’re already the mafia.”

Soonyoung’s head gently rolled over the pillow to stare at his lover. “Well? Will you grant my request?”

Seokmin stared for a while. “Can you give me a week to think it over?”

“What is there to think about?”

“I need time to weigh up how much danger you’re in now, versus how much danger you _will_ be in.”

The architect thought about it, and nodded. “I guess it’s fair I let you think about that.”

Seokmin’s long, slender fingers played with curls that brushed his lover’s hairline for a long moment, humming. “You want the entire world to know about us?”

The boy nodded back.

“With the exclusion of a blind man and an ex-prostitute living on Jeju island, right?”

“And possibly a blond high schooler who’s spoiled to death.”

Seokmin grinned. “It’s an interesting proposition.”

“I’m glad you think so.” Soonyoung sighed a little. “How long do the sutures need to stay in for? It’s kind of annoying. They itch.”

“I’d say we can take them out by tomorrow morning, if you heal well enough.” Seokmin pulled up the covers to glance at his lover’s body. “Luckily, I only had to suture this one, and it’s only a few stitches. The rest didn’t need to be sewn up. Honestly… I’ve seen worse done. You got off light.”

“I think Jeo-… _he_ expected me to stay longer than I did. You must have given up a lot for my safe return.”

Seokmin frowned slightly, eyes passing over Soonyoung’s head a moment. “No. I didn’t, really. That’s the strangest thing. There’s something going on with them to have released you so quickly, under an apparent pretence of a ransom.”

“What ransom?”

“A few blocks of the drug market is all. Miniscule, really. I’ll have to watch how it plays out. But don’t worry about it anymore – you’re safe now, in my arms.”

“… _question_. The only one I’ll be asking about…”

“Yes?”

“You didn’t hold me when you got me back. He pushed me at you. You didn’t step forward for me, you didn’t hold me… you had a subordinate pull me away from you.”

“There are rules. Precautions.”

“I know.”

“Then…?”

“I’ve been worried you might not _really_ love me, sometimes. Your love is… obsessive, and dark, and all-encompassing. And sometimes I get scared it will become controlling, dominating and lonely. I don’t want to have a dark lovestory with you. That’s not how we should be. My personality is too light and buoyant for it, and your personality – your _real_ personality, not the mafia boss mask – is too puppy-like and cute for it. I want to have a happy-ending Disney lovestory with you. We’re not _Fifty Shades of Abuse,_ we’re… some fourteen-year-old fangirl’s fanfiction where Castiel and Dean are domestic. We can let the mafia be our dark story. I want a _real_ love. I want to know you really love me.”

Seokmin quietly pressed his face into Soonyoung’s shoulder for a while, thinking about it. “I… I think I really _do_ love you, Soonyoung. It’s the strangest thing I’ve ever felt. But for me… the way I live my life… obsession is the only way I know to show my adoration. Being near you, kissing you, holding you, keeping you close… it’s hard to think of love as something other than that. Even though I know you deserve more.”

Soonyoung nodded. “I get that. I… sympathize with that. I understand. A little. Maybe. There are things I will have to learn as well. It might all crumble beneath our feet in the end, too. But I don’t want to feel like if your crazy adoration of me ever wanes, that you’ll give up on me and move on to the next shiny toy. If I’m going to live in this world, I want a foundation that’s stronger than blind fanaticism. One where I know, even if you don’t act like a lovesick puppy when you see me, where I _know_ you still love me. I’ll work on it with you, if you like.”

He nodded. “That would be greatly appreciated. I think I can do it, too. Especially if you help. That’ll be nice. It sounds like you plan on us having a very… healthy, balanced love life.”

“I do. A healthy love life and a healthy sex life are probably the only things that will be able to make up for the fact that we’re now officially gangsters.”

“One week,” he pleaded, holding up one finger.

“Yeah, yeah, one week.” Soonyoung leaned in to press a kiss on the finger he was presented with. “I… I love you, Seokmin.”

The man’s stoic, strong face grew very warm, suddenly: eyes became soft, smile became gummy and light. He leaned in to press a very gentle kiss to Soonyoung’s cheek. “I love you too. You give me so much hope.”

Soonyoung grinned back, searching gently for his kiss on the lips, which he received in due time. “I like that. Giving you hope. I think we’re a very hopeful couple.”

“Agreed.” Seokmin kissed him again and again until he gave up, stretching. “I need to grab a shower. And since you can’t do the same, I’ll just have to give you a sponge bath. Oh dear. It’ll be _so_ awful, having to gently touch your body, making you wet, rubbing your skin softly…”

Soonyoung bit his lip. “Mm? Really? Sounds terrible.”

“Doesn’t it?” Seokmin’s lithe fingers danced over his boyfriend’s skin under the blankets, tickling his chest. “I’ll have to take such special care… and kiss you better whenever I give you an ouchie… touching my lover all over… it’ll be _hell_.”

He chuckled lightly. “We shouldn’t be talking like this. I’m an invalid, you know. We shouldn’t be doing anything too interesting. In case I get properly hurt.”

Seokmin’s stubble chafed a little against Soonyoung’s delicate skin as he sidled up close, lips so near his ear they pressed against him whenever they pursed. “But Soonyoungie, wouldn’t you like to be sucked off? My lips around your cock…”

“I’m just back from being kidnapped and tortured, and the only thing you can think of is sex?”

He gave him a guilty look. “Sorry. I thought you’d like it.”

“Oh, I would. I just like being cuddled more. We can have sex when I’m on my feet again.”

“Do you promise?”

“Super promise. I’ll make it worth your while.”

“It’s a date. But I really _should_ get a shower, before you smell something you don’t like and push me out of the bed.” Seokmin pulled himself up with a roguish grin, sliding over the edge. “And you _do_ need a sponge bath. And your bandages need to be changed over.”

“M-hm.”

 

“Soonie?”

“Hm?”

“What’s this?”

“Don’t make fun.” Soonyoung cupped a hand over himself. “It’s just cause I’m sensitive and I spent all that time away from you in Yongin.”

“No, I didn’t mean that. This.” Seokmin tapped the dark pink mark on Soonyoung’s skin. “What’s this scar? It looks recent, but not _that_ recent.”

“Oh, that.” He relaxed a little. “When we… when I left, I got appendicitis. They had to take it out and put me on antibiotics.”

Seokmin grew very quiet, gently leaning in to press a kiss against the scar. “Did it hurt a lot?”

“… _yeah_ , it was appendicitis.”

“…I’m sorry.”

“What on earth for?”

“I wasn’t here for you when you were in pain.”

Soonyoung rolled his eyes a little. “Don’t give it that much thought, it wasn’t so bad. You’re not the only person I know. I have friends. They help me out with stuff, too.”

He thought about it, pressing his lips to the scar over and over. “I’m glad you have friends. I still would have liked to support you alongside them.”

“We weren’t having a very mutually supportive relationship back then. It was better this way.” He began to giggle. “That tickles! Can’t you go shave?”

“I’ll go shave. But first… please?”

“No!”

“Aw, come on, please? Super please?”

“I said no!” he laughed.

“Super duper mega please with ice-cream and a cherry on top?”

“The relative size and/or tastiness of the _please_ has absolutely _no_ bearing on my answer!”

“Just one little orgasm? I’ll suck extra hard!”

“Lee Seokmin, go shave your damn face.”

He sighed in dramatic discouragement, sliding away from his boyfriend’s hips. “Yes, sir.”

Soonyoung smiled a little to himself, gently pulling himself off the stand-alone cot in the bathtub, using his good foot to swivel himself back onto the bed on wheels. “That’s my lover.”

“Not much _loving_ going on,” he pouted.

“Why don’t you just focus on what will happen when this sprained ankle heals up and I get these sutures removed?” he encouraged.

“Oh yeah?” Seokmin lathered up his shaving cream on his face, giving the mirror his best sad puppy eyes. “What happens then?”

“Well, you have a four-poster bed and bondage toys. I’m sure you can use your imagination. For instance, I’ve never roleplayed before. I think being your naughty maid would be _very_ stimulating. And I’m looking forward to going through the extensive buttplug collection you keep in the back of your bathroom cupboard.”

“Y-yeah?” Seokmin’s hand faltered, dropping his blade in the sink.

Soonyoung laughed. “How about you concentrate on not cutting yourself?”

“I hate you.”

“Keep telling yourself that.”

“No, wait, it’s a lie. I love you.” Seokmin took care and precision in scaping the sharp edge of his jaw. “I take it back. Don’t think I hate you.”

“I don’t know, I think a _tiny_ bit of hatred would make things interesting, especially in the bedroom.”

“Why are you like this? I’ll cut myself.”

“Don’t cut yourself.”

“You’re making it very hard.”

“I’ll shut up.” He waited until his lover was suitably shaven before accepting him with open wide arms, groaning a little into the kiss he received. “What’s all that tongue for?”

“It’s punishment for distracting me.”

“Shut up.”


	20. Chapter 20

Mingyu sighed. “I’m not impressed.”

“Aw, come on! I didn’t bring Seokmin, I didn’t bring Eyoung, I have a big bag of fried food and I’m not about to make your life hard! Can’t you just let me live?”

“If you promise to _stay alive_ ,” the giant murmured, shutting the door behind his friend and taking the bag. “Did you get a real doctor to look at that foot?”

“Nah, it’s just a sprain.” Soonyoung flopped onto the couch, allowing his crutches to fall to the floor. “It doesn’t hurt that much. I’ll be fine in a few weeks.”

“I’m not impressed.”

“Yes, I vaguely remember you mentioning that.” Soonyoung moved to tackle his best friend in a thick hug, hauling him down to sit. “I’m home now and I’m doing well, so can’t you forgive me? Please?”

“It’s your own stupid fault, you know. I told you not to become a member of the mafia. But no, you had to know better. And now look what happened to you. I was really worried you know! Wonwoo and Eyoung and even Roa, they were all worried!”

“You told _Roa_?”

Mingyu sniffed haughtily. “ _I_ don’t keep secrets from _my_ siblings.”

That earned him a harsh pinch. “Don’t be cruel. That was uncalled for. Besides, can you stop telling your little sister what I’m doing in my life? She has a really uncomfortable crush on me.”

“She has a boyfriend now.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Wow. How old is she?”

“Seventeen.”

Soonyoung observed his friend for a moment before realizing the topic made him both uncomfortable _and_ angry, so quickly moved on. “Anyway, you have to forgive me, because it’s not my fault. How was I meant to know it was going to happen?”

“Dude, I’m _worried_ about you. Even though that Seokmin guy… he seems to really like you, but that doesn’t make things safer for you! What are you going to do now, huh?”

Soonyoung sighed deeply before sitting normally next to his friend. “Thanks for worrying about me, Mingyu. I know it hasn’t been easy on you, either.”

Mingyu groaned and put an arm around him. “Don’t be worried about me, stupid.”

“Do… do you _really_ want to know what I’m going to do now? What my plan is?”

“Yeah, I want to know, so I can talk you out of it if it’s stupid.”

Soonyoung pursed his lips. “You gotta listen.”

“Duh.”

“I think… Seokmin said he would think about it, but from now on… I think I’ll be a proper member, and become the joint head of the mafia.”

 _“WHAT?_ ”

“Just listen I-”

“No. No, no, no! That is _not_ happening! You cannot do that Soonyoung, you _cannot_ do that!” Mingyu stood up, furious in an instant. “There’s no way! How am I supposed to look your parents in the eye again? Huh? How am I supposed to explain that to Samuel? Do you know what he said to me when I left Jeju? He told me to take care of his most precious big brother! How am I supposed to explain myself to that child if you go do something stupid like this? Hm?! And my own mother! How am I supposed to look her in the face now if you do this!”

“Can you calm down? Let me explain.”

“You _can’t_ do it!”

“Kim Mingyu, _sit down._ ”

Mingyu growled in anger, stomped his foot, and then sat.

“Just listen. The way things are now is a little dysfunctional. I don’t know why we were all expecting me to be a gangster’s boyfriend with no consequences or dangers to it. If I become a joint head of the mafia _with him_ , things will change. I’ll have the same amount of fear and respect he has. The other mafia factions will _have_ to accept that I’m a bigger deal than just his side-hoe.”

“That makes no sense,” the boy scowled.

“It’s making sure I’m too important for them to try it again – they’ll think twice before touching me again. It’s hiding me in plain sight. It’s making them _be afraid_ to touch me.”

“… _oh_.” Mingyu thought about it and then scowled even more. “I still don’t like it.”

“Well, when you have a better idea that guarantees my safety, I’d love to hear it.”

“Rat Seokmin out and go into the Witness Protection Programme.”

“Something that guarantees my safety _and_ keeps my relationship with the man I love, you numbskull.”

Mingyu sighed, putting his face in his hands. “There _has_ to be _several_ better options than this. I can’t lose my best friend to the mafia.”

“I’ll still be your best friend, Mingyu.”

“You won’t though, will you? You’re going to turn different. You won’t watch Adventure Time anymore on Saturday mornings with me, you’ll be busy robbing banks and shooting people in the chest and putting horse heads into people’s beds. You’re going to change. You’ll lose every part of yourself that’s my best friend.”

Soonyoung shook his head. “No. You’ll always be my best friend, Mingyu.”

“You’re choosing for boyfriend _over me_.”

“Really? Where am I now?”

“What?”

“Where am I _right now_? Am I with Seokmin? Am I staying there a moment longer than I have to? No. I’m sitting here, with my best friend, on a couch we hitched off the street for free. I’m sitting with the guy I grew up with. Don’t say things like you’ll lose me. You, and my family, that’s where I’ll always be _me_.”

Mingyu wasn’t convinced.

“You think Seokmin is always the stoic, cold guy you always see? I thought that way for a long time, too. Turns out that’s not what he’s really like. He’s actually a really vulnerable guy. All soft and squishy. And he has a cute smile. He looks like a normal person when he’s not actively being a gangster. It’s a mask he puts on to keep himself safe. I’m willing to create a mask for myself, too. That way… when I come back here to be with my best friend, I can watch Adventure Time without having to worry. About either of us.”

Mingyu made a face. “Can you promise that you _will_ come back?”

“Every chance I get. But this… for now, it’s something I need to try. If it all gets messed up, I’ll come back and tell you that you were right. But I won’t be giving up my best friend for him, or for anything. You know us. We’re best buddies. I only have you.”

Mingyu sighed, clasping his pinky finger around the one he was offered. “Yeah, yeah. I only have you, too.”

“Besides, think about how great it will be. There will be _whole weekends_ I’ll be gone. Think of how many rooms you and Wonwoo can fuck in how many times over 72 hours.”

He blushed at that, shoving his friend. “Shut up.”

“Ahhhhh, you know you want to,” he teased, shoving back. “What’s going on with you two, anyway? Juicy details I need to know about?”

“Don’t try and change the subject! We’re talking about _your_ atrocious life decisions, not my love life.”

“But your love life is so much more _fun_.”

“So, what.” Mingyu turned on his friend with a vengeance. “Are you giving up your dream of being an architect to be a gangster?”

And to that, Soonyoung had no answer.

 

 _[Mingyu]:_ Hey. Corleone. Have you heard this new idea this chubby-cheeks idiot has?

 _[Seokmin]_ : Hello Mingyu. Yes, he’s made me aware of his intentions.

 _[Mingyu]_ : Don’t you dare tell me it’s something you agree with.

 _[Seokmin]:_ I promised Soonyoung I would think about it, but so far I’m not very impressed with the idea, no.

 _[Mingyu]:_ Good. We’re on the same page then. Soonyoung will not become a real part of the mafia. He will lead a normal life away from you.

 _[Seokmin]:_ It’s not that easy, Mingyu. I have to evaluate this properly. And Soonyoung is stubborn besides.

 _[Mingyu]:_ You realize if you say yes to him, he’ll be giving up everything? You’ll be taking him away from his best friend, his family, his _preferred career_. He’ll even give up a dream he’s had for ten years for you.

 _[Seokmin]:_ I had not considered that.

 _[Mingyu]:_ Consider it, then. If you really like him as much as you say, you wouldn’t let him do that.

 _[Seokmin]:_ He’s a grown man, I can’t force his hand if he changes his mind on something. Besides that, he’s kind of adorable when he’s being stubborn and he could probably force me with that alone.

 _[Mingyu]:_ Be a fucking man and do the right thing. You know this won’t help him. For once in your life, do right by Kwon Soonyoung and take care of him properly.

 

 

“Happy Christmas, my love.”

“Get in here, it’s cold as fuck.”

Seokmin laughed as he stepped through the door with his bouquet of dark red flowers, allowing his boyfriend to shut the door before going in for a kiss. “It’s good to see you too.”

“Be careful,” Soonyoung mumbled against his lips. “Mingyu isn’t-”

“So. The _mafia_ came to have Christmas, did he?” The giant appeared, unimpressed and arms folded in front of his chest. “Well isn’t that nice?”

“Mingyu, be nice,” another voice muttered, tapping the huge boy out of the way. “Hi, I’m Wonwoo. Sorry about the huge turd, he has no manners.”

Seokmin shook his hand easily enough. “I’m used to it. Did he, eh…?”

“Oh, the mafia thing? It’s cool. I’m not bothered. You employ my uncle, actually.”

“I do?”

“Boo Seungkwan.”

“Oh! Yes, God I haven’t seen Seungkwan in a while. How is he?”

“Good.”

“Good, good.”

“Can we move this conversation _out_ of our freezing hallway and _into_ the warm living room that I spent all morning decorating?” Soonyoung urged, spreading his arms wide to gather everybody towards the door.

“You spent all morning decorating? In your condition?”

“Am I _pregnant_?”

“He yelled at us for an hour about how we were decorating the tree wrong and then threw some tinsel at it,” Wonwoo grinned, skipping into the room. “Don’t worry, Mingyu wouldn’t let him do anything hard. He winced once, and Mingyu made him sit down immediately.”

“And I reiterate – am I fucking _pregnant_? You all worry too much.” Soonyoung used his boyfriend in lieu of a walking stick to get himself into the living room. “And I hate all of you.”

“That’s not fair.”

“It’s a nice tree. Well done, Mingyu.”

Mingyu glared down at the mafia boss. “I don’t need your compliments.”

“Don’t be an ass,” Soonyoung and Wonwoo chorused.

 

Christmas day was spent as a double date for a while: they played Twister, with Soonyoung _not_ playing along on account of certain sketchy scars and a sore ankle, and Monopoly, which Lee Seokmin brutally took over and won with complete ease.

“Never bet against the mafia,” he grinned, swiping a wad of fake cash from his boyfriend’s hands.

After admitting their defeat (or not, in Mingyu’s case,) the two went out for a romantic stroll in the snow, leaving the gangster and his boyfriend watching Home Alone on the couch.

“You know, this was really because I wanted you and Mingyu to start getting along and understand each other. It’s a pity they’re gone out.”

Seokmin’s mouth nuzzled in his boyfriend’s hair, planting a kiss on his head. “That’s okay. There’s plenty of time. Besides, I understand _him_ well enough.”

Soonyoung pursed his lips at his boyfriend. “But _he_ doesn’t understand _you_. He thinks you’re bad.”

“Well, I _am_ the mafia, you know.”

“Hmm, I _had_ noticed, yes.” He leaned in for a warm kiss, but pulled away before it could evolve. “But still, you’re a good person _to me_. I wanted him to see that. If he saw that, then maybe he’d lighten up a little. He’s just trying to look out for me.”

“He doesn’t want to lose you, I get that. You’ve got a very addictive personality.”

“Yeah… we’ve been together for a long time. Since I moved to Jeju, actually. No matter where I went, he followed me. Even though he says he promised my family he’d take care of me… in the end, I take care of him, too.”

“Are you trying to get me to feel sympathy for the giant that hates my guts?”

“Aw come on, not even a little?”

“Not even an inch.” He leaned in to peck Soonyoung’s nose. “But for you, I’d hug him for a whole day, if you asked me.”

“Don’t hug him.”

“Okay.”

Soonyoung leaned in to retrieve another kiss. “Hey… it’s been a week.”

Seokmin sighed. “I was hoping you wouldn’t remember.”

“You don’t know me very well, do you?”

“…no, I know you. I was just being hopeful.” Seokmin chuckled, mussing Soonyoung’s hair a little. “I love you, you know.”

“Don’t change the subject.”

He sighed again, tweaking a strand of his lover’s hair. “No, Soonyoung.”

“Why not?” he demanded.

“There are other ways of keeping you safe. Better ways. Safer ways.”

Soonyoung groaned, pressing his forehead against Seokmin’s shoulder. “That’s not fair. My way is the best way. The easiest way.”

Seokmin simply put his arms around his boyfriend. “There are better ways,” he whispered. “I walk the path I walk for my brother, Soonyoung, but I won’t ask you to walk it with me.”

“I’m already telling you, you don’t have to ask. I’m volunteering.”

“Whether I’m asking or you’re volunteering, it’s not a path you should be on.” Seokmin kissed his hair. “And that’s that.”

Soonyoung pouted, frowning. “This isn’t over.”

“Are you very angry?”

Soonyoung pursed his lips, pinching Seokmin’s skinny thigh. “No,” he scowled harder. “I’m not. It’s really hard being angry with you, you know. Besides, I _will_ get my way in the end.”

“And how are you going to do that?”

He thought about it. “I’ll be persuasive,” he answered, not sounding very persuasive.

Macaulay Culkin spent an extra few minutes dicking around in the snow on the television before Seokmin’s staring got annoying.

“What?”

“…I kind of expected you to try and seduce me into giving you what you wanted,” Seokmin blushed. “You’re not going to try and get your way with sex?”

Soonyoung leaned away. “You really have some high thoughts about me, don’t you?”

“It’s not like that. I’d do it if it was the other way around.”

“Well, that’s you. No, I’m not going to try and force you with sex. By giving it _or_ withholding it. I want you to say yes because you understand it’s the answer to our problems, not because I sucked your dick.” He sidled up again. “Besides, that would sully the good name of sex.”

“Hmm, sex _is_ a lot of fun when you’re not coercing somebody, I’ll admit.”

“You would know.”

“I would.”

“Can I watch my movie in peace, now?”

“Yes, my love.”


	21. Chapter 21

“…are you asleep?”

Soonyoung’s hair shagged to and fro for a moment before he turned slowly, keeping his head in his lover’s lap, simply turning towards him. “Very.”

Seokmin chuckled, playing with the long locks. “Time for a haircut.”

“Yeah.”

“So, I have a question.”

“Shoot.”

“Is it time for me to love you with Christmas presents now?”

“Oh, right.” He did his best attempt at a crunch before getting up. “I stashed yours in my room. I’ll go get it.”

“You got me a present?”

“Of course.”

Seokmin scowled into space as his boyfriend hobbled away to retrieve his present. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“You got me one!” He hobbled back, a large box in his hand. “Besides, my present is really three little ones, since I wasn’t really sure what to get you.”

“You got me three?”

“Little ones.”

“That’s not fair. I only got you three too, I wanted to get you more.” Seokmin dived into the large bag he’d brought, pulling up a large box. “But I guess one’s big, so…”

“That _is_ big.” Soonyoung pouted a little. “Mine are _really_ little though…”

“I’m already happy you thought of me.”

Soonyoung smiled softly before changing, shaking his head with a mighty cringe on his face. “We’re disgusting. Let’s get this sappiness over with.”

Seokmin laughed, taking the first box from his lover. “Alright, alright.”

The large cardboard box was unmarked, and it simply made Soonyoung scowl: when he finally ripped it open, though, he gasped, pulling it out. “Seokmin…”

“Your helmet is all battered and falling apart, how could it still be safe?” The gangster smiled angelically. “This one I had custom-made, so use it well, alright?”

The back of the helmet was decorated with the same sign that was on Soonyoung’s shoulder: a trio of black roses, set in a downward facing triangle. They were set against a cobalt blue background that turned into a starlit night at the front.

“It’s beautiful.”

“I’m glad you like it.”

“Okay, now you.” Soonyoung gently put his helmet on the table. “I guess I got you a functional present, too.”

Seokmin stared at the unwrapped box, uncomprehending. “…headphones?”

“I tried them out in the shop.” Soonyoung bit his lip. “You can’t hear a damn thing if you have them on. Trust me. I had Minghao yell at me as loud as he could.”

He frowned, turning the package over.

“It’s so that if there’s ever a storm I’m not near-by for… you don’t have to be afraid.”

The box dropped from Seokmin’s hands as he looked up, finally understanding – and before either of them could speak his lips were on Soonyoung’s, hands holding his face, kissing him sweetly.

“I love you, I love you, God, I love you so much.”

Soonyoung laughed against the enthusiastic pecks, giggling to himself. “You’re happy?”

“I love you, so much.” Seokmin kept kissing for a moment before backing away, staring at the box. “You thought so hard about what to… what I would…”

“I’m glad you like it.”

“Yeah, don’t take this the wrong way, but I _absolutely_ have to suck your cock later for this.”

He laughed happily, handing his boyfriend a small envelope. “Then your next present will be very beneficial.”

“What is it?” He opened the flap easily, reading what the booklet said carefully before giving his boyfriend a flat look. “ _Soonie Coupons?_ Really?”

“I think the coupons for sexual acts are in section B.” He winked once. “Use them wisely, and read the fine print. Sorry it isn’t anything spectacular.”

Seokmin flipped the booklet open and leafed through it before ripping one out. “This one. I want this one. Right now.”

He took it to read. “This coupon is good for one (1x) elated kiss?”

“Yes please. Right here.” He tapped his lips, closing his eyes.

Soonyoung leaned in to kiss him as happily as possible for a moment or two, sidling close. “There.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re very welcome.”

“It’s interesting, my gift to you is a paper one, too.” Seokmin pulled out a larger envelope, handing it over. “I had the dates changed so we can go in a few days. Spend the New Year.”

Soonyoung’s fingers slid over the edges of the tickets. “You remembered,” he smiled, glowing at a pair of ferry tickets headed for Jeju.

“I did. And I did a nice thing I think you’ll be happy with.”

He furrowed his brows. “There’s more than two.”

“You wanted me to get along with your stupid friend, right? I guessed he had a right to go home as much as anybody.”

Soonyoung bit his lip a moment in joy. “You realize I absolutely _have_ to suck your cock later for this, right?”

“…I wouldn’t mind. Here, last one. Don’t say you won’t use it or you’ll hurt my feelings.”

He winced a little at the sight of the blue velvet box. “It’s not a wedding ring, is it? Because I’m too young to be getting married.”

“I _promise_ it’s not a wedding ring.” Seokmin flipped it open. “It’s my family crest’s ring. I had it resized to fit you.”

The golden ring was set with a beautiful blue enamel oval, a small black stone on either side. In the middle, three black roses were set.

“I’d like it very much if you would wear my ring. You know. It’s a boyfriend thing.”

Soonyoung took it off and experimentally placed it on his finger.

“…well?”

“…it looks good on my hand.”

“I agree.”

“See? I could _so_ be an awesome member of the mafia, since I can wear cool rings like you can.”

“Let it go, baby.”

“Never.” Soonyoung pulled out his last box, but wavered a little before placing it in Seokmin’s lap. “This is… a weird present, I’ll admit. I can… it’s difficult to… just open it.”

It was a thick grey notebook, locked.

“It’s my diary that I kept. I started when I was four – that’s uh, ten years’ of thoughts I had in there.” Soonyoung pulled his legs up, curling into a ball. “For now it’s locked. Someday I’d like to give you the key. If I think I can… handle you knowing all that much about me. But for now… just knowing it’s in your hands… I guess it makes me feel a little safe. Like I want you to have this piece of me that nobody else has ever seen.”

Seokmin stared at the volume a few minutes before holding it to his chest a moment. “I won’t let you down.”

“I know.”

“…you know what we should do?”

“If you’re going to tell me we need to have sex, I won’t complain.”

Seokmin paused in realisation. “Okay, no, I’ve changed my answer. Let’s have sex.”

He laughed. “No, seriously, what were you going to say?”

“I _was_ going to say we should get matching tattoos, or bake Christmas cookies, or get matching outfits, but I like _your_ idea much better.”

“…we can get matching outfits some other day.” Soonyoung put his arms around his boyfriend, leaning in for a scandalously warm kiss. Within moments, he was in his boyfriend’s lap, grinding his hips slowly.

Seokmin was pulling Soonyoung’s shirt off his shoulders when they heard it.

“It’s fucking _freezing_ outside,” Wonwoo groaned, trampling into the house, snowflakes in his hair. “Are you guys still – oh, uh, _uhhhh..._ ”

“What?” Mingyu slid beside his boyfriend, dusting snow out of his own hair before he cautiously watched his best friend shrug his shirt back onto his shoulders, trying to do up the buttons. “Aw, man, _on the couch?_ Don’t you have _any_ decency?”

Seokmin pointed. “He came on to _me_.”

“That’s fair,” Soonyoung added, finishing his buttons. “Seokmin wanted to bake cookies. I wanted to have deep, filthy, lubey-”

“LALALALALA,” Mingyu screamed, pressing his hands to his ears. “I heard enough!”

“Cookies? I’m kind of hungry.”

“Eat a proper meal,” Mingyu muttered, putting his arms around his boyfriend. “They tried to have sex on my couch.”

Wonwoo pouted. “It’s not like we haven’t-”

“LALALALALA.”

Wonwoo pinched his boyfriend in the arm with a roll of the eyes. “Can we really make cookies?”

“Actually, I’m kind of hungry anyway. Maybe we should order something.” Seokmin patted his boyfriend’s thigh. “Maybe another time.”

“Maybe when you have the full function of your _legs_ ,” Mingyu scowled. “And aren’t on _my couch_.”

“I’m in the mood for pancakes.”

“Sounds good. My treat.”

“These two aren’t even bothered by it, either!”

“Mingyu, _please_ let me live.”

It was, to say the least, a very lively Christmas Day.

 

“I’m not sure whether I’m upset or elated.”

“Try to be elated,” Soonyoung murmured, throwing his bag over his shoulder anxiously. “Aren’t you ready yet?”

“Your boyfriend isn’t going to pick us up for another _two hours_ , what are you already packed for?”

Soonyoung jiggled from one foot to another impatiently. “I want to _go_ , how can you be this slow at packing? Don’t you want to see your family? Your beloved baby sister?”

“Of course.”

“Then get _going_. Hurry up. I want to leave!”

“The ferry doesn’t leave for-” Mingyu stopped short and chuckled to himself when his best friend huffed off, moving to their kitchen: Soonyoung’s impatience to get back and see his family was comical and sweet.

When Lee Seokmin finally rang the doorbell, Soonyoung practically ripped the door off its hinges.

“Ready to go, guys?”

“ _Mingyu_ ,” Soonyoung screamed, already barrelling out the door. “Let’s go!”

The gangster laughed, grinning at the giant. “He’s excited, isn’t he?”

“He’s been bouncing all week.”

“I’m winning brownie points for this,” he smiled gently, watching Soonyoung stomp his way towards the car.

“Guess you are, yeah.”

Seokmin turned to him.

Mingyu held up both palms before turning to lock the front door and walking past him. “Regardless of what you’re doing to him… I owe you one for this. I haven’t seen my family in a while.”

Seokmin smirked to himself.

“Stop grinning like an idiot,” Mingyu called, not even turning his head as he approached the car. “Or I’ll set my sister off on you.”

“You don’t want that,” Wonwoo bounced from inside the car, having already been picked up by Seokmin. “Roa’s a little monster. She’ll clasp onto you and never let you go.”

Seokmin simply chuckled at his boyfriend, who was jumping on his seat in the car, before sliding in last.

“But I thought Roa had a boyfriend?”

“Oh shit, they broke up like 15 minutes after they got together.” Mingyu rolled his eyes, searching for a seatbelt in the limousine-esque backseat. “Never know what that kid’s up to.”

“There’s no seatbelts,” Seokmin offered.

Mingyu’s arms lowered slowly. “But… what about road safety?”

“He’s kidding, right?”

Soonyoung had to step in to halt World War 3 before it broke out.

 

His legs shook in the car and he bounced up and down on his seat on the ferry: he took multiple trips to walk around the vessel, walking in and out until the salt from the sea air had ruined his hair. It was endearing to Seokmin to see his boyfriend so very excited: he simply watched the boy stomp around hurriedly with a soft, dopey smile on his face.

Wonwoo and Mingyu were in a world of their own, but the dreamy look on Seokmin’s face didn’t escape Mingyu’s notice.

Soonyoung was first in line to hurry off the ferry, closely followed by his boyfriend who eventually took his hand to keep him anchored in place until their companions caught up at the pier.

“Listen, since I live a little further in-land, we’re just going to grab a cab up to the house.”

“We’ll walk,” Soonyoung answered. “Since we’re pretty close. I’ll text you later, okay?”

“Right. See you – behave yourself and keep your asshat in check!”

“Y-yeah, well, you… you go deal with a teenaged Roa!” was the best Soonyoung could come up with as his best friend made for the line of taxi services outside the harbor. “You coming?”

Seokmin grinned, allowing himself to be led away on foot: Soonyoung seemed to know every street on the island as if he’d lived there all his life, easily taking shortcuts through alleyways and skipping the soft sand of the beach for an easier-to-travel stone pathway. Seokmin didn’t mind the agitated pace: he simply enjoyed the scenery, the warmth of his boyfriend’s hand in his, and the fact that he’d made him so very happy.

Soonyoung’s home in Jeju was a beautiful, large house: it shimmered in the cool afternoon sun, what little of it there was, tall and almost statuesque. It seemed a little pristine. Soonyoung stepped up to the door, breathing hard suddenly, a small card in his hand.

“It’s surprisingly harder than I thought,” he whispered.

“Just go,” Seokmin encouraged. “Go see your brother.”

The magic word forced his card through the lock on the front door and it opened into a small hallway they stepped into: Soonyoung hurried to take off his trainers and winter coat, tripping into the house.

A figure appeared in the hallway: tall, dark-haired, with a blank look on his face. In one hand he held a white cane. “Who’s there?” he hissed, knees automatically bending slightly. Unseeing, blind eyes darted in his head. Obviously not a stranger to martial arts himself.

Soonyoung’s face broke out into a smile so broad it was dazzling. “Hi, dad.”

The figure frowned, cocking his head. “… _Soonyoung_?”

“Hey,” the boy giggled.

The figure straightened and even though his eyes saw nothing, his facial expression changed to a mixture of fear and disbelief. “ _Jiiiiihooooon_.” He leaned backwards a little, calling out in full trepidation. “ _Weird_ things are happening! Get out here! Quickly!”

There was a metallic banging from the other end of the hallway, followed by a loud cuss and muttering. “What could possibly be the matter, you dirt-water-drinker.” A much smaller figure came into view, opening a door: a brunette man approximately the size of a large dog, clad in a white apron. “What’s all the – _Soonyoung!”_

Soonyoung’s grin grew impossibly wider. “Hey, Jihoon.”

“Soonyoung _ieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee_!” The small man flung himself at the boy, throwing himself into a warm hug. “What are you doing here?! Soonyoung? How can you be here?”

“I got extra vacation from uni,” the boy laughed.

“You should have called!”

“I wanted to surprise you!”

“Cheollie, Soonyoung’s ba- _ack_!”

The large figure had thrown himself at the group, squeezing both men in a thick hug and taking the breath from both of them. “It really _is_ you. I thought I was hearing things.”

It took a few moments for Soonyoung to wriggle himself out of the family cuddle, laughing happily. “Dad, Jihoon, I’d like you to meet Seokmin, my boyfriend.”

It was at that precise moment Soonyoung realized that _not_ telling his parents about the significantly older boyfriend who was coming along with him might not have been the best idea.


	22. Chapter 22

There was a tense moment in which the two men realized there was another person behind their adoptive son, and in which Seokmin realized that if Soonyoung kept the visit a surprise from his family, he’d be the cherry on top himself.

“ _Oooooooh, boyfriend_ ,” the blind one broke the silence, cooing in an annoying, tweeny brat voice. “You hear that, Hoonie?”

Jihoon ignored his significant other, stretching out a hand. “Seokmin,” he said hesitantly.

He took it warmly. “You must be Jihoon. Soonyoung’s told me a lot about you.”

“And forgotten me, of course.”

“Mr. Choi Seungcheol, sir. Of course.” Seokmin shook his hand, too. “Soonyoung talks about you both often. I think he once referred to you as the Scary Blind Man and the Terrifying Miniature-”

“ _Aaaaaand_ that’s enough introductions for now,” Soonyoung crowed loudly, sending his boyfriend a warning glare. All he received was a knowing smile. “Where’s Sam?”

“Mr. Samuel felt he was too good to hang out with us old guys, so he took the dogs out for a walk.” Jihoon’s little nose seemed to perk a little higher in the air. “Do you want me to call him back home?”

“No! No, no, let him come home to find me.” Soonyoung rubbed his hands together, almost diabolically.

“That’s unfair,” Seungcheol mumbled, moving backwards into the kitchen. “He’s missed you.”

“He can miss me for a little while more.” Soonyoung’s fingers twined with his boyfriend’s as he pulled him along. “Uncle Jisoo?”

“Holiday in Japan.” Jihoon suddenly put his little arms around his cousin again. “We really missed you. Stop growing for fuck’s sake.”

“You’re still _growing_?”

“No, Jihoon’s just shrinking.” Soonyoung only had a short few moments to grin at his quizzical boyfriend before stooping at the punch in the shoulder he got. “Uh, anyway.”

“Do you want to take your bags upstairs? Or-… well, I have a confession.”

Soonyoung frozed.

“Your uncle moved into your old room and we moved your things into his house, instead.”

“My room?”

The tiny man folded his arms. “Well there was no point in having both your Uncle _and_ me to each be cleaning an entire house when we could each be cleaning half of _this_ house.”

Soonyoung thought about it. “That’s fair.”

“If you like, you two can arrange sleeping quarters in your Uncle’s house and just spend your time here.” Jihoon hobbled away after his husband. “That way you don’t have to scar your kid brother with any… _undue_ noises past midnight.”

Soonyoung went a strong berry shade of red, all the way to the tips of his ears at that.

Seokmin simply leaned in to kiss one of the bright pink appendages. “It’s okay,” he hummed.

“Well uh, we’ll just put our bags in the other house then and we’ll be back.” Soonyoung opened a cupboard next to the door, selecting another card. “Come on then.”

The mafia boss simply followed his lover with a simple, happy smile on his face, being led from one house to the one next door – absolutely identical, even in interior. Soonyoung led him up some stairs and to the far left of the house, eventually dumping his bag in what was obviously the master bedroom. “Guess we’ll be bunking here.”

“In the room farthest from your parents’ house,” Seokmin smirked roguishly, closing in on his partner. “I wonder why…”

Soonyoung’s fading pink came back strong. “I-it’s not like that, it’s just the biggest bedroom-”

“Mhm.” Seokmin wrapped his arms around the architect, lips trailing softly along his jaw. “I’m sure.”

“I-it is, I like a stre-…”

Seokmin’s lips had found an earlobe, making short work of the boy’s resolve. “You like?”

“A stretch,” he whispered.

Seokmin broke focus, laughing. “Double entendre,” he chuckled, leaning in to peck his lover quickly. “We don’t have time to get horny or your family will think I’m weird.”

“You _are_ weird,” the boy sulked back, allowing himself to be dragged away.

 

“I can’t believe you’re home.” His hand moved confidently to where he could grasp Soonyoung’s arm. “You’re all skinny. Why is everybody in your family so fucking skinny, Jihoon? Can’t you eat more? Do we need to get you some chocopies or something? Samuel keeps stuffing the fridge with them.”

“I’m a healthy boy,” Soonyoung sulked. “I remember a time when I wasn’t here, I’m starting to miss that.”

Seungcheol’s face warmed into a happy smile, hand reaching out to muss his son’s hair. “Yeah, that’s my boy. I love you too.”

“I’ve already given Soonyoung adequate grief over his eating habits.” Seokmin poked his boyfriend in the gut – gently. “He won’t listen. It’s _hurr durr veggies this_ and _hurr durr saturated fats that_.”

Seungcheol shook his head with a whopping grin on it, mocking hurt. “I must have spoiled you too much.”

“I also remember a time when I was _single_ ,” Soonyoung glared.

“Don’t be mean, babe.”

“Me? Mean? Perish the thought.”

“Don’t mind Soonyoung, he’s a natural asshole.” Jihoon flounced from the kitchen to the attached dining room, taking his apron off slowly and hitting the wooden chair with a bump. “It runs in the family.”

“Samuel’s an angel,” he pointed out.

“Samuel’s seventeen, _angelicness_ hasn’t been an available emotion for a while.” Jihoon scowled, staring at the two men on the couch. “I can’t believe you’re here. Did Mingyu come too?”

“Yeah he’s at his mom’s, annoying his own family while I annoy mine.” Soonyoung sniffed. “What are you burning?”

“The oven’s off,” Jihoon scowled. “Your father wanted chocolate-coffee chiffon cake. I didn’t burn it.”

“Your cousin’s actually gotten quite good at cooking.”

“Oh sure, I leave and _then_ his cooking becomes bearable. That’s nice.”

Seokmin nudged him. “Soonyoung, this is your first time back home, be nice to your family.”

“I like him,” Seungcheol grinned. “You picked a good boyfriend, Soonyoung.”

Jihoon stood again as the kettle began to whistle. “The boyfriend’s about your age,” he muttered strongly in his ear.

Seungcheol frowned. “Really?”

Soonyoung scowled, counting on his fingers. “Dad, you’re thirty-eight, right?”

“That’s right.”

Soonyoung and Seokmin shared a tight look.

“Seokmin, how old are you?”

Seokmin cleared his throat. “Thirty-nine, sir.”

Jihoon dropped the kettle, a few gallons of sputtering, boiling hot water spilling all over the kitchen floor.

 _“KWON SOONYOUNG._ ”

 

The dinner table was _stony_ at best: filled with a cold silence as everybody pushed their food around on their plates awkwardly, unwilling to _really_ eat.

Soonyoung could only send his boyfriend guilty looks that were meant to portray _sorry I got you into this, I didn’t think it would be such a big problem, I didn’t think it through and I’m an idiot_ , but in reality just looked like a whiny puppy-dog’s eyes.

The front door opened with a bang, instant barking filling the whole house with deep bass tones. A very bored _I’m home_ chimed after them and soon two large dogs were bounding through the house, charging towards Soonyoung and into his lap.

The boy turned with glee, petting them both. “Hello Charlie, hello Adele,” he cooed in whispers.

“What are those dogs so happy about?” a whiny, teenager voice groaned, coming through the door. “Did they get possessed or some-thi… _ing_ …”

Samuel had changed, but only a little: he was taller now, and slimmer, but he was growing into a man’s build; and he’d dyed his hair beach blond, but other than that… he was still Soonyoung’s little brother.

He stood, swiping away the dogs’ attempts to jump on him. “Hey,” he smiled softly.

“ _Hyung!_ ” And then Samuel had his arms around him, bouldering into him like a force of nature. “Hyung, hyung, hyung, hyung, hyung, hyung-”

“Hey there.” Soonyoung had to wipe away a loose tear very quickly as he held onto his brother. “It’s okay.”

“Are you real or am I high?”

“I’m real.”

Samuel’s fingers grappled with his brother’s jacket over and over as he dug his face further into his chest. “I didn’t know you were coming!”

“I kept it as a surprise.”

“Bastard,” he mumbled happily. “I missed you so much – down, Charlie, down!”

“Charlie missed me too, you know.” Regardless, Soonyoung wasn’t letting his brother go – only when the boy struggled could he bear to loosen his grip. “Didn’t you, baby girl? Hm? Who’s a big puppy? Who’s the biggest puppy? That’s right, it’s you.”

“I can’t believe you’re home.” Samuel’s eyes were lit with twinkling stars. “When did you get here?”

“Just this afternoon. You’ve been gone a while.”

“How long are you staying? Are you staying forever?”

He chuckled. “Sorry, kid. Just a week.”

“A week’s plenty.” Samuel fell on his brother for another hug – a quick one, this time. “I’ve missed you.”

“You too, kid.” His chest felt very heavy for a moment. “You too. Uh hey, this is Seokmin. He’s uh-…”

Samuel surveyed the smiling man in the next seat for a moment, before deadpanning: “He’s too old for you, hyung.”

Jihoon and Seungcheol broke into laughter, clinking their glasses together: Seokmin’s well-meaning smile disappeared like snow in summer, and Soonyoung scowled.

“But I love him.”

The giggling died down very quickly.

“Yeah, that’s right. I love him.” Soonyoung gave his parental figures a glare from the corner of his eye. “So you can sit there and chuckle to yourselves like a couple of immature cunts for all the world as you please, but it’s not going to change dick. And honestly, as a pair of messed-up assholes – where one of you is an ex-BDSM prostitute and the other strung him on for months as a spoiled and bratty businessman who thought he owned the world and everyone inside it – I have a hard time believing either of you have the right to judge me!” Soonyoung threw his napkin on his plate and gripped his boyfriend’s wrist, tugging him along. “Come on, Seokmin.”

“Soonie, wait- I- we-”

“Just let’s get out of here. We’re obviously not wanted.” A furious Soonyoung stormed out of the house, dragging his boyfriend behind, giving Seokmin only just enough time to pull his coat off the rack before he was taken away.

The architect fumed past the houses and onto the pathway towards the inner island, furious and marching.

“Soonie. Soonie.” Seokmin caught up after a moment of bewilderment, jogging up until he could stop him. He clasped his hands around Soonyoung’s shoulders, forcing him to a halt. “What are you- babe?”

Hot tears gushed from Soonyoung’s bloodshot eyes, dripping down his face as he glared angrily out into the darkness.

“Hey, hey.” Seokmin put his arms around him, pulling the boy in tight. “Baby, shhhhh. Shhh it’s okay. It’s okay. Shhhhhh.”

“It’s not okay,” he sniffled, slowly hugging his boyfriend back. “It’s not at all. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought you here. I didn’t think they’d react like this. I didn’t think they’d be mean about it. I hate them.”

“Shhhhh, no you don’t. It’s okay, pretty baby, it’s okay.” Seokmin’s warm, large hand smoothed over Soonyoung’s hair. “Take deep breaths. It’s going to be okay.”

“I’m sorry.” Soonyoung buried his face in his lover’s shoulder. “I didn’t mean to subject you to all that.”

Seokmin scoffed. “I can’t believe you’re worried about _me_. I’m not hurt. I’m worried about you. What this will do to your relationship with them…”

“M-m.” He shook his head, putting his arms around Seokmin’s neck lovingly. “I don’t care about that. It made you uncomfortable and that’s not right.”

Seokmin shook his head gently, but then began to smile. “Honestly… I feel very warm, and very blessed.” He beamed down when Soonyoung looked up. “My boyfriend stood up like that, got angry like that, defended me like that… all because he loves me. It made my heart beat fast to see you stand up for me like that. Thank you, Soonyoungie. You gave me a wonderful gift, you know.”

Soonyoung wasn’t satisfied. “I can’t believe they were like that though… it makes me sad.”

Seokmin sighed back, simply cradling the man in his arms. “Yeah. I get that. Maybe… maybe they’re right, in part. I _am_ a lot older than you. I was drinking alcohol while you were still in diapers.”

Soonyoung sniffed loudly, counting in whispers for a moment. “You weren’t legal.”

“…I was the son of the head of the _mafia_.”

“Point.”

Seokmin put his jacket around his boyfriend’s shoulders gently.

“But they’re not right. I don’t care if you’re too old for me. That doesn’t matter anymore. Besides, it’s not like they don’t have an age gap. Nine years.”

“Nine years is hardly the seventeen years that’s between us,” he reasoned, voice low. “They’re just trying to protect their Soonyoung. I get that. I want to protect him, too. He’s very precious to me, just as he’s precious to them. Soonyoung’s my favourite. I wish I could hold him like this, always.” Seokmin’s breath was turning into small clouds in the cold night, puffing into nothing over his lover’s head. “Because I love him, very much. I guess from that point of view, I understand them very well. I’ve thought about letting you go lots, too. Because I’m too old for you.”

Soonyoung’s hands on his back became tighter. “Don’t let me go.”

“I won’t.” Seokmin smiled. “As long as you want me here, I’ll be here. And when you get sick of me, I’ll leave.”

“Don’t leave.” He clung even tighter. “I won’t get sick of you.”

“That’s good to hear.”

It took him a moment. “I’m sorry my family are jerks.”

He shook his head. “That’s alright. We’re all jerks, one way or another.”

“We are?”

“M-hm. I’m a jerk for kidnapping your youth. You’re a jerk for holding my heart hostage.”

“It’s mine.” Soonyoung managed to put on a brave, albeit timid smile. “Your heart is mine and you can’t have it back. If I give it back you might give it to somebody else. You can’t have it. It’s mine.”

Seokmin beamed again, pressing a warm kiss to his boyfriend’s forehead. “That’s right. All yours. Keep it safe for me, alright?”

“The safest.”

“Do you want to go back? You didn’t finish your food.”

Soonyoung shook his head, scowling for a while before brightening. “That’s okay. I have somewhere I’d like to take you.”

“Are you warm enough?” Seokmin gave him an anxious look as he was taken by the hand again. “You should have brought a coat.”

“I have yours – wait, aren’t _you_ cold?”

“It’s not so bad.”

“Do we need to go back and I’ll get mine?”

Seokmin laughed, kissing him. “Considering the lines in your forehead, no. I’ll be fine, so don’t worry.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. Take me to see Jeju island, babe.”

 

“Not gonna lie,” Seokmin muttered around a whole mouthful of spicy rice cakes. “This is good.”

“Right?” Soonyoung smiled happily, finishing what was in his little plastic bowl. “I really like it.”

“I’d eat this every day,” he admitted, stuffing his face with more food. “Does Seoul not have this?”

“Not this way, it doesn’t.” Soonyoung handed some money to the lady at the stall and waited for his boyfriend to finish eating. “All done?”

“Can I get like, twenty more-”

“No, there’s more.” Soonyoung led his boyfriend around the various market stalls that were set out in Jeju’s marketplace, glittering bright colours in the dark of the night. They bought a disturbingly large bag of honey-roasted sweet potatoes and assorted nuts, but before Seokmin could get his mittens on them he was being led away from the market.

“I come here when I want to be alone,” Soonyoung explained, guiding him. “Or when I need to think, or… you get it.”

At the edge of where the sands of the beach met the rocky cliffs cliffs, there was a large, black boulder: a somewhat tight squeeze past it revealed the entrance to a cave that gently sloped upwards into the cliff wall itself until they came to a small alcove, looking out to the black sea. Soonyoung sat down gently on the rock, letting his legs hang over the edge. “It’s nice at sundown. Too bad we missed it.”

“It’s January, the days are too short.” Seokmin joined him, sitting close. “It’s nice here. We’re sheltered from the wind. Does the tide not come up this far?”

He shook his head, opening up the bag. “Only when it’s stormy it might lash up.”

“Amazing.” Seokmin took a piece of hot potato gingerly. “Thanks for bringing me here. It’s kind of nice.”

“It’s my secret place.”

Seokmin looked around the alcove a few times. “We could fuck here, and nobody would know.” He got a push for that. “What? I’m not saying we _should_ , just that it’s possible.”

“Too dirty, and briny. I don’t want my asshole to smell of seaweed and moss  for a week.” Soonyoung popped a piece of potato into his mouth, crunching on it thoughtfully. “Is this better than sitting at a table with my family all being assholes?”

“…yeah, a little. I’m worried though. What if they don’t… what if you… and they…”

“They’ll come around. They have to. What are they going to do? Cut my tuition off? You’ve already bribed the university to keep me on. Stop my allowance? My boyfriend’s hell-bent on spending money on me. Ground me? I have class. Ban me from the house? _Boo-hoo_. Like I want to stick around if they’re going to be mean about you.” He looked up suddenly. “If they cut me off, would you take care of me?”

“I’d only treat you like the Prince you are,” he smiled back, eyes twinkling. “I’d take such good care of you. I already try to, but _somebody_ is being fussy.”

“Thought I was a prince?”

“You are.” Seokmin ate another piece of potato. “A fussy prince.”

“Well, you love me anyway.”

“Very true.”

 

“Should we head back? It’s late, you had an exciting day, a long trip… time you were curled up in bed.”

Soonyoung sighed. “Yeah, I guess.”

Seokmin helped his boyfriend to his feet and they began the slow walk back to the house. “Maybe we should sleep in separate rooms,” he mused, a smile playing on his features. “To make your family more at home.”

“My family will deal with whatever I find suitable to offer them and if you think for even one moment I’m sleeping without my favourite personal water bottle, you sir, are mistaken.”

Seokmin simply smiled happily on his way back to the house. Even though it was freezing out and pitch-black, following Soonyoung was like following sunlight.

 _I hope this never ends_ , he thought as Soonyoung squeezed his hand warmly. _I hope I never have to part with him._


	23. Chapter 23

 

 _[Samuel]_ : Hyung, are you very mad? I’m really sorry. It was just the first thing that came out since I was surprised.

 _[Soonyoung]_ : I’m not angry with you, kid. It’s TweedleDumb and TweedleDoofus that bother me.

 _[Samuel]_ : Are you sure? I want to meet your boyfriend. He has to be good enough for my brother.

 _[Soonyoung]_ : Tomorrow, alright? I’m exhausted. Long trip.”

 _[Samuel]:_ You’re sure you’re not angry with me?

 _[Soonyoung]_ : I’m super duper not mad with you. I promise. It’s the other two that piss me off. You didn’t know. Sorry for storming out on you, baby bro.<3

 _[Samuel]_ : Ew, so sappy. Good night!

 _[Soonyoung]_ : Night, kid.

 

Lee Seokmin looked strange asleep. Not bad – not really. But it was different. When he slept he lay in another world: one where he was neither the happy, beaming young man who confessed his love to Soonyoung, nor the stony-faced mafia leader. He lay in a world where the weight of the world lay on the stiffness of his shoulders, but his expression was clear of stress and emotion.

It was one more side of him, and it gave Soonyoung ample time to survey him in all his prettiness.

Seokmin _was_ very pretty, he had to admit. He had a chiselled face, cool and smooth, and clear like water. A fine nose – straight and sharp, that Soonyoung’s fingers had to gently slide over from base to tip. He had long, thick eyelashes that sat under dark, handsome eyebrows. Lips on the thin side, granted, but they were sharp and delicately shaped. His fingers slid over them next, _very_ lightly, tracing the shape as he moved to lie on his side, head supported by his free hand.

His fingers moved to Seokmin’s chin – a perfect size, not too thin or too sharp itself. The five o’ clock shadow there was kind of pretty too, in a rugged kind of way.

Seokmin had an uncommonly long neck: it was something his boyfriend had noticed some time ago, but it was now that he was given the chance to _really_ see it. Not unlike a swan’s, pretty, long and straight – thick and well-structured, with his Adam’s apple protruding strongly.

His clavicles were a strange thing to notice, but then, they were so _perfect_ – they only jutted out from his skin a little, just enough to be regal. They led to strong, broad shoulders – broad for his build, at least.

Soonyoung’s fingers traced over a lean but muscular arm – well-defined arms, he was blessed with, and they made the architect wonder what Seokmin had done that required him to have such strong arms. He had thin hair on his lower arms, slightly darker than his golden skin, and beautiful, large hands that were uncommonly soft.

Back to the clavicle, then: it led into a defined chest that bore a small patch of dark, curly hair in the middle. Soonyoung’s curious fingertips glided over the rough patch as the first beams of sunlight began to scurry from the window over the bedsheets: down past the barely-there abs that Seokmin pretended not to have, to slide over the dark hair leading further and further down.

Soonyoung had gotten used to the fact, over the last week or so, that his boyfriend slept in the nude: it seemed to him to be awfully uncomfortable, but if that’s what the man wanted, then he wouldn’t be the one to stop him. When he eventually uncovered Seokmin’s thighs, he found that even in his sleep, the man was ready to have at it.

 _Well_ , thought Soonyoung, glancing up at his lover’s face, _wouldn’t that be a waste?_

It took him a moment to position himself properly, gently moving his boyfriend’s legs in an attempt not to rouse him, and then he was licking, tiny kitten licks from Seokmin’s base all the way to the tip of his erect cock, where his lips stretched to engulf him.

It didn’t take long before Seokmin’s breathing became moaning, and fingers tangled in Soonyoung’s hair. “Gooooood, _fuck_.” Seokmin’s sleepy voice was hot, but it was so much hotter in a drawn-out moan. “Soonyoung, shit…”

Soonyoung looked up from under a dark brow, hollowing his cheeks out as he dragged up slowly, and let go of his lover with a soft _pop_ sound. “Yes, babe?”

Seokmin’s thick fingers rubbed over his face for a moment in an attempt to waken himself up properly. “What are you doing this-”

Soonyoung’s kisses dabbed over his lover’s happy trail, over his stomach, over his abs. “I happened to notice was a great body you have, and I took advantage of the, eh… _tickets to the show_ I was offered,” he mumbled in between pecks.

He got all the way to the dip between Seokmin’s clavicles when the man raked in a loud gasp. “Not the neck,” he warned quickly.

Soonyoung moved to sit up on Seokmin’s lap in order to look down at him quizzically. “Not the neck?”

Seokmin simply shook his head a moment, unable to take his eyes off his mostly naked boyfriend.

“Sensitive?”

Seokmin didn’t answer that, so Soonyoung simply traced his fingertips back over his Adam’s apple.

The man’s jaw dropped and he inhaled, loudly – muscles relaxing, lids falling slightly, pupils blowing out wide. “ _Soonyoung._ ”

Soonyoung cocked his head, gently moving his hand so his fingers curled around the expanse of Seokmin’s throat, taking a hold of it.

Seokmin’s lids dropped entirely, bottom lip trembling. “Shit. Fuck. Why.”

“…I didn’t know.” Soonyoung watched his boyfriend very carefully, experimenting with the placement of his fingers. “You know all about _my_ kinks… why can’t I know about yours? I didn’t expect it to be so… _submissive_.”

Seokmin’s eyes flashed a dangerous look. “It’s not,” he growled. “I just like a firm grip. No more, no less.”

Soonyoung froze a moment, gingerly taking his fingers off his boyfriend’s neck. “Sorry. I overstepped my boundaries.”

Seokmin sighed a moment freely before twitching at the sight of his boyfriend. “Hey.” Two hands moved up to cradle Soonyoung’s face, pulling him down for a sweet, warm kiss. “I love you,” he whispered between kisses. “Don’t be put-out with me.”

“I’m not,” he admitted. “Just upset.”

He pulled away slightly, still cradling his face. “Talk to me,” he purred, voice still thick.

“I’m not allowed to play with your kinks.” Soonyoung scowled. “That’s not fair. I want to make you feel good, too.”

“You already do, babe.”

Soonyoung pursed his lips and sighed. “Never mind.”

“Hey.” Seokmin followed the boy as he rolled off him, catching him by the waist. He relented a little first and then gently pressed Soonyoung’s hand to his neck again. “You can, if you want.”

Soonyoung gingerly stroked his neck. “…then?”

“…I enjoy a good choke now and then, sometimes it’s the only thing that I can get off to when I’m by myself. I don’t tell other people because it’s… like you said. _Submissive_.”

Soonyoung pouted. “There’s nothing wrong with being submissive.”

“If I open that can of worms, then there’s no going back.” Seokmin played with the fingers he was still holding to his throat. “I know you were more of a dominant man before we… I’ve never been on that side of it all. What if I don’t like it? Worse… what if I _do_? What if _you_ don’t like it? What if you like it, and I don’t? What if… what if I lose respect in your eyes?”

Soonyoung blinked a few times. “It’s sex, Seokmin, you’re not going to lose respect. Besides, if you were going to lose my respect, you’re going to do it with your stupid mouth, not your pretty cock.”

Seokmin smiled in a brittle kind of way.

“Anyway, if you’re not comfortable submitting, that’s fine. But I’d still like to play with… this.” Soonyoung flexed his fingers gently. “If I can give you an ultimate experience, I want to… it’ll be fun, being a power bottom.”

Seokmin’s eyes cleared, as if he hadn’t thought about it before. “Power bottom. Hmm…”

“We’ll have to discuss a safeword for you, though. You said long ago you wouldn’t need one, but that doesn’t suit.”

“I’ll be fine,” he dodged.

“No.” Soonyoung pecked him on the lips decisively. “I’m literally _choking_ you, we’re having a safeword. And a safe-action. Just in case I squeeze the sound out of you. I’m not taking chances with your life. You could get brain damage.”

Seokmin smiled lazily. “You really care for me, don’t you, gorgeous?” His fingers trailed through Soonyoung’s hair softly. “Thank you, Soonie.”

“My pleasure. Now. Safeword.”

“…really? Right now?”

“I’m horny and I want to fuck.”

Seokmin chuckled but then stared past his lover’s ear, gazing into space for a moment. “Well, a safe action should be three taps. As for a safeword… How about just _giraffe_?”

“That’s mine already. Pick another.”

“Right. Uhm… Hippo?”

“Too ambiguous in its pronunciation. Try again.”

“Lion.”

“You _realize_ it doesn’t have to be a safari animal, right?”

“Panda bear, then.”

“Are you serious? You want to bring pandas into the whole sex thing?”

“…they are a _bit_ too cute and innocent,” he mumbled, frowning to think. “How’s e _ucalyptus_?”

“Too long. You might not get it all out in time. Try to stick to two syllables or less.”

Seokmin surveyed his boyfriend a moment. “Lily.”

“Lily is acceptable.” Soonyoung beamed a moment, leaning in to kiss him warmly. “And now we shall proceed to fuck like it’s our job.”

Seokmin’s mouth curled into a bright smile. “Sounds good to me.”

Soonyoung moved onto his lap again, leaning in for a warm kiss that soon turned even warmer: Seokmin’s hands rested on the fullness of his boyfriend’s ass, gently gripping him there as he was kissed.

“I love you,” Soonyoung whispered in his ear, moving to take the lobe between his lips. “I’m going to make you feel so good…”

Seokmin’s face buried itself in his lover’s neck, a slow tongue darting to savage his neck. “Yeah?” he breathed. “What are you going to do?”

Soonyoung let out a long, breathy moan as if on cue, gently bearing his hips down against his boyfriend. “I’m going to make Daddy moan,” he mewled softly. “I’m going to fuck myself silly on your cock, I’m going to moan and curse like a delicious little _slut_.” Soonyoung’s tongue created patterns on Seokmin’s neck that made him shiver. “I’m going to call your name and _beg_ you to take me.”

A swift, flat palm hit Soonyoung’s cheek with a light smacking sound, making him inhale very suddenly.

“Bad boy,” Seokmin whispered back. “That’s naughty, dirty talk. A good, pretty boy like you wouldn’t talk so dirty, would he?”

“Oh but _Daddy_ ,” Soonyoung moaned in his ear. “I want it so _much_ , Daddy, all that cock up my tight ass, or between my lips and down my throat, I want it so bad, _Daddyyyyy_ …”

One of Seokmin’s hands moved to pull Seokmin’s briefs from half his ass before rewarding him with another clap to it: this one more staccato, with more sting to it that made the architect mewl with delight.

“That’s naughty,” was all he was offered. “So naughty.”

Soonyoung’s hips ground harder for a moment before he sat up, fingers trailing over Seokmin’s skin as he rutted on top of him for a moment, shrugging his shoulders back so he was on display for a few moments, staring straight at his boyfriend. “Ah, fuck.” He threw his head back for a moment before sending him a coy smile. “I _really_ want it.”

“Soonyoung.”

“Seokmin, _please_.” Soonyoung dropped his jaw a little, giving him a ravished look as he continued to rit. “Please, Daddy. I need it so bad. I need to be fucked. I need to scream.”

Seokmin moved, slightly: he sat up against the pillows and headboard, motioning for Soonyoung to come forward. With a simple motion of one fist he ripped Soonyoung’s cotton briefs right off his body, releasing a hard cock from its boundary.

“No, no. Stand on your knees.” Seokmin directed Soonyoung’s arms around his neck and took his cock in one hand, gently working his fingers up and down the shaft. “Dirty boy.”

Soonyoung’s eyes closed, letting out a soft mewl of pleasure. “Yes...?”

“You’re filthy.” Seokmin watched his hand for a few moments before looking back up to his lover. “That means I’ll have to punish you.”

“Yes, Daddy,” he breathed, head tilted back. “Punish me like the bad boy I am.”

“I’m going to spank you, baby.”

“ _Yes_.” Soonyoung’s voice was barely a gasp, but it was needy and restless in its need. “Spank me, fuck, spank me _good_.”

The slapping sound of Seokmin’s broad hand against Soonyoung’s cheek was almost just as riveting as the ensuing burn and it made him moan out, jerking a little into the man’s hand: Seokmin watched, enthralled, as he was able to make his boyfriend writhe and moan so easily. Another smack followed quickly and Soonyoung was mewling out uncontrollably, jerking his hips into Seokmin’s hand with vigor.

“ _Look_ at you,” Seokmin whispered, almost to himself. “What are you doing to me…”

Soonyoung let out a wild moan, continuing to thrust into his lover’s hand. “P-please, shit, how long have we _not_ done this, please, Seokmin…”

Seokmin simply spanked him again, causing him to jitter as if he’d been electrocuted: he watched happily as the man above him could only beg for more in hushed whispers, jutting his hips irregularly.

“Alright baby.” Seokmin leaned in to take a gentle bite of Soonyoung’s earlobe, voice husky and low. “You want to be fucked? You want cock inside of you?”

“ _M-hm_ ,” was all the pathetic mewl could muster.

“Then you’re going to fuck yourself on Daddy’s cock like a good slutboy. You’ll be Daddy’s good little cumboy, won’t you? You’ll shift on my cock properly, taking it all in, inch by inch?”

“ _Yes, Daddy, ng-”_

“What a good boy.” Seokmin spanked him, pressing their chests together so he couldn’t thrust: he spanked again, letting Soonyoung moan and whine over his shoulder, over and over until his palm began to sting a little. “What a good, naughty Soonyoungie. Condom?”

Soonyoung moaned once. “No, please- now.”

“Condom first.”

Soonyoung begrudgingly leaned over the bed to retrieve a condom from the nightstand, and slid it into his partner quickly: then, with uncanny precision, began to lower himself onto Seokmin’s cock, holding it carefully at the base.

“Aw, fuck.” Seokmin gripped his lover’s cock, jacking it off gently. “How are you _this_ tight?”

“Specially for you,” Soonyoung gasped cheekily, finally sliding down to the hilt. “Ah _fuck_ , that hurts.”

Seokmin leaned forward, pulling Soonyoung in gently. “Good boy,” he whispered gently, kissing him down the neck. “That’s my good boy.”

“Ah, fuck.” Soonyoung almost teared up, arms around Seokmin’s shoulders. “Do you love me?”

Seokmin’s smile didn’t slow his lips down. “I do.”

Soonyoung’s hands first cupped the back of his lover’s neck, almost like a massage, but then slowly moved forward, gently taking a hold of his throat, stilling his motions and making him sit back, pupils blown wide.

Soonyoung’s hips gently swung to and fro, getting a gentle feel for it before he moved a little harder, his fingers clasping around Seokmin’s throat a little tighter. It made them both gasp, but Soonyoung didn’t stop, and Seokmin wouldn’t have allowed him to anyway.

Soon enough, Soonyoung was almost cramping, moving the way he was, rutting every way possible to get the friction he longed for: Seokmin simply rutted back, gasping for air a little until he suddenly came inside Soonyoung’s body.

Soonyoung gently squeezed a little tighter against his boyfriend’s throat until he was done, slouching against the bedframe a moment as Soonyoung gently slipped off him. “Are you alright?”

Seokmin smiled dopily for a moment before reaching a hand down. “Now you.”

“That’s okay. Get your strength back a moment.” Soonyoung gently brushed his hand away, sliding down to lie beside him and play with his hair. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

Seokmin nodded a moment, still breathing heavily. “Shit. Good.”

They lay there for a few minutes as Seokmin got his breath back, in peaceful morning quiet.

“I love you too,” Soonyoung smiled at length, staring at his boyfriend.

Seokmin glanced up, matching his position with one arm under his head. “I’m glad,” he whispered softly. “…can I finish up for you now?”

“No need. It’s gone.”

Seokmin scowled, glancing down to confirm – and Soonyoung wasn’t lying, his hard-on completely disappeared. He frowned deeper, unspoken thoughts weighing heavily on his brow.

“It’s okay,” he reassured. “I’m always finishing first, anyway. It’s your turn.”

Seokmin’s scowl didn’t lift as he pulled Soonyoung in. “Sorry. I should have finished you.”

“If you say it like that, sounds like the big scary mafia boss is going to have me killed,” Soonyoung grinned back.

Seokmin pulled him until they were hugging, the younger gripped up in a vice-like hold. “I wouldn’t hurt a hair on your head, Kwon Soonyoung.”

Soonyoung smiled. “I know.”

“Don’t say scary things like that.”

“I was only teasing.”

“I know, but I don’t want to hear it. Do you… know how hard this is for me? To see your body and try and find pleasure in it when you’re scarred and bruised all over? I don’t want to see it anymore, Soonie… I don’t even want to think about it.”

They were both quiet a little longer as Soonyoung’s chest slowly began to feel like it was shrinking, shirking away from the edges until it seemed too small to even hold his heart. The pressure was crushing him as he thought about those words. “Okay,” he whispered softly. “…I’m going to take a shower.”

“…okay?”

Soonyoung slid away as quickly as possible after that, picking out clothes from his bag on the way to the bathroom: once he’d locked the door he hacked out a hard breath, trying to cough his heart back to regular pumps.

If Seokmin didn’t want to see his body anymore…

 _Maybe Jeonghan was right, maybe I’m too fat-_ he had to shake the thought away immediately. Even if he _was_ too fat for Seokmin’s taste, he couldn’t let the idea of Jeonghan being right about anything invade his mind.

 _Now I regret those rice cakes last night_ , he thought errantly, stepping into the shower and hitting the water. _From today on I’ll go on a diet. Maybe hit the gym a few times a week, too. My reflexes are stiff. I need to work out more. I wonder if Seokmin likes the really thick muscles or more lean ones?_

Seokmin eventually knocked on the door. “You okay? You’ve been in there for almost an hour.”

“Shit, sorry. Got carried away with my thoughts. Hold on.” Soonyoung wiped hot fallen tears off his cheekbones and hurried to dry off and get dressed, stepping out of the shower quickly. “Your turn.”

“Hey.” Seokmin gripped his arm on his way out. “Your eyes are red.”

“Yeah, I got shampoo in them,” he lied smoothly. “It’ll die down in a little bit.”

“Be more careful.” Seokmin turned him to kiss him full-on, putting his arms around the boy for a little while. “Or else I’ll force you to take showers together so I can wash your hair _for_ you.”

Soonyoung smiled a little. At least he was still getting kisses. “I’ll be careful.”

Seokmin kissed him again, softly, before heading into the shower. “Good.”

 

“You’re sure you don’t want any?”

Soonyoung shook his head quickly, taking another swig of water. “I’m not hungry.”

“You need to eat though,” Seokmin muttered, cutting off a corner of the honeyed toast. “Just a mouthful.”

“No thanks.”

“Soonyoung.”

“I’m fine, don’t worry. I’m just tired is all.”

“Don’t get sick,” he warned.

“I won’t.” Soonyoung stared out the window. “Jihoon texted me this morning.”

“Oh?”

“Said he was sorry and would like to apologize in person.”

“Really? That’s great, Soonyoung, really great.” Seokmin grinned toothily at him. “I’m glad. I don’t want to be something that divides you and your family.”

Soonyoung’s fingers fumbled with his phone. “I’m worried he might be nasty to you again. You didn’t deserve that.”

“It’ll be fine. I get it. I’m turning forty next year. It’s understandable.” Even Seokmin colored to hear the number spoken like that. “I’m taking away their precious Soonyoungie.”

“It’s not like you’re _actually_ taking me away though,” Soonyoung pouted. “Anyway. Do you want to meet them?”

“Yes, yes! After breakfast though. Are you sure you’re not hungry?”

“Just eat,” Soonyoung grinned. He turned to stare out the window again, holding his scarf over his stomach in case it growled loudly enough for Seokmin to hear.


	24. Chapter 24

“Soonyoung was right. It wasn’t fair of us to judge you on your age alone.”

“That’s perfectly alright. I do understand the reservations you may have about our relationship. I hope I can prove how much I love Soonyoung with time. Please accept my apologies for not insisting Soonyoung warn you first.”

Jihoon waved a hand. “Water under the bridge, right Cheol?” There was a moment of silence before the little one stuck his elbow between his husband’s ribs. “ _Right, Cheol?_ ”

“Right,” Cheol wheezed.

“We really do appreciate you bringing our Soonie home for New Year’s. It’s been a while since we all celebrated together and it’s nice he can spend it with all the people he loves.”

“Kiss-ass,” Soonyoung murmured, wrestling with the XboX controller in his hand. “Hey, you overtook me!”

“Ya snooze, ya lose.” The tip of Samuel’s tongue protruded from between his lips as he stared at the screen intensely, flying past the finish line. “Hell yes! I rule!”

Soonyoung sighed. “You win once again, asshat.”

Samuel threw his arms around his brother affectionately, planting a kiss on his cheek quickly before anybody could see. “You can’t be angry with me, I’m too perfect.”

He couldn’t mount a reasonable defence against that. “Asshat.”

Samuel giggled loudly to himself. “You _luuuuuuurve_ me.”

“Hey, have you ordered fireworks this year or no?”

The boy shook his head. “Nah, I was going to spend New Year’s dicking around with friends at the pier.”

Soonyoung glanced up. “But now that your _favoritest, most beloved older brother_ is home you’ll hang out here instead of blowing an arm off via fire sparklers, right?”

The boy rolled his eyes dramatically before flopping back down on the couch. “Guess so, ahuh. It’s been years since I got to blow _your_ arm off via fire sparkler.”

“Boys, play nice,” came the warning. Seungcheol followed his Labrador into the room and sat in his favorite armchair. “Don’t make me come over there.”

The two instantly straightened, chorusing “Yes, sir” in perfect unison.

 

Seokmin swung his arm lightly, holding fast to his boyfriend’s fingers. “So, three hours to kill before the fireworks start. Where are you taking me?”

“Hmm, just for a walk.” Soonyoung struggled to keep Charlie in check, pulling slightly on her leash with both hands for good measure. “I needed some air after Jihoon burned that cake.”

Seokmin simply smiled to himself at that, sticking his freed hand in his pocket. “I love you, Kwon Soonyoung.”

“I love you too,” Soonyoung returned easily, staring into the distance. “We should stick to the larger roads above the sand. Kids tend to hang out on the beach and do dumb shit with fireworks. Let’s not subject ourselves to that.”

“Agreed. Gotta keep you safe.”

“Nah, I’m already a scarred freakshow. You’re still intact, I’d like to keep you that way.”

Seokmin scowled darkly at that.

“Anyway, did you have somewhere you wanted to go?”

“Not really.” He brightened. “I’ll roam anywhere with you.”

Soonyoung had to grin at that. “You’re sweet.”

“I know.”

“You know, I don’t think I’ve ever really thought about it. Your age, I mean. Our age difference. I guess you do _look_ older than me, but you’ve got stamina.”

Seokmin nudged him gently. “I’m not _that_ decrepit, you know. But… I guess I’m closer to forty than ever before.”

“When’s your birthday, anyway?”

“February.” Seokmin kicked a pebble, letting it skit over the pavement a moment as he watched it. “It’s close.”

“It is. I’ll have to see what kind of gift I can get you.”

“No gifts.”

“No gifts?”

“I don’t want gifts. Not from you.”

Soonyoung flinched a little, though his boyfriend never saw it. He almost wanted to ask _why not from me specifically,_ but then realized that his earlier revelation that Seokmin wasn’t attracted to his body was more than enough pain for him to deal with on New Year’s Eve. Besides, Seokmin might not want it for similar reasons.

After all, Seokmin was a rich mafia boss. The Christmas gifts he’d received were probably pathetic at best.

Soonyoung had no idea where all this self-doubt and insecurity came from, but everything made him anxious. His family’s rejection of his boyfriend had made him hyper-aware of how important Seokmin really was to him. Logically, he knew that his hypersensitivity _probably_ had something to do with the torture he’d endured under Jeonghan, but unfortunately, Emotion and Logic weren’t really on speaking terms with each other for the time being.

He recognized that this all was going to warrant a trip to a therapist of some sort. He also elected to ignore that realization.

“Do you want to go shopping? I’ll buy you something cute.”

Soonyoung shook his head a little. “No, that’s okay. I don’t want anything.”

“Come on, I’ll buy you a cute phone accessory.”

“That’s okay. Can’t I have a cute boyfriend to hold my hand instead?”

“…I guess you could, but then where would that leave me? Since I’m not cute.”

“You’re cute to me.”

Seokmin smirked, twisting close to wrap Soonyoung’s hand in his. “I’m glad. That way you won’t break up with me.”

“I won’t break up with you.” Soonyoung sat on a bench overlooking the beach, inviting his lover to sit with him as Charlie took a breather. He leaned his head on Seokmin’s shoulder. “Not ever, ever.”

Seokmin smiled gently, leaning back against his lover a little. “I’m glad. Honored, actually. To have your devotion. To the point where you’re willing to give your all for me. Isn’t that spoiling me too much?”

“It’s okay to spoil you,” Soonyoung mumbled a moment. “And I don’t really think I have a choice anymore. My logic side and emotion side aren’t on speaking terms. I mean, _logically_ I shouldn’t be here with you. I shouldn’t have fallen in love with you. But I guess logic doesn’t have much to do with it. When you feel this way.” Soonyoung squirmed. “Is love always this… strange?”

“Strange?”

“Comfortable, because I feel happy, but uncomfortable, because I’m scared one day I won’t be this happy anymore. What if I get too old for you? Jeo-… he was already in his thirties when you dismissed him. What if, in a decade’s time, I lose my youthful charm and some other boy catches your eye the way I first did?”

Seokmin’s smile became slightly amused, though Soonyoung couldn’t see it. “That won’t happen.”

He looked up. “How can you tell?”

Seokmin turned to him slightly, beaming softly. “Because I’ve already found the love of my life. How could I be distracted by anybody else when I know you exist? I’m already a cradle robber, don’t make me even worse by saying I’ll fall in love with somebody even younger than you.”

Soonyoung poked him harmlessly in the tummy. “Don’t call yourself a cradle-robber, that’s not fair. It’s not like us being together is all your decision you know. You didn’t kidnap me. Well… maybe you did, but only at the beginning. Anyway, this is my decision too, and I’m actively deciding to be with you. And since it’s that way, our ages don’t matter anymore.”

Seokmin put an arm around his boyfriend’s waist, keeping him close. “I love you, Kwon Soonyoung. How cute are you?”

“I’m not cute.”

“That is debatable.”

“I say I’m not, and I’m right.”

Seokmin rolled his eyes, but didn’t protest. “Soonie, when’s your birthday, anyway?”

“’s in June. Why?”

“You asked me mine. June, huh… I’ll have to think of something special.”

“If you and Mingyu could be cordial with each other, that would be very nice.” Soonyoung held up the OK-sign for a moment. “And like, maybe some fried chicken. I like chicken. And uh… let’s see… a nice, long, happy kiss from my boyfriend. Aaaaand… I’d like to go for ice-cream. Since it’ll be June and it’ll be hot.”

Seokmin smiled, kissing his forehead. “Hm, chicken, ice-cream, kisses and being nice to Mingyu. Well, I’ll see what I can do.”

“Thank you.” He pouted, suddenly. “Why can’t I do anything for you on your birthday?”

“Because I said so.”

Soonyoung sighed deeply. “You don’t play fair.”

“Well, I’m a mafia boss, that’s part of the deal.” Seokmin didn’t seem perturbed by it. “Hey, have you ever thought about getting any more piercings?”

Soonyoung’s free hand moved from his lap to fondle his earlobes, where two little silver rings sat. “Not really. I already have a tattoo I have to hide. I’ve had these for years, but if I got new ones, who knows how Jihoon would react?”

“What if it wasn’t one he could see?”

Soonyoung crossed his legs automatically. “What are you talking about?”

Seokmin laughed, cuddling closer. “Okay, never mind. Don’t get so suspicious suddenly. It was just a thought.”

“Do… I mean, would that…” Soonyoung stared at the ground a moment, trying to form a sentence. “If I got it pierced… would you like it more?”

“What do you mean?”

“Would you be happier if I got it pierced?”

Seokmin nudged him. “I was only teasing, you don’t need to take it that seriously.”

“No, really. Would it please you?”

“Am I some kind of God for you to ask it like that?” Seokmin frowned, rubbing his boyfriend’s shoulder with one hand. “It’s an interesting proposal, but it’s not like I would really want you to get it pierced.”

Soonyoung deflated a little. “It wouldn’t make you happier?”

“I think I’ll be happy no matter what, if you’re by my side. Why are you suddenly so anxious?”

Soonyoung shrugged, pressing on. “Is there nothing I could do like that to make you happier? I could get my nipples pierced if you like.”

“…if you _really_ wanted to do something for me…”

“Yes?”

“We could always do it in public.” He smirked, giving his boyfriend a lazy grin. “But I don’t think you’d want to do it.”

Soonyoung paused, looking away a moment, heart beating hard. “I’ll do it.”

Seokmin almost choked. “What?”

“If it’s for you, I’ll do it. I’ll do it right now if you want me to.” Soonyoung moved to bend down, and was immediately stopped by hands on his shoulders.

“Hey, _what are you doing_?” He pulled Soonyoung up a little. “I only said it because I knew you wouldn’t want to do it… where is this coming from?”

Soonyoung slumped a little, looking up with wide eyes. “I just wanted to make you happy…”

Seokmin pulled him in close, hugging him tightly. “Don’t do things like that,” he whispered in his ear, letting a hand trail through Soonyoung’s shaggy hair. “Don’t do things you don’t like, don’t do things you’re not interested in just to please me, don’t obey me like I’m your boss anymore, Soonie. I’m your boyfriend. Don’t just do strange things because I asked…”

Soonyoung returned the hug warmly, still feeling dejected. “…did you really not want me to do it?”

“I really don’t want you to do something like that. What if somebody came by and saw you do it? I don’t want my precious Soonie to be hurt or embarrassed or shamed because of something like that.”

_I’m not sure if that makes me feel better or not, but okay._

“Thank you,” he mumbled, voice small.

Seokmin pulled the boy into his lap gently, holding him tightly. “I’m sorry, baby. I was only teasing. Don’t take me so seriously next time.”

“Okay.”

“Are you sure you’re alright? You’re not coming down with something, are you?” Seokmin scowled, pressing the back of his hand to Soonyoung’s forehead. “First not eating, now so weak… I’m worried. Does your throat hurt?”

“It doesn’t hurt.”

“Do you feel sick?”

“I don’t feel sick.”

“Are you having regular bowel movements?”

Soonyoung had to grin a little, nudging his boyfriend. “Are you quite done? I’m fine.”

“You worry me.” Seokmin pressed his face against the boy’s arm. “You’re basically half my age, but I’m still so worried about my Soonie, my architect… Take proper care of yourself, alright?”

“If you’re twice my age, shouldn’t I be saying that to you?” Soonyoung tightened the scarf around Seokmin’s neck very slightly, adjusting its position. “Since you’re older should I be worried your immune system isn’t so good? Should I be buying you herbal teas for good health?”

“I hate you.”

Soonyoung grinned to himself.

“No wait, that’s not true. I don’t hate you, I love you. Don’t think that I hate you.”

“I won’t.” He leaned his head against Seokmin’s shoulder, cuddling up. “I love you, too, Seokmin. When did I become this attached to you? I think it must have been that first time, during the storm.”

That piqued his interest. “What, really?”

Soonyoung didn’t look at him, but nodded a little. “Yeah. When I came in and held you. It made me really… I couldn’t stop thinking about you after it. Because normally you were so stoic and hard, like I couldn’t meet your soul, and then all of a sudden you were so vulnerable, so helpless and in need of love… it made me think about you a lot more. I wondered what your face had been like, since I couldn’t see in the dark. I wondered… if you still looked so cold like nobody could ever hurt you. Or what other expression you could have.”

Seokmin thought about it, arms curled around his lover for a moment. “I said regrettable things that night.”

“We both did.”

“I told you not to come back to the building.”

“I told you I wouldn’t.”

The two sighed at each other a moment.

“No matter what, Soonie… no matter what I say, how angry I am, how hurt I am… I don’t want you to ever think you can’t come back. I’ll always want you to come back. No matter what, if I say I don’t want to see you anymore, I’m lying. I’ll always want you to come back to me. Even if you only come back to hurt me, it’s okay. As long as you come back.”

“I won’t hurt you,” Soonyoung mumbled quietly. “I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want to leave you anymore, either. Things are right now. It makes sense now.”

Seokmin nodded. “I like the _healthy love life_ version of us, too.”

“Good.”

 

“Happy New Year!”

They cheered, each taking a sip of their champagne – or apple juice for Samuel – before heading outside to watch the fireworks. Seungcheol simply smiled unseeing on the porch bench, enjoying the soft descriptions his husband whispered in his ear: Seokmin snaked his arm around Soonyoung’s waist, sitting down on a thick blanket on the grass. Samuel sat in front of them all, staring up at the heavens happily.

Seokmin leaned in until his lips were brushing up against Soonyoung’s ear. “I’m glad I can start the year with somebody whose smile shines just as brightly in the dark as the fireworks. Thank you, Soonyoung.”

Soonyoung grinned back, neon reds and blues and yellows reflected from the sky in his eyes. “It’s all because of you I can be here tonight. Thank you, Vito.”

“Really? Vito Don Corleone? _Really?_ ”

“Mingyu’s rubbed off on me.”

Seokmin simply chuckled.


	25. Chapter 25 [Bonus Chapter: We'll Always Have Tokyo, Part 1]

He’s at the edge of the café. Trying to be inconspicuous, I guess. What with the hunched shoulders, hair drawn back hurriedly in a ponytail, wearing a scruffy hoodie and a _don’t-come-near_ aura.

He looks unfriendly. He looks angry. He looks like the simple coffee between his palms won’t fix a damn thing. He looks like a bad person.

And yet, I want to go to him. He reminds me of a stray cat. I’m a softie. I like cats. And for some reason, today, it’s _this cat_. For some reason, I want to take in this cat. He looks like he needs a hug. And for some reason I’m willing to try and give him one.

I don’t know why I’m attracted to a stranger in a coffee house. Maybe it’s because even from here I can see he’s wearing a Korean-brand hoodie, and I feel solidarity with him in this country. Maybe it’s because his face is beautiful – it’s drawn and tired but hauntingly beautiful. Maybe it’s because he looks like he’d punch me if I said the wrong thing. No matter what the reason, for some reason I’m drawn to him.

 _What’s the worst that can happen?_ I wonder. This whole holiday was meant to help me move my boundaries. About taking up adventure. _What do I have to lose?_

So I pick up my coffee and walk over. “E-excuse me?”

He looks prettier up close. His skin looks shinier. He’s got bags under his eyes, and he looks a little weary, but he’s even prettier. His features are delicately balanced, straight nose, wide eyes. He looks so pretty with that wide-eyed, questioning look.

“Is this seat taken?”

There, I said it! My heart’s beating at a thousand beats per minute, but I said it.

“Uh… no?”

“May I?”

He stares a moment, for what I don’t know, but then nods, so I slide into the seat across from him, setting my coffee cup down.

“Eh, sorry, I know this may seem strange, but I was sitting over across the way and… well.” I look at my hands, embarrassed and flushed now. “It sounded like there was more to that sentence, but there’s not.”

He looks at me as if he’s lost his brain.

“Um, I’m Jisoo. Hong Jisoo.”

“You’re _gorgeous_.”

“…sorry?”

The man suddenly starts to redden – very prettily, across his cheeks and over his nose as his jaw hangs open. “S-sorry, that was weird right?”

What do you even say to that, anyway?

“Sorry, you’re, just – um, you’re very handsome. Your face, I mean. It’s, uh. Good-looking.”

My first reaction is to laugh – how can I do otherwise? – but it’s a happy one. “Thank you.” I’m smiling and I barely even know why. “But I came over because I thought you were good-looking, too, so…”

“Ah, I see.” And now his eyes are dulled, and I don’t know why. The bright, surprised look on his face is leaving. A hopeful kitten is retreating into an old, scary, grumpy alley cat and I don’t know why, but if I don’t act soon, I won’t get him back.

“I didn’t really expect to meet another Korean person here in Japan.”

“Ah, yeah.” His expression didn’t lighten. “I arrived this morning.”

“I see, I came here yesterday. On holiday. My family almost pushed me out the door themselves. I was a little anxious about coming, actually.” I look down at my coffee for the first time, fingers gliding over the rim of the cup. “I don’t usually travel a lot.”

“Me, neither,” the angel says. “I came very suddenly. I… didn’t even bring much with me. Just a pair of clothes and my wallet, really.”

“Ah, I see…” _Oh God if I don’t say it now, I really won’t be able to pluck up the courage later. Say it, me! Say it! What’s the worst that could happen?_ “So you don’t have any plans?”

He shakes his head, a strand of hair coming loose from his pony tail. It frames his face so nicely it’s actually a bit breath taking. He’s bothered by it, his frown growing a shade darker, but he doesn’t do anything about it. As if he’s given up.

My body’s moving by itself now. I lean in to carefully tuck the strand behind his ear. “Ah, sorry? It seemed to be bothering you.”

He stares at me in surprise, the playful kitten out again. “…it was, I guess. Um. Thanks.”

_Say it, me! You’re absolutely useless in these situations, Jisoo. Can’t you just **say it?!**_

“So, uh, if you don’t have any plans,” I blurt out, “do you want to come with me?”

“Come with you?” He repeats it, and his expression dulls even more. Maybe that’s just the way he is? “Sure, I’ll come with you. If you know what you’re asking for.”

“Great!” I’d hide my excitement but there’s no point. I’m terrible at acting when I’m face-to-face with somebody. Over the phone, I could pretend to be anybody with a 99% success rate. When Jihoon confronts me, I can’t even pretend I don’t know where the last cookie went. “I was thinking today I’d go to the Tokyo Tower and then afterwards to the Ueno Zoo? Have you ever been here before? Maybe you don’t want to if you’ve seen them before though…”

He stares at me blankly. “Wait, what?”

“What what?”

“I thought you meant… come back to your hotel room. For sex.”

My heart skips several beats and I legitimately choke on a little air, spluttering into my elbow for a moment as I try to breathe normally for a moment. “Eh! N-no?! N-no I didn’t mean that at all! N-no, no, I meant, on a tour!”

“...a tour?”

“Y-yeah! You know, um, I don’t know, two Korean guys exploring Tokyo together, uh sight-seeing! …I-I didn’t mean s-s-se-!”

He stares at me with the most perplexed, terrified expression I’ve seen since the day Samuel figured out Jihoon and Seungcheol were doing each other. “Oh,” he says simply.

I have to take a few sips of my coffee before I can rearrange my thoughts. “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offer something like that… is, um, is that what you’re here for?”

“No,” he says slowly, “it’s not. I just… thought… there’s no other reason somebody would come talk to me like this, is there?”

“…I just thought… maybe, um… I-I don’t know.” The blood is starting to drain from my face. I can’t look at him. This situation is _way_ too embarrassing. A hot stranger thought I was… what? Soliciting for a prostitute? And why would he even _accept_ under those terms- there’s a _klunk_ noise in the back of my head as that falls into place. “Ah, you’re a…”

“Um, no.” He sits back, both palms up. “Not anymore. I guess. I was just surprised.”

“Oh.” I sit there, not knowing what to say. After all, what can follow _that_?

“Um… Mr. Jisoo?”

“Y-yeah?”

“…I. Uh. I’d like… to see the zoo. If, uh, if that invitation is still open. I’ll understand if it’s not.”

When I look up, he’s giving me a funny look. It’s soft and smiling with soft eyes, but it looks sad, somehow. It’s gentle and welcoming, but somehow… empty?

But I can’t concentrate on that now. I’m electing to ignore the misunderstanding we just had. Because a very handsome person just agreed to go out on a date with me. “Really? You will? That’s great!”

He’s shocked again – it’s comical how the expression is never exaggerated, but very obvious, even though his features only change subtly. His jaw hangs just a bit lower, his eyes are just a bit wider, but he’s shocked. He’s shocked that I said yes.

“Are you done with your coffee?”

He nods.

“Me too.” I hitch my bag onto my shoulders and take his hand, pulling him out of the seat and towards the door – and for some reason, this angelic-looking man doesn’t resist. I tip-toe on the street, hailing a cab. “Hey, what’s your name?”

“Jeonghan,” he mumbles. “Yoon Jeonghan.”

 

Yoon Jeonghan is really pretty. He’s quiet, but he’s a good listener, and he follows me well. Even when I flit off to the butterfly palace or to see the panda bears, he simply trails behind me with a small, innocent smile on his face. We spend hours at the zoo, and I kind of feel like I’m having all the fun and he’s bored out of his mind, but every time I turn to check if he’s okay he’s got that tiny smile on his face.

So I can’t help but take his hand and pull him along to the next exhibit happily.

 

“Are you hungry?”

“Ah, it got late.” Jeonghan stares at the dark sky. “Are you asking me to dinner?”

“…spent a whole day together, we should at least share a meal. Right? According to my phone and the subway wifi service, there’s a ramen shop nearby. We can get _real,_ authentic Japanese ramen! Do you think it’s like in anime? Or a Studio Ghibli movie?” I look up happily before sobering a little. “Ah… did you not want to? I don’t want to force you or a-”

Jeonghan takes my hand, and it’s soft. He grins at me. “Let’s go eat.”

 

It’s _really_ dark and the sky’s got no stars. It kind of makes me miss Jeju, even if it’s just a little. The stars are so bright there. I can’t help but glare a little at a dull sky.

“You alright?”

“Mm, yeah.” I turn to him slowly. “It must be… late…”

Jeonghan is bright red in the face, a little swollen, staring at me with wide eyes. He grips my shoulder, swaying a little.

I chuckle. “You don’t hold your drink well, do you?”

“D-don’t be mean…”

“Are you checked into a hotel yet?”

He manages to shake his head, ponytail finally coming loose, hair dripping past his temples.

“Do you want to come back with me?” I ask, but I’ve already lost him – he’s not in a position to make any decisions, rational or no. The sight of the angel out of his wits is a little cute. “Alright. Me it is.”

 

Jeonghan is practically snoring the moment his head hits the pillow: I can barely get his shoes off him before he curls up like a child, still flushed.

“Well, guess _you’re_ not budging, huh.” I can’t help but smile, though. _It seems I’ve brought the alley cat home. He’s my responsibility now._

I think back to the misunderstanding we had this morning. ‘ _No, I’m not. Not anymore, I guess.’_ Does that mean at some point, this angel sold his body for money?

_Boy am I glad Jihoon can’t read my thoughts, ‘cause I’d get smacked for half the shit I think at times._

I can’t help but smile again. _Guess it doesn’t matter now, Jeonghan. Sleep tight._ I pull the sheets over his body and tuck him in before placing a glass of water and an aspirin on the nightstand. He’ll need them in the morning. Then I take one of the extra blankets out from the hotel closet – I’m sure they won’t mind – and spread it on the couch.

 

When I step out of the shower he’s somewhat upright on the bed, surprisingly so, lanky hair covering most of his face.

“… _uuuh…_ ”

I smile fondly. “Aspirin is on your left.”

He seems to take a moment, as if he’s a Microsoft Vista trying to boot up, and then he turns and takes two pills, chasing it with a long glug of water.

“There’s towels in the bathroom if you want a shower,” I nudge gently, rubbing my hair with a small white one.

He seems to stare at me for a while before he wiggles awkwardly on the mattress, as if he’s testing it, and then he speeds into the bathroom.

_Cute. Too cute._

I pull on a shirt and pull a menu card off the coffee table in the room to peruse. I don’t even notice Jeonghan getting out of the shower until his voice is by my ear.

“Oh, they have milk.”

“Oh _shit_!” I jump, flinching hard. “You scared the crap out of me! You can’t creep up on people like that, I could have a heart condition or anything?”

He snorts in amusement. “Sorry.”

“You want milk? Breakfast’s served till ten, so we still have an hour.”

“Yeah, okay. Hold on, let me get dressed.” He turned away, and I didn’t bother watching. “Hey, Jisoo, can I ask you what may end up being a very awkward question?”

“Sure.”

“Did we fuck last night?”

“I don’t know what’s worse,” I confess, “the fact that you just asked me that, or the fact that I knew to anticipate the question. No, Jeonghan, we did not have sex.”

“Cause I remember getting wasted during a bowl of ramen and after that it’s not really…”

“Clear?”

“Existent in my memory at all.”

I grin and turn to where he’s struggling into his hoodie again. “I brought you back and tucked you in.”

“And you didn’t fuck me?”

“ _No_ , you were drunk. The moment your head hit the pillow, you were asleep.”

“…and you didn’t, while I was asleep?”

 _“No,_ jeez, we met _yesterday_ – what kind of a creep do you think I am?” I turn back to the menu. “I tucked you in and slept here on the couch.”

He walked back to hang over the back of the couch again. “I _knew_ I didn’t feel fucked out. Why?”

“What?”

“Why’d you not…?”

“Dude, ‘cause that’s _creepy_ and _wrong_.”

“Are you not attracted to me?”

I glance at him and bite my lip a bit. “You’re handsome enough, I guess.”

“Then…?”

“What, so if somebody’s hot I just ravage them? What am I, some kind of undignified animal?” I scowl at him. “I would like to think I give a better impression of myself than that. Besides, I like you. People don’t do disgusting, horrifying things to people they like.”

Jeonghan stares at me for a moment, then at the makeshift bed. “You even slept over here… for me?”

“ _Duh_.” I’m glaring now. “What am I, some kind of pre-”

Jeonghan leans in and kisses my cheek.

I can feel the blood rushing before I can stop it. “W-wh-w-w-wha-what a-are-”

“Thank you.” Jeonghan’s eyes are bigger than ever, shiny and happy and soft. “For not taking advantage.”

“…y-…you’re w-welcome?”

“Are you ready to get breakfast? I’m starving.”

“Y-yeah, uh, yeah. Hold on. Let me grab my shoes.” I slide into a pair of sandals and throw on a sweater. “Do you… do you want to come with me again? Today? Sight seeing?”

He looks at me for a moment. “Um… is that okay?”

I can’t help my face warming up with a smile as I open the door. “Ahuh.”

 

 _“Disney?_ ”

“Don’t tell me you don’t love Disney!”

“…you have kids, don’t you?”

“I don’t.” I sniff indignantly. “I take care of my cousin’s kids sometimes, though. Well, I guess they’re not really kids anymore.”

“I see.”

“You really don’t like Disney?” I can’t help the pout on my face. “We can go somewhere else, I guess.”

It takes him a moment, and then he’s clasping an arm around mine. “No way. You want to go to Disney Land, we’re going to Disney Land.” He marches towards the entrance. “And that’s that!”

 

“This was great,” I grin, happily holding my ice-cream cone. “Thanks for coming with me.”

Jeonghan gives me a look – I’ve seen it before, and I always kind of think he reminds me of a snake when he looks that way. Not in a bad way: it’s more like he just looks extremely smooth and sleek, with large, dark eyes. He looks kind of pretty like that. “Thanks for having me,” he smiles.

I have to look away _real_ fast.

“Jisoo?”

“Mm?”

“…would it be presumptuous of me to ask… if I could, uh… come home with you again tonight?”

I shrug, trying to be nonchalant. “Sure. Oh, but I had to ring the desk and inform them there’s now two people staying in my room, so you’re splitting the raised costs with me.”

“Deal,” he smiles. “Thanks.”

“My pleasure.”

 

“Hey, what are you doing?”

I stand there in shock with my hands curled around the blanket. “I, uh…?”

Jeonghan pats the pillows beside him. “You already gave the bed up for me once, I’m not gonna ask you to sleep on the couch again. Besides, I’m sober now.”

I hesitate. Can I sleep in that huge bed with a handsome guy?

He pats the pillows again. Fluffy and inviting. “Promise I won’t make a move on you.”

I’m blushing, I know I am, but I trot forward regardless. “Um, thanks.”

“It’s common courtesy not to hit on a straight guy.” Jeonghan shrugs, sliding down until he’s in a horizontal position. “Actually, it’s common courtesy not to hit on a guy that doesn’t want to get hit on. I’m fully capable of sleeping in a bed next to somebody without being a creep, you know.”

I pause, the corner of the duvet hanging from my hand in the air. “I’m not, uh, um, or I mean yeah but not… uh…”

He looks at me blankly.

“I don’t take to labels,” is all I can manage, sliding under the sheets awkwardly. “So there.”

“Oh.” He watches me for a moment. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to presume.”

“It’s fine.”

“…Goodnight, Jisoo.”

“Night, Jeonghan.”


	26. Chapter 26

“So.”

“So?”

“Are you guys getting married?”

Soonyoung choked on his drink, spitting half of it all over the sidewalk. “Dude, do we _look_ that close?”

Samuel kicked a pebble on the street, shoving his hands in his pockets for a moment, mumbling something incomprehensible.

“What?”

“…your boyfriend has the same look Jihoon had at the beginning. When he first came to Jeju with dad those first few times? He used to look at dad real funny. Seokmin has the same look on his face when he looks at you.”

Soonyoung frowned a little, thinking about that. “What type of look is that?”

Samuel thought about it, staring at the grey skies for a while as they sauntered down the road. “I guess, the kind of look… it seems like the person he’s looking at has more to him than meets the eye, the kind of look you’d give a puzzle as you’re solving it… like he’s found something precious, but doesn’t understand what it is yet, but knows he wants to stay close to that person to find out… the kind of look you give an unrequited love in its early stages? That kind of look.”

He got a nudge for that. “You writing a book or?”

The boy just shrugged. “It’s a nice look. Kind of warm and happy and amazed. I think he really feels very deeply for you.”

“Well that’s nice, since we’re boyfriends and all.”

“He worries me though.”

“How so?”

“Sometimes when he’s spacing out he looks scary. Like he has a really cold, mean side to him.”

The architect grinned. “Yeah, he does have that side. Don’t worry. It’s not a side you’ll see.”

“And… don’t take this the wrong way, but… he really _is_ a lot older than you.”

Soonyoung smiled at that, staring into the distance. “He is.”

Samuel waited, but no other information came. “Aren’t you worried about that? You’re still young, working on your career… what if you want different things?”

“I’m not worried. We work very well together. Yeah, he’s older… but… I don’t know. It’s hard to explain. Where we are right now, we have a very good relationship. I guess that _could_ change, sometime in the future, but for now… I think I’m very happy.”

Samuel considered that for a while before suddenly putting his arms around his brother. “Good,” he whispered. “It’s time you were finally happy, Soonyoung. You missed mom too much for too long.”

A lump formed in Soonyoung’s throat very suddenly as he automatically held his brother back. “Y-yeah.”

Samuel let him go, but it was a moment before Soonyoung could unlock his joints to release him.

“I, uh, I didn’t know you still – uh, remembered her. Mom.”

Samuel shrugged. “Bits. I remember bits. Little flashes. She used to have a blue vase on the windowsill with a red rose in glass on its face.”

It took his brother a moment. “Yeah, she did.”

“And pearl earrings. Little round ones with a dangly bit.”

“Yes.” Soonyoung’s voice was now faint as he stared at nothing. “They were tear-drop shaped. She had a matching necklace.”

“Really? I don’t remember that.”

Soonyoung nodded once.

“I remember her other necklace. The golden one with the star pendant.”

He couldn’t reply.

“And the perfume she wore. It was super sweet. Cheap. Citrus. I remember smelling it when she hugged me.”

“You were so little,” Soonyoung choked.

“You remember things from when you were little,” he pouted. “You remember me being born.”

“Yes. Yes I remember that. How could I forget? You would remember if you-… if you had a younger sibling, too.” He had to stop himself from flinching, dark memories returning. The sound of his mother’s sobs filled his ears for a moment, watching her press a pillow over a figure in a cot in his mind’s eye.

“I guess so.”

Soonyoung shook his head quickly to dissolve the memory. “I didn’t think you remembered Mom at all. You were so tiny when she died.”

Samuel wasn’t looking at his brother anymore: he simply stared into the distance, like Soonyoung, as they slowly kept walking. “Just flashes. Bits. The officer that came to the house was bald.”

“Yeah. A woman came to the house, too.”

“I don’t remember her.”

He nodded woodenly. “There were two of them.”

“I guess I don’t remember perfectly.”

“That’s okay. I wish you didn’t remember at all. It would be less painful for you that way.”

The boy shrugged. “That’s okay. I mostly remember good things, anyway. Do you know what happened to her stuff?”

“…most of it was left there. Probably taken in by the government and sold to fund her funeral. Just before the other people came to take us away, I grabbed some of her things and stuffed them in a plastic bag.” He paused. “The pearl earrings. I still have them. They’re in a purple felt box under the floorboards of my room. With, uh… a photograph of her holding you the day you were born. The first book we both learned our alphabet from. Mom’s lipstick.”

“You have a photograph of her?”

“Yeah.”

“You never told me.”

“I didn’t think you remembered her.”

“I don’t.” Samuel’s voice was just as quiet. “I don’t remember my own mother’s face. I don’t remember her voice or her eyes or the clothes she wore, the sound of her high heels on the floor, the color of her hair, I don’t remember any of it. I have no idea what she looked like.”

Soonyoung’s arm automatically wound around the boy’s shoulders. “When we go home, I’ll take it out for you.”

Samuel shook his head. “That’s okay… I’m not sure I ever want to see it. I’m…”

The word _scared_ was never said, but Soonyoung could hear it easily. “Okay,” he murmured. “If you ever want to see those things again, though, you’re more than welcome to go in and take them out. The floorboard directly under the left corner of the window is loose. That’s where I left the box. It’s Uncle Jisoo’s room now, right? I’m sure you can sneak in.”

“How long has it been there?”

“I used to keep it in an emergency bag.” Soonyoung’s troubled face never cleared. “I had an emergency bag packed and ready to go – two sets of clothing that were mine, two of yours, a wad of cash and the box – well, it was in a plastic bag then. I made it in case we ever needed to run or escape from where we were. It wasn’t until about a year after Jihoon moved in that I unpacked the bag, bought the box, and hid it away.”

Samuel’s arm curled around his brother’s back. “You were that worried about us being okay?”

“After everything that happened to us? Yeah. I used to rotate out the outfits every six months to stay ahead of our growth spurts. I still have some of your baby clothes, though.”

Samuel scowled. “How old was I when you first packed the bag?”

“Almost three.”

He cocked his head. “Mom died just after my fourth birthday. She was still alive when I was three. Why would you…?”

“…things happen. I wanted to be prepared.”

“You weren’t even nine yet.” He sighed. “I’m sorry you had to grow up so quickly for me.”

“That’s okay.” A genuine smile broke through the clouds on Soonyoung’s face. “After all, nothing’s ever as important as my brother.”

“Sap.” Samuel grinned too, ribbing his brother a little before stretching a little. “Anyway, regardless… thanks for taking care of me. I don’t think I’ve ever officially thanked you for that. If I’d been alone, I don’t know what I would have done.”

“My pleasure. Anyway, we both turned out alright, didn’t we?”

“Well you’re dating a dinosaur so I’m not sure you can claim-”

Samuel didn’t get the chance to finish the sentence before he was chased down the street.

 

“Do we really have to leave?”

“You don’t, I suppose, but I definitely have to get back to Seoul.”

“ _Whyyyyyy_.”

“…Yoon is still loose in the city.”

“Who is Yoo- oh.” Soonyoung shifted slightly.

“I know you don’t like hearing his name.”

“Thanks.” He glared at the ceiling. “I guess it is time to go home. It’s been wonderful. You’re absolutely the best boyfriend in existence for giving me this.”

“I’m just happy I got to see you this happy. And I got to meet your family, too. Even though I’m not sure they approve of me, it was important to me to meet the people who helped my Soonie become the man he is.”

Soonyoung grinned at that. “I love you, gangster Lee Seokmin.”

“I love you, architect Kwon Soonyoung.”

“Do we have time for dick-sucking or do I have to wait till we get back to Seoul?”

Seokmin grinned, turning over. “I can do that for you.”

“I didn’t mean me, I meant you.” Soonyoung pushed his boyfriend back onto the bed and pulled himself between his legs with a sly grin. “We haven’t fooled around enough since we got here.”

“Can’t we 69?”

“No. Shut up and let me blow you.”

“Well, that’s romantic.”

Soonyoung paused over his prey for a moment at the tone being used before glancing up nervously. “Do… you really not want me to?”

Seokmin gave him a look – not quite a frown, but a furrowed brow with a strange glint in his eye, as if he were trying to solve a puzzle. “Soonyoung, come here a moment?”

Soonyoung shifted, vaulting himself back up to eye-level with his boyfriend. “Am I in trouble?”

“Yes, heaps.” Seokmin continued the puzzling look for a moment, cradling Soonyoung’s face with one hand, the pad of his thumb gently stroking over the boy’s cheek. “I love you so much, why are you so confusing to me…”

Soonyoung gave him a completely guilty look, even though he wasn’t at all sure what he was in trouble for. “I’m sorry.”

“What _for_?”

“For whatever I’ve done to make you angry. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.” He broke eye contact, squirming uncomfortably. “If there’s anything I can do to make it up to you, I will. Just say the word.”

Seokmin just stared with the same expression. “You strange, strange creature…”

“I’m sorry I’m strange.”

“Stop that!”

Soonyoung flinched, looking away from him entirely, covering his face with both hands. “I’m sorry, sorry!”

Seokmin simply pulled his architect in, chest to chest, barring him from escape. “Shhhhh, precious baby Soonie,” he cooed, hugging him tightly. “Please stop apologizing, my love… please stop… You have nothing to apologize for…”

At first his fingers trembled on Seokmin’s skin, too nervous to handle himself, but the longer he was held in such a sturdy embrace the more he began to relax, until he was a sleepy mess of skin and bones in his lover’s arms.

“Feel better?” Seokmin whispered gently, recognizing the sag of Soonyoung’s body.

“M-hm.”

“…we can talk more about this when we get home. I don’t want you to be worried about anything, okay? No matter what it is that has you so nervous, I’ll fix it for you. I’ll take care of it for you, Soonyoung. I love you. I love you so much, precious boy.” Seokmin gave him a look of utter comfort that made his heart race: the kind that promised that Seokmin’s arms were home, and always would be.

He simply cuddled up even closer, nuzzling against Seokmin’s shoulder at the comforting words. “Can I sleep here? It’s really comfy.”

Seokmin chuckled at the honest request. “I’m sorry, love. We need to pack up and go home.”

 

“Be good. Don’t get into trouble. Do your homework. Obey dad and Jihoon.”

“Good God, let it _go_. I’ll be fine.”

“Sorry. I just miss you so much over there. Promise you’ll be good?”

“Yeah, yeah, I promise.”

“And tell Uncle Jisoo I’m sorry I missed him.”

“Yeah. I will.”

Soonyoung hugged Jihoon again, and then Seungcheol, and then Samuel again before Kim Mingyu had to physically pull him out onto the ferry.

“Bye! I love you!”

“We love you too!”

Soonyoung spent most of the journey waving at the shrinking sight of the Jeju pier, even when it was entirely out of sight. When he finally went inside, sitting beside his lover dejectedly, he was pulled into a warm embrace.

“It’ll be alright. It’s not like you won’t ever see them again.”

“Will I?”

“You will. I promise.”

 

Minghao picked the four of them up at the harbor – much like the gangster and his boyfriend, he made an honest attempt not to notice the small, patchy, sexual bruise marks both Wonwoo and Mingyu were covered in, and did an awful job by snorting the moment he noticed them.

Wonwoo was dropped off at his place first, welcomed by his sister, and then Soonyoung and Mingyu were brought back to their apartment.

There was something strange about it – it wasn’t quite _home_ , but it made Soonyoung feel tranquil to be back, anyway. The slightly musky smell of the unused apartment gave him cause to smile a little.

“So.” Mingyu dropped his bag in a corner and made the windows, opening them to get rid of the musky smell. “You gonna tell me what’s up, or?”

“Hmm?” He forced himself out of his reverie. “What do you mean?”

“Are you just sad to leave your family, or is there something else you need to share with the class? Because you’re acting weird, especially around your boyfriend.” His face turned a shade darker, like a shadow pulled across it. “Did he hurt you?”

“No! No, no no – nothing like that!” Soonyoung started at the idea. “It’s… it’s a personal matter.”

“You can’t tell me?”

“If I thought you could keep it to yourself I would, blabber mouth.” He moved to continue opening the windows in the bedrooms. “But before I’ve even told you half the problem, the whole university will know.”

“That’s the most unfair thing you’ve ever said,” Mingyu pouted. “I’ll pinky-promise you I won’t tell anybody.”

Soonyoung sighed. Even he knew Mingyu took pinky promises very seriously. It was a philosophy the overgrown puppy stood by no matter what. He genuinely believed he was in his right to have his pinky finger cut off if he broke his pinky promises.

“Fine. I’ll tell you. But you can’t talk about this to literally anybody else. Not even animals, inanimate objects or even yourself. And you most _certainly_ can’t bring it up to Seokmin.” He wrung his hands nervously for a moment. “I’d be in trouble for making our problems public.”

Mingyu simply stuck out his hand, little finger raised. “It’s a deal.”

Soonyoung took it for a moment, clasping. “Seokmin… has a bit of an issue being intimate with me.”

“…are there going to be gross details?” he asked warily.

He shook his head. “No, it’s just… w-when I was, um, kidnapped… I, I have some scars… he said he didn’t want to see them anymore. That he didn’t want to… _be_ with me, while I had them. The very thought of being intimate when I looked like this made him shudder. And lately, there’s also been this feeling that I’m not… physically adequate? I mean, he’s always surrounded by muscular guys, and I’ve been piling on the pizza, if you know what I mean. So, I guess it’s just that feeling of being inadequate. Physically. To the point where he was… repulsed by my body. So I’m just… dealing with that. It’s a lot to think about.”

“It’s _his_ fault you’re scarred in the first place, who does he think he is deman-”

“Please, Mingyu? Don’t. I love him… so much. Trimming some fat and bulking up isn’t that big of a deal. I should be doing it already for my own physical health, anyway.”

“That’s an unhealthy relationship,” Mingyu muttered unhappily.

“You can’t tell anyone.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t mention it.” Mingyu hauled him in for a hug. “If it makes any difference, I still think you’re twenty times too good for somebody like him. Scars and all.”

He was given a watery, half-empty smile in return. “Thanks, Mingyu.”

 

A week passed and Soonyoung didn’t meet with Seokmin. Two weeks passed, and he’d entirely readjusted his lifestyle to a protein-based diet and hitting the gym every single day for hours. He worked out with a single-focus mind: he _had_ to be more physically attractive the next time he saw Seokmin.

Sixteen days passed, and Soonyoung shook with the realization: he was terrified to his core of seeing Seokmin again before that goal had been reached. Soonyoung also realized that this was starting to grow into a real mental problem and he should probably see a specialist about the overwhelming angst. He then wondered about the boyfriend of a mafia boss seeing a shrink, and how that might work out for everybody in the end.

Soonyoung was falling deeper and deeper into what seemed to be a never-ending black hole. Consumed by fear, he was too scared to even take a drink that wasn’t pure water. If he wasn’t in the gym desperately trying to bulk up, he was huddled under the covers of his bed, shaking with the idea that Seokmin didn’t want him anymore. It was terrifying, how attached he had become to his boyfriend, and how much it meant that he was still accepted and loved by him. Irrational thought began to take over in his mind until it was all that was left, feeding on fear, and spurring out self-hatred.

 _Please let him love me_ , he prayed to nobody, shaking in his bed. _I need him. So much._


	27. Chapter 27

**_[Seokmin]_** Please?

 ** _[Soonyoung]_** I’m sorry, I’m busy.

 ** _[Seokmin]_** Is Uni being so hard on you still? Can’t you tell them to lay off for a little? I miss my baby.

 ** _[Soonyoung]_** That’s not how it works…

 ** _[Seokmin]_** I miss you so much. Can I come over? Even if it’s just for an hour or so, I want to see you…

 ** _[Soonyoung]_** Don’t bother… it’s not worth it for just a short amount of time… I’m sorry

 ** _[Seokmin]_** Soonyoung… you know I love you, right?

 ** _[Soonyoung]_** I love you too.

 ** _[Seokmin]_** I love you so much. So much you can’t even imagine it. I miss you, Soonyoungie. I miss your face and your voice and your smile. You’ll come over as soon as you can, right?

 ** _[Soonyoung]_** I’ll come when I’m able. I love you too.

 

Five more days passed in ominous silence.

 ** _[Seokmin]_** Soonyoung, are you breaking up with me?

There was a moment of panic while Soonyoung read his text – and then he was on his feet in sudden, indignant fury, pulling the thermometer from his mouth without giving it another glance.

 ** _[Soonyoung]_** What?! No! Why are you saying this?

 ** _[Soonyoung]_** No, nevermind. I’m calling you right now. Answer my call.

“Hello?” Seokmin’s voice was strangled for a moment. “Soonyoung?”

“Ya, where do you get off exactly?” The boy was struggling into his coat and shoes. “Coming to such weird conclusions by yourself? Who has said what to you for you to be thinking that way? That I would break up with you? Aren’t you ten times more likely to be the one to break up with me?”

There was a sniff. “ _Soonyoung_?” he whispered. “I haven’t even heard your voice in-”

Soonyoung slammed the front door shut, automatically cupping a hand over the receiver to block the blizzard wind. “I’m coming over right now to yell at you, so you had better have a good excuse by then.”

“You’re coming?” The hope in his voice was undeniable. “Here?”

“Yes. I’ll be there in twenty minutes. You’re at the office right?”

“Y-yes! Yes I’m at the office! Are you really coming?”

“I’ll see you soon.”

Even though the last sentence was definitely a threat, twenty minutes away in an office in Seoul, Seokmin blushed and grinned.

 

Soonyoung was sweating, sniffling and worked up by the time he got to the office: even Minghao skipped back a step when he saw the look on the boy’s face. “S-Soo-Soon-”

“Is he in?” Soonyoung growled, coat already half-off his body. He flung it to the side over a chair, not halting his stride.

“He is but you can’t go – no, Soonyoung, I!”

He marched into the room, swinging both doors open leisurely. He glared at the small man in the seat, throwing a thumb over his shoulder. “You. Out. Now.”

The little man glanced nervously at Seokmin, who was wearing his perfectly stony mafia face as per usual. He simply nodded once, and then the man scurried.

He was barely out the door when Soonyoung began.

“What _exactly_ do you think you’re saying?”

“Soonie.” He instantly got up, expression melting off his face, replaced by a light, happy look.

“How can you go around texting me something like that?”

“Soonie.” Seokmin almost fell against him, embracing him as if he were finally coming home after a long trip. “My Soonie. It’s been so lo-”

The boy struggled away from under his grip nervously, with a scowl. “Don’t do that, you dick, I’m mad at you!”

“Mad at me?” Seokmin looked like he wasn’t sure whether to be ecstatic his boyfriend was there, or upset because he was angry. “Why?”

“How can you say something so callously like I’m going to break up with you?” Soonyoung’s entire upper body leaned forward to yell. “It’s bad enough that you detest my body, but do you have to doubt my integrity and call me a liar like that as well?”

The mafia boss stood there in shock.

“Don’t you have a decent bone in your body?” In complete anger, Soonyoung threw a chair to the other side of the room. “Can’t you accept that, at the very least, you’re more likely to break up with me and not the other way around? Why do you have to be such a _dick_ and make me out to be a _bad person_ like that?” Tears began to form in his eyes. “I’ve only been training for two weeks, how quickly do you think I can make my body ready for you? How can you scold me like this when I’m already trying so hard to fit your expectations?”

The man just stood there in shock and surprise. “I just… wanted to see you,” he mumbled, voice small, absolutely lost. “Or hear your voice… even a phonecall would have been enough to make me happy… I just… missed you… so much…”

“ _Why_ would I break up with you? When you’re my number one reason for everything? When I’m doing everything I possibly can to be what you want me to be, why would I decide to break up with you? And without even telling you? What kind of coward do you take me for?”

“What are you _talking_ about?”

“How am I supposed to get rid of scars and grow muscles in only two or three weeks?” the man cried hysterically, arms waving in tense gestures. “I don’t want to appear in front of you if you’re repulsed by my body so why are you so insistent I come to see you when we both know you won’t like what you see?”

“ _What_?”

“I’m sorry I’m not good enough for you!” he screamed angrily, shaking where he stood. “I’m trying, I _swear_ I’m trying _so_ hard, Seokmin, so you can have what you want, but I… if you don’t trust me, if this is only how far you can believe I can go for you… then what… wha…”

Seokmin finally moved, rushing forward to pull his boyfriend in close. “Fever,” he whispered to himself as the boy shook in his arms. “Minghao!”

“Yes, sir?” His head peeked around the door.

“Ready the next bedroom and call the doctor.” Seokmin turned back to the delirious boy, thrashing uselessly in his arms. “…my Soonyoung is sick.”

 

Soonyoung drifted in and out of consciousness as the doctor took stock of him: temperature, blood pressure, blood samples and glucose levels were all taken. When the doctor left, he left simple instructions for the boy curled up in the bed.

“I only expect it to be a bad winter flu... once the blood results come through I’ll let you know,” he murmured to Seokmin softly. “Until then it’s best to let him sit it out and let the fever break itself.”

“He can’t be given something for it?” Seokmin’s voice reflected his expression: cold, miserable and detached.

He shook his head. “Letting his body fight it off is the best way. If something comes up in his blood I’ll let you know and give you more instructions. Until then, he needs TLC.”

“I can do that,” he bridled, turning his cold expression to the boy in the bed.

“It’s just a flu, sir,” the doctor muttered. “It’s not a big deal.”

One look from Seokmin made him flinch.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

The doctor harrumphed a little, stretching. “Sir, I’ve been your personal physician all your life, your father’s before you, and your brother’s too. My father proceeded me as your father’s doctor. I was there when you were brought into this world. I’d like to think I at least know what you look like when you’re worried.”

Seokmin only pursed his lips at that.

“Are you still taking your pills?”

Seokmin sighed. “Yes.”

“Two a day?”

“Yes.”

“Don’t forget to take them. It’s important.” The doctor shuddered. “I wouldn’t like to think what would happen to your health for even a moment if you stopped.”

“I won’t stop.”

“Good. I’ll send these tests to the lab now, so until then…”

Seokmin was friendly enough to see the doctor to the elevator before rushing back to his boyfriend’s bedside, gently wiping wet strands of hair off his forehead. “Soonyoungie… how could you run out of your house that upset when you had a fever… in a thin coat with no scarf… idiot.”

Unfortunately, Soonyoungie was awake and heard him.

“Don’t yell at _me_ when it’s _your_ fault.” He coughed awkwardly, his whole body rankling with it. He turned around to face Seokmin with a flushed face, eyes too tired to glare so much as stare. “Who was the doctor?”

“My personal physician.”

“What did he mean? About your pills?”

“Don’t worry about that. I’ll tell you when you’re better.” Seokmin placed a palm on his boyfriend’s forehead. “You must be tired, so try to get some sleep. I’ll text Mingyu so don’t worry.”

“Are you so sick you need pills?”

“Didn’t I just tell you to go to sleep?”

Soonyoung’s hand was pathetically weak, but when he slapped it on Seokmin’s wrist, it made the man stop anyway. The look Soonyoung had on his face was weak, pathetically weak, but without an ounce of concern for himself. “Seokmi… are you… sick?”

The gangster paused, bent over his boyfriend, frozen for a moment. Then he broke out into a warm smile and leaned in further to press a kiss to Soonyoung’s nose. “I’m not sick,” he whispered gently. “So don’t you be, precious, and go to sleep.”

Soonyoung probably would have protested, if the fever wasn’t robbing him of his consciousness little by little.

 

“It’s not good…”

“What do you mean it’s not good?”

The elderly man on the other end sighed and harrumphed a moment. “Seems you can only ever attract fools who are the same as you. His glucose levels are appalling and all his vitamins and minerals are at their lowest. Some of them are even falling off the scale. Sound like anybody we know?” The doctor let a stern kind of silence fall, and Seokmin could _feel_ him glaring. “How he’s even alive is beyond me, with this kind of read-out… besides that he’s got a minor infection, by the sound of him I’d say it’s probably sinus or respiratory. I’ll be sending over some antibiotics with the vitamins, so make sure he takes them according to what it says on the box. Get him to eat every two or three hours, even if it’s only a little bit of broth or rice. If he can eat something like stew, soup or pizza that’s better since it has more ingredients, but you’ll have to work up to that.”

“C-c’mon doc, it’s not like I don’t know how to take care of a sick person.” Seokmin made a face. “Even I know that much.”

“Lee Seokmin, you could kill a pet rock out of negligence.”

“Can’t you watch what you’re saying a little more?” he scowled. “You know who you’re talking to, right?”

“Oh, poo-hoo. You know I’m turning 80 at the end of this year? If you want to have me killed Lee Seokmin, just do it, I’ve led a full life. You won’t do it, will you? You like me too much. Even if you’re a Mafiosi and you were wearing suits by the time you were nine, you think I’m afraid of a punk like you? You _still_ get a funny look in your eyes if you see a strawberry-flavored lollipop poking out of my bag, so let an old man spout nonsense for a while, alright?”

Seokmin had to crack a grin at that. “Sure, okay. Thank you for the medicine, doc. It’s important that he gets well.”

“You like him more than the skinny one with long hair.”

“Who? Jeo-…? Ah, he doesn’t even work here anymore. But… yes, I like him more. Don’t tell anybody, okay doc?”

“Secret’s safe with me. You know how to avoid STD’s, right, little punk?”

Seokmin’s expression flattened, but not without mercy. “Goodbye, doc,” he ground out from between clenched teeth.

The old man was having a happy little chuckle to himself. “Goodbye, sir.”

 

“Um…”

“Come on, you have to finish what’s in the syringe.”

“It tastes like butt. Not clean butt. Like a butt that’s been fried in oil and then dipped in the sewer and then sea salt and then-”

“Do you want to die?”

“I’m not sure whether that’s supposed to be the alternative to taking this medicine, or whether you’ll shoot me for not obeying.”

“I’ll shoot you with Cupid’s arrow, I’ll shoot you with my love.”

“That’s disgusting. I don’t want to hear that.”

“Why are you so mean?”

“Why does the medicine have to taste like that?”

“You’ll take the medicine, Kwon Soonyoung, or so help me.” Seokmin seemed to drop his defences and facades, giving the boy a sad look. “You really scared me then, for the last two days you’ve been taking antibiotics calmly, why not now?”

“My tastebuds have recovered after being sick, and the first thing you do is assault them.”

“It’s not that bad-”

“If it’s not that bad, you taste it.”

Seokmin glared at the golden liquid in the oral syringe for a moment before gingerly setting it down. “Okay, you can have it later. Do you want more to eat?”

“Can I have my water, please?”

Seokmin hopped to, letting his boyfriend take a long drink before sighing in relief, leaning his head on the boy’s hand. “I was worried, seriously worried… Don’t come out if you’re sick…”

“It’s because you were saying stupid things that stupid people say is why I came out in the first place. Honestly… you think I can read something like that and not get angry?”

Seokmin had to smile, just a little. “It’s stupid, but I’m just a little happy you got angry.”

“You’re an idiot, you know that?”

“What’s with all the verbal abuse, anyway? I thought we were going to be a lovey-dovey couple.” Seokmin sat straight. “You’re really still that angry… won’t you talk to me about it? I’m sorry for making you angry… but I need you to explain to me in more detail.”

“Why would you even _say_ something like that…” Soonyoung glared at the water bottle between his hands. “It was really hurtful… like you didn’t trust me enough to stay faithful.”

Seokmin became quiet. “It wasn’t like that,” he mumbled softly. “You weren’t texting me a lot anymore, coming over, Facetime, even a phonecall… you didn’t seem sick or upset, just tired and bored… at first I thought you were just sad after leaving Jeju but then I began to worry. What if you thought more about our age difference? What if you thought more about being a gangster’s boyfriend? What if I did or said something you found abhorrent, and were just trying to leave me in a kind way… you’d be kind about it for sure…”

“…you know, Mingyu’s right about you.”

“Eh? He is?”

“Yeah, he says the only thing you have between your ears is cobwebs.”

Seokmin scowled. “That’s not very nice.”

“How much of an idiot are you going to continue to be? Things like age and the mafia, haven’t I told you a thousand times it doesn’t matter to me anymore?” Soonyoung scowled like a petulant child, arms crossed over his chest. “Don’t think I’d break up with you over trivial stuff. You’d have to do something truly horrific to make me break up with you. Idiot.”

Seokmin wasn’t quite happy, but he was placated – he pulled away one of Soonyoung’s hands to play with his fingers, tapping each against his lips quietly for a while before answering. “Then… may I ask… why you avoided my texts so much?”

Soonyoung’s jaw shut with a clicking sound suddenly as he looked away. “I didn’t avoid them.”

“Soonyoung, don’t lie please. I’ve… been very scared, and dejected lately. Even at my age, can’t I ask for reassurance?”

“I love you.”

“ _Buuuuut?_ ”

Soonyoung scowled into the distance for a moment. “I didn’t want to meet until I looked better.”

“Hm? Looked better?”

“I’ve been on a protein diet, and I’ve been to the gym every day after school.”

“… _why_ , exactly?”

“So you’ll think I’m hot again, of course.” Soonyoung gave him an honest, wide-eyed look. “I’ve also been using creams and gels on the scars, so they’ve been clearing up really well. Especially the burn marks. So… I… I was hoping, with a few more weeks… my body wouldn’t be so gross to you anymore, and maybe you’d like it again.”

Seokmin was stunned into silence.

“Of course, that was unfair, selfish and unthoughtful of me. Of course I can still give you plenty of blowjobs in the meantime so you can still be fulfilled without having to look at my body.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, we need to backtrack a bit.” Seokmin glared. “What do you mean by _gross to me **anymore**_?”

“That’s what you said, isn’t it? In Jeju? It was obvious when you said it your whole face got dark. It repulses you. That’s okay though. I can fix it! I’ve been wondering though – how much muscle you like. Whether it’s lean muscles or washboard abs or super-duper thick gorilla kind of-”

“Backtrack,” Seokmin barked, suddenly standing up. His fingers twitched nervously by his sides for a moment as he seemed frozen – he took a jittery step to the side before gasping a little and sitting back down, head in his hands suddenly. “Give me a moment.”

Soonyoung watched him with a vague sense of horror.

“You thought. I meant. I don’t like your body.”

“That’s _literally_ what you said,” he pointed out.

“No. That’s not what I –” Seokmin took a deep, _deep_ breath. “Okay. Let me. Let me take this rationally.”

Soonyoung waited.

“What I meant back then – what I meant was that it was hard to let myself be with you when you were so hurt, still had scars and bruises, all of which were my fault. By all rights, I shouldn’t be allowed to stay with you at all after subjecting you that. It’s haunting. The idea that despite those sins, you’ll still allow me to have you… just how broken are you inside? I had those kinds of thoughts. That’s what I meant. Your body is precious to me, Kwon Soonyoung. It’s perfect. You thought I meant that I didn’t want to… anymore?”

“You specifically said you didn’t want to see it anymore.”

“I meant the scars, not _you_. Of course I want to… make you feel good. Have sex. Have _all_ the sex. Love your body the way it should be loved. I just wish I wasn’t guilty of putting you in harm’s way, and I’m always reminded of it… but that has nothing to do with _you_.”

Soonyoung’s arms crossed around his body a moment, unsatisfied.

“I’m not kidding, Soonyoung. You’re perfect to me. It’s my own guilt that made me say those things.”

“You don’t think I’m too fat?”

“… _no?!_ Who says you’re too fat?” Soonyoung couldn’t answer that, but Seokmin got the message anyway: it was the short, uncomfortable silence that proved Jeonghan’s involvement. The thought darkened Seokmin’s expression for a few long minutes, creeping up and squeezing his chest tightly. Slowly, he tried to divert himself. “I see. Well, listen to me Kwon Soonyoung. First of all, you’re not too fat. You’ve gotten really skinny since we got to Jeju in the first place. I was worried back then you were sick or something, this was what you were thinking?”

“I-I thought, maybe if I bulked up and got hot, you wouldn’t feel that way. I didn’t want to make you feel bad when I wanted sex or something… I got really anxious that if I didn’t meet requirements I’d become… _obsolete.”_ He pulled his knees up, curling his arms around them. “Even if not… I want you to enjoy sex, too… there was something really hot about having you idolize me in bed… you liked looking at me so I was worried if…”

A silence hung in the air for a moment.

“Soonie… you were worried that I would…” And then he was leaning in, kissing Soonyoung over and over – warmly, happily, but with an intense passion that seemed to be trying to convey an encrypted message. When Seokmin finally stopped his assault he was already on the bed with his boyfriend, hovering over him. He gently took Soonyoung’s face between his hands. “Are you listening? Is the man who lives inside this head listening to me?”

“I’m listening,” he whispered in shock.

“I _love_ you. I _love_ you, Kwon Soonyoung. I’m _in love with you_. Do you understand? Do you hear me? No matter what happens, you are the love of my life. This is it for me. You’re it. There won’t be another. Ever. You’re it. No matter if your body is like a body builder’s, or if you weigh 200 kilograms, or when you get old, wrinkly and saggy, do you hear me? I will _always_ love you, and I will _always_ love your body, no matter what, because your body is keeping you alive. I _love_ you. I don’t know how else to explain this to you. I love you so much. Please accept this as the truth.”

Soonyoung would have cried – would have fallen forward in relief and hugged him – if he wasn’t already being caught up in another intense kiss. Full of passion and warmth and so much love, he felt like he might go to hell for the greed he had for more.

“I love you,” Seokmin whispered in a brief pause between kisses. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“I love you, Kwon Soonyoung. Don’t you understand? From now until the day I die.”

“I love you to-” Soonyoung kissed him back, trying not to laugh too hard with happiness – he simply clung to the man dressed in black, accepting what he was given. “-too.”

Seokmin held him close to his chest. “I’m not the only idiot here, then. You’re an idiot too. We can be idiots together. That okay?”

“’s okay.”

“Now I’m going to do something horrible.”

“What?”

Without another word, Seokmin placed the tip of the syringe into Soonyoung’s mouth and pressed down, releasing the rest of the antibiotics into the boy’s body. “Sorry,” he smiled gently. “I really want you to be healthy from now on.”

Soonyoung briefly entertained the idea of squirting the vile liquid back out onto his boyfriend’s face.

But only briefly.


	28. Chapter 28

“Hey, Tweedledick and Tweedledumbass.”

“Mingyu,” Soonyoung warned. “Stop it now. That’s enough.”

Mingyu didn’t make a single change to his expression.

“I’m sick of you hating everybody around me. Nobody asked for your opinion,” he snapped angrily, straggling through the doorway. “The very least you could do for me is welcome me back to my own apartment.”

Mingyu flinched back, scowling. “What’s wrong with you?”

“I should yell at you next time you get home and call _you_ names, see how you like it.”

“Soonyoung, don’t,” his boyfriend warned.

“Oh, shut up, asshat!” Mingyu gripped his coat, pushing against Seokmin’s shoulder as he left the apartment. “Drop dead for all I care!”

Seokmin and Soonyoung stood in the doorway a moment before the mafia boss closed it gently. “He’ll be back to apologize, don’t worry, Soonie.”

Soonyoung just scowled, hobbling into the living room. “I’m sick of hearing it. If it’s not you he hates, it’s Eyoung. He’s already my best friend, can he not be such a dickhead to everybody else?”

“There, there now. Are you hungry? Want me to make you something?”

“Can we order in fried chicken?”

Seokmin grinned. “I love you.”

“I know.” Soonyoung grinned back. “Can you stay over tonight?”

“Fraid not, babe. I have to work tonight.”

“Stupid mafia boss gotta work 24/7 and won’t share his position as head…” Soonyoung scowled, flopping onto the sofa beside his boyfriend. “Can’t you make it up to me?”

“And how will I do that?” Seokmin grinned at him, leaning in to peck his forehead. “What would my prince like the most?”

“Hmmm…”

“Yes?”

“You should probably love me a lot.”

“Already do.”

“Then… love me even more.”

Seokmin laughed, cuddling the boy to his chest. “Like this?”

“This is nice.” Soonyoung smiled happily to himself. “I like this.”

“Good.” Seokmin held him for a moment. “Soonyoung?”

“Yes?”

“Is it silly for me to get insecure? I mean in our relationship.”

Soonyoung thought about it, snuggling even closer until he was in his boyfriend’s lap. “Hmm… I guess not? I think everybody gets insecure in their relationships. It depends on what you’re insecure about though. If it’s our age difference, stop being insecure about it.”

“I’m old enough to be your _father_ ,” he whispered in horror.

“And hot enough to be my _daddy_.”

“I’m serious, here.”

Soonyoung sighed, straightening up. “Look, Seokmin, I don’t know what to tell you. Your age doesn’t bother me. You look ten years younger than you are, you have the sexual stamina of… I don’t know, _Zeus_ , and you don’t act or sound old. I’m _happy_ when I’m with you. There are more important aspects of you that are to be taken into account, and _all_ of them trump your age. Well, except the bit where you blow people’s brains out. But hey, I’m ready to be part of the mafia when you say so, so big deal.”

Seokmin sighed deeply.

“Just stop killing people in carpeted rooms. Blood is harder to get out of carpet than puke is, and puke’s a bitch to get out of carpet. Trust me, I know.”

Seokmin shook his head, but he was smiling. “How are you so calm about this stuff? Have I corrupted you? The day you ran away, you were so…”

“Well _yeah_ , the guy who regularly was sticking his fingers up my ass had me go out for dinner so he could kill a dude. At least be up front about your intentions.”

Seokmin choked and spluttered over his chuckle for a moment before squeezing Soonyoung tighter. “You don’t feel like I’m a cradle-robber?”

“I do _not_. What _you_ don’t seem to understand here is that I am a fully grown adult, I know what I’m doing, and I am enjoying a sexual and romantic relationship with you in and of my own free will. Believe me, if I didn’t want to be here, I _wouldn’t_ be. Or, well, you. Since this is _my_ apartment and all.”

He sighed. “Right.”

“ _I_ want _you_ , don’t think you’re the only one with desires in this relationship. You want my body? Surprise asshole, I want yours too.”                                                                  

The idea made his eyes soften a little. “I want your kisses, too.”

“I want yours as well.”

“What if I want your embrace?”

“I’ll give it to you.”

“What if I want the warmth of your body when I wake up in the morning?”

“Then I’ll give it to you.”

“…what if I want your body and soul to myself? What if I don’t want to share you?”

“Uh, back up sir, are you under the impression that _I_ am going to be sharing _you_ with anybody in the foreseeable future? Cause if you are, then we might need to make this a _really_ deep talk about our relationship.”

Seokmin laughed again, nuzzling Soonyoung’s hair. “I love you. Thank you for reminding me to live in reality and not a scary shadow world of insecurities.”

“ _Thaaaat’s_ better.” Soonyoung elected to ignore that he was probably still living in that world. “Do you think we have time for a quick suck before the delivery guy gets here?”

“I’d seriously doubt it.”

“Why?”

The doorbell rang and Soonyoung wasn’t sure whether he was supposed to be elated, because _food_ , or disappointed that he didn’t get to enjoy a blowjob: either way, when he was presented with the mass amounts of chicken Seokmin put on the table, he dug in, enraptured.

“After this, can we go visit your brother?”

“My brother?” Seokmin froze, chicken half-chewed in his mouth. “Why?”

“…cause he’s my boyfriend’s _brother_?” Soonyoung wiped his fingers on a napkin. “Doesn’t he get lonely? I know you don’t visit a lot because the other mafia will notice, but I’d like to visit him. I bought him a keyring when we were at that stall at the market in Jeju. You know, the shark one?”

“He’ll like that.” Seokmin stared into the distance for a while. “I don’t see why we can’t go. I didn’t think it would be something you wanted to do.”

“If it makes you sad, we don’t have to.”

“It doesn’t make me sad. It makes me kind of happy.”

Soonyoung sat back on the couch, munching happily on his chicken. “Can I ask you a rude and deeply personal question?”

Seokmin mirrored him. “Shoot.”

“Our age difference isn’t even as big as the age difference between you and Chan.”

Seokmin studied the chicken in his hands for a moment. “Mom had me when she was nineteen. She and my dad weren’t married – they married when I was ten. They made me wear a tux and smile in photographs, it was the worst day of my life. She thought she had passed a quiet, eh, what do you call that thing when women can’t have babies anymore?”

“Dunno,” Soonyoung answered, swallowing a mouthful. “Go on.”

“Well anyway, then she got pregnant, and she wasn’t particularly _old_ to be having kids, but it was ill-advised at best. See she thought she could do all she wanted after menopause – MENOPAUSE! That’s the word.” Seokmin looked very satisfied with himself for a moment before returning to his narrative. “But cause she was a little older she had a bunch of complications. I didn’t ask the gory details but nobody seemed really worried about any of it and our faction was _really_ starting to take off and bring in real money. Mom died like five days after Chan was born. Her whole body just shut off. It was crap.”

Even though the story had been conveyed in a very matter-of-fact kind of way, it still made Soonyoung a little quiet. “I’m sorry. You’ve had a shit time.”

“That’s alright, ‘s not that bad. I was twenty-one when Chan was born, so it’s not like I had any responsibilities as a kid.” Seokmin gave his boyfriend a strange look at that for a moment. “I don’t think I would have had the courage as a young boy to do what you did for your brother.”

“Yeah, you would have. You wouldn’t have a choice. That’s how big brothers are.”

“Got that right.” Seokmin picked up another drumstick. “Anyway, dad died seven years ago so it’s just me and Chan now. That’s okay. He had a lot to work through though. Dad had a hard time looking at him. Reminded him of mom too much.”

“I would have thought the age gap would have made you half-brothers, like Sam and me.”

“Nope, full blood relatives. But the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.” He nodded at Soonyoung. “Many a careless boy wouldn’t have taken care of what was merely a half-brother.”

“Man, I was _way_ too young to understand the significance of half- _anything_. No big deal.”

“We have really fucked up lives, Kwon Soonyoung. Both of us.”

“Got that right.”

“Unromantic.”

“Yup.”

“Bother you?”

“Nah, relationships don’t have to be romantic _all_ the time, what a pain that would be. We have our special moments, that’s good enough for me. Being able to pig out on chicken with our feet on the couch like this is good too. I like seeing this side of you and just… _chilling_. It’s part of a healthy relationship, right?”

“Yup.” Seokmin grabbed a napkin and cleaned his face off, with the help of minor directions from his boyfriend. “By the way, I want you to know I’ve hidden a present for you somewhere in your living room.”

“A present? For me?” Soonyoung wiped his hands and mouth begrudgingly, not _entirely_ finished his meal.

“You’ll have to find it.”

“I hope you didn’t go off spending lots of money.” He made a groaning sound as he hoisted about ten pounds of chicken and 160 pounds of Soonyoung off his ass to search between the chicken boxes first, and then in other nooks and crannies of the room. “You’ll spoil me and give me a complex.”

“I didn’t spend a lot of money.”

Soonyoung spent a few minutes searching before getting more and more annoyed. “What type of present is it? It’s gotta be _tiny_ or I would have found it by now.”

“It’s not tiny! It’s huge! Huge I tell you!”

Soonyoung straightened up from a kneeling position, and got up about half-way before freezing mid-air. “Seokmin.”

“…yes?”

“…have you been watching _The Moon That Embraces The Sun_ again?”

“… _noooooo_ …”

“Seokmin.”

“Okay, fine. I thought it was cute. I thought you’d appreciate it, even if it’s from a drama.”

“Dork.” He stood straight, stretching a little. “Fine. I’m coming over to get my present, which is your love. Be prepared.”

Seokmin opened his arms wide, and Soonyoung barrelled into him to clasp him in a hug. “I love you, Soonie.”

“I love you too. Thank you for the precious gift of your heart.”

“Actually, the King gives her _his all_ in the drama.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, so you can have all of me, if you like.”

“Well… there is _one_ part of you I _really_ want…”

“What’s that?”

Without another word Soonyoung moved, sliding around his boyfriend until he sat precariously perched on Seokmin’s lap, legs crossing behind his back. “I’m going to fuck myself on you,” he smirked, leaning in until he was barely an inch away. “I’m going to put on a show and fuck myself, and you’re going to watch me do it.”

“I-…” Seokmin didn’t speak for a moment, enraptured by the look in Soonyoung’s eyes. “-am? Wh-what if…”

“What if what?” Soonyoung never broke eye contact as he slowly began to grind on Seokmin’s lap, slowly rolling his hips to and fro. He dropped his jaw a little the more he worked on his boyfriend, letting himself make breathy noises.

“What if… oh _fuck_.”

“It’s been too _long_ ,” Soonyoung drawled, gently shifting his hips over and over. “Since we had a good fuck.”

“Soonyoung…”

“Yes, daddy?” Soonyoung looked down at him with lust-hazed eyes as he continued to rut. “…can I… get you something?”

Seokmin’s hands demanded obedience, pulling him in for a hot, sloppy kiss: within moments Soonyoung was groaning, pressing his erection against Seokmin’s hips fervently. “Fuck, _daddy_ , kiss me more.”

There was so much tongue, so much _heat_ in his mouth, that Soonyoung never wanted to stop: there was a hand on the back of his neck, pulling him in, and another on his ass, squeezing him hard. It simply made him grind harder, moan louder, want more. “Seokmin, ah _fuck_ , can we fuck right here? Let’s not even _move_.”

“ _Okay_ ,” came the breathless reply.

Soonyoung broke away only for a moment to unclasp Seokmin’s pants when he was stopped, face brought up with one hand.

“Before we fuck, you’re going to ride yourself to completion like this.”

“W-what?”

Seokmin’s fingers were already unbuttoning his jeans. “I’m going to hold your delicious, filthy little cock baby, and you’re going to ride on my lap like a good boy until you cum all over yourself.”

“But _daddy_ I’m already so near I-”

The massive slap against his ass made him stop, shaking where he sat as Seokmin took a sturdy hold of his cock: he simply watched his boyfriend for a moment before rutting up into his hand, and simply falling apart at the sensation. “Ah, fu-fuck, _fuck_ daddy I-”

Seokmin pulled him in, chest to chest, whispering in his ear, stroking his hair with his free hand. “I love you, baby,” he growled gently, tweaking Soonyoung’s ear a moment. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” Soonyoung panted, still rutting his hips over and over. “F-fuck, Seokmin I-”

“I love you.” Seokmin’s tongue slid over his earlobe, breath hot, hands making the slightest of movements. “I love you so much, Kwon Soonyoung.”

Soonyoung keened softly, moaning into his lover’s ear. “I-I’m gonna… F-fuck, it’s been too long…”

“Go on,” came the comforting whisper. “Thigh-ride yourself dry. Orgasm. I want to feel it in my hand.”

Soonyoung obeyed readily, coming in short spurts that had him whining, crying out with pleasure: Seokmin gently pumped him through it, letting out a soft sigh of his own. “Ah, so much…”

The words made the architect come again, so Seokmin buried himself in his lover’s face and kept whispering, edging him on. “Cum more… with such a pretty, cute face… you sound so slutty… so desperate… ah again? How dirty Soonie… are you enjoying it? You’re trembling all over… is my voice that hot? Did you need it this badly?”

Soonyoung panted hard, leaning on Seokmin’s shoulder. “D…done… I’m done…”

“I love you.” Seokmin’s sweet confessions, over and over, were both nurturing and grounding at the same time. “I love you, my Knight on White Horse. I love you so much. I love playing with your hair, looking into your eyes, hearing your voice, getting scolded. I love you. Everything that makes you you is precious to me.”

Soonyoung closed his eyes as Seokmin searched for tissues and cleaned him up, still softly cooing sweet words into his ear. “I love you so much, you know.”

“I love you too.” He glanced up. “Should we, uh… continue this party at your place?”

Seokmin raised an eyebrow. “You can still go, after that?”

“For you? Of course. Besides, it’ll take a while before we get to your place.”

“You regenerate quickly.”

“Am I a video game character? Besides, your dick pops back up in seconds.”

“Not _seconds._ ”

“Unnaturally quickly.”

“Are you sure you want to go?”

“…promise to use handcuffs?”

Seokmin’s eyes suddenly gained a funny glint. “ _Fuck_ yes.”

 

The two were ready to go in seconds, practically running down the street to where Soonyoung’s bike was parked: but within moments, adrenaline began to rush a different way as they skidded to a stop.

“ _Shit_ ,” Seokmin broke, pressing his back to Soonyoung’s. “Surrounded.”

It took Soonyoung a moment to notice, but there was no denying it. Who knew Seoul housed this many gorillas _this size_? And who could have guessed they would all be lying in wait around the corner from his house, closing in, ready to pounce on him?

There was one skinny one. “Ah, we caught him _and_ his owner.”

He probably would have continued talking if Seokmin hadn’t broken his nose immediately.

“You can _fight_?!”

“How’d you think I-”

“ _Get them_.”

It was utter chaos – Soonyoung could barely manage to keep abreast of having anybody put their arms around him. Hit somebody in the face there, kidney jab there, kick his shin and step back on his Achilles, a swift hand to the hamstring – until he almost knocked Seokmin’s lights out. The two stared at each other for a moment, gripping each other, both panting, surrounded by groaning figures.

“We gotta get out of here.”

“Hop on.” Soonyoung was already igniting the engine and within moments they were gone, speeding through the streets.

“We’re being followed,” Seokmin growled in his ear.

“Hang on.” Soonyoung’s body rankled, ignoring a stabbing pain his side, moving forward a little. “You got any problems with illegal driving?”

“By my guest.”

“Hold on tight.”

Seokmin’s arms barely crossed over Soonyoung’s torso before the architect kicked his bike into high gear and left the traffic lights behind in a cloud of dust.


	29. Chapter 29 [Bonus Chapter: We'll Always Have Tokyo, Part 2]

It’s day twelve, and I’m basically living in paradise. It’s day twelve since I met the stray, homeless cat in the café and took him home. It’s been twelve great days.

Jeonghan is up for literally _anything._ I could suggest skydiving off the Mars Rover and he’d probably just shrug happily. He’s always got a smile for me, too – except that one night when we disagreed on where to go for noodles – and within two weeks, it’s like we’ve known each other our whole lives.

But it’s twelve days, and I can’t help but curious. Jeonghan doesn’t volunteer information about himself or his life. And I know, I know – I shouldn’t pry into other people’s beeswax. But it’s kind of killing me, not knowing anything about him. I want to understand the kitten. And most of all, I wonder…

“Jeonghan, how long will you be in Japan for?”

He looks up at me in surprise at the question, but there’s no hostility in his eyes. “Um, I guess I never thought about it. I, uh… I guess that’s up to me. To be honest, if I left, I’m not sure where I’d go to.”

“You couldn’t go back to Korea?”

“…it’s a difficult situation. It’s not that I _can’t_ go back, I’m just…” He drops the towel off his hair around his neck and stares at his hands. “… _lost_.”

I bite my lip. _Okay, I’ve pushed him far enough. I should let go now._ “You want to talk about it?” _Damn it, me! Stop that! For heaven’s sake!_

To my surprise, Jeonghan comes to sit on the edge of the bed beside me, leering over at the ground. “It’s not really a nice story. And I probably shouldn’t go into details. Let’s just say… I had a good career going at one point. Some people came by and… ruined it. Collapsed me. I was staring the poverty line in the face, actually. Then somebody came and saved me, revived my career in a… _singular_ kind of way. His organization wasn’t… _good_ , but I was safe and taken care of.” Jeonghan’s hand brushes over his left arm faintly, as if he isn’t aware he’s doing it. It’s not the first time I notice the tattoos on him, nor the fact that they have been sliced through and scarred over, but I never asked. “Then _another_ person came along and snatched him away as well. And I was… left alone again. I got in with the wrong people, made mistakes – stupid mistakes, I should have known not to trust anybody anymore. But after those mistakes, I was left loose again. I just came here to… _get away_ from it all. Clear my head. Come up with a new strategy.”

“I see,” I lie.

He smiles at me, a little self-pitying. “It’s alright. I’ll be alright. I’m just not sure where to go from here. Originally I wanted to get my own back at the first people who ruined my career and reputation. I think… I still want that. Revenge. I’m just not entirely sure how to go about it.” He looks at me, a little scared. “Is that terrible of me? Am I… am I a bad person for wanting that?”

I sigh deeply. Jeonghan has deeper issues than I thought. I curl up, knees tucked under my chin. “Not sure,” I say slowly. “I think… probably, yeah. Revenge never works out, I think. But at the same time… I can’t imagine somebody like you ever being that vicious. You’re so genuine and… I don’t know, _sweet_ , Jeonghan. You’re like an angel. The people who hurt you must have done a _lot_ of damage, huh?”

He frowns. “You can’t imagine me like that?”

“No way. You’re too gentle.”

Jeonghan turns away, but leans over until he’s resting his temple on my shoulder. “Thank you,” he mumbles in a small voice.

“Eh?”

“For thinking so highly of me.” He looks up. “I don’t think I’ve ever met somebody like you, Jisoo.”

Looking down at Jeonghan’s face is breathtaking. No matter that I see him all day every day. I can’t get used to it. “I’ve never met anybody like you, either.”

He goes a little soft-looking again. “You’re dangerous.”

“...what’s that supposed to mean?”

He sighs and closes his eyes a moment. “Even like this, I can still see your eyes. Big, round, dark eyes that twinkle like stars. It’s really dangerous. I can hear your voice even when you’re not talking. It’s so dangerous. What if one of these days, I lose my cool… and I start coveting more of you? I’m so close to coveting you, Hong Jisoo.”

If you think in twelve days the blood vessels in my cheeks have become immune to the things the handsome angel says, you’d be wrong.

“W-what’s that su-”

“Being close to you is dangerous. Learning what makes you smile so prettily, what makes your eyes twinkle like that. I don’t want to know your phone number, or your family. How much can I learn about you before I simply… take you away? You’ve got an addictive personality. It’s really hard not to fall for you.”

_Okay, once more, for the people in the back… **what do you say to that?!?!?!**_

“I’m sorry?”

He bursts out in giggles, so that was obviously the wrong thing to say. “You don’t have to be sorry,” he smiles, pulling away.

I can only grip his hand just in time. “Um. Ju-just for the record. It’s hard not to fall for you, too.”

_I have no idea what that is supposed to mean myself, so I doubt Jeonghan will understand, but I guess this is how I talk now. Like an idiot._

Jeonghan gives me a grim, thin-lipped kind of smile. “That’s even more dangerous. I don’t think I can give up my ambition for revenge, Jisoo. Even if it makes me a bad person, if it makes me a criminal or a sinner, even if I’m doomed for all eternity, I can’t give it up. I’ve gone too far. I don’t… I don’t want to get you involved in it. Somebody like you shouldn’t have to live in such pain.”

I look up, only because I understand what he means. _We can’t really be together._ “And somebody like you wouldn’t be able to live with me. Not looking after my family and having a boring, stay-at-home translating job. You’d die of boredom.”

He stares at our hands, holding each other. “Where does that leave us?”

“…I guess it leaves us in a hotel room in Tokyo. I have another eighteen days before I leave. Like you said… we probably shouldn’t exchange details that come too close, or are too personal. So… here we are. In a hotel room in Tokyo. Does that… is that… is… can I… ask you to spend my eighteen days with me regardless? It’s selfish, but… if eighteen days is all we have, I want to use them wisely. Even if I can’t know too much… I want to know as much about Jeonghan as possible. Is that… bad?”

Jeonghan smiles funny, sitting back down. “You’re really confusing me. I thought you weren’t interested in me.”

“Just because I won’t take advantage of you doesn’t mean I’m not interested in you as a person.” I nudge him a little. “I’m just not interested in _using_ you. I really like you. I want to have a good time with you.”

He leans his head on my shoulder again. “I’m really not used to that kind of treatment. I feel a bit spoilt.”

“Things are really bad if something that simple and normal is spoiling you.”

“Still is, though.”

I can’t help but put an arm around the kitten. “Okay then. Let me spoil you.”

 

“You don’t ever fucking _stop_ , do you?”

I’m out of breath myself. “Okay, I admit, we probably did a bit _too much_ walking. Just a bit.”

“Jeez, calm down.” We’re both flopped on the bed like a couple of corpses, but he’s got enough energy to lamely fling a hand on my chest in a pathetic attempt to hit me. “Tomorrow let’s lie in and go shopping, or something equally harmless.”

“Fine.”

“Thank God.”

We slowly get ready for bed, and once the lights are out, Jeonghan usually doesn’t speak. He usually sleeps immediately – with a freakish quickness.

Tonight is different.

“Jisoo?”

“Mm?”

“…can… I maybe cuddle you?” He barely lets a pause fall. “I mean, you can say no, I don’t want to be a creep or anything, you can totally-”

I twist slowly under the covers and silently put my arms around his torso. “M-hm.”

He freezes for a few seconds and then responds, hugging me back softly. “Thank you,” he whispers. “Jisoo.”

 

“Well, this is new.”

It’s been twenty days since I met Yoon Jeonghan. This is the first time I’ve clung to him, wet and mostly naked.

“B-bu-bu-bu-bu-”

He looks at me in wonder. “Are you trying to say there’s a bug in the shower?”

I just nod.

“Oh my _God._ ” He walks away confidently and several moments later there’s the sound of the toilet flushing. “All done,” he declares, returning.

“Bugs don’t necessarily drown, they can crawl back out of the toilet you know,” I mumble, trying to keep my towel around me.

“That’s why I killed it first.”

“Did you clean your hands?”

“I did.”

I can’t help but shudder anyway, from top to toe for a good few seconds.

“Done?”

“Y-yeah.” I finally find the ability to blush – hard. “Eh, I guess I can go finish then…”

I should know better than to try. Before I know it, Jeonghan has me trapped. “Wait.”

 _Uh-oh_.

“You can’t just…” For some reason, Jeonghan goes pink – a cute flush across his face. “No, wait. Go. You’d better go before I do something inappropriate.”

I almost make it all the way to the bathroom door. _Almost._ Then, for some reason, I turn back. “Y-you know, I wouldn’t… hate it. Inappropriate. Something.”

He glares at me from the side of his eye. “Don’t tease me, Hong Jisoo,” he growls out, his voice clearly tight and tense. “I’ll take you seriously.”

I pull a towel off a chair and fluff my hair with it a little so I’m not dripping on the carpet. “So? Take me seriously then.”

He turns completely towards me. “Are you saying…?” He stares at me for a moment before breaking out in a chuckle, and it’s utterly embarrassing.

“Nevermind.” I turn instantly, but he catches me before I can leave.

“No, sorry, I didn’t mean to laugh. You just looked so… _I’m putting on my brave face on right now_ , you know?” Jeonghan’s arms snake around my naked waist, his lips at my ear. “You look truly seductive like this. Like you’re serving yourself up on a silver platter. If you’re not careful, Jisoo, I’ll devour you.”

There’s something about him in my ear that makes me melt; makes my insides tremble, my knees weak.

“Ah, Jisoo…” His lips brush against my ear, fingers slowly trailing up over my skin. “You smell so nice… _fuck._ ”

I have to concentrate on breathing. If I don’t, I think I might forget, and pass out from asphyxiation.

“Should we take this to the bed?” I don’t get a chance to answer: he gently leads me backwards until I’m on the bed and he’s hovering over me.

For some reason I expected him to look lewd. But he looks soft. Jeonghan looks so soft. He’s got a small smile on his lips, but it’s a sweet one.

Jeonghan is still Jeonghan, a soft and gentle angel, even when I let all the defences down.

“Do you think it will ruin everything?” I whisper in fear. “If we…?”

He pauses to think about it. “…we can’t be together after Tokyo,” he reminds me gently. “I don’t think we’ll ever see each other again after this. I don’t think it will ruin Tokyo, but it might hurt later. The memories, I mean. It’s up to you. I won’t start unless you tell me to.”

I have to work to get rid of the lump in my throat at that. I need to focus on the here and now. “Do you… do you feel… something for me?”

Jeonghan looks at me very softly now, as if his eyes are moonlight. He picks up a hand to gently brush it across my cheek in the sweetest gesture. “I’m falling in love with you, Hong Jisoo. I really am.”

That’s all I ever really needed. “Then make love to me.”

He hesitates a little more. “I’ve never… _made love_ to anybody. I’ve always just… fucked around.”

“…then, do you not want to?”

He avoids my eyes for a moment before staring straight at me. “No. I want to love you completely. If anything in my life should be perfect… if there’ll ever be a single moment I can look back at that was pure… this is it.”

“Good.” I lean in to whisper. “Be gentle on my virgin skin, hm?"

 

“… _that_ was nice,” he whispers.

“Agreed,” I gasp back, still catching my breath.

“Are you okay?”

I just nod quickly.

He sits up against the headboard and pulls out a packet of cigarettes, lighting one up. “Ah, fuck. Feels good.” His fingers gently brush through my hair, and somehow, the feeling is warm. “Are you sure you’re not sore?”

“ _No_ ,” I whisper back.

He chuckles and presses his fingers tip his lips fist before pressing them against my forehead. “You’ll be okay. I was gentle.”

I almost retort _tell that to my stomach ‘cause that’s how far you went up_ , but I manage to stop myself in time. I just glance up to the handsome man in my bed as my breath slows down. I look at his face, slowly shrouding itself in a cloud of smoke.

All I can think of is _he’s right_. After Tokyo we won’t meet again. It’s obvious. I’ll go back to Jeju, and he’ll go exact revenge on somebody.

“Jisoo? Can I ask a favor?”

“Sure.” I glance up again.

“…If you, uh, ever hear about me… like, in the news or something… do you think, maybe once… you might be able to come visit me?”

I break out into a smile. “I think that’s very plausible, yes. I’ll come visit you.”

“Even if I’m in jail?”

I scowl a little. I don’t like the subtle reminders he gives that he’s not on the right side of the law, reminders that his tattoos aren’t innocent, reminders that somehow, in some way, my stray kitten is dangerous. At the same time, I wouldn’t deny him this promise. “…sure, I guess. Do you think you’d _want_ to see me? If you were in jail, I mean. If I were in jail, I wouldn’t want _you_ to see _me_. I’d be too embarrassed. But then again, if I were in jail, it’d probably be for something dumb. Like jaywalking.” I snort to myself happily, shifting on the bed a little.

Jeonghan grins down at me, petting his cigarette into the ash tray. “I don’t mind. I wouldn’t be embarrassed. To be honest, if I go, I’ll be going for murder.”

I shudder at the idea, but it still isn’t _real_ to me. The idea that Jeonghan is dangerous. The notion that he could hurt somebody. He’s been nothing but a gentleman to me. He’s soft and gentle and happy and kind. He’s been hurt, but despite that, he’s a gentleman to the core.

“Don’t kill people,” I whisper gently. “Please.”

“No promises.”

“ _Try._ ”

“Fine, I’ll try.”

I end up smiling goofily at the ceiling. “Okay. Then I’ll come.”

He looks at me a moment before putting his cigarette out and shuffling down the bed again to pour a palm over my cheek. “This little Jisoo. Who could have known how much I would fall for you?”

“I’m not little,” I scowl.

“No, you’re not.” He smiles at me dotingly, as if he’s enthralled by my boring face that looks too much like a girl’s. “You’re perfect. My perfect Jisoo. How is it? Your virgin skin.”

“It’s been deflowered.” I grin, pulling him in closer for a sweet kiss. “Is it bad? I’m kind of old to be a virgin.”

“How old are you?”

“Thirty-one.”

He pauses, hovering over me. “What, really? I thought you were like… mid-twenties.”

“Do I look that young?”

“You do.”

“You look mid-twenties, too, though.”

“I’m thirty-four.”

 _“Really?_ ” I frown. “You’re older than me? Figures.”

“Why?”

“Nobody this gorgeous could be younger than me.”

Jeonghan laughs, smiling prettily at me all the time. “You’re too cute.”

I could look at him forever. Not for any one reason, I guess. But when Jeonghan smiles like that at me, he’s calm. He’s soft. Like his soul is happy. And I guess that makes me happy, too. I could stare at the curve of his cheeks or the glisten in his eyes for days and never be satisfied, never have enough of him.

It’s a little pathetic, at my age, but since I can’t help it, I’ve elected to ignore that.

“That’s okay.” Jeonghan smiles at me again, leaning in to press tiny, hot peppered kisses over my cheeks. “I’m kind of glad I got to be your first. That means I’m special, right? I like it. Being special to you.”

“You’ve always been special,” I murmur, pulling him in for a proper kiss. “Ah, this is nice. Lying around. Kissing you lots.”

“I agree.”

“We should get up and go somewhere though.” I squirm a little. “I’ll need another shower.”

He gives me a funny look. “ _Or…_ we could stay here and fuck all day.”

“We can’t do that!” I laugh.

“Why not?”

And the look he gives me starts me thinking… _Why not, indeed?_

 

If my chest could hurt any less, that would be great, but it’s not going to do that. I get the feeling it’s not going to do that for a long, long time.

After checking in I go stand by him again, where he’s standing with my carry-on luggage. He simply receives me with open arms happily, rubbing my back a little. “Don’t look so sad,” he mumbles in my ear. “It’s not a cute look.”

I sniffle anyway. “I don’t want to…”

He hugs me a little tighter for a moment before letting me go. “There now, it’s okay.”

“I still have an hour,” I plead. “Come drink coffee with me? Please? Please, Jeonghan?”

He nods silently and simply takes me to the nearest in-airport café, orders my coffee and sits to drink with me. He doesn’t talk much and I wonder whether he feels the same way I do – abysmal and hurt – or whether he’s actually okay. I wonder whether the last thirty days have been as magical for him as they were for me. I wonder whether Yoon Jeonghan will forget me when I’m gone, like a puff of smoke.

“Jisoo… if I said something very painful right now… would you hate me?”

I allow him to grip my hand, and then I grip his back. “No.”

“…I love you.”

I blush, hard. It’s the first time he’s ever confessed it straight out like that.

“Thank you. I love you too.”

“Doesn’t that just make all this so much worse?” He kicks the foot of the bench we’re sitting on angrily. “Doesn’t it just make it hurt more? It just makes all of this _crap_ because you’re going to board that plane and leave _forever_. I didn’t think falling in love was a real thing, and now that I’ve gone and done it myself, I can’t have it. I thought soul mates were supposed to have a happy ending. And we _can’t_ be together, and we _can’t_ exchange numbers. I’m going to have to let you go properly, and I didn’t think it would hurt this much. This sucks.”

I bark out a small laugh, putting my arms around him. “I’m sorry it sucks so much.”

He hugs me back, mellowing instantly. “Not your fault, I guess.”

“Besides… no matter what, we’ll always have Tokyo.”

“Yeah.” He looks up at the ceiling. “We’ll always have Tokyo.”

 

 _If I ever meet you again,_ I think as I walk through the gate with my hand on my heart, _I’ll never tell you how hard I’m crying as I walk away from you right now._


	30. Chapter 30

 “If I had to swim from one side of Seoul…. to the other… through molasses… it wouldn’t have taken that long. They really weren’t gonna give up, huh?”

Soonyoung shook his head, still panting hard from the adrenaline rush, splayed out on the couch beside his boyfriend. “I thought I was gonna be chased all the way to China.”

“You did good though, you stuck in there.” Seokmin was panting just as hard. “I can’t believe… you had to drive all the way outside the city… to lose them.”

The two lay there panting for a while more.

Minghao stood awkwardly before putting down his trusty clipboard and going to retrieve two cups of water. “You guys look hungry. Should I order in dinner?”

“ _Yes_ , fuck please. I’m starving.”

Seokmin groaned, straightening up. “Thanks, Hao. Hey is Stoy in yet?”

“He landed this morning, sir, he’s settling into a hotel room and he said he’d be in later.”

“Good.” Seokmin glanced at his boyfriend. “Is Wen still hanging low?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Tell him he might be getting reactivation.”

“I’ll send him a note, sir. What would you like to eat?”

“Carbs,” Soonyoung interrupted. “Give me carbs. Give me noodles and fried food and shit to replace the energy I just spent chasing my way through a fucking truckload of mafia goons.”

Minghao turned to his boss silently.

“You’re the best judge, Hao, just make sure there’s tons. I’m _starving_. You good to eat with us?”

“Yes, sir.”

“You and Stoy, too, make sure there’s enough for four.”

“Yes, sir. Beer?”

“Yeah. Soonie?”

“Beer’s good.”

“Alright sir.”

“Thanks, Hao,” they chorused.

Soonyoung had the good graces to wait until he had shut the door behind him. “You know, this kind of shit wouldn’t keep happening if you’d do what I told you to and make me joint head.”

Seokmin stared at the ceiling for a moment. “I know.”

“You- wait, what?” He turned at the silence. “Did you just… agree with me?”

Seokmin nodded.

“Does that mean…”

“…you make points. Good points. I can’t… I mean… the fact that they were out there, _lying in wait_ for you…”

Soonyoung’s whole face brightened. “Yes!”

Seokmin held a finger to his lips. “Don’t get so carried away. A few addendums and restrictions, if I may? I’m uncomfortable enough admitting you to… it’s dangerous, Soonie. I don’t like this to start off. I’ll make you joint head. Just… let me add restrictions.”

Soonyoung flopped back to the couch sadly, grabbing his water. “There’s always addendums and restrictions. Go on, lay it on me.”

“Number one, if you want to be the joint head of the mafia… you don’t kill anybody.”

Soonyoung raised an eyebrow. “Um, not that I’m complaining, but why is _that_ a stipulation? I thought it was gonna come with the territory. I’ve been psyching myself up to sacrifice my soul to the devil.”

“If we get nabbed, only one of us is going to jail for murder. I’m already fucked on that front. I don’t want to drag you into it.”

Soonyoung sighed, but conceded. “I’m sure I could complain, but I’m not sure how far I’d get.”

“Not that far, I think.”

“Yeah, okay.”

“The second addendum is: you’re not allowed to drop out of University because of me.”

Soonyoung turned to stare at him again.

“Mingyu may have pointed out that… this has been your dream for a long time. I don’t want any associations with me or anybody else from my side of things getting in the way of that. It’s something you want to do right? I can’t stand in the way of that, Soonyoung. You have to become an architect. The best architect the world has ever seen.”

Soonyoung grinned, eventually beginning to laugh a little. “Seokmin?”

“Yes?”

“Thank you.” The glittering in his eyes paralysed his boyfriend a moment. “For taking such good care of me, and caring that much.”

“…n-no problem.” Seokmin blushed, looking away. “Third addendum is Stoy and Wen.”

“The who and the what now?”

“Stoy is a bodyguard. A hulk of a human being. Wen is… well, your Minghao.”

Soonyoung thought about it. “We can’t share Minghao? I love Minghao. He’s adorable.”

Seokmin grappled for his boyfriend’s hand. “Don’t say you love other men, you’ll make me jealous.”

“Well, you can go ahead and _be_ jealous, you punk, cause Minghao’s like a brother to me.”

Seokmin burst out into laughter.

“What’s so funny?”

“Very few people,” he giggled, “could ever call me _punk_ and sound that _cute_ while doing it.”

“Fuck you, I’m not cute.”

“You’re super cute.”

Soonyoung rolled his eyes and gave up with a smile, sliding until he was lying down with his head was in Seokmin’s lap. “So you’re giving me a bodyguard and a secretary?”

“To be honest, Wen could double as both, but I don’t want to pressure him too much. He’s been, uh… _out of the circuit_ for a while.”

“I see.”

“Fourth addendum… and don’t take this the wrong way… but you don’t really _look_ like you’re associated with the mafia, never mind the head.”

“That’s cause all the clothes… that I was made to buy, are all still at the back of my closet. I can start wearing them if you like though. But I’m not coming to see you in a full three-piece black suit like some people!”

“I don’t think you’d look good in a full black suit,” the man in the full black suit grinned back, fingers trailing through Soonyoung’s hair. “You too pretty for austerity.”

“You’re good-looking too, but somehow it suits you.”

“Because I’m a Storm God.”

“If they start calling me Storm Goddess, I’m throwing punches.”

Seokmin chuckled, leaning in to peck his lover on the forehead. “Nobody will call you that.”

“Um, Seokmin. Not to change the subject, but… am I, by any chance, lying on top of your erection?”

“Yeah.”

“… _why_?”

“Why are you lying, or why the erec- okay, okay.” Seokmin grinned at the glare he was being served. “You got me all hyper and then there was all that adrenaline what with being chased… mind you, you look fucking _fantastic_ when you’re fighting. I didn’t know it was possible to look that hot while taking a swing at someone.”

“Don’t get turned on by me punching people, that’s problematic.”

He snorted.

“Want me to fix it?”

“No offense, babe, I’m not in the mood anymore. The idea of putting you in this much danger is a bit of a turn-off.”

“That’s fair enough.” Soonyoung gazed up at him. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“Thank you. For accepting me. Y’know.” Soonyoung blushed, looking away. “You know what I mean.”

Seokmin leaned down again to kiss him softly. “Fuck, you’re adorable.”

Soonyoung smiled into the kiss. “You’re heavenly.”

“Don’t seduce me.”

“Me? Never.”

Minghao knocked before entering, clipboard held over his eyes. “Sir, Stoy is on his way as is the egregious amount of food I ordered.”

“Yes.” Soonyoung got up and danced around to hug his friend. “What’ya buy what’ya buy what’ya buy?”

Minghao handed over a long printed-out receipt. “Give that to my boss, would you?”

“ _Oooooh_ , you really got me noodles, thank you! Let’s see, and chicken all types, and some seafood, noodles, soup, French fries, Minghao you’re the best.” Soonyoung handed the bill to his boyfriend.

Seokmin sat at his desk with the receipt. “Soonyoung, if you’re going to be the head of the mafia you shouldn’t coo over the staff like that.”

Soonyoung froze with his arms around Minghao. “…but Minghao’s my friend. You like Minghao too. Don’t listen to him Hao, he’s just jealous that he can’t have all my attention. He loves you too, deep, deep down.”

“I know he does, he just tries not to show it cause he thinks it’s unprofessional, and he’s right.” Minghao cuddled his friend back a moment. “What’s this about you being the head of the what now?”

“Seokmin is gracefully allowing me to become joint head. That way other mafia leaders in Seoul will understand not to screw around trying to kidnap me.”

Minghao thought about it, rubbing the tip of his finger against the tip of his nose in a cute habit. “I see, so they will leave _you_ alone… and _that’s_ why you’re calling Stoy and Wen. Okay. Yeah, now it all makes sense. You could afford to tell me stuff now and again, boss.”

“Oh go suck a dick, Minghao.”

Minghao put an arm around Soonyoung’s shoulders. “Well, you heard the boss.”

“ _Minghao._ ”

“Alright, alright, jeez. Take a joke, why don’t ya. I’ll go drop Wen a line. But as far as I know he’s in the Vietnamese jungle, so it might take a while.”

Seokmin waved a hand in the air. “W’ever.”

Minghao pinched Soonyoung’s shoulder in a friendly way before exiting.

“Hey. Why’d you let him touch you like that?”

Soonyoung stood there a moment before shoving his hands in his pockets. “If you’re about to get possessive and jealous over my friendship with Minghao, I’m gonna have to beat you up.”

Seokmin glared at him, a sudden chill in the room as the two boyfriends exchanged icy glares. “I don’t like it when Minghao jokes like that.”

“Get over it.” Soonyoung tilted his head back a little, giving Seokmin a squint that was impressively intimidating for somebody wearing an _Iron Man_ t-shirt. “Or do I need to come over there and remind you how it is?”

“Oh, _please_ ,” Seokmin squinted back. “Do remind me.”

Soonyoung strutted over to Seokmin’s desk with the glare set in stone on his face, before swivelling Seokmin’s chair and gently placing himself on his lap, one leg on either side of his lap. “Hey, fucker. Look up at me.” Two fingers under Seokmin’s chin forced him to look up at his lover hovering over him. “Did you think I was seeing other men?”

Seokmin’s eyes changed: the angry edge began to fade as he realized what was happening. “Are you saying you’re not?”

Soonyoung leaned in with a menacing smile until his lips were barely apart from Seokmin’s. “How could I betray _Daddy_ like that when you always fuck me so good? How could I be with anybody who wasn’t you?”

Seokmin’s hands automatically cupped the architect’s butt. “How indeed… you’re right…”

Soonyoung gripped his head, changing his sultry voice back to normal. “I’m not kidding, you know. Leave Minghao alone. He’s a good friend.”

He looked guilty, but went on anyway. “I don’t know. Sometimes he looks at you funny. Like he has a thing for you.”

“Minghao doesn’t have a thing for me.”

“Promise you’ll turn him down if he does?”

“Duh.” He kissed him harshly, tonguing him roughly for a moment, both hands in his hair. “Ah, fuck, being rough with you is fun.”

“I enjoy it.” One of Seokmin’s hands clenched around an ass cheek for a moment. “You looking evil and angry all of a sudden… like a really scary mobster. How delicious.”

Soonyoung chuckled, happy with the review on his performance, and moved to sit in his boyfriend’s lap normally. “Good.”

 

Stoy was a tall man in his thirties, entirely bald and vaguely Eurasian, clad in a navy suit not unlike Minghao’s regular attire. He was also almost entirely silent: when he spoke, it was a low gravel, and he was short with his words.

The four were happily digging into their food when the doors suddenly burst open and a slim, dark-haired figure strode in. He walked until he was standing right in front of the desk before dropping to his knees dramatically and pressing his forehead against the carpet, quickly folding himself into a formal bow.

“Boss, I beg you, _please take me back!_ ”


	31. Chapter 31

Soonyoung stared at Minghao. Minghao stared at the figure on the ground. Seokmin stood up behind his desk, calmly walked around it, and placed his foot on top of the man’s head.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t hear that. What did you say?”

There was a moment of pause.

“… _please take me back._ ”

Seokmin wasted no time in kicking the man in the head, sprawling him across the floor. “You came here to ask me to take you _back_?!”

Soonyoung stood instantly, putting a hand on his boyfriend’s shoulder. “Seokmin.”

“Don’t stop me, I’m _mad_!”

“Who said anything about stopping you.” He squeezed his shoulder. “But I do remember having a conversation with you about blood and carpets.”

“I’m not gonna kill him, I’m just gonna beat him up!”

“He’s already got a split lip. The room two doors down has a hardwood floor. If he’s going to bleed, please make it happen there.”

Seokmin looked at him for a moment, cooling down ever so slightly before picking the man up by the collar. “Come on then, you.”

Soonyoung didn’t sit back down until Seokmin and his new victim were gone: he quietly picked up his food again and began to eat.

“Doesn’t that bother you?” Minghao shuddered. “It bothers me and I’ve worked here for years.”

Soonyoung paused a moment. “Yes,” he said quietly, “yes, it bothers me. A lot. But I’m not a strong person. The best I can do is make it so that I don’t have to see the violence myself. I know that makes me a coward, but… right now, it’s all I can do. I have to be accepted as head, and if I give Seokmin any cause to doubt that decision he’ll rescind it. I can’t have that.”

Minghao stared at him for a while. “You’re wrong. You’re strong, Soonyoung.”

He architect gave him a weak smile, biting into his food once more. “So, who is that guy?”

“Wen Junhui. Your new secretary.” Minghao kept like eating without a problem. “You see, last assignment he got, he kind of got caught by some feds and there was a big uproar, thousands in bribes, there was a big upset, but he’s absolutely brilliant, so Seokmin didn’t want to let him go. He kept him on but banished him for a while.”

Soonyoung instantly put his food down, getting off his chair. “Didn’t you say he was in Vietnam?!”

“Sure but-”

Soonyoung pulled the door open, but there was no need: Seokmin already stood there, the dark-haired man by his side. “Soonie?”

“Can we _speak outside?_ ”

He blinked, a little surprised. “Uh, sure. Wen, you wanna…”

Soonyoung stepped aside to allow the man in and then stepped out, closing the door tightly behind him.

“Soonie?”

Soonyoung put his hands on Seokmin’s shoulders and gently pressed him against a wall before he backed up, standing against the opposite wall for a few moments, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Give me a sec.”

Seokmin waited patiently.

“Okay. Okay, we need to um. Three. Three things.”

“Yes?”

“First of all, why is your immediate response to somebody pressing their head to the floor and begging your forgiveness to _beat the shit out of them_?”

The gangster’s eyes rolled upwards as he genuinely thought of the reason. “Bad upbringing?” he tried.

“Listen, you want to beat up bad people, beat up bad people, but how long has that man been banished for?”

“Only two years,” Seokmin answered sheepishly.

“Two _years?!_ You were _already going to bring him back_ , what in the hell do you think you were doing?! He’s atoned enough.”

Seokmin thought a bit more about it. “Yeah, okay, dick move since I was gonna forgive him anyway. I get it.”

“Second of all, don’t beat up people you’re going to _give to me_.” Soonyoung flashed him a sharp look. “I don’t want pummelled-up rejects from you. That’s a shitty gift of a secretary, Seokmin. If you’re going to give me my own staff and personnel, give them to me in pristine condition.”

“Ah…” Seokmin nodded a moment. “Of course. Sorry.”

Soonyoung sighed, closing his eyes and leaning against the wall a little more. “Okay.”

“Are you alright, babe?” Seokmin put his hands on his lover’s shoulders. “You look exhausted.”

“You’re out here giving me heart problems. If I die of a heart attack, I’m blaming you.”

Seokmin smiled, hugging him softly. “I’ll take good care of your heart, Soonie.”

“You better.” Soonyoung hugged him back. “Is he okay?”

“Yeah, I didn’t hit him much. Sorry. I let my temper get away with me. Just seeing his face pissed me off. Even though I was going to ask him to come back.”

“That’s alright.”

“What was the third thing?”

“Oh! The third thing.” Soonyoung scowled darkly. “Don’t beat people up _while I’m eating._ Do you know how off-putting that is?”

Seokmin stared at him for a moment before breaking out into deep, throaty laughter, breaking away from his boyfriend. “ _Soonyoung!_ ” he screeched, amused, chuckling to himself. “Soo- Soo- Soon- Soo-”

“Have you finally gone crazy then?”

Seokmin gripped him by the arm, wiping his face free of tears and trying to catch his breath. “You’re funny,” he smiled, giggling a little. “I didn’t think you’d be this… normal.”

Soonyoung helped his boyfriend pick himself up. “Just because I’m part of the mafia and there’s a madman on the hunt for my head and the lives of my family doesn’t mean I changed into an alien, you know.”

He pulled a face. “Why do you have to always make things so grim…”

“Are you coming? My noodles are going to get cold.”

 

“Soonyoung, this is Wen Junhui. He’ll be your secretary from now on. Punk, this is your new master.”

Wen Junhui took a bow and came up smiling, despite the developing shiner on his left eye and the trickle of dried blood that was drawn between his nose and his chin.

“What am I, an owner? Good to meet you, Junhui. Sit down.” Soonyoung moved to open a drawer in Seokmin’s bureau and sat beside his new secretary to gently use wet wipes to clean his face.

“Soonyoung, what are you doing?”

“What’s it look like?”

Minghao observed. “Cleaning.”

“Bingo.”

“Ah, sir, you don’t really have to-”

“Wen Junhui, don’t call me sir in intimate circles like this. In fact if, at any point, you can _avoid_ calling me sir, that would be great.” Soonyoung gently worked away flecks of blood until his secretary’s face was clean. “That okay?”

“Yes si-… uh. Yeah.” Junhui glanced at him. “How old are you?”

“You’re the same age,” Minghao made out past a mouthful of crab.

“We are?” The two looked at each other in surprise for a moment.

“Don’t go getting ideas, Wen.” Seokmin glared from across the small dining table. “You can’t fuck him.”

Jun put both hands up. “I wasn’t even thinking that, sir!”

Soonyoung chuckled, disposing of the wipe. “Don’t be so jealous, babe. You’ll make everybody uncomfortable.”

“Everybody can go ahead and be uncomfortable.”

“Don’t pout, it’s not cute.”

“I’ll pout as much as I like.”

“At your age?” Minghao interjected.

The room suddenly fell still as everybody quietly contemplated that sentence.

“Uh… sorry, boss.”

That didn’t clear up the awkward silence.

“Yeah. Fine. Okay?” Seokmin put down his food, visibly upset. “I’m old. I’m the oldest person in the room. Go on. Make fun of me for it. I’m an old man.” He got up and headed for the door. “Finish your food.”

Once he was gone, all eyes turned to Soonyoung, who had a small bundle of noodles hanging out of his mouth.

“ _Waff? ‘e tow me tu finiff mu foob._ ”

Junhui glanced awkwardly. “Still though… Uh, aren’t you gonna… go after him?”

Soonyoung stared down at his noodles sorrowfully, contemplating for a while before nodding and swallowing his food. “Yeah, yeah, fine. You owe me for this, Minghao.”

“I’ll buy you something nice,” he answered unperturbed.

Soonyoung had to jog to catch up with his boyfriend who was stepping into the elevator but he caught him in time, hugging him from the back as the doors closed.

“Soonyoung?”

“Hmm?”

He sighed. “I wanted to be alone.”

“Sorry, I can’t let you do that.”

He turned in his lover’s arms to face him.

“You can’t be sad by yourself. I won’t let you. I’ll be with you when you’re sad from now on.”

He had to smile a little at that, at least, putting his arms around Soonyoung. “Thank you, Soonie. I don’t think I deserve you.”

Soonyoung hugged him tightly. “You really need to understand that you’re not old, Seokmin. I promise you you’re not. So please… just for a little while… be young with me.”

Seokmin’s arms crossed over each other on his lover’s back and he leaned his chin on Soonyoung’s head a moment before closing his eyes. “Yeah okay.”

“Thank you.”

“Do you think God will get angry with me?”

“Hmm?”

“Do you think God would be angry with me? For falling in love with you? Sometimes I think I must be invoking his wrath. Falling in love with one his favorites like this.”

“Why on _earth_ would you think I’m a favorite?”

Seokmin smiled down at him very softly, a happy smile on his face. “ _Look_ at you,” he whispered gently, moving until their foreheads touched. “Bright, lovely, kind, soft, happy… you have to be a favorite.”

“As long as I’m your favorite it’s all good.”

“You’re too sweet.”

“I know.” Soonyoung smiled, pulling out of the hug. “Any place we’re going in particular?”

“I was just going to walk around the block.”

“I’ll take you up on that.” Soonyoung pulled his lover out of the elevator happily. “I ate too much, I probably have to walk it off anyway.”

“Don’t go overboard,” Seokmin warned. “I like a little thigh.”

“I get that you’re trying to be sweet and I appreciate it, Minnie, but just for future reference, I don’t care what you like. You’ll take what I serve.”

“Yes, my prince.”

“Ew.”

Seokmin simply laughed, and was still cackling away to himself when Soonyoung fished his ringing phone out of his pocket and accepted the call without checking. “Hello.”

“It’s me.”

Soonyoung paused in the middle of his walk in shock for a moment, allowing Seokmin to walk out of his hand before he turned back. “Um. Hi,” he mumbled awkwardly. That morning seemed to suddenly have been lightyears away.

“Listen… sorry.”

Soonyoung shrugged it off a little, but it took him a minute. “Yeah, you know. Whatever.”

“Nah, really. I mean I… can we… talk?”

Soonyoung took a moment to look at Seokmin before nodding. “Uh, yeah. Did you get home?”

“Yeah, I’m home now.”

“Okay… I’ll head there now, okay?”

“Yeah. Soonyoung? …thanks.”

Soonyoung had to smile, even if it was just a little, before rolling his eyes. “Sure, Mingyu.”

 

“Then, sir, I’ll leave you here.” Stoy took a bow. “Please text my number fifteen minutes before you leave the house so I can escort you.”

“Uh… sure.” _Not awkward at all._ He turned to Jun. “Um…”

“I’ll come in if you want me,” the man grinned. “And I won’t if you don’t. But if it’s alright with you I’d like to meet up tomorrow to discuss your schedule.”

“…how’s the day after? I have Uni tomorrow.”

“Noted. Have a good night, boss.”

“You too, Jun.”

 

Mingyu was on the couch, wringing his hands awkwardly, staring off into the distance, obviously not entirely with his surroundings.

“…hey,” Soonyoung murmured softly, dropping his keys on the table.

Mingyu jumped as if he was in a haunted house, almost falling off the sofa in surprise. “Oh, you’re home! I didn’t hear you.”

“It’s okay, I haven’t been standing here for long or anything.” He flopped down on the sofa. “Sup.”

It took him a moment to hang is head. “I’m sorry.”

“I gathered. I just… don’t _get_ it, Mingyu. You and Eyoung are my best friends, Seokmin is my boyfriend. I mean… you don’t have to be as crazy about them as I am, that’s fine, but…”

Mingyu sighed. “Yeah. I know. I’m a jerk.”

“It’s not that you’re a je-… okay no yeah you’re a jerk, but I don’t understand _why_.”

Mingyu sighed again, long and sad. “Me neither, really. I don’t know. I think I’m just jealous. I don’t know. Eyoung rubs me the wrong way and Seokmin…”

“I know you struggle with his occupation.” Soonyoung took a deep sigh. “But I really need you to find a way to make your peace with it. Now, more than ever.”

“Yeah, I know. I’ve been working on it. I think – I think I can, if- if you’re really happy, if you’re not in danger, I think I can handle it. I really worry about you. I want you to…” He trailed off slowly, eyes squinting slowly. “Wait. What do you mean _now more than ever_?”

Soonyoung stared at his hands for a moment.

“Kwon Soonyoung?”

His voice was soft. “Seokmin accepted me as joint head today.”

Mingyu couldn’t even bring himself to make a sound.

“There was an ambush party waiting for me earlier when we left. After that… he realized how much I needed the extra protection. I have a secretary and a bodyguard… but it doesn’t look like he’ll be letting me do any actual work.”

Mingyu didn’t speak, and the silence dragged on a little too long: when Soonyoung looked up, his friend was staring at the floor.

“Bodyguard… you say?”

“Mm. His name is Stoy. He’s huge.”

“He’ll be protecting you?”

“Yeah. He actually walked me home to make sure I got back safely just now.”

“I see.” Mingyu let another uncomfortable silence fall before sighing deeply and leaning back into the couch again. “Well… that’s that, then.”

Soonyoung couldn’t even look at him. “If you want me to move out, I can do that.”

“… _move out_? What are we, nine? _You’re a poopy-head and I’m not gonna play with you anymore!_ ” Mingyu chuckled at his own impression of a child’s voice. “No, man. Don’t move out. That’d _really_ break my heart.”

“I don’t wanna hurt you, you enormous oaf.”

He snorted, but it was obvious in his voice that he was smiling. “You too, ridiculous hamster. Listen, it’ll take me some time, I’m gonna fuck up a few times, but I’m gonna get over it. Cause you promised you’d still be my buddy. Right?”

“Right.”

“Forever.”

“Yes.”

“I’m not kidding, Soonyoung. I expect us to be creating chaos in hell when we’re ghosts, you got that?”

“ _Duh_.”

“So… if you promise not to change, I’ll put more effort into not being a total jackass.”

“I’ll pinkyswear, if you’d like.”

Mingyu solemnly held out his little finger.


	32. Chapter 32

“So… this is nice.”

“I think this is how girls must feel when they’re on their periods.” Soonyoung swallowed another mouthful of chocolate cake without really chewing much of it. “I get it now. It works, man.”

“Tough session?”

“The absolute fucking _worst_ ,” Soonyoung murmured.

“Can I join? Oh, no – you’ve almost finished. Did you eat that _entire_ chocolate cake by yourself?”

Soonyoung looked his best friend dead in the eye, moved the empty chocolate cake box to the side, and opened the fresh chocolate cake box underneath to reveal another pristine delicacy. He thrust his cutlery into it like he was a caveman. “Grab a fork.”

“Yes.” Mingyu rushed to grab a fork and delved into the second cake with his friend. “So… you wanna talk about it?”

“I do any more talking about it, I’m gonna lose my mind,” Soonyoung muttered. “All I want to do is eat my emotions away. And girls – they _really_ know what they’re doing. Shit. This stuff is like magic.”

“It’s pretty good,” Mingyu agreed, wolfing down a helping and chewing it thoughtfully. They sat and chewed for a while in peaceful silence. “So… have you told him yet?”

Soonyoung paused, but only for a second. “Nu-uh.”

“Are you at all _planning_ on telling your boyfriend you’re seeing a shrink who’s treating you for brainwashing and dysmorphia that you got because of your association with him?”

“Not sure yet,” Soonyoung answered slowly. “Like, with any luck, I won’t have to? I don’t wanna worry him, and he’s the type to worry about it.”

“I get that.”

“How’s Wonwoo?”

Mingyu went bright pink. “Good.”

“Yeah?”

“He’s switched to decaf and it’s making my life hard. Eyoung’s on her last leg so much that she can’t even yell at me when I go over anymore.”

“Yeah I know, she’s been exhausted at school, too.”

“Soonyoung, I say this because I love you. You’re eating too much cake.”

“I know.” Soonyoung sighed at the last slice, his fork inching towards it. “… _man_ girls know their shit.”

 

“Soonyoung.” He was very obviously upset. “Why does this have your name on it?”

“That’s ‘cause it’s from me.” Soonyoung appraised his fingernails with great interest. “Why?”

“Didn’t I specifically tell you not to get me a present?”

“Yes, and I decided that that was stupid and I got you something anyway.”

“What did you get me?”

“An island.”

“An _island_?!”

“Aw, jeez, Seokmin, calm down, I did not buy you an _island_.” Soonyoung rolled his eyes.

Seokmin hurried to open the box: at the top sat a small brown flap of leather. He had to take it out and fumble with it to see what it was. “… _Soonie_ …?”

“I know it’s your dad’s watch, and I respect that, but you only need to make _one_ reckless hand gesture and it’s going to fall right off. I took the measurements last week when you were asleep and got a new leather wristband made for it.”

“I love you,” he smiled, turning to peck Soonyoung on the cheek. “You really shouldn’t have.”

“Have you checked, you know… _under_ it?”

Slowly, Seokmin pulled out two flaps of paper. “…tickets to…? Soonyoung?”

“I had Minghao clear your schedule. For three full days you and I will lie on a hot beach on an exotic island with plenty of drinks and we are going to relax.” He stretched a little. “I finished most of my projects at University, thanks to _somebody’s_ insistence I stay on-track with my schedule, so I’m ready for a holiday.”

Somewhere in a corner, Wen Junhui smiled proudly, despite the blush on his cheeks.

“So… you’ve _all_ ganged up on me to force me to take another holiday?”

“Don’t pretend you aren’t happy,” Minghao muttered.

“…fine.” Seokmin put the box down. “Guys… thank you all so much. You shouldn’t have.”

“It’s only a _small_ birthday party,” Soonyoung mumbled. “We weren’t sure if you’d do well with a big one.”

“I wouldn’t,” he acknowledged.

“See? I did good.” Soonyoung made a dramatic point of patting himself on the shoulder. “Anyway, tomorrow morning I have things to do and we fly tomorrow night. It’s not for very long, but it should be fun.”

Seokmin smiled at him like he was the whole world. “Thank you.”

 

Seokmin’s breathing slowed down to a more normal rhythm as he lay on the bed. “I love you, you know,” he whispered.

“I know.”

“…that must have been hard for you.”

“…y-yeah.”

He glanced over to his boyfriend, completely tucked away under the bedsheets so as to hide his body. Seokmin’s fingers tousled his hair for a moment. “Thank you. You really are… _beautiful_ , Soonyoung. So beautiful. I know taking it all off like that is difficult. I want you to know how much I appreciate it. And I appreciate you. And I love you.”

“Who would have known the leader of the mafia was such a sap?” Soonyoung grinned happily, a little dazed. “Well… this was it, the last big test.”

It took him a moment. “The last…?”

“Uh… actually… I’ve been going to a psychologist. Lately. To help with the whole… you know. Don’t be mad at Jun, I forced him to keep it a secret. This was like… the last step to getting better.”

Seokmin took a moment to think about that, calmly and quietly. He looked up. “…and how are you? After completing the last, big test?”

He gulped. “I have to say… it wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be. Though I’m putting most of that down to your masterful skills. I guess I’m just lucky I wasn’t… that, you know, things didn’t drag out too much after everything.”

Seokmin shuffled on the bed to grip his boyfriend. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“That I was seeing someone?”

“Yeah.”

“…you would have been worried.”

“Yes, of course I would.”

“You would have acted more careful around me, and that was the one thing I dreaded most. I wanted us to be normal together. I really like it when we’re normal together. Like when you’ve let your laundry stack up too long and you have to spend hours in your underwear looking like a fool until I’ve dried your clothes. Or when you’ve got sauce dripping down your face ‘cause you’re a messy eater. Or that time when you walked through a bunch of catnip through the bushes and all the cats suddenly started following you? That was fun.” A soft, happy look came over him. “Things are right now, Seokmin. I feel better. Mingyu was nice to you all morning. I’m healthy. You’re healthy. We’re happy… things couldn’t be better. Right?”

“… _right_.” He sighed. “It’s not because you don’t trust me, right?”

“Trust you?” Soonyoung smiled gently. “I’ve trusted you with my _life_ so far, and you haven’t let me down even once. Of course I trust you. I didn’t tell you, because I didn’t want you to worry.”

“I’m going to worry a lot from now on.”

“ _Nooooooo_ , don’t do that.”

“Payback.” Seokmin chuckled, peppering kisses over Soonyoung’s face. “I’m glad you feel better. That makes me happy.”

“Good. I’m glad.”

“You’re going to Chan tomorrow morning?”

“Yeah. I know you have a meeting with some people so I’ll be going alone.”

“Aww. Tell him I said hi. And that I love him.”

“I will.”

“Are you coming over after that?”

“Nope. My professor asked to see me in the afternoon and then I’m gonna phone my kid brother, see how he’s ruining things back home.”

“So I’m not the only one that’s busy.”

“No, you’re not.” Soonyoung tapped his nose cutely. “After that I’ll pack suitcases for both of us so we can go to Bali with ease tonight. We’re not taking the guys though. If there are _any_ mobsters on Bali who are out for our lives, I feel like we should be enough to take them on. Especially since my boyfriend’s got a killer right hook.”

Seokmin laughed at the idea. “I’ve still got it. I grew up in the mafia. It came naturally. I can pop a man’s eyeballs out like that.” He snapped his fingers for emphasis, grinning as he made his boyfriend squirm. “All squidgy and gooey and-”

“Alright, alright! Mercy!”

“Fine.” Seokmin pecked his boyfriend happily. “…hey, Soonyoung?”

“Mm?”

“Will you stay with me?”

“What?”

“Forever, I mean.”

“Barring some unforeseen disaster, yes…? Of course. I love you, Seokmin.”

The man’s face softened to an impossible degree until he planted his face in his pillow. “You’re so cute. I love you. Fuck.”

Soonyoung simply laughed.

 

“Seokmin?”

“Mm, just a minute.”

The panic rose exponentially in Soonyoung’s voice. “Seokmin? What do you have there?! _Seokmin?!_ ”

The man stood in confused shock as his boyfriend swatted the box of white pills out of his hand: he scrambled for them on the floor, shaking from head to toe, and held them up to him accusingly. “What is this?!”

“Soonie?”

“What is this! What is it! It’s medicine right! It’s in a medicine box! What are they? What are you taking?! Where are you sick?!”

“Soo-”

“I heard you talk to your doctor about taking pills! He said you can never forget them? Where are you sick? What’s so wrong that you have to take these pills all the time?!”

He placed his hands on the boy’s shoulders. “Soonyoung,” he said warmly before turning the box of pills in his hand so the label could be read. “They are multivitamins.”

Soonyoung stared, uncomprehending.

“I tend to have a bad diet and a lot of stress. That burns through your necessary vitamins and minerals a lot. When I was a teenager I’d regularly get sick because I was so low, so my doctor prescribed a very high dosage of everything for the rest of my life. That is all, my little everything. That’s all.”

Soonyoung’s stare slowly moved from the pill bottle to his boyfriend before he slid to his knees in shock. “Just multivitamins… just vitamins…”

“Yes, Soonie. That’s all.” Seokmin pulled him up and placed him gently on the bed. “What’s wrong, hm? Why are you so scared?”

“A-anybody would be scared hearing that about their boyfriend!”

“Soonyoung.”

He closed his eyes for a moment, breathing out hard. “My father… the one that adopted me, he… he was sick for a very long time. Cancer. He never told us. Never told anybody. Didn’t even tell Jihoon until it was too late. Eventually he survived the operation he had, but… I never saw the signs, back then. I didn’t see. I was old enough to see but I was so pre-occupied with myself that I couldn’t see that the person next to me was dying. I’ve been scared ever since, of people being sick, hiding it from me… what if something happened to you? Something I didn’t know?”

Seokmin sat next to him and held him close. “You really are my little everything, do you know that? I’m perfectly healthy, Soonie. I’m going to be healthy for a really long time. I promised to be young with you, didn’t I? I won’t get sick. Bad things won’t happen. I won’t get hurt. You don’t need to worry about that.”

“I was scared.” Soonyoung clutched him. “Don’t get sick.”

“I won’t, little everything. I promise. I won’t get sick, or hurt. Now… are you ready to get dressed, or are you just going to visit my brother in that towel?”

 

“Hey!” Chan gave him a broad grin before it fell. “He didn’t come with you today either?”

“Sorry, buddy. He had some work to do. He told me to tell you that he loves you, though.”

“Yeah.” The boy pouted a little to himself before brightening. “But you came around! Thank you.”

“Brought you a new game for that PSP.” Soonyoung handed him the bag. “It’s from your brother. Make sure you text him a thank-you note.”

“I will. Thanks, Soonyoung.”

“How you doing?”

“Not bad, actually. I think the new painkillers are working pretty well.”

“Yeah? That’s great!”

Chan grinned, caught up in Soonyoung’s excitement for a moment. “Right? They say if it holds, I’ll be allowed to take to a wheelchair more often and go outside.”

“That’s _crazy_! I’ll definitely make your brother come over then.”

“You better.”

“I will.”

“I miss him.”

Soonyoung grimaced a little. “I know. Listen… I have a confession to make.”

“Yeah?”

“I’m taking him out on a vacation. It’s only for three days though! When he gets back I’ll ask him to visit. If they really let you use a wheelchair more, how about the three of us go on a trip? Just a short one. To the amusement park, or something.”

The boy’s eyes began to sparkle. “…really? Me? To the amusement park?”

“Sure, why not? If you can really move about. The way I see it, as long as the painkillers work and it’s not for days on end, it should be fine, right? I can take care of you for two days and a night. I’m not a complete idiot. This all depends on the hospital though. If they say no, then it’s no.”

“They’ll say yes! I’m sure they’ll say yes!”

Soonyoung snorted and tousled his hair. “Okay, if you say so. How far did you get on the last game I brought…?”

 

“Is it that rough?”

“It’s hard to explain. I’ve been staying home more, trying to help, but it doesn’t seem like it’s working.” Samuel sighed, pouting a little. “He said he met somebody special when he was in Japan, but he won’t talk much about it… just that they decided not to be together and had to separate at the end. Uncle Jisoo tries and acts normal, but when he’s alone I catch him staring off into space with a really sad look on his face. It’s really unsettling. I don’t understand why you would leave somebody you liked just like that, without even exchanging numbers.”

Soonyoung thought of the day he erased Seokmin’s number from his phone, his expression darkening a little. “I guess there are a lot of reasons for two people to separate like that. Sometimes you already know that your relationship can’t work out.”

“I don’t like it though.” The boy seemed to pout even harder. “I think it hurts Uncle Jisoo to act like normal around us. Like… his smile is different. Sometimes he screams in the middle of the night, too. Nightmares. I don’t think Jihoon hears it, ‘cause he’s almost as deaf as Charlie is, but Dad hears sometimes. He’s tried talking to him. He told me… to just forget it. It’ll be better with time. But it makes me hurt. Why can’t he be with somebody he liked?”

“Maybe that person was married. Maybe they were a man with high social standing. Maybe their love was forbidden from the start. If it was meant to be, they’ll meet again, so don’t worry.” Soonyoung let out a soft smile.

“Uncle Jisoo? With a man?” Samuel wrinkled his nose. “You think?”

“Hey, you didn’t have a problem with Jihoon and Dad, _or_ with me and Seokmin. Why is Uncle Jisoo different?”

“He’s not, I guess. I just never thought about it.”

“He can’t be a bachelor forever. Well, I mean, I _guess_ he can, but it’d be sad.”

He wasn’t pleased, but he took comfort in his big brother’s smile. “So… the contract the school gave you. Do you think you’ll take it?”

Soonyoung sighed – deeply, and full of thought. “I don’t know yet. Rationally, I know it’s a really good opportunity. It could probably set me on a good course for the rest of my life. But… five years is a long time to be away.”

“I guess you wouldn’t be able to come over, even for a short visit, huh?”

“Not really.”

“Five years is a long time. I’ll be 22 by then! I’ll almost be finished with college when you get back.”

“Speaking _of_ , have you decided what you want to do? You know Dad isn’t bothered if you don’t want to go, but our cousin is a little…”

The two brothers shared a look that was a mix of terror and disgust.

“Intense,” Samuel finished for him. “Yeah. I’m not really sure, but I thought I’d go into business, like dad.”

“…if you tell cousin Jihoon you want to be like Dad, he’ll beat you ten ways to Sunday. He’ll start mumbling about overpriced coffee and dirty streets.”

“Eh, Jihoon would never do that to me. He likes me too much.” He sighed. “Maybe you’re right. I’m not set on it yet.”

“If you don’t decide soon, you’ll have to take an entrance exam. How about veterinary school? You love animals.”

“That’s the problem! I don’t want to see cute puppies all beaten up and bleeding and starving like that. If an animal died on me, I don’t know what I’d do. I’d go mad!”

Soonyoung chuckled. “You’re right.”

“Too bad they don’t have a certificate for tree-climbing or something.”

“You could go into sports.”

“I’m too old to start thinking seriously about sports. If I wanted to be in sports seriously I should have decided ten years ago.” The boy scowled at nothing for a moment. “I’m not talented in arts like you are, I’m not skilled with my body, and I don’t have any particular hobbies… it’s hard for somebody like me to decide what to do with their life. Right now, there’s a path that’s open for me if I want to take it, but… I’m not sure about anything, you know?”

“Mm, I understand.” Soonyoung checked his watch and almost yawned. “Buddy it’s time I went off. I’m going on a holiday for the weekend, so I need to be up early for the flight.”

“Hyung?”

“Mm?”

“…think carefully about the contract, okay?” He looked up with big puppy eyes. “I think… it would be really good for you. I think you’d be safer outside of Seoul. Seoul is a scary place, you know. You’ll meet bad people. I really, _really_ want you to go to China.”

Soonyoung snorted, but smiled nonetheless at what seemed to be his brother’s random musings. Funny how close he was to the truth. “Okay. Thank you, baby brother. Sleep well.”


	33. Chapter 33

“Do I _want_ to know why you’re crying?”

Seokmin covered his face for a moment with a single hand before swiping something on his phone and showing it to his lover.

“ _Scarlet Heart: Ryeo episode 20…_ Jeez, again? You know you can’t watch these historical dramas without getting emotional, you big buffoon.” Soonyoung sighed and handed him a cotton handkerchief. “If you were going to finish it, you should have at least waited until we weren’t on an airplane.”

“How long were you going to make me wait?” Seokmin took very serious steps to stop crying, using the handkerchief liberally over his face. “They didn’t even get to stay together…”

“Well you should have considered all this before-” He sighed, and stopped. “…just stop crying, okay? It’ll make me sad.”

Seokmin threw his arms around his lover with a tiny sniffle. “Soonyoungie. Promise me. Promise me we won’t be like these two, okay? Let’s stay together forever, no matter what. We won’t be greedy like them. We won’t hurt each other like them. Let’s just be happy together forever. So we won’t ever have to leave each other. My little everything.”

“I’m going to leave you if you keep crying over historical dramas in places where other people can see you.”

“Eh, Soonyoungie!”

Soonyoung sighed deeply, giving his boyfriend a good-natured look. “Yes, okay? I promise. We’ll be together forever.”

Seokmin wiped his last tears. “Thank you.”

 

“…it’s beautiful, Soonyoung. I must be a really good boyfriend, for you to use your chicken-appointed pocket money to rent this room out.”

“Do you even know how much you’re paying me to wear uncomfortable suits and dick around in your office all day? Let me spoil you a little. It’s always me getting spoilt. I don’t like it.”

Seokmin put his bag down on the large bed, looking around, staring at the horizon for a moment. “…sundown?”

“Looks like it, hmm? Change your clothes quickly, and we’ll go out on the beach.”

Within a few minutes they were both in t-shirts and shorts, strolling over the sandy beach of Bali in the warmth of the evening breeze.

“Even though it’s only February, it’s so warm. I know it’s Bali, but still… it’s really nice.”

Soonyoung just nodded slowly.

“Ah, this is a good spot. Let’s sit.” Seokmin forced his boyfriend down to sit in the sand with him as the sky began to color a fierce orange. They stared at the sea horizon for a while in silence. “It’s pretty, isn’t it?”

“It is. Very pretty.”

“…Soonyoung, did you mean what you said earlier? Us? Together forever?”

“Is there any reason for me not to mean it? Of course I meant it. I can’t imagine the future to be any other way.”

“Then… if I asked you to do something disgusting, would you do it?”

Soonyoung wrinkled his nose a moment, not taking his eyes off the horizon. “Are you going to ask me to eat sand or something? I’m not going to do that.”

“I didn’t mean that.” Seokmin nudged him a moment. “But, what if… what if I asked you to do something reprehensible? Something you might regret, someday? If I asked you to marry a criminal… do you think you would do it?”

“Marry a criminal?”

Seokmin pulled an item from his pocket and dropped it in Soonyoung’s lap. “It’s not a ring,” he warned, not giving the box another glance. “Since you already have my ring, wearing two rings makes you look too much like a pimp.”

Soonyoung opened the tiny wooden box to find a small bracelet nestled in foam. The plate made him smile. “It has our names on it.”

“M-m. I want you to be able to wear our love on your sleeve. Is that silly? I was hoping I could hold out… since we haven’t been dating that long.”

“We haven’t? No, I guess not. It feels like it’s been years, though. It’s been nice.”

“I couldn’t stop myself. It’s like you said. Everything is just perfect now. All our obstacles are being swept away. So… you’re free to say no, if you like. I’ll ask you again later, when I think you’ll say yes. But I wanted you to know my heart. I wanted you to know how serious I was about you. How much I mean it when I call you my little everything. There are reasons I can’t say I’d give up everything I have for you, but… when Chan gets better…”

Soonyoung shook his head a little. “Yes.”

“What?”

“Yes, Seokmin. But – not yet, alright? Let’s have a long engagement. Let’s not tell anybody we’re engaged for a while. Let’s… let’s enjoy it properly for a while.”

Seokmin watched, almost flabbergasted, as his boyfriend managed to clasp the bracelet around his wrist.

“…it’s nice.”

“Gold suits you.” Seokmin took his hand gently, pressing it to his lips for a moment. “It’s really okay? To marry a criminal?”

Soonyoung smiled a little. “You’re a rotten man, Seokmin, in and out. That’s how I met you. It’s how I left you. And I came back… not because you weren’t rotten, but because you were rotten for a better reason. I’m so in love with you, it feels stupid. Yes, I’ll marry a criminal. I’ll give him everything I have. Because he’s that special to me.”

“…I love you, Soonyoung, my little everything.”

“I love you too, Seokminnie.”

 

“It’s surprising how sticky you get in the heat,” Seokmin mumbled, coming out of the shower with a towel around his neck. “I feel like I need to take ano… _ther…_ Soonyoung?”

“Mmm?” Soonyoung turned his head only a little, lying on the bed on his stomach, glancing away from his phone. “Yeah?”

“Is that… a lace thong and garters?”

“Maybe. Does my butt look cute?”

“Oh, _God_.”

 

“As your fiancé, I should probably disclose some information.” Soonyoung stared at his morning coffee for a moment. “A while ago I went to talk to my professor. I’ve been offered a special internship at University. There’s a five-year project I’ve been asked to help on. They want me on their team. I’d be working on the project, and I’d graduate a little faster, too. It’s a good internship, I’d learn a lot, and my name would be… important, in that world.”

“Really?” Seokmin’s face began to beam. “Really? That’s my Soonyoung! You’re excellent at everything you touch, you know that, right?”

“Seokmin… I’ve decided to reject the offer.”

It took the man a moment. “What? Why?”

“…it’s in Beijing.”

There was a moment of silence as the penny dropped.

“I’d be in Beijing for five years. I wouldn’t have a chance to come back for a holiday. You wouldn’t be able to come out and see me very often, either.”

Seokmin was clearly conflicted. “But it’s a great opportunity,” he mumbled, sounding entirely like he didn’t want Soonyoung to go.

The architect chuckled. “That’s okay. I can still graduate like normal, you know, staying in Seoul. It’s not like I can’t. Besides, going would mean I also couldn’t see my family for all that time. Five years from now, my baby brother will be twenty-two… he’ll nearly be a fully-grown adult. In another year he’ll probably be coming to Seoul to study, so… I’d like to see it, if I could.”

“You need to work on your career, though…”

“My career is important, sure, Seokmin. But… there are other things important to me as well. My friends, my family, the man I promised to marry… you’re all people I can’t give up. I’m just starting to become friends with Jun, there’s Minghao and Eyoung and Mingyu to consider… I’d have to have a really good reason to leave Seoul right now.”

Seokmin scowled at the table. “I’m sorry. I know it’s greedy of me, but… I really want you to stay, too.”

Soonyoung grinned. “Good. Because that’s what I’m going to do.”

 

 “…this is nice,” Irene commented after clearing her throat. “It’s nice to finally meet who it is that’s been making my girlfriend so upset.”

Everybody fell still.

“Why’s that?”

“Well, Soonyoung spends all his time with you nowadays, so Eyoung has been pouting a lot lately.”

“I have not!”

“Ah, I’m sorry, Youngie.” Soonyoung draped an arm across the girl’s shoulders in an overexerted hug. “I’ll make sure to love you lots more from now on!”

“Oh, get off me, dumbass.” Eyoung laughed, swiping his arms away. “I was happy that you were dating a good man, anyway. Although, I was confused about the reasoning. Wonwoo said that Mingyu doesn’t like Seokmin, and therefore Seokmin was probably a really good boyfriend…?”

Soonyoung, Seokmin and Wonwoo broke out into chuckles: Mingyu just went bright red.

“Here, cheers.” Soonyoung raised his glass for another shot and everybody joined in, drinking plenty.

“It’s been a while since we were on a date, and now it’s a triple date. Don’t look so sad, Gyugyu.”

Mingyu wrinkled his nose and slowly, his whole face, but in a true promise to his best friend, he didn’t utter a word.

“The weather’s finally gotten warmer, so it’s not so much fun to drink soju anymore, but when you’re drinking with friends it’s _so_ much better.” Seokmin smiled. “I’m glad I can drink with all of Soonyoung’s friends like this. It feels like you’re a small family.”

“Because we are!”

“Isn’t Soonyoung the only combining factor, though?” Irene began to blink against the effects of the alcohol. “If you had never met Soonyoung, Youngie, you’d never have been friends… then Wonwoo and Mingyu would never have gone to the party and met each other… and because Mingyu knew you, when we were together and he was being mean to you, we met… It’s all because of Soonyoung.”

Seokmin smiled across the table at his boyfriend. “Is that true?”

“Of course it’s true!” Irene was truly losing function, slurring ever so slightly with her words. “Soonyoung’s the most important person. He’s special, you know. He makes things happen. Things are always happening around Soonyoung. He’s very, very, very important! If Soonyoung wasn’t around, Mingyu and Eyoung would always be fighting, and Wonwoo would get hurt because of it… with Wonwoo so hurt, Eyoung would have a hard time dealing with it… she could murder him in a heartbeat you know! But it’s all okay, because Soonyoung’s here.”

“Irene, you’re drunk. _Hic_.”

“People who are so drunk they’re hiccupping shouldn’t be calling other people drunk.” Irene gave him a sloppy look for a moment. “Mingyu. Hold out your glass. I’m giving you a special shot.”

“Aw but-”

“Hold it out!”

“Yes, yes…” Mingyu hiccupped twice, each time looking like a shocked puppy-dog before handing out his glass.

Irene filled it perfectly, despite her state. “Mingyu, I want you to drink this, and promise you won’t cause trouble.”

“I never cause trouble! _Hic!_ ”

“Drink!”

Mingyu took the shot obediently.

Before long Jun and Minghao showed up: the party paid for their drinks and scrambled into the van waiting for them. Eyoung and Wonwoo were let off first, then Irene and then Mingyu and Soonyoung: the latter spent a little time making out with his boyfriend before leaving, escorted by Jun until he was in his apartment, safe and sound.

“Soonie,” his flatmate mumbled as he clung to him. “I love you, you know.”

“I love you too.”

“For what it’s worth, I understand. I understand! Why you’re not going to China…”

Soonyoung paused in the middle of the hallway. “…how did you know?”

Mingyu giggled to himself. “Asked your prof- _hic!_ -fessor!”

“Ah…”

“You don’t want to leave, I get it, I understand, because you love us all _sooooooo_ much… I understand! But! It’s still bad… baaaaaaad… bad, bad, b _eeeeeeeeeeed…_ ”

Soonyoung dumped the boy onto his bed before tucking him in. “Is it?”

“Soonyoung.” He mumbled, a hand gripping Soonyoung’s arm. “If you went to China… it would be enough to fix it for the rest of forever. But if you went… something serious would happen, right? You’d never… never leave Seokmin… unless… you wouldn’t go to China, right?”

“I’m not going to China, Gyu.”

“I’ll miss you. Go healthily, and be healthy when you come back.”

He snorted. “Night, Mingyu.”

“Niii- _ehhhhh…._ ”

 

“I like these ones.”

“I like them too. Violets. They don’t just come in this color, though. They come in blues and purples and pinks and yellows and oranges and reds. All the colors!”

Chan’s fingers brushed over the petals briefly. “I’m happy, like this. I wish I could live in this garden forever.”

Seokmin quirked his head a moment.

“Seokmin? Is there a way?” Chan sat straighter in his wheelchair, looking all around himself. “Is there a way for me to live here?”

“Chan, this is Seoul’s botanical gardens. I don’t think you could live here.” Soonyoung smiled a little before glaring at his boyfriend. “Stop thinking so hard! It’s a bad idea! A bad one!”

Seokmin held up both hands with a chuckle. “Alright, alright.”

“Your big brother’s too weak against you, kid.”

“I know,” Chan grinned. “I use it to spoil myself a lot.”

“You’re entitled, but try not to ask for impossible things, alright?”

“Sure.”

Seokmin pushed his brother’s wheelchair a little further around to a bed of tulips and turned to him, sitting on a stone ledge around the flowers. “Hey, Channie… I, uh… I have something I want to ask you. Or… tell you. Or… well…”

“You’re going to get your intestines twisted if you make a worried face like that,” the boy scowled.

Seokmin looked at his boyfriend, who was busy with his camera. “Did you teach him that phrase?”

“You always make that face,” was Soonyoung’s only defence.

“Anyway, Channie… it’s something I want to discuss with you. Okay?”

“Did I get into trouble?”

“You did not.” Seokmin chuckled, ruffling his brother’s hair. “What I was going to say was… we’re a family of two, you know that?”

The boy nodded seriously.

“And you know that our family has always been… special.”

“The gay Mafiosi,” Chan answered with a simple shrug.

Soonyoung had to laugh at that, putting his camera down.

Seokmin pulled a face. “Well, I mean, you don’t _have_ to say it like that you know.”

“Make a point, Seokmin.”

“The point is… I want to extend our family.”

Chan thought about it for a moment, rubbing his chin a little. “Are you adopting Minghao?”

Soonyoung cracked up, hitting the cold ground, shaking with laughter. “A-ad-ad-ad-dopting M-Mi-Min- _HAAAA!_ ”

The poor gay Mafiosi sighed, putting his hand over his face for a moment. “No, Channie, I’m not adopting anybody. I’m getting married.”

The laughing stopped abruptly then.

Chan stared at Soonyoung for a moment, then back to his brother. “… _married_?”

“M-hm. I didn’t want to leave you out of the discussion.” Seokmin had to look away for a moment. “Soonyoung’s become somebody who is very important to me. _Really_ important. I proposed because I wanted him to know how serious I am about him, but then I began to feel guilty. I couldn’t even tell my own baby brother what I was thinking of. Soonyoung has accepted me for everything that I am, all the bad stuff too, but… for me, it’ll be difficult if you don’t like him. So… I guess I’m asking for your blessing? Channie… can you accept a brother-in-law?”

Chan moved to look at Soonyoung, who simply stared back.

“You haven’t even been dating a whole year yet.”

“I know,” Soonyoung answered. “You’d be surprised, though. All the things that have happened since last summer… feels like I’ve known your brother a very, very long time.”

“…do you love him?”

“I really do.”

Chan turned to his brother, shifting in his wheelchair. “…do you know what you’re doing?”

“I’ve never searched for somebody to fall in love with. You know that. I’ve always been far too busy with work to care about that kind of thing. When he came along…” The two brother suddenly turned to stare at Soonyoung. “It all fell into place.”

Chan waited a moment before letting out a very deep, heavy sigh. “You know, Soonyoung comes to visit me more often than you do. I like him. Besides, if you’re going to look at each other like you’re a couple in Hollywood, I couldn’t complain anyway.” The boy punched his big brother in the shoulder, lightly. “Be nice to your new husband and don’t forget about me, okay?”

 

“March is almost over,” Soonyoung sighed as Seokmin lit up a cigarette. “And you should stop smoking on hospital premises.”

“We’re leaving _anyway_.”

“You shouldn’t be smoking at all. Do you want to die next year?”

“Do you want me to stop smoking?”

“Yes please.”

“Okay.” Seokmin threw the white stick like a dart, allowing it to perfectly fall into a gutter. “That’s that, then.”

“Is it that easy to quit?”

“For you.”

Soonyoung grinned to himself, blushing slightly. “I love you, asshole.”

“I love you too. Thank you for not being mad I told Chan.”

“How could I be mad? I love Chan too, you know. It was a good decision to talk to him about it. I would have felt bad, too.”

Seokmin put an arm around his boyfriend, waving at the men waiting at the car. “I love you.”

“You too.”

“You look happy, sir,” Minghao smiled.

“You know what, Minghao? That’s cause I am.” Seokmin chuckled to himself and let Soonyoung get in first. “I think Spring’s the best time of year, don’t you? It’s getting a lot warmer. It’ll be April soon. It’s a good time of year.”

Minghao frowned a little, confused. “…yes, sir?”

“Minghao, my life is a good one.”

“Yes sir!”


	34. Chapter 34

“You know, we _will_ have to tell your family at some point.”

Soonyoung gripped his wrist harshly, shaking as he turned. “No.”

“You’re not serious, are you?”

“You want me to explain to Lee Jihoon that I’m getting married to a man he doesn’t approve of, before we’ve even been dating for a year?”

“What is he going to do, stop you?”

“Do you think he won’t burn me alive first? Seokmin…”

“You’re really scared of him, aren’t you?”

“Of course I am!”

Seokmin chuckled happily, digging his face into Soonyoung’s neck. “We’ve been engaged for a month, Soonyoung. I know you said we should enjoy it, but part of enjoying it includes sharing happy news with your family and friends. So far the only one who knows is Chan. We can be engaged for as long as you like, but I’m also scared… what if your family finds out _before we tell them_?”

Soonyoung looked at him in complete and total horror for a single second before wriggling out of bed.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m going to shower and put on some clothes and I’m going to _call my family and tell them we’re engaged._ ”

Seokmin chuckled at that.

Fifteen minutes later Soonyoung was making circles around the room until he was dizzy. “Don’t you have a single normal space in your living room?”

Seokmin glanced around his penthouse apartment. “What’s wrong with it?”

“Crystal vases, golden statues, famous paintings, diamond lamps… here.” Soonyoung moved a few trinkets away from a corner of the couch and checked himself in the camera of his iPad before moving the trinkets even farther. “I don’t want them to think we’re in some fancy place.”

“My place is fancy?”

Soonyoung sent him an anxious death glare.

“Alright, alright.”

“Eh!” Soonyoung held out a palm. “Where do you think you’re coming to?”

Seokmin stared blankly.

“Put on a shirt and comb your hair! They’ll think we’ve just finished fucking!”

“We _have_ just finished fucking…” Nevertheless, Seokmin gelled his hair back off his face and put on a shirt before sitting beside his lover. “You calling or?”

“I’m so nervous.” Soonyoung hit the button to call his family and began to wring his hands. “Oh my God oh my God oh my God oh my-”

Seokmin ducked down to kiss his fiancé’s hands. “Calm down, baby.”

“Easy for you to say.”

“Hello? Soonyoung?” The voice was heard before the screen connected: an immaculate, almost feminine face showed up. He broke out into a smile. “Long time no see, twerp.”

“Uncle Jisoo!” Soonyoung broke out into a warm smile. “How are you? How was Japan? I’m so sorry we missed you when we came over.”

Jisoo’s smile dropped and his eyes dulled, and suddenly Soonyoung understood what his little brother had said. Something had happened in Japan that had crushed his uncle beyond repair. The twinkle in his eye was vanished, and his face looked as if he’d witnessed a terrible sorrow. He looked almost as if somebody had died. “It was good.”

“Ah… uh, this is Seokmin, my boyfriend.”

Seokmin waved happily and Jisoo waved back. “Hi, I’ve heard lots about you. Seungcheol talks a lot.”

“Dad always talks so much,” Soonyoung interjected with a sour face. “Uh, actually, Uncle Jisoo… is everybody home?”

“Right now? Yeah.”

“Uhm, I kind of have something I need to say to everybody. Can you get everyone gathered?” It took a few minutes before everybody was convened on the other side of the screen. “Uh, hi guys.”

They all waved happily.

“Um… I have a bit of an announcement to make.”

Seungcheol leapt off his seat with a huge scowl. “ _YOU’RE PREGNANT!_ ”

“ _I’m a man, how am I going to be pregnant you fool?!_ ”

Jihoon pulled his husband back onto the couch, giving him a look before punching his shoulder. “Idiot.”

Soonyoung cleared his throat and opened his mouth, but no sound came out.

“Actually, it’s me who wanted to say something to everybody.” Seokmin deftly took the iPad from Soonyoung’s hands and centered himself on the screen. “I want to apologize to you all for not coming forward with my intentions sooner, but out of respect for Soonyoung I wanted to ask him first. I have asked Soonyoung to become my husband, and he has agreed to marry me.”

There were a few moments of silence.

“I’m sorry, what?”

The sound of Jihoon’s voice shot through Soonyoung’s body like ice. “WE’RE GETTING MARRIED YOU’RE ALL INVITED OKAY LOVE YOU BYE.” As fast as lightning Soonyoung hung up on his family and tucked the iPad back into its sleeve, throwing it to the other side of the couch. “ _OhmyGodohmyGodohmyGodohmyGod-_ ”

Seokmin laughed, putting his arms around him. “Precious.”

 

“I think we should tell them tomorrow. We’re already all coming together for dinner at the office tomorrow anyway, right? The last day of May? I’d like to just be friends with Minghao and Jun for a night and be able to tell them. Is that alright with you?”

“It’s not like they can complain.” Soonyoung shuddered. “Jihoon totally chewed me out.”

“He chewed you out because you hung up on them after delivering the news, he’s fully supportive of us because he knows I’m serious about you.”

Soonyoung sighed.

“Are you okay with telling them, then?”

“Yes.” Soonyoung smiled and gave him a kiss. “Let’s tell everybody from now on.”

 

Seokmin paced the office awkwardly. “What’s taking him so long?”

“What, are you going to propose to him?” Minghao chewed on a pretzel thoughtfully. “He’ll come. He’s just running late because his professor’s been giving a hard time about going to China.”

Seokmin didn’t calm down until his fiancé walked through the door – and then, he was stunned to silence.

Soonyoung’s preferred office attire was black jeans and some kind of formal, collared shirt – it was almost the only thing he’d worn since the beginning of the year. Instead, today he was clad in a navy suit: dark pants, blue turtleneck and a blue pin-striped jacket.

He looked _good_.

“Wow.”

“Hey. Sorry we’re late.” Soonyoung clasped him in a long, passionate kiss. “Have you ordered in yet?”

 

Jun and Minghao burst out into applause – a little late, as if they hadn’t processed the information, but they clapped nonetheless.

“Congratulations!”

“I knew you two were meant to be together,” Minghao smiled, his smile almost a little bitter in its softness. “You’re soulmates, you two.”

“Soulmates.” The Mafiosi looked at Soonyoung, taking his hand. “I like that.”

“Me too.”

“We should take pictures!” Jun whipped out an instax camera out of nowhere. “Here! Say cheese!”

“ _Cheese!”_ grinned Seokmin.

“ _Money!”_ his lover laughed.

Moments later, Jun slid the pictures into their pockets. “To remember your engagement by.”

 

Well, that was that. Minghao smiled as sweetly as he could, despite the sour taste in his mouth. Soonyoung was going to marry Seokmin. They were going to be together forever. And Minghao would always be the secretary that watched over them.

He knew, of course, that that was how it had to be. He’d known it for a while. The night that Soonyoung had hurried to find Seokmin during the storm, something about both of them had changed. As if they had grown into roles that had been written for them. It was undeniable that Soonyoung and Seokmin were meant to be together. Their smiles were too picturesque; their eyes too twinkly; their voices too melodic. They adored each other. It was plain enough for even Stoy to see, and Stoy was not a man who recognized emotions a whole lot.

But that didn’t make it sting any less. He knew, of course, that it was all an irrational crush: it wasn’t serious, it wasn’t deep and heartfelt, and there would be a day when he got over it. But he couldn’t help feel a little twang in his heart when he looked at Soonyoung.

Soonyoung had such a magnetic personality. He drew everyone near. Jun adored him, Stoy sat close to him, his friends were obviously delighted with him. Mingyu could only ever talk about annoying little things that Soonyoung did, so Minghao was often bombarded with brief texts about how Soonyoung managed to get burnt toast all over the TV, but they really did show how much Mingyu cared about his friend.

Mingyu and Minghao often exchanged texts about Soonyoung. Nothing serious or deep or meaningful. Worried, sometimes. But not anything of great interest.

It had all gone so fast. How did it all go by so fast? It felt like it was only a week ago that he was handing Soonyoung his first Tums. It was an understatement to say that the now happy couple had started off on dubious, rocky terrain. How did they develop from that messed-up, uncommunicative, forced relationship to this? How did Soonyoung go from being forced to being in love?

And why couldn’t it be _him_? Minghao was handsome. Not the same way as Seokmin, of course, but he wasn’t at all bad-looking. He was smart and tall and ripped enough just like the rest of them. They were friends. Close friends. How did it come to this?

Jun showed him the pictures. They looked good. Happy, bright. The pictures were slid into their pockets and he couldn’t help but wish he had gotten one, too. Just of Soonyoung. Yes, of course he was friends with Seokmin, and of course he cared, but it was different. Too different.

_This is it. I have to say goodbye now. I need to stop feeling this way. From now on, I’ll be happy that two of my best friends in the whole world are happy with each other. I won’t be jealous. I’ll just be me._

“Minghao? Cake?”

He turned and placed a dazzlingly happy smile on his countenance. “Yes please.”

 

The song rang through the room for a moment.

“Ah, sorry, it’s mine.” Soonyoung fished his phone out of his pocket. “Unknown number… it’s probably the university. Do you mind? It won’t take long.” He turned away from the small party to pick up. “Hello?”

“Hello Soonyoung.”

There was a moment of silence.

“Oh, you don’t recognize my voice? That’s a pity. I hoped I would make more of an impression on you than that. Though I’ll admit it’s been a while. Well, anyway, you’ll remember me in due time. Until then… I have something that belongs to you, Soonyoung.”

The man turned around to his closest allies, face drained of all color as his stomach dropped sickeningly.

“ _Yoon Jeonghan._ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please make sure to hit that kudos, scream at me for being a cliffhanger-writing dick and share with friends who deserve pain!


	35. Chapter 35

Seokmin wordlessly took the phone and switched it to speaker mode, setting it down on the table.

“- _do_ still know me! That’s good, Soonyoung, very good.” The voice was _too_ smirky, _too_ smarmy. The voice was far, far too happy with itself. “Anyway, what was I saying? Oh, yes. I have something that belongs to you.”

“What.” Soonyoung’s voice came through unmoving lips as he stared at the small device in terrified dismay, frozen in shock. “What do you have?”

“Well you see, it all started about a month ago. You know, it never really made sense to me, why the White Snake group would take you on my recommendation, but then that the order came from really high up to let you go. I never understood why they would do that. It’s not typical mafia behaviour, you know? I’m sure it didn’t make sense to Seokmin at the time either, why they would give you back under such a pathetic ransom.” There was a pause. “He’s there, isn’t he, listening in? Hi Seokmin. I’m afraid this doesn’t concern you, so you can leave now.”

Only Soonyoung’s hand on his chest stopped Seokmin from screaming.

“I’m at home alone,” he mumbled. “What are you talking about?”

“Well, it wouldn’t _make_ sense, would it? Why suddenly the boss wanted you free as a little bird. So I decided to do some digging, and you’ll never _believe_ what I found.”

A lump got stuck in Soonyoung’s throat.

“You see, the boss of White Snake’s an elderly man. Really elderly. He was on holiday to Jeju island to see a medicinal hot spring – do you know Jeju, Soonyoung?”

The architect couldn’t speak.

“Well, anyway. He went to Jeju for health reasons. But while he was there, he was almost hit by a car. Completely innocuous, as it turns out, nothing to do with the mafia. But he was almost hit in the middle of the road. The only reason he _wasn’t_ was because some young kid was around at the time and managed to push him out of the way.

“Neither of them were harmed, but the old man was so grateful to the boy, he decided to reward him.”

Somewhere in the black depths of his memory, long before he’d met Seokmin, before any of his life had become so twisted, he could remember the conversation as clear as day.

_“I saved an old man today.”_

_“You did?”_

_“He was crossing at a red light. Almost got hit by a car.”_

_“Are you okay?”_

_“I’m fine. I feel heroic.”_

_“You are, kid. You are.”_

“He rewarded him by making him the heir to the White Snake group. They’d been restless since the old fart hadn’t chosen an heir yet. He chose this random kid on the street. His name… can you guess it?”

Soonyoung’s hands on the desk began to tremble. His stomach swooped a moment before dropping all over again. He took a moment to put a hand over his mouth to stop himself from gagging as the world swirled around his brain. Pain shot through his chest as he steadied himself. “…Samuel,” he whispered.

“That’s right! Samuel.” The voice was delighted. “So I went digging into who this _Samuel_ was… turns out he didn’t always live in Jeju. He moved there years ago, when he was adopted by a man called Choi Seungcheol. What a coincidence! The same Choi Seungcheol who made a laughing stock of me in my younger days… the one who ruined my life, _that_ Choi Seungcheol, had taken in this Samuel kid!”

Soonyoung grappled for a box of tums that lay on the desk, crushing one between his molars to stop the rise of bile in his throat.

“Then I found out that Choi Seungcheol, and the other person who had ruined me, Lee Jihoon, were the legal parents of this Samuel kid. In Jeju. No wonder I couldn’t find them before. I would never have guessed they had left the mainland. But you know what _else_ I found?”

“God.”

“No, no I didn’t find God. I found something better. Because not only were Lee Jihoon and Choi Seungcheol living together like that, I found out that Samuel wasn’t the only little boy they had adopted. Was he?”

Soonyoung had to close his eyes in horrified dismay as the entire world seemed to slip from between his fingers. “ _Me_.”

“That’s right! You and Samuel are brothers. And then I find out _, cousins_ of Jihoon. It’s a very, very small little world, isn’t it?” Jeonghan let out a little cackle. “It all made sense. If Samuel had found out his little brother had been captured, and was being tortured, he’d put a stop to it immediately. No wonder you were let go so soon. No wonder I was banished. It all made sense. All the people who destroyed my life are all related to each other! The man who mocked me, married the man who destroyed me, who was cousins with the man who took away my chance at revival, who was brothers with the man who took away my chance at revenge. It was truly unbelievable, Soonyoung. Truly.”

Seokmin and Minghao had to hold Soonyoung up on either side as he lost the strength in his knees.

“You’ll never guess where I am right now.”

Soonyoung suddenly shot to his feet without help. His heart beat painfully against his ribs; his eyes darted to the phone, crazed. He was shaking, but he was focused. “No.”

“I didn’t know you had dogs. They’re pretty old, too.”

“Jeonghan, you get away from them.” Soonyoung’s voice was tight. “You get away from them _right now_.”

“Aw, that’s so cute. You care. No, no, don’t worry, they’re all here. I haven’t hurt a single one of them. So far, of course. Say hello to your brother, _Samuel_.”

There was silence.

“Say hi. _Say hi!_ ” A loud slapping sound made Soonyoung gag. “Say hi!”

“Samuel!” He broke down, gripping the phone, screaming into it. “ _Samuel, Samuel! Are you there? Are you really there?! Say something damn it! Samuel! Sam! Say something! **Baby brother!**_ ”

The voice was begrudging at the very least. “I’m fine. We’re all fine, Soonyoung. Don-”

The sound muffled and died out.

“There, now you know I’m not lying. They’re all here. And they’re all fine. As of yet. See, I don’t really feel like making you all suffer independently of one another. It seems you’re a very close family. I want you all to suffer together. I want you to feel that kind of pain. The pain of seeing your family tortured before your eyes. You understand, right Soonyoung? I want you to come here. To Jeju. You’d better be quick though. I don’t want to get bored, or anything. Who knows what I’d be capable of?”

“You _son of a bitch._ When I get my hands on you-”

“Oh, and don’t think of mobilizing any mafia factions, either.” The voice was arrogant. “I’ve got camera feeds set up all over the island. You come here with a whole load of people, I shoot your brother. In the head. Instantly. He doesn’t mean so much to me, so I guess I can shoot him whenever I like. If you don’t stop, the others are next. Do you understand?”

Soonyoung began to shake from head to toe.

“Then, Soonyoung, I’ll see you soon.”

It took him a while, after the line went dead, but Soonyoung began to scramble: he used the desk to support himself and opened the bottom drawer, pulling out the gun Seokmin kept there. “Excuse me,” he whispered, staring at the metal numbly. “I have somewhere I need to be.”

“Stop. Think about this.”

“ _HE HAS MY BROTHER!_ ”

“Stop and _think_ , damn it!” Seokmin gripped him by the shoulders and shook him for a moment. “You can’t take the mafia, but that doesn’t mean you have to go alone. He’ll be expecting me to come with you, so let me come. That gun isn’t loaded, you won’t be taking him out with it. You won’t get through security with it, either. You need to pack. I’m experienced. Let me help you.”

Soonyoung looked him in the eye, finally breaking down, terrified. “Help me save them,” he whispered.

Seokmin turned. “Minghao, bags. Jun, tickets.”

“You want me to hack an airline?” Despite the situation, Jun was glowing with opportunity.

“Just get me the damn tickets.” Seokmin gripped Soonyoung’s hand. “You’re coming with me.”

“Where are we going?”

“To get some weapons.”

 

“Thank god your ears are pierced.” Seokmin put down his glue and pressed on the cardboard. “There, it’s sealed. This will go through airport security as a toy gun for your little brother. They won’t question it, since it’s in a package. It almost certainly looks like a toy. Here are the bullets. These are magnetic backs. You can wear them as earrings going through security. When we hit the ground in Jeju you can open it up and load it.”

 _This man is a genius and I am out of my depth_ was a thought recognized somewhere in the back of Soonyoung’s mind, but in the forefront he could only see his family. His brother, whom he’d sworn to protect every day of his life. The father who adopted him. The cousin who healed his heart. The uncle who had taken care of him. Charlie, who had opened him up. Adele, who was always happy to see him.

They were all in danger now. And they had to be helped.

“Give me your shoe.”

“What?”

“Give me your shoe.”

Soonyoung took off the item and handed it over: Seokmin slit the rubber soles open with a small knife and inserted a small pouch into the very tip of the toe. “Don’t walk on your toes,” he mumbled. “It’ll crunch. I’ll put the other pouch in my shoes. When they’re mixed together they should create a small, but fairly decent smoke bomb.”

Soonyoung simply watched his shoe get glued back together and put it back on.

Minghao suddenly walked in with two backpacks, seemingly filled to the brim, with another on his back. “Done.”

“Knives?”

“Inside the lead lining of a coffee canister.” Minghao helped Soonyoung slip one onto his back. “They’ll never pick it up behind lead.”

“Great. Jun?”

“He’s gone to grab card to print out the tickets on.”

“Do you need something?”

“Me? I fell yesterday and sprained my ankle.” Minghao picked up a steel cane and leaned on it like a professional elderly man. “I need a cane. It just so happens that this one can kill when used properly.”

“What’ll Jun use?”

“God knows.”

“Jun’s packed a tent for himself that may or may not become a metal crossbow when assembled correctly.” Jun appeared at the mouth of the stairs of the basement, ready to go, brandishing airline tickets. “Only got two arrows, though. Are we doing now? Flight leaves in half an hour, and it’ll take twenty to get to the airport.”

“Let’s go.”

 

The mad dash to the airport almost resulted in a police chase, but they made it there in record time: they ran through the airport to make the gate, and then ran for the plane, too. There was a little anxiety in Soonyoung’s stomach over the legitimacy of the plane tickets, but they went undetected, much like the various items of weaponry stashed around them.

He fidgeted on the plane, but Seokmin’s voice at his ear kept him from truly losing his mind.

“It’s faster that the train to Busan and getting the ferry out. You know that. Sit still or the flight attendant will give you a paper bag to puke in.”

“I might need one.”

“It’s going to be okay. We’re going to get them out.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“Jeonghan isn’t affiliated with any groups anymore. He’s doing this with a small amount of people. We are well-prepared, and you know how to keep him talking. He’s mad with revenge and that will force him to make mistakes. I have been doing this for a very long time, Soonyoung. I _will_ get them all out safely.”

Soonyoung closed his eyes and nodded.

“I promise.”

The words were comforting and reassuring on the outside, but it made little difference. They didn’t penetrate. Soonyoung was lost in the world of his own mind, where new truths were trying to settle in his mind.

Samuel was an heir to a faction of mafia. _Samuel was an heir to a faction of mafia._ It explained his disappearances that lasted all day from the house; why he was so relaxed after being tied to a chair by an unknown man and slapped in the face; why he was so careful about Soonyoung’s relationship with Seokmin; why he pushed for Soonyoung to go to China. It explained everything.

Samuel was the one who had him released when he had been abducted. Samuel had taken care of him from the shadows. His little brother had saved him.

The idea of his little brother being tied up in a room with Jeonghan was the stuff of nightmares. It was something Soonyoung had never thought possible. Seokmin had _promised_ it wasn’t possible for his family to be found out.

Seokmin had been wrong.

He couldn’t focus on that: he couldn’t focus on anything except the knife that was cutting through his flesh, burning through his chest like alcohol from hell. He could only imagine what had to be going through his family’s heads.

 _His fault._ Say what you like, it was _his fault_. If he had never allowed himself to get caught up with Seokmin, his family would have been safe. Jeonghan would never have found them. The crazy man out on a rampage, begging for their _deaths_ , wouldn’t have found them. Old enemies would never have been reunited. And it was all his fault.

It was a long, lonely flight to Jeju island.

 

Soonyoung’s legs couldn’t stop once they hit the tarmac: he had to explain his antsy disposition to security, but an explanation of hating flights and a forgotten dose of Ritalin had them eating out of his palm. The group was half-way down a near-abandoned road in a hired car when they stopped to assemble their things.

“You’re an excellent liar,” Seokmin noted as he watched Soonyoung load his gun.

“You would be too, under the circumstances.”

Seokmin flinched a little at the coldness in Soonyoung’s voice, but quickly got over it, turning to Jun and Minghao. “We’ll stop a little closer to the place. You two take the outside. We’ll go through the main entrance.”

“Yes, sir.”

“You ready?”

“Yeah.”

“Let’s get back in the car.”

 

Seokmin slowed for the two men in the back to step out: they hurried out in opposite directions, and he just kept driving.

“Soonyoung, we are going to save your family, and this will _never_ happen again. Okay?”

“Yes.” Soonyoung didn’t look at him, voice sounding soft and far-away. “Yes, okay.”

He simply sped up towards the house.

Soonyoung didn’t bother screaming as he burst through the front door, gun concealed in his inside pocket: he simply ran right through the hallway, Seokmin on his heels.

In the kitchen, in a perfect row, sat Jihoon, Seungcheol and Samuel, tied and gagged, with bruises blooming like flowers on their faces. In their beds, Adele and Charlie lay asleep. Behind them, a thin figure sat on a kitchen countertop, drinking from a glass beer bottle.

“Oh, you’re here!” Jeonghan gave them a delighted, happy, twinkly-eyed smile, and hopped down from the counter, waving his gun happily. “Shall we begin, then?”


	36. Chapter 36

 “…you said you hadn’t hurt them.” Soonyoung’s eyes moved from cuts on his brother’s face to bruises on his cousin’s. “What is this?”

“I got bored.” Jeonghan smiled, like an angel gazing down at the birth of Jesus Christ himself. “You took a very long time.”

“It’s only been a few hours.” Soonyoung worked not to let the defeat slip into his voice as he could feel his stomach heaving.

“I know, so slow, so slow.”

“How fast do you think a flight from Seoul to Jeju _is_?”

Jeonghan smirked. “I don’t think you should be worrying about that right now, should you?” He raised the gun, aiming it square at Soonyoung’s face.

A cold shiver went down the boy’s spine. Everything stopped for half a second.

“The gun in your pocket, if you could dispose of it on the ground, please and thank you.”

Soonyoung never took his eyes off Jeonghan as he slowly reached into his pocket, but his voice was soft. “Don’t worry Sam, Dad, Jihoon. It’s okay. I’ll fix it.”

“Sure you will. Hurry up.”

Soonyoung dropped the gun to his side.

“You too, Seokmin. The nunchuks in your pants.”

Begrudgingly, Seokmin pulled out the weapons and let them hit the floor. “How did you know?”

“Didn’t I say I had cameras everywhere on the island? I saw you get out and arm yourselves. Now it’s time you called your two men off. They’re surrounding the house, aren’t they?”

Seokmin didn’t move, eyes narrowing slightly. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Jeonghan shrugged, moved his gun to point to the floor and shot it, letting a hole appear in the wood. The burst of it made both Soonyoung and Seokmin jump a little. Calmly, he raised the gun back up to Soonyoung’s face. “Make the call, Seokmin.”

Seokmin gave his lover a horrified look before he finally called. “Minghao. Jun. Let it go. He knew. Let it go.” After a few minutes, the two showed up behind Seokmin and Soonyoung, hands in the air. They filed in behind them silently.

 _We are well-prepared, and you can keep him talking._ Preparation had failed. _You can keep him talking._ “You’re alone.” Soonyoung murmured, trying to sound surprised.

“Me?” Jeonghan laughed with a bedazzling grin. “Of course I’m alone! After everything the four of you have done to me, how could I not be alone?”

 _Jisoo. Uncle Jisoo_. The words had tumbled out of his mouth before he knew what was happening. “Where’s my uncle?!”

“Oh, there’s an uncle, too? I guess I need to do my research better. Don’t worry. Anybody else comes in, I’ll shoot them on sight.” Jeonghan waved the gun like it was a toy. “None of you will survive for long, so don’t worry. I _was_ going to drag this out, but I don’t know how long I’ll be able to resist killing you all. I’ve _dreamt_ of this day, you understand.”

Soonyoung could see the look Seokmin was giving him from the corner of his eye. _Don’t say rash things. Don’t make rash decisions. Keep your head screwed on._

Soonyoung breathed hard, stomach twisting and flipping, when a sound interrupted them.

“Aw, jeez, now the hounds are awake, too. I thought I gave them plenty of drugs to knock them out.” Jeonghan turned to where both dogs were rising to their paws, gun outstretched. “Well.”

“No! Down, Charlie, down!” Soonyoung stretched a hand out uselessly, and Jeonghan didn’t fire as Charlie stopped growling.

“Oh? It listens to you very well.”

“Down, Charlie.” Soonyoung made his voice softer. “Stay, girl. That’s right, baby. Stay. Stay Charlie. Stay Adele.”

Jeonghan turned to drape himself over Jihoon’s shoulders from behind. It gave off an eerie ambiance, like seeing a snake poised over a terrified, frozen mouse. “I guess you’re wondering, right? I guess I told you once. Did you not hear correctly?”

“You were vague,” was all Soonyoung could say.

“Well, it began a long time ago, when me and this little guy were both prostitutes.”

Charlie began to growl again.

“Down, girl.”

“You see back _then_ , this creature was considered the lowest of the lowest in the district. You know how it is. Hookers like that don’t make a lot of money. I had high-paying clients though. I was an escort of incredible magnitude. But then this _fucker_ decided to like him.” Jeonghan hit Seungcheol over the head with the butt of his gun: not enough to knock him out, but enough to make him scream through his gag for a moment.

“Stop that,” Soonyoung cried, shortly before ordering Charlie to be still again.

Jeonghan ignored him, waving his gun carelessly. “And when he tossed me aside for him, I got drunk and well apparently, word got out. For somebody like me, to lose like somebody like him… you can imagine what kind of hit my image took. The word got around to clients. I began to lose appointments. These two disappeared – even the child that lived with Jihoonie here moved out of the red light district. Wasn’t even a sex worker himself. Anyway – I began to get lower, and lower. Things looked so bad. I wanted revenge on them, but they had disappeared.

“I couldn’t pay rent… I was worrying about where my next meal would come from. Suddenly, you showed up.” Jeonghan looked at Seokmin like he was seeing the moon for the first time, eyes twinkling. “You just rolled up and asked me to come with you. I lived a good life. You didn’t ask too many questions. I was able to work. I regained dignity. I regained money. I regained my image… laughable, isn’t it?”

Soonyoung gulped.

“Your family took away everything once, and then you took it away a second time. Do you think you’re a person I can forgive? Do you think you’ll be allowed to live like this? After ruining me? After taking away everything from me? That suit you’re wearing, it’s a suit that _I_ bought you, you think you can go around walking with it like this?”

“Jeonghan, stop this now,” Seokmin pleaded. “Put the gun down. There’s nothing you can do now. It can’t get better with this. You know it can’t.”

“You shut up!” The gun moved to Seokmin, but it began to tremble. “What does it matter? What does it matter if everything gets better or not? It only ever gets better for _you_ people. It never gets better for me! Am I just supposed to live with it? Am I just supposed to let it go? While you’re all drinking champagne and eating caviar and having a good life, am I just supposed to scrounge for my living like this? Over and over? How much do I have to go through?”

“What are you going to do, Jeonghan? You’ll go to jail if you keep this up. You’ll be in there for life. Is that what you want?”

“What do you know? Do you know how good it’ll be in jail? I’ll be safe and I’ll have food! Besides… I- I have somebody who promised to come to me! I have somebody who promised to come to me when I’m there! Somebody who loves me no matter what. I’m not scared of jail. You can’t scare me with that!”

“This is senseless,” Soonyoung pleaded. “You’re angry because you couldn’t hold on to things, but you failed to realize that they weren’t things you were supposed to hold on to.”

Jeonghan let out a deranged cackle, laughing as he shook the gun to point it at Soonyoung again. “Is that it? Did you really just say that just now? You’re telling me I shouldn’t want these things? That I shouldn’t ask for a decent living?”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Do you really think you’re _that_ much better than me? Do you think you have more rights than I do? Are you the king?”

“That’s not what I meant, Jeonghan. Look at this rationally.”

“I am! I am, and that’s why… that’s why! I’m doing this!”

There was a moment of silence before there was a light bang at the front of the house, and a soft, near-angelic voice came floating out. “Guys! I’m home again!”

Soonyoung froze as he recognized it.

Time seemed to slow down into an agonizing pace, where all the world was shifting and no matter how much he tried, he couldn’t stop it happening. He couldn’t stop it, couldn’t stop it, couldn’t stop it.

“Oh, we have visitors? I see shoes!”

The voice was coming nearer, and Soonyoung wanted to run. He wanted to stop him from coming in. Save him. But he couldn’t. He was glued to where he stood. He couldn’t save him. He couldn’t stop it.

 _I’m losing them_ , he thought. _I’m going to lose everybody right here, right now._

“Anyway, Busan market was great! Sorry I’m late, the ferry back took forever. But I got some nice… things…”

Jisoo stopped in the doorway of the kitchen and dropped the bags in his arms.

Jeonghan turned the gun to him, but it was too late. His expression was crumpling, behind the crazy mask he’d been wearing, he began to break down. He stared in confusion and misunderstanding. “… _you_ … _?_ ”

“…Jeonghan.” Jisoo stood there, staring at him as the cogs in his mind began to click into place. “Jeonghan,” he whispered, his eyes filling with tears. “Jeonghan, what are you doing to my family?”

“No.” Jeonghan shook his head, horrified. “No, no, no! What… what are you doing here? Ji… Jisoo? What are… what are you doing here? No!”

The two stared at each other for an immeasurable amount of time as the dynamic in the air changed. Something was wrong. Something was very, very wrong, as the two men in the room stared at each other, breaking softly.

“Jeonghan.” His voice was impossibly soft. Tears began to stream silently down his cheeks. Jisoo fell to his knees, masked in horror. “ _What are you doing to my family?_ ”

Jeonghan’s trembling became out of hand as his face crumpled in pain. “Why? No, why, why? Why is it _you_?! Jisoo… how… why…”

The hand holding the gun began to lower.

That was the moment Charlie growled, and jumped.

From outside the house, the gunshots echoed.


	37. Chapter 37

The chaos around them passed in buzzing flashes, with the sound of gunshots ringing in Soonyoung’s head. The world was a dazzling display of fireworks going off around in him bright, over-saturated images, but all he could do was stare at Minghao’s body, blooming red in his arms.

Soonyoung could only bare to rip his eyes away from his friend’s bloody body for a split second.

The house filled with men in a frenzy, hard to understand: Samuel was taken, like a child, into the arms of a masked, buff man; Jihoon and Seungcheol were untied by unknown men; they surrounded Jeonghan; Jisoo scrambled over the floor like a baby towards his family, sobbing.

 “It’s okay! It’s okay!” Samuel’s little voice managed to break over the chaos as everybody went quiet. “They’re my men. They’re here to help us.”

“Minghao.” The dreaded whisper made Soonyoung stumble forward, onto his knees, gripping his friend’s body tighter as the blood began to stain the floor in thick, slow droplets. “Minghao! _Minghao!_ What are you doing?! Minghao! You’re… you’re bleeding, Minghao!”

“There’s an ambulance outside,” a voice said.

He watched, helplessly, as if he could only watch snapshots of his life taken through a camera he could not control, while two men pulled Minghao’s bleeding body onto a gurney and dragged him outside. He staggered on after them, unwilling to let go, numb and in shock.

Minghao gripped his shirt. “Soonyoung.”

“Minghao. Don’t move. You’re bleeding. You’re bleeding so much. Minghao don’t die. You’re bleeding. Shh.”

“I’m sorry. Listen.”

“Don’t speak, Minghao. Minghao, don’t speak.” Soonyoung’s hands fluttered over his body worriedly, dripping hot with blood.

“I love you,” Minghao whispered with a smile. “I have for a while. So if I die, don’t forget the boy who had a silent crush on you… okay?”

That was the last thing he was able to say before he was strapped into the ambulance and driven away.

 

By the time Soonyoung had rushed back into the house, Jeonghan was gone. The snapshots began to hurry in the back of his mind, creating a moving painting until it was all too much and altogether too fast for him to truly understand. The architect simply fell on top of his family in a circle, gripping them close in a tight embrace. “I love you,” he whispered before he began to cry. “I love you so much.”

 

It took hours for emotions to die down, for the story to be explained and for the chaos to be understood. Adrenaline began to leave the body, and everybody was left to sit in emotionless shock.

“I had an appointment to go out earlier today,” Samuel mumbled, a little shyly. “When I didn’t show up, I guess Leesoo here reckoned something was wrong. Uh… everybody, this is Leesoo, he’s my bodyguard.”

Leesoo took off his mask and bowed deeply.

“You came to our rescue. Thanks.”

“For you, anything, little boss.”

Jihoon sighed, shaking his head. “Both you were affiliated with the mafia… is this a camera prank or…?”

“It’s real.”

Jihoon scowled worriedly, an uneasy silence reigning for a moment.

“What will happen to Jeonghan?” a quiet voice asked.

There was a moment of uneasy silence before Leesoo could answer.

“He’s being taken to the police right now. What happened today won’t be mentioned, so none of you will have to stand witness, but we’ll make sure he gets put away for a long, long time.”

The bitterness on Jisoo’s face didn’t fall, but nobody dared ask.

“I’m glad it all worked out. I was worried there, for a bit.” Seokmin rubbed his face a few times. “Samuel, allow me to greet you properly.” He bowed deeply. “The leader of the Three Roses greets you.”

“The Little Leader of the White Snakes greets you as well.”

“Stop fucking greeting each other like you’re mafia, or I’ll go out of my mind,” Jihoon snapped. “That’s enough. Enough of _everything_.”

Soonyoung simply tended to his brother’s cuts as his family fought shallowly. He refused to sleep anywhere that wasn’t alongside his little brother that night, curling up in bed with the boy safely held in his arms.

They lay in silence for a while, simply staring at each other.

“I can’t believe,” Samuel eventually whispered into the darkness, “he shot Charlie.”

Soonyoung froze for a moment, swallowing hard. “Charlie was old,” he whispered. “We both know she was on borrowed time. Has been for a while. A deaf, blinding dog. She wanted to save our lives. She did. She got hit by an errant bullet, just like Minghao. That’s all there is to it.”

“Charlie… Charlie.”

Nobody slept well that night.

And just like that… it was all over.

 

Two weeks later, Soonyoung left his family under the protection of Samuel and his Mafiosi, and went back to Seoul.

But he wasn’t the same man he had been.

And he never would be again.

 

“They told me you were awake… I was surprised.” He hovered in the doorway, unsure where to look.

“Come in, come in.” Minghao smiled sleepily. “I’m on a lot of drugs, but I’m fine. The bullets didn’t go deep or rupture anything too important, ‘cause he wasn’t aiming for me. Actually, next week, they’ll be letting me out. You didn’t have to come visit.”

“Of course I did.” Soonyoung put down the flowers and plonked down on a chair. “It’s my fault you’re here.”

“Nah. It’s an occupational hazard.”

Soonyoung couldn’t answer that. He simply looked at the floor.

Minghao let a long silence fall as he picked up on the weary, pained atmosphere that hung around his friend. The trepidation hung in the air, suspended, thick enough to cut. “When I leave here next week… I won’t be seeing you anymore, will I?”

He couldn’t lift his gaze from the floor. “…I’m afraid not, Minghao.”

“…I see. This doesn’t have anything to do with what I said, does it?” Minghao scowled. “Did I even say it? I don’t remember.”

“You said it. It has nothing to do with that.”

“Oh. I see. Good. Forget I ever said it. I only said it ‘cause I thought I was gonna die, anyway.” Minghao breathed deeply, mulling it over. “Have you told _him_ yet?”

“No. I’m going there later.”

“I see.”

“I’m sorry. I don’t want…”

“It’s okay, Soonyoung. I know you’re not throwing away a friendship with me.”

Soonyoung bit his lip and nodded, curling up on the seat for a moment. “I’m really not. I remember the first day we met. You offered me tums. I puked in a plant. You’ve been a friend ever since. I don’t want to…”

“Soonyoung… I understand. If we are ever… _not_ in this position, let’s be friends once more, okay?”

“I’d like that.”

“I’m sorry. For everything.”

“You shouldn’t be the one apologizing.” He shook his head, staring into space for a moment. “Everything that happened… well, I guess it was out of everybody’s hands. But you were an innocent bystander to every moment of it. You shouldn’t be apologizing.”

“It’s okay.”

Soonyoung sniffed a bit, but couldn’t say much. The two simply sat in silence for a while.

“I’ll miss you lots.”

“I’ll miss you too.”

“We…” He hesitated. “We won’t be able to text, will we?”

“No, I think that’s a bad idea.”

“Okay.”

“I should probably go now. He’s expecting me.”

“What are you even going to tell him?” Minghao scowled. “He won’t believe most lies you can plan.”

Soonyoung bit his lip, standing. “And that’s why I won’t be telling him a lie.”

Minghao smiled sadly at him from the hospital bed. “Don’t feel guilty about me getting shot. It was an errant bullet anyway. He wasn’t aiming for me.”

Soonyoung could only nod.

“…goodbye, Soonyoung. Take care of yourself.”

Soonyoung squeezed his hand once before turning away. “Goodbye, Minghao. I’m sorry.”

 

Seokmin welcomed him in, but he could taste the atmosphere in the air.

Soonyoung sat in a chair in front of his desk and looked down.

“…I’m not going to like what you have to say, am I?”

Soonyoung’s lips twitched a moment. “I would find it… very surprising… if you did.”

“…well, lay it on me.”

Soonyoung put out his hand and unclenched his fist over Seokmin’s desk. He couldn’t even look at the bracelet and ring that dropped there, staring at the desk instead. “I’ll be leaving for China week after next. They have accommodations ready for me in Beijing to start work immediately. I’m leaving you.”


	38. Chapter 38

Seokmin stared at the two items on his desk as he began to understand the implications. “…really?” he whispered in horror. “You’re… leaving me?”

“Yes. I’m leaving you.”

“ _Leaving_ me, Soonyoung?”

“I’m leaving you, Seokmin.”

“You won’t… won’t marry me?”

“I won’t marry you.”

“You won’t stay with me?”

“I won’t stay with you.”

“ _Soonyoung_.”

“You know why. Because I was here, that’s why it all happened. If I had never come here, Jeonghan would never have found out.”

“But Jeonghan’s behind bars now! He will be for the next twenty years!”

“You can’t guarantee something like this won’t happen again. No matter how much you try to hide me… being here with you is a danger to my family.”

Seokmin couldn’t argue with that.

“I won’t pretend that I don’t love you anymore. I do. I love you… so much. Too much. I love you so much I feel like it’s consuming me from the inside out. I love you with every inch of my body. I love you like you’re a part of my own soul. You wouldn’t believe me if I said I didn’t, anyway.”

Soonyoung stared at the desk numbly.

“But I won’t. From now on, soon, I won’t love you anymore. I’ll stop myself from loving you from today onwards. I’ll stop loving you. I’ll stop thinking of you, of whether you’re happy, whether you’ve eaten, whether you’re crying. I’ll stop being bound to you like this. It’s not good for me, and it’s probably bad for your health, too. Bad relationships shouldn’t be encouraged.”

“Soonyoung.”

“You don’t have to worry about me. I’ll be safe in Beijing. I’ll eat well, and sleep well, and take care of myself. I won’t get into trouble with the Chinese mafia. I’ll learn and graduate and become a respectable, working man, and I’ll forget all about you, and Minghao, and Jun, and Stoy, and Jeonghan. I’ll forget about all of you. You’ll be like a fever dream that never happened. I’ll throw away all my memories of you. So… you don’t have to worry about me.”

“ _Soonyoung_.”

“I won’t say I’m sorry. I’m not sorry. I will do whatever it takes to protect my family. You’d do the same thing. You _have_ done the same thing. I’m not sorry I’m leaving you, Seokmin.” His stare became more obstinate, a little more stressed, as if he could break the desk with his gaze. “I know I owe you for what you’ve done for me. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I’m sorry, but I won’t be repaying the debt that I owe you.”

There was a moment of silence as the words hung in the air.

“From here on out, I’ll be blocking your number. Don’t try to text me or call me. Don’t get in touch with my family. Don’t go to Jeju to look them up. Don’t try to find me. Let me leave with some level of dignity.”

“Soonyoung, it was…”

“Minghao got shot. Minghao. _Our_ Minghao bled on my hands. My family was in danger. My little brother was tied up and beaten. You should know I can’t stay after that. If I did… I’m bound to you, Seokmin, I’m bound and begging to be released.”

Seokmin closed his eyes.

“So I’ll be leaving.”

“If I said I loved you… would it change anything?” When Soonyoung finally managed to raise his eyes to meet Seokmin’s, he found the man crying, his voice straining with desperation. “If I told you I loved you, if I told you we were soulmates, that we were meant to be, that we are everything we were ever supposed to be… if I told you that I would literally do anything for you, Soonyoung… would it change _anything_?”

Soonyoung shook his head slowly. “No. It wouldn’t.”

Seokmin had to scrunch his eyes closed again.

“It would just hurt more.”

“You won’t come back? You won’t change your mind like last time?”

“No. I won’t.”

“You won’t hold me when there’s a storm?”

“I won’t.”

“You won’t even text me?”

“No.”

“Soonyoung… are you _really_ going to leave, just like that?”

The architect nodded slowly. “I’m really leaving you. I know I’m breaking every promise I ever made. I’m sorry I won’t be able to make that up to you, either. This is my resolve. To protect my family.”

“Ah, I _knew_ it.”

“…what?”

Seokmin managed to work out a smile through a waterfall of silent tears. “I knew you were too good for me,” he grinned. “Too good to last.”

Soonyoung almost began to cry, but he found that whenever he was in danger of feeling emotional, he could simply call on the coldness he felt when he saw his bruised little brother, and let the feeling cover his heart. He took a moment, breathed out, and carried on in the same monotonous, emotionless, numbing voice.

“If you have anything that you want to give back, you can leave it on Mingyu’s doorstep. He’ll be staying where he is. Please don’t reach out to him or any of my friends. You aren’t obliged to give anything back, though. It’s okay to know our love was real and hold on to the memories, if it doesn’t hurt you too much.”

Seokmin shook his head in silent horror.

“I’ll be leaving now. I only came by today to say goodbye.” Soonyoung stood, turned, and walked to the door.

“Soonyoung!”

He paused with his hand on the doorknob.

“ _Good luck, my little everything_.”

Soonyoung’s hand crushed around the handle, the cold left his body, and he had dropped tears before he even turned.

Seokmin was shaking apart, his whole face red and blotchy, eyes looking straight at him. He was in spasms with emotion, but he still managed to plaster a smile on his face. “Good luck, Kwon Soonyoung,” he repeated, nodding.

Soonyoung mirrored his hurt smile through his tears with a simple nod. “Good luck, Lee Seokmin.”

 

“Well, Mingyu.” Soonyoung opened his mouth like he was going to say something, then thought the better of it. “See you.”

“Don’t.”

“Don’t what?”

“Don’t think that this makes me happy. I know that’s what you were going to say. It doesn’t make me happy that you broke up. It doesn’t make me happy that you’re leaving. None of it makes me happy. You were soulmates. I know that. _You_ know that.”

Soonyoung sighed, staring off into the distance. “Yeah, I know. I don’t think two people have ever been made for each other like him and I. We were meant to be. But… some relationships can’t work out, no matter how hard you try.”

It took Mingyu a moment, but then he hugged Soonyoung tightly, holding the boy’s head to his shoulder. “Don’t,” he whispered. “Don’t look so strong. I know how much you’re hurting. I hear you cry in the night, I hear you howl for him in your sleep, I hear the words you don’t say out loud. Don’t give me that brave face. Don’t look so cold and distant. I know you’re broken. If anything, don’t put up a front with me. Not with _me_ , Soonyoung.”

Soonyoung’s limp arms by his sides reached up to hug Mingyu back, and his fingers slowly became fists in his shirt. “I’m unhappy, Mingyu. I’m… I’m _broken._ Why? Why does it hurt this much? I know I’m doing the right thing… it’s not supposed to hurt _this much_ , Mingyu… I don’t know what to do.”

Mingyu hugged him harder. “Heal,” he commanded lowly. “Go to Beijing and heal your broken heart, Soonyoung. Please heal.”

The architect nodded and was released from his best friend’s viper grip, allowing him to wipe away a few errant tears. “Yeah, yeah I’ll, uh… I’ll do my best.”

“You know, girls still know their shit. I’ll ask Eyoung to send you a recipe for chocolate cake.”

Soonyoung barked out a laugh. “Thanks.”

“Text me when you land, alright?”

“It’ll be late.”

“Doesn’t matter.”

“Okay.” Soonyoung nodded, shrugging his bag a little higher on his back before wavering, his mouth open. “If… if…”

“If he comes by, I won’t tell you.” Mingyu stared him straight in the eye. “If he drops off your stuff, I won’t tell you; if he ends up crying and drunk at the door, I won’t tell you; if he kidnaps me, I won’t tell you; if I coincidentally meet him in the street, I _promise_ I won’t tell you. So please… just go and heal again, alright?”

Soonyoung smiled bitterly. “You’re a better friend than I deserve.”

“Travel safe. Tell me when you land. Eat lots of delicious noodles.”

“Will do. Bye, you overgrown Saint Bernard.”

“Bye, you oversized hamster.”

 

The man stood in front of the window, watching the plane turn and go down the runway. He watched it soar into the sky. He watched the spot where it faded into an invisible nothing, emotionless.

After some time, a voice cleared its throat. “Sir,” Minghao said softly, “it’s time. But, if you want to stay a little, to say goodbye to him… I can clear your schedule.”

It took him a moment, but he shook his head. “No,” he answered softly, turning. “No need. I have work to do.”

Seokmin turned his back on Soonyoung’s plane and left.

 

**_The End._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, for everything.


End file.
